Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 25 - tests, treatment and trying again

[Marchgirl]

Tea, hugs, a wealth of collective knowledge and lots of hand holding as we try again. This thread moves like lightning so hold on to your hats!
Previous thread here

twilight did you get on ok yesterday?

Blimey I've only been away for a day and look at the speed of the thread!!!

Milan was good - blisteringly hot and I'm exhausted now. Glad I went but - get the pom poms out - work travel is done!!!!!! Yay! Relieved I'm not going to Brussels. I'm feeling it today after tearing round Milan in 32 degree heat.

Anyway my quick stats

Me 38, DP 45 (46 in 2 weeks !) and TTC #1
3 x mc's in May 14 @ 5 wks, August 14 @ 9 weeks and December 15 @ 9 wks

Had 4 month break for testing, all clear, went to Coventry and all clear there plus endometrial scratch then had hysteroscopy / another scratch through my fab consultant Mr Watts at Worcestershire Royal

Am now pregnant again - 4th sodding attempt. Currently 5+4.

Am on progesterone - 2 x 400mg Sebs but started with 2 x 200mg from 7 dpo as per Coventry protocol switching to 400 on BFP

Got 6 week scan this Friday so can be prescribed clexane injections

That's me!! Can't believe I am here again.

Barking thinking of you and your Mum & Dad.

Tanny how is home now? Hope you are doing ok x

Falling behind so fast!

mrsd sorry meant to reply...I completely understand your fear about stopping meds, but at 12+6 your placenta has well and truly taken over. Take a deep breath, you are doing so well!

march I am loving the sound of your spreadsheets. I need more spreadsheets in my life...

Minnie glad your appointment went well

Re all the progesterone comments, I am on 200mg twice a day (started 7dpo)

bythesea I'm actually 7+3 today, how could I have got that wrong?! And yes, time is like treacle here.

girlie tough first day back, well done.

Morgan not insane, covering all the bases!

cloud hope you get the heparin...why does it always have to be such a battle? Did you decide against the harmony test in the end?

Ah biscuits that sounds stressful! No harm done by the sounds of it. Hope things are starting to get sorted with dp.

barking I spotted constantly from the scratch, after AF and well into the next cycle, and O was later. Af about tbe same i tnink. I think it effects people differently, but definitely seems to change things for a cycle. Still thinking of you and your Dad.

bootles I will decide about the Harmony test when I get the results from the combined screening. I realise that the risk will be high due to my age, but if I know that my Papp-A and beta-HcG are OK, then that'll reassure me already quite a lot! Fortunately, you can do the Harmony test at any stage after 10 weeks, so there is no rush.

I have realised that for now, I feel comparatively calm - long may it last. Having made it past the 8 and 10 week milestone scans has done wonders for my anxiety. Of course it could all still go tits up like last time, but having gotten this far now should really increase my chances (at least that's what I am telling myself).
And I can't help myself starting to hope and plan, dangerous grounds... When I would go on mat leave and for how long, what holidays we can take when, what things to do with the baby etc. Struggling to stay away from the names... Trying not to get attached, but it's hard. DH is much better at this than me! Sometimes I wish I could just hibernate for the next 6 months!
Sorry for rambling away...

Cloud I'm the same love, I'm starting to get attached and it's not even 6 weeks yet. Sigh...

Well done Girlie for first day back, I remember those days all too well

This time I've made a decision to just get attached. Last time I ignored my stomach totally, wouldn't let DP touch it, wouldn't talk about it and it still ended up badly. So this time I'm going to will it to stay put by begging it daily and talking to it. I know it's insane but I've hot nothing to lose really.

Just used a digi, again in Tesco bog (I'm so classy) and it's saying 2-3 at 14dpo. It's strong so that's one thing to cling to.

cloud I think hoping and planning is allowed. I'm not joining my month antenatal group on MN as I've had to leave so many of them now it's beyond painful. Particularly when you see then continue on in Active Threads with all the twee title changes. Maybe I will if I get to 20 weeks.

sebs You need to stop testing, that way madness lies Today, you are pregnant!

I don't think that I will join the 'regular' December antenatal thread. I keep reading it, but I can't cope with the naivety. I think if I start posting there, I would constantly say doom & gloom things and be really pessimistic. Which is not fair to them, really. I have joined the preg after mc thread and will stick around and moan here, if people let me

cloud I feel completely the same about the antenatal threads! Glad you're feeling pretty calm considering.

Of course you become attached. So hard to cope with those emotions!

Cloud, you're doing so well!

Brummie you too lovely, I found I wanted to protect myself emotionally, but it's impossible!

Thanks for asking after me. We're doing ok. Bertie is a strapping 13 week old huge baby. He has his first jabs tomorrow, and DS2 has his pre school ones too. I'm dreading it!

DH and I are rubbing along. Every now and then he drives me bonkers...

I still get the fear. Last night I woke up to find Bertie was really snuffly next to me and then felt awful because I'd rolled away from him so hadn't been properly co sleeping. I panicked that I had just narrowly avoided cot death. Crazy thoughts. I'm fine today, but a bit distracted.
It's taken me about an hour to write this much!

Anyone heard from Jady?

Well I hate the February ante-natal thread. Absolutely hate it and am going to come off it.

There is one lady on there who is convinced that she is going to miscarry. She's not had 1, but days it doesn't feel right. She keeps testing on the cb digi and a few people are kindly saying to her "maybe you should step away from tests"

Anyway she's talked about trying to blag a scan - which I find quite shocking - she's getting stressed and is running around like a headless chicken waiting to "lose her baby"

I've gritted my teeth and tried to be supportive but there is another poster who has been quite rude to her and pretty much this morning told her to get a grip which I felt was a bit harsh.

Anyway this same poster has just said "I'm fucking sick of reading about miscarriage"

Now I have mentioned my mc's - more to give reassurance to the other poster - in that testing didn't mean much, she wasn't bleeding etc.

So I feel like that comment has been partly directed at me and actually I found it really quite offensive and upsetting.

I feel like I'm the one with the "cooties" in the playground that no one wants to play with because I might sully their perfect ideals, and remind them that things go tragically wrong

I don't feel welcome and I don't feel like I belong.

This thread is really the only one I feel at home, but I know that people are struggling on here.

That comment has really really upset me. I feel like I've been excluded because I've had mc's.

Brummie, I'm sure it wasn't directed at you, and, all that poster has done is shown what a horrible, unsympathetic (possibly scared) person she is. The other lady sounds like she's desperate for someone to tell her it will be OK (which, sadly, we know can't be guaranteed, however small the odd really are for the majority of people; we're in the unlucky 1%, after all).
Try not to feel bad, these are their issues, not yours. But perhaps stay away from the thread for your own piece of mind.
Personally, I couldn't face the normal antenatal threads, but, much later on in my pg, I enjoyed Nct with RL people who can do face to face empathy, which can sometimes be lost in email/text. Its a very personal thing, though. Hugs to you. xx

Hey Tanny. I'm here mainly lurking sorry. Been a little withdrawn since my first EDD last Fri. Emotions yoyo'ing between crying at the TV and getting really angry over nothing. Resulting in me not having much to say, minds blank. Hoping scan Thu will cheer me up some.

My stats
Me 37, DP 46
MC1 Oct 14, natural @ 6 weeks
MC2 Jan 15, ERPC after seeing hb measuring 6+1.
Tested normal for blood clotting issues
Tested normal for thyroid antibodies (TABLET Trial)
Tested high for uNK cell density.
Currently 9+3 on Coventry treatment plan heparin, progesterone, prednisilone.
Plus midwife has put me on 5mg folic acid and 75mg aspirin once heparin stopped.

Know what you mean about taking forever to write something. Taken ages to write this too. Glad you and Bertie are well, bound to get the fear from time to time. Good luck with the jabs.

Congrats Sebs! Fantastic news. Glad you got some prog sorted.

cloud I've only used three tests! One to get my original result, the second because I couldn't quite believe the first and a digi That's hugely restrained for me!!

Brummie I suspect you are just saying stuff that the lucky naive folks don't want to believe could happen. It scares them so it's easier to pretend people who have had miscarriages are just freaks of nature. I was fortunate enough to go into my sons pregnancy thinking id get a baby at the end and got one. That seems incredulous to me now but I was one of those people we now want to shout at and shake.

My Consultant's secretary rang me back today and said I am to take 75mg of aspirin from 7 weeks and that seemed to be it. No extra scans or anything, really makes me feel special . I have asked if she would be prepared to prescribe me Cylogest and they are going to get back to me. I can guess the answer already though.

march - thanks for the new thread. Can't believe am so behind already!

So stats: me 38, dh 37, ttc #1 since jan 14.
Mmc1 Apr 14 at 11 wks (fetus 7) erpc after incomplete natural.
Mmc2 July 14 at 8 weeks, bo, erpc
Mmc3 Jan 15 at 8 weeks (hb seen at 7 but measuring behind) erpc - trisomy 22
Mc4 Apr 15 at 5 wks natural
Currently 9+2, with hb seen at 7+5 and baby having caught up from being a week behind to a couple of days. On progesterone (2x400), pred and aspirin. Next scan on Friday and have completely dissociated from the whole process. Would love to feel some sense of attachment as others have mentioned, but just feel I can't, as I am so sure it will go wrong again. Just feeling pretty numb about it all.

Sorry - am too behind to reply to all, but just to say sebs - congrats on your bfp. That was a sneaky one . Here's to an uneventful next 8 months!

And barking - sorry you are still so concerned about your dad. Hoping the hospital start stepping up a bit in terms of the assessing the symptoms you have noticed.

hugs to all. x

That there Sebs is individual care. Ffs. I feel your complete frustration.

Brummie I had a massive fall out with my AN thread over a count the kicks ad. Was all a bit silly but I felt like you, that any time I mentioned mc I was bringing them down off their furry fucking unicorns of pregnancy happiness. I joined Tiny 's AN post mc thread and the main pg after mc thread and stayed here. On the dark side. Where I belong.

Jady sorry you're going through a shitty time of it. EDDs are rubbish. We know it. We're here when you need us. Just glad you're ok. Starting to cross fingers for Thurs x

Quick update:

Went to Coventry - good experience, very interesting, liked Prof B, scratch was fine (though used the gas and air that was available enthusiastically!). In touch with new work. Told them - they seem supportive. Start early July.

Sebs - I'm now a big fan of the getting attached approach. I was during my last pregnancy and even though it didn't work out I felt better for it.

Brummie - I don't think general ante-natal threads are good places for us sadly. I even found some of the people on the posifrickintivity pg after MC thread really irked me last time I was on there (none of you lot!). I'm not proud of that - it's just the way of it. You can post here as much as needed - were all in it together whatever stage we're at.

Blimey, other threads sounf AWFUL! Thank-god i discovered you lot and havn't been shopping on the rest of the site!!!! Makes me glad for what i've got!!

twilight - great news that new work supportive. Exciting that you have a new start in July. x

Brummie - had a look at the thread(nosy). I think Purdie's frustrations was exclusively aimed at Charlotte. Think of what she said about people who have been through recurrent mc on the thread handling it with dignity - that's your bit

Thanks Tanny. I feel like im going mad so thanks for making me feel less crazy. I thought after 3 miscarriages the health professionals tried a bit harder to help, but nope, still disinterested as ever.

Hi all, just popping by briefly to update...

Me 36, OH 35. TTC number 1...
MC1 Dec 2007 at 13 weeks, mmc gestation 7 weeks, D&C.
MC2 Apr 2014 at 11 weeks
MC3 Oct 2014 at 9.5 weeks, mmc gestation 6.4 weeks, D&C

All tests normal, uNK normal, taking progesterone from next BFP and heparin from location scan as per Coventry.

brummie that cooties feeling is EXACTLY what I got from my sister. Horrible.

barking sending you hugs.

Ouch brummie - just had a look at that other thread. Stick with us hun!