Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 25 - tests, treatment and trying again

[Marchgirl]

Tea, hugs, a wealth of collective knowledge and lots of hand holding as we try again. This thread moves like lightning so hold on to your hats!
Previous thread here

Well I've just had a shock phone call from Consultant's secretary saying she wants me to come in next Thursday to see her to discuss medications

Do you think it might be an idea to take along the Coventry protocol letter with me? (not that I have one but I'm hoping I could have a copy of one from someone if it's a standard protocol). I imagine she is probably somewhere rolling her eyes furiously but I think it would help if I had something in my hand.

Aah my little rmc gang!!!

I've had a couple of emails from posters on my thread saying how shocked they were by the other poster and that they were really sorry I was leaving.

I also felt, as crazy as Charlotte was being, Purdie in effect was bullying her and that also made me feel very uncomfortable too.

Nah, I know where my little gang are. AN threads aren't for me. Miscarriages changes the way you look at pregnancy and I was already starting to feel like I was different and didn't fit in and today was the final straw

You lot make me laugh though, straight on the thread to have a nose. Good on ya, I'd have done exactly the same

sebs am very interested to hear what response you get from CRGW. Do keep us updated. Hope the summons to your Consultant ext week isn't like a trip to the headmistress and that you actually get somewhere!

snoopy re wobenzym: I've been taking it for a month now and the only thing I noticed last month is my ovulation pain was a lot better - very noticeably so. AF definitely heavier as well but that could be as a result of the scratch at Coventry. Let me know how you get on.

Pop CRGW have been very helpful and think they will be able to write me a private script for £30. The lady I've been communicating with is checking with the consultant tomorrow.

I don't know whether to just starting using the pessaries once I get them (the supply Tanny is kindly sending me). Or wait until I talk to the consultant. 9 days feels like a lifetime to wait when I feel like I should be propping the pregnancy up as soon as I can. If I were bleeding I would just go ahead once I get them, but at the moment everything is ticking along, albeit with zero symptoms.

Ooooo Brummie, i just found that other thread and had a read. Dear me, i think 'charlotte' was a real mess (sorry 'charlotte' if you ever read this!) She just seemed to ignite 'purdie' - (i actually did a sharp intake if breath aloud) who may be quite hormonal, being pg and all. However, the vultures soon swooped down on the poor old wingebag! Oh dear. For what it's worth i really infe that "fucking sick of hearing about mc" was actually aimed at charlotte, and the comments on tenacity and dignity were about you my love (and i'm really quite good at 'reading between the lines!) Quite a little fan club there too! Xxx

sebs, that's great news that the consultant will see you next week to discuss medication. I'd be happy to email my treatment plan letter to you so you can take an example with you, although as I was high nk that part might not apply to you. If you want it, just pm me your email and I'll send it through. I have to say I'd be tempted to take the prog asap add she's not going to know (unless she takes blood to treat your levels) but maybe that's a bit naughty!

Sebs if it helps at all, I was given progesterone to self medicate with by a consultant who would happily throw anything at me to get me out of the door!

All posted today. I feel like an internet drugs baron!

Going to have to have a nosey at this other thread brummie!

Brummie I haven't looked on but I find the natal threads far too stressful. Most women just don't understand what we have been through. You stick with us and we'll look after you!

This thread moves so fast that I can't keep up but waving hi to all.

I have my growth scan tomorrow and then DH goes into hospital for surgery to his calf on Thursday. Feels like a stressful time but hopefully all will be ok and our kitten will be here soon.

OMG brummie I'm on the sofa having a lazy afternoon under the duvet after ERPC today and I've just had a right old nosey at the thread - it is flippin awful!!

You are so right to leave and stay here in this safe place. Frightening.

It sounds like they are gutted you've left, probably because you were the voice of reason.

I'm actually raging about it. Which may be an adrenalin rush after the anaesthetic. Can't help thinking it's all a bit "Hey don't go! We need some justified tenacious RMC buddies here - I'm in AWE of them, just as long as they don't mention anything bad happening, they are just so welcome and so ..dignified!!".

I think this is helping me move on to the "angry" stage of mc. It's so much more fun than bargaining, depression and acceptance.

I also feel for poor Charlotte who is clearly v anxious and so frazzled that nothing is going to pacify her. She is right to defend her feelings as substantiated.

I think purdie's brutal reaction masks her own anxiety problem. As someone who professes to be a Christian and welcomes other "sisters in Christ" to the thread I think it would be a good thing for her to ask Christ to help her find some patience and grace on her daily path.

Ahh these pain killers are kicking in nicely.

Thank you so much for supporting me to choose the D&C rather than natural mc as I've done before. I found it so much easier and feel fine and so relieved and happy to be able to move on now .

Pmsl Tanny, it's ridiculous that we have to go to these lengths!!! Thank you, let me know your postage costs and I'll PayPal them straight away xxxx

March that's exactly what I thought. If i do take them and try and pretend I haven't you can be guaranteed she will say 'let's do a test to see what you're levels are and then decide'.
Thank you for the offer of the letter. Ideally I could go with a copy of one that just lists heparin and progesterone but maybe I could edit the steroid bit out in photoshop?

If ever this is a lesson to just go to Coventry and get your medication sorted before TTC after recurrent MC then I am a walking example of stupidity and desperation.

Catlover holding hand for tomorrow. I know my bump kept coming up small and DS was a good size do hopefully kitten is well tucked in.

Annie your comments re. the February thread has just made me chuckle. You are so right about how 'amazing and dignified' we are as long as we keep our mouths shut about our experiences.

Massive hugs and I'm so sorry you've had to have your ERPC today. I know it was the right decision for me also after having two natural early MCs, I just couldn't cope with seeing the remains, it was too upsetting to contemplate.

That thread! Purdie is a character and a half. She reminds me of someone cloud encountered on another thread. Really bullying. Christian my arse.

I expect others will also get sick of her soon...

Do love a good nosey...

Oh Annie big hugs, bless you. I absolutely agree with you about ERPC. If I ever had to sadly make a decision I would not hesitate to choose ERPC. Hope you are recovering well. Although I have a vision of you getting outraged on the sofa which has made me laugh. Take it easy though

Cat really hoping all goes ok with your growth scan and fingers crossed for DH and his surgery.

Well Purdie has said her comment was directed at Charlotte and not me. However someone should never say what she said. It did really upset me. Even if it wasn't directed at me.

Someone else has said they agree with her and that "some really distressing things have been written on this thread and maybe it should be more lighthearted"

So that set me off again. Unfortunately to me and other people, pregnancy will never be lighthearted

Maybe I'm just too sensitive. Yep me who normally wades in with Monten to have an argument!

Ah Monten we miss you chicken, hope you are having a fabulous honeymoon!!!

I love the fact Tanny that everyone piled on to the thread to have a good old nose!!

That's my girls!!!

Best of luck for the growth scan tomorrow cat.

annie - glad erpc went well. Take it easy over the next few days.

Omg! Read more of that thread on train home. Knives are out for the poor girl who was worried about mc! Definitely not joining any of those threads!!!

I love a good nose. Just been through the whole thing as earlier had only read the last couple of posts. Very tense over there - quite a few people with 'histories' though so perhaps it's no wonder. I wonder if any of them are nosing over here

Thanks for the earlier message Sun - I am really looking forward to a change.

Annie - I hadn't thought of it like that (you're terribly dignified as long as you keep it to yourself )- but it's so true. Hope you're ok.

Just tried to catch up quickly on the thread, trying not to let things swamp my brain too much but trying to stay in the loop a little.

Congrats on the arrival of Beth Longest.

Congrats on BFP sebsmummy.

Fingers crossed for scan on Friday Brummie.

Think those were the key highlights but sorry if have missed anything else. Good luck to those in the 2ww and to anyone with scans coming up.

So my third and final baby group friend is now pregnant. She messaged me to say she hoped it didn't cause me pain. Lovely of her but I'm now sat here crying. I don't know why this bothers me so much. Well I do because if ever ds plays with his friends from now on they'll all be pregnant and I know they'll want to talk about it but won't want to because of me. So I'll be the big black cloud in the room or we won't go and ds won't get to see his friends. I actually feel like I've been punched in the chest. And I knew it was coming too so why can't I cope with it better. I'm happy for all of you so why can't I be fucking happy for them. But I just can't. And Dh isn't here so I can't even get a hug. I'm so fucking jealous it hurts. Fuck fuck fuck!

Oh Minnie big hugs xxx I know that black cloud feeling. I've had it only this afternoon.

I can't explain the happy for us, but upset when it's someone else. Maybe because we've struggled and battled and gone through such heartbreak.

I still can't look at scan pictures - upsets me too much and I can't explain why.

I'm so sorry you are so upset and that DH isn't with you. We are here for hand holding and crying - whenever you need it xx

Nice to hear from you loopy. How are you doing lovely? Hope you're getting on ok x

Hugs Minnie that is rubbish. So sorry you're the last one left in that group. All the girls at my work are a similar age to me and we all married around the same time. I watched them all have their DC1, then DC2 and some even had DC3 without me even making one baby and I hated them for it. I didn't want to be that person but I would turn green with envy whenever announcements were made and used to feel so angry. It's so hard and it's only now I'm finally having a child that I can feel less resentful towards them. I still hurt though.

Glad the ERPC wasn't too bad Annie. You've been really brave. Make sure you take time out to rest up over the next few days and eat plenty of chocolate and cake.

That thread is amazing and it seems like there are a lot of nasty bitches on there who have no heart. Let's hope they don't need sympathy and support when life kicks them in the teeth which it will.

Thanks for good luck wishes for growth scan tomorrow. I'm sure it'll be fine but I do need to get it behind me now. X

Oh minnie**! I am sooo sorry! It is so infuriating to feel these things, and we hate it about ourselves, but we really can't help it either! I'm happy for 28 year old friend who shares my due date, but green eyed monster with work friend who is also 40, had mc at 6 weeks but got pg straight after without even having a period!!!! Why her and not me???!!! The mc monster brings out the worst in us, and i can hardly understand myself even. But it might be you next month you know?! HUGS to you!!! Xxx

Minnie, that sucks. Horrible situation to face, and all the conflicting and raging emotions that come with it.
Cat, good luck with the scan, and to your dh with his op.
Sebs, maybe a piece of research from profs Quenby and Brosens would work? Pubmed, the medical research website (can't do the link on my phone), or something from their own website might be good?
Maybe in a different time women like us would have been labeled wise women (or another term of endearment beginning with a w...). We're held in awe and fear because other people don't know how they'd get through what we've gone though, and its scary (even though they would get through it if it they had to - after all, who would choose RMC?!). Except these days we don't meet in the woods, we meet on mn...