Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 27 - Tests, Treatments and Trying Again

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Tea, hugs, a wealth of collective knowledge and lots of hand holding as we try again. This thread moves like lightning so hold on to your hats!
Previous thread
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/2404797-Recurrent-Miscarriage-Support-Thread-26-tests-treatment-and-trying-again

Allthereis, sorry to hear that. I do believe that for most of us here, every BFN, every miscarriage, is getting us closer to the BFP which sticks.

baking glad you have had some appointments but sorry that the NHS approach is just to 'wait and see'. I am glad that Snowdrop have given you some things you can proactively work on - it must be a relief to target something proactively after so much waiting. Lots of love to you all and the super cute little Faith .

gen echo what others have said, I don't think measurements are that accurate very early on, I hope that the next 2 weeks pass (relatively) quickly and it's more positive and conclusive at the next scan.

brummie chin up, I know you will but try not to worry about something that might not even be a consideration. Yes age is a factor but so are lots of other things, it shouldn't be quoted out of context like that. I would go on a stats and science rant but, well, it's friday and we don't need something like that on a friday

onestep hope you sort things with DH, I think sometimes all the frustration and grief has to go somewhere.

sasha hope you're ok today and not too anxious.

allthereis

flower nice to hear from you and sorry you have been finding things tough. Sorry it's looking like BFN for this month.

tanny [waves]

flen and march hoping all the cramping is stretching and making a lovely uterus home for little beans, still scary though!

I know a few of you got bfns, x amount of dpo but just a bit of hope for you I got my bfp 19dpo (I got my first smiley 19 days before my bfp on clear blue ovulation test) I thought I was done with.....so there is still time! Xx

sasha, if that spotting was implantation then it will be 2 to 4 days before hcg gets high enough to register. Don't lose hope yet.

flower, sorry for the bfn, hoping it's still too early. Glad you are looking at getting the hystero privately to speed things up. It must be so frustrating.

Thanks girls and biscuits you've just reminded me that I have some Brie in the fridge - that's lunch sorted :)

sasha good news - a step in the right direction!

How you doing today loopy?

brummie your MW is talking shite. At 38, age related risk is 1:150, and a good NT/bloods would reduce that further. I have been fortunate to have reassuring screening tests for my 3 children, I always said the trisomy risk would have to be higher than the MC risk to have amnio/CVS, though Harmony now eliminates that element of potentially harming the baby.

I have to say I really battled with the midwives throughout my sons pregnancy for all sorts of reasons (home birth anyone?) and I actually really regret it now. In fact in embarrassed at what a twat I was.

So I have a little bit of sympathy for midwives now and think they do a very hard and often thankless job. This time I am just nodding enthusiastically to everything and praying if I ever get a chance to labour again I just get a live baby at the end if it - I honestly don't care how much agony they want to put me through if the end result is healthy.

Coffee! We need buckets of coffee too Sasha, if you are coming can you swing by Starbucks on the way?!

brummie I'm sorry your midwife has caused you anxiety. Not that its an excuse - but some people just don't know how to be tactful. There's a difference in the way you can give information without scaring the shit out of people.

I was talking to my mum the other day, and thinking how women were brave in her generation. She had her eldest at 19, and I came along when she was 41 accident surprise!
But back then she didn't have the luxury of even a scan to make sure all was ok, let alone blood tests,cvs etc. She just had to have faith that we were all ok. Now days I'm thankful, even though sometimes we have to fight for it, we can do a lot more to support the health of us, and our babies.

Can I join the brie party please? Was out today and had a coffee from Costa - and I didn't cry.

Ugh, worded wrong - not saying that we're not brave, just trying to say that I'm glad we have more information available to us. Does that even make sense? Sorry, wasn't be offensive.

brummie I've read 1:150 risk at 38 as well.

baking glad to hear you have had some positive appointments at snowdrop and getting some support.

sasha sounds like possible implantation rather than anything else, but be warned that progesterone can cause implantation type twinges, although I hope it's the real deal and you'll get BFP.

Big hugs to all those struggling at the moment and all those bastard bfns! It's just awful and sometimes it seems like things will never get better, why should they? But they will... In the meantime lots of Brie, baked Camembert (drool), pate, Parma ham, dippy eggs, pimms, your fav cocktail, cake and chocolate...! (Now I've just made myself starving)

barking would have loved to see the consultants face when your DH said vasectomy, ha ha!

march glad your spotting has stopped and the cramping is due to stretching.

I see what you mean mrsB, don't worry I'm sure no one will find that offensive.

Did someone say picnic? And pimms?
I was supposed to be off the alcohol again now given the upcoming FER but as I'm not having to inject daily and the scans and blood tests haven't started yet it doesn't feel real. And it's not like I have to keep healthy for the eggs 'cos they're already in the freezer! One pimms won't hurt will it?

Girlie well done for getting the policy changed!

Mrsb I didn't read that negatively, knew what you meant!

Sorry for all the bfns .

floweroct Welcome back! I was wondering where you'd disappeared to! Sometimes it's better for your head to take a break, regardless of the amazing support while you're here .

Right, break over, back to work....

Spaminit* so so sorry to hear about your little Jack, it must've been dreadful and was not long ago. Disgusting that the hospital lost him too, you shouldn't have had to go through that after everything that you'd already been through. Big hugs to you xxx
MrsB no offense taken at all! It sounds like you're doing really well too in recovering and just getting out for s coffee.

I'm having a night away with DP tonight, little spa treat to cheer us up after last MC and to reconnect. No Ttc though with tests coming up. And I'd love to join the Brie and pimms party!!

Dh and I back on good terms now. Thanks for your support ladies, was just massively under the weather yesterday!!! Off to Penn Fest tonight with Dh, my cousin is headlining at the festival, he's in Scouting for girls. Hopefully get the crowd going.

Emerald have a lovely night away.

Girlie thanks to you other women won't have to go through what you went through. Well done.

Brummie I don't need to say anything, the ladies here are giving you excellent advice. Look forward to seeing you at our meet up on the 25th. Xxx

Thanks Onestep have a good time at the festival too! Oh wow really? Can you get any vip passes? Love Scouting for girls!

Where's Penn Fest not heard of that?

Onestep, I misread your post as your DH was scouting for girls. Now I've reread, and 'unclutched pearls', have a great night!

Everybody welcome at the parma ham, brie and runny eggs picnic party. Barking, I'd say a small Pimms is just what the doctor ordered? I rarely drink but I think I've just talked myself into one...

MrsB, it would take more than that to offend me! My mum and uncle are twins and although my grandmother had an feeling she might be carrying more than one baby when pregnant with them, the midwife (London in 1950) refused to give any opinion on the matter. My grandmother went into labour having no idea how many babies she was about to have!

Flower, don't worry about jealous of bfps, I confessed a similar feeling last week and the ladies were lovely. Since then I've had time to think and I think it's a natural part of grief for what I don't have.

Can I add Mr Whippy to the Brie, pate and Pimns party.? Had my first one in a few years today and it was extremely yummy!

Had forgotten about Mr Whippy!

Yay to the pimms party! Actually, i'm on the gnt if thats ok

Ooops...and possibly sneaking out the back for a cheeky menthol (havn't done that since 2003!) I might even slope off with a good looking bloke, ahem, i mean brie!

Sorry i've not caught up propperly today. In very bad mood of self pitty. Bfn really got me down then finally realised this morning that head was not going to get back to me before the end of term on my request for part time. I wrote him a very personal letter and official request in feb, hr and union leader have kept prompting him but he basically just let it slide. Fuckwit. He met with me this afternoon after hr insisted and he was so full of bluff and bluster, clearly full of shit. He said he'd passed it along to my head of department (who absoloutly knew nothing about it and had spent most of the morning comforting me). It's probably still in his in-tray. What a nob. Feel totally insignificant. At 40 and fat i feel like the piece of bacon rind that's cut off and thrown away. Society has zero interest in me now, may as well juat get my coat and fuck the fuck off!

Did i mention the self pitty?!

And don't tell me, i shouldn't have been eating Mr Whippy all this time??? Seriously, mood i in i could smash something!