Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 27 - Tests, Treatments and Trying Again

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Tea, hugs, a wealth of collective knowledge and lots of hand holding as we try again. This thread moves like lightning so hold on to your hats!
Previous thread
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/2404797-Recurrent-Miscarriage-Support-Thread-26-tests-treatment-and-trying-again

Just dipping in v quickly as packing for our campig trip this weekend ....

.... brummie - think we are very similar age and my age related background risk was something like 1:150, not 1:54, so not sure what your midwife is on about. x

Ps. Yay for bfps ladies. x

I am addicted to this thread, it really stops me feeling so alone and has really helped me feel support and understanding where sadly my own friends just don't the same. They are lovely but they just don't understand like all you women here. There just isn't support out there like on here at all. I'm so glad I've found you all xx

You dropped off my list (actually you were my list!), so I thought I'd better pop in and say hello. I've been lurking and skim reading mostly...

Just wanted to whisper my congratulations to March, Flen, Minnie and anyone else I've missed out on. So completely rooting for your little beans and anemones!

I really have had to step back from the thread as my mental health was taking a bashing and I found myself worrying about everyone here so much! I'm doing a bit better at the moment, it is still tough at times, but my GP is very supportive.

Bertie is now nearly 19 weeks, can you believe it? He is doing really well and just seems to be a regular baby.

If it's ok I will still lurk a bit. I think of you all so much. I wouldn't have Bertie without this thread...

Lots of love x

Brummie... but... we're young aren't we?!! I'm surprised by those stats but I'm also an occasional gambler and I'd take those odds.

Barking, you did make me laugh! Although I had to think about the sample too. But possibility of BFP without having to rely on a man to DTD sounds perfect to me!

Sasha, I also had a very sharp pain around same time as you a couple of months ago. And did wonder about ectopic but with hindsight think it may have been cyst/wind!

tanny was just thinking about you! Glad to hear you're doing a bit better. And 19 weeks, where does the time go?!

And congrats Allthereis.

Freckle, I hear ya. Disappointing. Before Coventry if we DTD on CD13 I usually got a BFP. But that didn't end well the last four times did it... So maybe it taking longer is a blessing in disguise.

Brummie, try not to worry about what your mw said. Sounds like she was trying to make you aware of the worst case scenario... maybe she's a glass half empty person... I found that most of the medical professionals I met were like that. Yes, age is a factor, but its not definitive. I'm 39, and my risk with Scott was 1:59000! Risk is not diagnosis. Hand holding xx

Brummie, feeling very ???? at your Mw. As the others have said, I don't agree with the odds she's quoted. Hope you've managed to sleep and not taken not too much notice.

Welcome to the newbies. Hope we can provide some support x

Chased up my appointment via my research nurse and at the moment I'm on the list but not at a stage when they give you a date . She's promised to chase at the end of August, so will need to be patient for a few weeks.

Also asked and found out the sex of the last mc .Apparently it was two girls, which rules one theory I had that I couldn't carry boys. Oh we'll never mind.

My research nurse also told me that after the battle I had to get the karyotyping done (hospital policy was to never do it, at odds with nice guidelines) which I challenged and over turned. The hospital has revised its guidelines and will now automatically test after three mcs. Really pleased that I've hopefully stopped another women going through the battle I had and wouldn't have done it without the advice and guidance from the lovely ladies on here x

Brummie that midwife was talking bollocks.

Anyway I did my harmony at 10w and got quite a thorough scan, better than the NHS one so liked it for peace of mind

girlie, So glad that you've managed to get a policy changed. That's amazing! Just sorry that it had to come under such difficult circumstances though. Big hugs x

onestep, sorry you had an argument with your dh. Mc puts such a huge pressure on relationships and i do think it's completely different for them, not least because it's not happening to their bodies. Hope you work it out soon

tanny, lovely to hear from you. Glad your gp is being supportive and that you are getting the help you need. Can't believe how big bertie is getting! Lurk as much or as little as you like

sasha, i know everyone is different, but fwiw, in my last 3 pgs at least, pink tinged cm on day 7/8/9 and stabby ovary pain in one or both sides has meant implantation. I've done a lot of research because of worrying about the same and everything I've read suggests that you would not feel am ectopic at this stage. The onset is normally 6 to 8 weeks i think. Fingers crossed it means implantation for you too.

Emerald, this thread is my addiction too. Definitely keeping me sane!

Re. The downs risk. My understanding is you start from the risk factor for your age, ie 1:54 and then it is adjusted up or down once other factors are brought in. Ie nuchal fold measurement, hcg to Papp-a amounts etc etc. So she wasn't wrong in what she said, but given your history and your anxiety levels I think she was unhelpful.

I keep telling my consultant that this baby will have Downs because of my age and previous history and she keeps telling me that lots of Downs babies are born to younger Mums too and down-playing my risk as though I'm a spring chicken. So it really depends on who you talk to and IME midwives in booking in appointments are always negative once your past 35.

No more congrats for me, my test is negative this morning. Just a waiting game now.

Big hug allrhereis thinking of you xxx

Well done girlie on getting that policy overturned that's amazing and really makes it so much better for other women.

Sorry allthereis on your bfn hopefully next month is the month

Oh gosh allthereis, I'm so sorry to hear that . It's heartbreaking when you've started to hope it might work out. Take care of yourself over the next few days and keep talking to us (if it helps)

Thanks march but I'll probably go into hiding for a while. Feeling in a dark, dark place right now. Terrified and so, so sad. I was convinced this was the one.

girlie that is an amazing achievement to change a policy, what a really wonderful thing to have done.

baking lovely to hear from you, you know we are always here when you need and lurk as much as you want. Glad to hear you are managing and Bertie is ok.

sasha sorry you are beset with worries, it is so easy for anxieties to take hold when you've been through so much. I echo what everyone else has said, sounds more like implantation or something else happening.

Sorry to those of you who had a difficult night, it takes its toll.

march how are you doing?

Do whatever feels right allthereis. We are here if and when you want to talk xxx

I'm doing ok flen thanks. No more spotting since i started the prog but lots of cramping which is scaring the shit out of me. Got 2-3 on digi at 4.1 so that helped calm me a bit. Got to chase up scan date today. Just hope i make it that far.

Sorry I haven't been around much. If I'm honest I was struggling a bit with the bfps on here and that made me feel like a horrible person because it does make me happy to see them on here. I then managed to log myself out and couldn't remember my login details!

So I've missed loads but will try to remember a few things.
march so happy to see your bfp, keeping fingers crossed it goes well
flen so glad you had a good scan
brummie so close to 12 weeks definitely time to concentrate on being a pg woman rather than someone who has had miscarriages
girlie that's great news that you've helped to change their rules
barking best of luck for the fet I did laugh at your dh anecdotes:)
baking glad to hear faith is still doing well
tanny where did those weeks go!

Sorry for the bfns and good luck to those that have just had bfps, good luck to twws and sorry to those newbies. Apologies to all those I've missed!

I also got bfn today at 12dpo, I had got hopes up as my temps have stayed high but no doubt will start to fall over the weekend. I'm 4 months post Coventry so not taken progesterone this month. We're looking into getting hysteroscopy done privately rather than wait on nhs so may get that done next month just waiting for another clinic to get back to me.

Emerald I was 18 weeks when we lost Jack, he was born 2nd May this year.

Thanks to Minnie baking and bootles and anyone I have missed.

Brummie I agree with others that your mw is being insensitive, and as someone else said, even if your risk is 1:54 there is a 53:54 chance of not having downs.

March we did manage to locate him and were able to have a funeral for him but they had 'lost' information of his whereabouts and had to look for him. The funeral director told me this as they weren't able to collect him as he wasn't in the mortuary. The hospital probably are hoping I didn't know.

So sorry to hear your bfn Allthereis

march lots of cramping here too, it's so scary isn't it? Digi test sounds positive, hope you get your scan sorted soon.

flower I completely get that, I had a very similar feeling last month. Sorry to hear it's looking like a BFN this month, it's just so disheartening. I think whatever you can do to make you feel a bit more in charge of what's going on is a good thing. Hugs.

Just wanted to clarify, I wasn't saying 1:54 is a gamble. Maybe in terms of a fairly rare thing like Downs syndrome that doesn't count as lowest risk. But in terms of the likelihood of an event happening in general, it's a fairly low risk. I'd take odds of 1:54 as being a safe bet.

In any other area of health, I'm sure that level of risk would be a good thing. Our chances of getting cancer, dementia or heart disease are much (much much) higher, I'm sure. So do find it odd that a medical professional would make that sound like a big risk.

Look at out this way Brummie, if your boss told you you had a less than 2% chance of getting a pay rise it'd seem pretty hopeless!

Flower, come and join the rest of us who are out on the benches until next month (imagining us having a Pimms, brie and paté picnic).

Although 12dpo might still be early to test?