Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 27 - Tests, Treatments and Trying Again

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Tea, hugs, a wealth of collective knowledge and lots of hand holding as we try again. This thread moves like lightning so hold on to your hats!
Previous thread
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/2404797-Recurrent-Miscarriage-Support-Thread-26-tests-treatment-and-trying-again

Welcome oneday and ruby so sorry for your losses and that you need to be here. We'd all like not to be! But it is a fab place, full of lovely ladies with amazing knowledge and great support.

twilight biscuits and freckle bugger on the bfns. It's so bloody hard. Hope next month is the one!

barking love your Dh mixing up vasectomy and circumcision!

spam I'm shocked at your hospitals treatment of Jack. It's absolutely disgraceful. I hope you get some answers and a proper apology. Sorry you're having to chase round too- it's so unfair!

Afm started the prog (alternated doors- hmm interesting!) when should I do it? Should there be certain number of hours between?

Rang Epu to arrange a scan (as per consultant orders of 6 weeks) but I'm going on holiday next Thursday till end of July so can't be seen until 6th August when I'll be almost 7 weeks. Feels like an eternity to wait! Worried I've no symptoms either, just a bit of general feeling sick but only as if I'm hungry. Also worried Coventry didn't prescribe heparin and what if that is the miracle worker! My danger zone is from next Friday till 6 weeks so basically if it happens I'll be on holiday-great! Unless it's another 11 weeks shock. But trying to be positive!

Congrats allthereis a line is a line!

To you too minnie, I hope you can relax on holiday and the next few weeks will fly by for us all!

Sorry Emerald, it was the Manchester St Mary's I was at - although I think there are a few ladies on here with experience of the London one

bythesea thank you for thinking of us! We are all done with appointments now, not seeing anyone for 6 months all being well. The neurologist was pleased with Faith but said given her current delays she's likely to have some ongoing issues. NHS frustratingly 'wait and see' about the whole thing. We had a much more productive trip to Devon to see Snowdrop, who produced a detailed report on how Faith is doing in all areas and identified several sensory deficits we can work on and a programme of exercises. She started nursery today in preparation for my return to work in September and had a good time

spam that is awful! I am so sorry your wishes for Jack were not respected.

welcome ruby offering a hand to hold in limbo land, it is horrendous when it gets drawn out for weeks.

Congrats to allthereis

Minnie and Allthereis woo hoo!!! Congrats ladies!!!!

Loopy my lines were quite faint too and slowly got darker. Don't give up chicken!!!!

Sorry about the BFN's hugs to you all

I'm feeling quite low tonight - I know I shouldn't be - but had my booking in appt today as 11+1 and midwife was lovely, agreed that due to my previous cervix problems etc a c section is highly likely.

But she really frightened me with the downs risk. Saying I've got a 1 in 54 chance. She said on Monday when I have my scan I need to be a risk of 1.150 and higher to not be a risk. I explained I would have the harmony test if that was the case. She said if the baby was in the wrong position and they couldn't do the nuchal test she would advise getting the harmony anyway due to my age

I've just sobbed down the phone to my Mum because I'm so frightened. We've already lost 3 babies and the thought of anymore heartache is just more than I can bear. I am so frightened.

I know that Downs risk is higher in older women but actually having it spelt out to you. I feel like I'm too old to be doing this and I'm scared about the implications of my age.

I'm so sorry for the self absorbed pits when many of you are in far darker places than me but I've just felt so overwhelmed and scared. Also doesn't help DP is drowning in his work (still no opening date for his venue) and is working crazy hours

And breathe

Brummie where did she get those figures from??

Ds 1 I had nuchal and they got the risk by combining this with a blood test and yes age was a factor but only one of them.

Ds 2 was of the awkward bugger variety and they couldn't measure the fold, so I went back and had a triple blood test.

I was 1:10000 for ds2 and 1:8800ish for ds1.

I have also read that more babies with downs actually are born to younger mothers.

And if you need a cs, please don't worry, I have had 2. Whilst they are not everyone's dream, I can wholeheartedly say the elcs with ds2 was a much better experience than the emcs with ds1.

I was told the nuchal measurement at ds1 scan and it was very clear in that as long as it's not too big then it's highly unlikely to be anything wrong irrespective of any other factors

Hi everyone, I had my 6 week scan today and I'm measuring closer to 5 weeks just a pregnancy sac and a yolk seen.....was a little scary and disappointing but I was pretty sure the 6 weeks the response trial nurse had estimated was too much and I knew I was closer to 5, I didn't get a bfp until 19dpo going by the clear blue ovualtion but going by my body I'm sure I didn't ovulate until 6 days after the test says I had my surge so my dates would be on point for what we saw, have a rescan in 2 weeks so going to be longest 2 weeks ever!! Good luck to everyone else....

Sorry for long rant post, it's nice to explain the situation too people who understand

Sorry that you're feeling so worried about the downs risk brummie. It sounds like the mw went a bit over the top to me. Yes, we all know we have a higher risk as we get older, but to be scaring you before you've even had the nt measurement is a bit reckless. Try not to worry. Wait until you have the nt result and see what it says after that. You can think about harmony when you have more actual info rather than just her assumptions . Remember, even if your risk was 1 in 54, that's 53 babies out of those 54 that would be absolutely fine. Big hugs x

spam, I'm appalled at the hospitals treatment of jack's remains. So sorry you're going through this on top of anything else. I really hope you get the apology you deserve.

Welcome back allthereis. Keeping everything crossed for darkening lines

I think it's better to spread the prog relatively evenly minnie, but it's not essential. I put it in just before bed so it can have the best chance to absorb without the effects of gravity. Then either first thing or a little bit later if i feel i might need to clear out beforehand . It's strange they didn't prescribe you the heparin. Did they give a reason? What was your mc pattern again?

Brummie I'm sorry to hear that you've been upset by such an insensitive midwife. I really wouldn't worry about your age, I think most of us on here are around the same age. I'd just go ahead and have the Harmony test, it's non-invasive and gives you a very clear answer without worrying about positioning during a scan. That's what I'm planning to do.

brummie your mw sounds like she's gone a bit over the top there. Where did she get the 1:54 chance from? Obviously we know it's a risk but it is for women of all ages. Try not to worry until you (if ever, which odds on is highly unlikely!) need to. Big hugs hon. Hope your Dh is less stressed soon too x

march thanks for the prog help! Prof B said they were wary of overprescribing when there was no pattern. The pattern is MC at 6 weeks (started at 5) then ds then mc2 at 6 weeks (started at 5) and then the abnormal findings on mc3 at almost 12 weeks. He said if the two earlies had been in a row he would have seen a pattern but as I had ds between them that it was more likely bad luck. Who knows?! My rm doc will only prescribe if Cov say so, so i think the hep is out.

brummie your mw shouldn't have made you worry about risk of downs. Yes age increases the risk but we all know that. Try not to worry about it and see what the results come back as. Glad she was lovely otherwise. I always feel low after appointments. They are real milestones to us lot and I find as each one passes I panic more about what I stand to lose if things goes wrong. You're so close to your 12 week scan! It's nerve wracking but you've made it this far. You can get through it. Will dp be able to make it to the scan with you?

gen 2 weeks will feel like an age until your next scan. Well done for getting through today's scan though. Fingers crossed things keep progressing nicely and you get to see more next time.

My lines on bfp have never been strong at the beginning and then I stop checking. A line is a line...

baking snowdrop sounds like it was really worth it. Hope faith settles into nursery quickly.

2 weeks until my anomly scan. O.m.g.

Had a stupid argument with dh tonight (we normally don't argue much) over a friggin ants nest and his parents just arriving at the doorstep in the middle of the day today even though he specifically told them he was working. I went off for a swim to vent my anger and sat in the car for ages, just felt I couldn't come back tonight and have to go over and over all again! He actually hinted that I was always on here or on Facebook and said he doesn't know how I'm feeling so he can't gauge whether to just leave me alone when I'm feeling a bit down of want to be left alone. I feel it's better I put my feelings on here rather than go on telling him how I'm coping every day. I already feel guilty that he's been through so much with the 4 mc's I don't want to dump my issues on him anymore, it actually grates on me if I have to lean on him emotionally, I just want everything to be normal and not feel like a frigging freak, sorry buts that's how I feel. I just want to run away this evening and not see anyone until I'm ready to come out and face the world again!!! Doesn't help I think af is days away and dh works from home and I'm at home not working this week. I don't know, I wish I knew how to fix things, just get back to normal. Right now I feel like I don't want to ttc anymore, I've had enough loss, but I know deep down in my heart I can't do that.

Sorry rambling!

Or anomaly scan depending on whether you can spell...

baking, glad to hear you've finally had your appointments for faith and that some of them were positive. Still so frustrating that the NHS are not being better. Hopefully the help you have received from snowdrops will fill the gap they've left x

Sounds like we're all having all ultra shit night. DH came home and I just had a massive emotional breakdown. Worried about test results, trying again, missing work, money, wanting my mum. All got a bit to much really.

Trying to calm down and relax, but its all so overwhelming sometimes.

Thanks all. I know the mw was just doing her job and she was trying to guide me towards the right choices bearing in mind my previous history

I think I'm overwhelmed by my journey to get here

Brummie - I think your mw was talking rubbish, sorry. Where did she pluck that number from, just from age? Well, if she did, she's just wrong. At 43, I was given an age-related risk of 1:50ish, so surely you can't have that, too!
Thing is, they won't calculate your risk on age alone, so please don't worry too much. I had a risk of over 1:4000 with DS at 39.
She could really have been a bit more sensitive, esp as she was aware of your history.

Barkingthanks, wasn't sure on the folic acid bit but lol re urine! You are funny. Good luck with DTD with DH away, yes immaculate conception indeed!

March you are so knowledgeable, thanks once I've got through this pile of tabs I'll look for some folate ones.

Teach yes definitely worth ringing for cancellation if poss, typical your app is just when you're back after all them hols! I'm booked for private tests in July and August and the only one whose said to me is them that I shouldn't be pg when I have the tests, so yes we are not trying until after those. I might give up by time NHS one comes round!

Oh no freckle how bloody annoying on both counts this morning!

Minnie hope you have a lovely holiday and your scan gets sorted, it's such a worry through that danger time you're bound to be worried. Not everyone has symptoms though and sometimes not till later so hang in there.

Boozle* oh it was, any ladies been to London St Mary's at all?

Brummie* you are not old!!!

Genwah*your scan sounds right for the dates you've explained, try not to worry too much but easier said than done I know, two weeks is a long time not knowing.

Onestepsorry to hear you're feeling down tonight, the imminent arrival of af doesn't help either. It's so hard to keep going at times isn't it and you do feel the need to just shut yourself away. This forum is great for putting all your feelings on where people understand. I feel like I'm glued to it too right now. Hope you feel better tomorrow

Sasha sorry to hear you're feeling down too, so many suffering tonight. Hope the twinge is something else and not ectopic at all, maybe it's not If you had bfn?

Sasha there's no reason right now to think any pg would be ectopic at the moment. I think it would be too early to feel a twinge caused by an ectopic. Cyclogest can certainly make you feel werd, and you're in the dreaded tww with emotions high anyway. If I were you, I would continue to test every other day (or every day, depending on which makes you calmer). The different sorts of panic we have to experience on this journey are never ending. Deep breaths and sending you a big hug x

Minnie great news!!!!!!!!!
And to you allthereis

Sorry freckle and twilightfor bfn - was there someone else too? It's the pits. It will happen, just a question of when.

spam the hospital shou!d have apologised long ago, that's shocking XXX

Welcome new people!e sorry you find yourselves here.

brummie thats really not very helpful of the mw. The wait for the nuchal is dreadful - I was in an absolute state, sobbing wreck at the appointment. I think you just have to remind yourself that the vast majority of babies are chromosomally normal. Many, many women your age (38/9?) and older have healthy babies. Just focus on getting through to the scan/nuchal, day by day. Am hand holding with both hands (sounds a bit suffocating but you know what I mean!) X

march how's it going....?

mrsd wow only 2 weeks to scan..it does seem to be that the further on you go, the more the worry is somehow - I am back to daily panics already. Maybe after 20 weeks it starts to improve?

Sorry to those I missed, struggling to keep up..

Huge hugs to everyone struggling tonight - it breaks my heart to hear so much pain and stress and anxiety from such strong women. I wish I could wave a wand to make it go away, or to let you peep ahead to your happy ending so you know it is coming.

sasha surely it's too early to feel anything ectopic (didn't feel mine until several weeks in), perhaps it is implantation or delayed ovulation (if your body tried but didn't quite make it) or something elsewhere in your innards...? (Windy City here, lots of extra tummy pains usually followed by epic farts ) brummie that was not a helpful midwife. Humph. You know you've got lots of options for tests at scan, bloods, harmony. Certainly no need to panic.
onestep so horrid to argue with DH. You hide away as long as you need to. I don't think most men understand how lonely RMC is, or how warm and loving this thread is.

Welcome to the newbies, sorry to hear of your tough journeys and gen for being in limbo.

minnie and allthrreis fabulous news, yay!