Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread - Thread 17 - Tests, treatment and trying again

[Flower29]

Information, support, hand holding, tea, sympathy and a hell of a lot of combined knowledge - all welcome as we try to make sense of the RMC roller coaster of tests, NHS admin, heart ache and (hopefully) happy endings!
Please start with a recap of your stats

Wow, feed moves fast. Struggling to keep up with you chatty ladies!

Sorry to hear so many of you are having a rough time. I too found my friends brushed my mcs and infertility under the carpet. Tried to change the subject because they couldn't handle it. Now I'm 20 weeks my pregnancy is all they want to talk about and it really hacks me off to be honest. My gfs are upset I don't want a baby shower, they can't understand how it's too sad for me with the others I've lost.

barking sending a special hug to you. Have been so sad about your bfn. Will you try ivf next? We'll all be here to listen whatever path you take. Please hang in there, you will succeed!

Welcome to the feed rollercoaster, sorry to hear all you've been through. What tests have you had? Have you considered looking into the Coventry protocol? Ladies on here have had great results with it and it may help you get some answers. Glad to hear you have a dd, she'll keep you going I'm sure!

tanny yey to symptoms! Hope the little en doesn't make you wait too long. We're all here with you so post any time.

Sorry to tag on with a 'me post' but I'm 20 weeks tomorrow and cannot believe it. Six full years after we started trying for dc1 with two definite mcs, one suspected early mc and boat loads of failed fertility treatments. It's my scan on Monday and I just hope and pray that he/she is doing ok in there. I'm far too attached for my own good!

Hugs to march, chemical pregnancies are so cruel . Hope you're taking a restful day at home.

march so sorry to hear this. Afraid I can't help with progesterone, I am so sad you had hope and then so quickly confusion and sad things happening
flen good work on managing to get a spinach smoothie down before 8am, sounds horrendous!

Oh march I'm sorry. Such a blow. I'm planning to go to Coventry. There doesn't seem to be a wait, except for you to get to the right place in your cycle.

Welcome rollercoaster. Sounds like you have had a rough ride.

March oh no!!! I am truly gutted for you. I had a chm pg for my first mc and it is utterly rubbish and cruel. I felt my body was playing tricks on me and I couldn't trust it. Please take care of yourself. Are you sure your dsis wouldn't be supportive if she knew?

This thread has been pants for luck so far. I am really hoping it turns around soon. Looks like it might with cat's scan. Yeay! For me it has been a turning point in my anxiety/excitement crossover. Still anxious but slightly more excited than scared now. Will you find out the sex?

I know what you mean about the conflicting feelings though. It would be my edd for mc3 on Sat (Valentine's day). A friend of mine is due on Sun and getting impatient. She confessed to being jealous of another friend who has just given birth. I know she has had a difficult pregnancy but still. I know she probably thinks that now I am pregnant there is nothing to be jealous of, and it's true that this week is nowhere near as difficult as it would have been otherwise but I suppose I am jealous of that lost innocence as well as sad about lost babies. Sorry, this probably sounds like self indulgent twaddle to those still ttc but I wanted to say I understand.

And then Tanny. Wow, term. You have really made it. Can't wait for the next instalment!

Welcome rollercoaster. So sorry for what you have been through and for the limbo you are in now. Keeping everything firmly crossed for a happy scan.

Still thinking of you Baking. Have you had any answers from the mri?

Sorry I won't namecheck everyone... this moves on sooo fast!

I am here bumbling along, not as far as tanny but I am 31+4 today (hooray)

I had a chemical after my DD so that would have been MC4 of a total of 6, but somehow I never end up counting that one and usually say 5 mcs in total... don't know why... I guess as it was the first after DD I hoped it was a good early natural selection and my body had finally learnt what to do - and hence my 'official' MC4 hit me so damn hard!

Lots of love to baking and hope Faith will start improving soon once someone really checks her meds...

march, tiny - I also take the line that a cp (had one between mc 2 and 3) is my body doing its job and saving me from a full blown mc later on, and don't count it in the official mc tally. Doesn't make it any easier to deal with though and is still a fucking body blow. Ttc is just such a ridiculous process. Sigh.

Thank you for your replies - it means a lot to talk to others who understand.

Hi Catlover - I am under a consultant in North Herts NHS and have lost track of the tests! But came back positive for Antiphospholipid antibodies (I called it ALS - but this is probably wrong!!) So, hence the Asprin and the Heparin. I have Coeliac Disease, which is a problem with the autoimmune system - so hence the Prednisolone to suppress my immune system. I think the progesterone is to help develop a thicker, better uterus lining. Apparently the lining does not develop as well each cycle with age - my periods last a day normally!

Hi March - Sorry to hear about the chemical pregnancy. HPTs are a blessing and a curse at the same time aren't they. Fingers crossed for another BFP soon. I fell the next cycle three times in a row - was pregnant last September, mc in October - BFP in November, mc over xmas - and then another BFP in January!

Hi Booties - I was 41 when i had my daughter. She was a total unplanned surprise!! We hadn't really ever talked about having children, thought I was too old anyway!! The system treated me like i was ancient throughout the whole pregnancy then!! But it was a perfect pregnancy and perfect labour resulting in a perfect little girl! I am now 44 and soon to be 45 in April. Time just keeps ticking by!!

Hi Sun - I know - statics are just crap! They can say anything you want them to say!! It was a EPU consultant that showed me a report with all these dismal stats. I may have it slightly wrong, but it was definitely high nineties once you are over 45 years of age. This was also crap, because I was (and still am, just) only 44 (that year makes all the difference psychologically!!!)

Anyway, thank you everyone for being so welcoming. I feel so much better already just for talking. Thank you. xx

March- big hugs x

Wow tiny you're almost there! Hope you're all prepared now

Thanks for understanding longest, like you say I think my 20 wk scan will be a turning point and I'll feel better when it's behind me unless the worst has happened
Yes we want to find out what we're having. Did you find out what you're having? When's your due date?

Hugs roller, you've been a lot. Hope your treatment programme is successful next time. How old are you? There is a strong belief on this feed that age should not put us off trying. Lots of ladies have babies in their 40 these days including plenty on this feed, please do not give up!

baking thinking of you and family, hope Faith is ok.

Nearly prepared... need to find DD's old stuff to wash and count... but did buy one new pack of vests and sleepsuits for newbie so she doesn't end up just wearing sister's overgrown stuff poor thing...

Still thinking once she is out, to get something like a picture to commemorate our family, with a nod to the 5 miscarriages...

cat I did, yes. We are having another girl, due 30 May. Am 24 weeks now.

Yes, my chm pg hit me harder later in that when I has mc2 I still believed it was bad luck, and it was only when I had mc3 that I came to a crashing realisation that it had all been part of a pattern. I am glad I had it recorded though as the nhs has never made any distinction between them.

Exciting times tiny and longest. Looks like I need to have a boy to balance things out! Roll on Monday! X

I must be very hormonal. Just cried at the KFC advert about an adopted boy who settles in easier thanks to the fried chicken products. Hahaha!

tears are a good sign... i even cried at the trailer for the theory of everything, havent even seen the film yet

march I am so sorry it's looking like a CP. Really gutting. I had an unsuccessful pregnancy on progesterone and was told to stop it as soon as a scan confirmed the pregnancy had ended, to allow a bleed to happen. If you've had positives followed by a negative and you are sure it's bad news I would stop taking it. Tell your sister, lovely, you can't try to fake it through the weekend.

Welcome roller and adding my weight to the general consensus that I've never heard stats as gloomy as that. The way I heard it was it's only about a third of women who can continue to conceive between 40-45 and the MC rate creeps up to about 50%. Not great, it's true, but I think they are used to fob off us older ladies too often. Someone on the thread ( was it squiz?) was told it was due to her age in her early thirties.....

tiny I went to see it and cried all the way through. My gran died of MND so it reminded me of her suffering. Great film though.

barking I like your quote! That's about where i am at the moment, though there is a strong possibility the lion will be unleashed at some point. I'm really frustrated with the bureaucracy. Today I wasted more than half an hour at the pharmacy waiting for a pre-ordered prescription which they had lost in the 20 yds between the GP and the pharmacy. Then having phoned the GP reception at 8am to ask for a phone consult, and told them what it was about, when they phoned back the gp also had no clue (chickenpox vaccine, hardly outside their remit) so we are waiting again

March I'm so sorry if this is what is happening. I stopped the progesterone after the clinic confirmed the bfn, and previously after the scan confirmed it wasn't happening. I didn't bleed until I stopped it. Could you ask your gp to do a blood test to check hcg levels before you stop?

tiny I think a picture to commemorate the whole family is a lovely idea.

cat yes, I'm going for IVF now. Can't face a third iui as I don't have confidence it will work so it will just stretch out the process further. Got an appointment with the consultant in two weeks, should have a better idea of timings after that.

Incompetence is incredibly frustrating baking, because you just can't see a reason for it. I'm finding at work today that I'm a lot less patient with people who have wasted/are wasting my time through their incompetence. This is why I've tucked myself in the corner on my phone at lunch instead of exchanging pleasantries when I just want to scream .

So frustrated on your behalf baking. If they can't even deal with something as simple as a chickenpox vaccine then they are not doing their job.

Thanks for all your kind words everyone and thanks baking and barking for the advice on progesterone. I skipped this morning's bullet to see if it would show itself and have had a little bit of spotting already so I think that's the right thing to do.

Called the consultant to ask her about it but no reply. Not holding my breath as I'm still waiting for a response to email sent 2 and a half weeks ago and to a phone query on Monday that she said she'd call back about that day.
Tempted to continue prog till after the weekend with dsis, as I remember how horrendous I felt last month coming off it and that was without the addition of the fourth mc.
Spoke to Coventry and kerri is not in today but the other girl said at least a full cycle after mc, so this bleed and another, before I can go. She even said it might be 2, but hoping not after a cp. Sigh. More waiting.

• it was me. Told 4 mc was bad luck and age at 32. Grumble grumble. And I had a couple of years of miscarrying at that point too. It's probably a stock response post 20s. I remember being fuming as I'd spent my 20s establishing my career etc as society sort of tells you to do then 'overnight' I'm being told I've left it a bit late. Grrr.

March - I'm sorry it's looking like a chemical. I second barking's query as to whether getting bloods done at gp might be worthwhile, particularly if you're thinking about staying on it for the weekend anyway? Am irritated on your behalf about your consultant.

Barking - here's hoping that the IVF happens nice and quickly. I also love that quote.

Baking - can't believe the frustration you're being placed under. I'm slightly gobsmacked in the circumstances you're in that you don't have more consistent, available support. Do you have a community paediatric/neuro nurse or anything?

Welcome Rollercoaster though sorry for all that's happened that's brought you here.

Getting very excited about all these imminent bundles.

Welcome rollercoaster and very sorry for your losses. Sounds like you're having a horrible time at the moment. I hope your next scan shows everything's ok. But we are all here to support you whatever the outcome.
march sorry it's looking like a CP. Thinking of you I agree you should tell your sister too. I think it's too hard on yourself to pretend it's ok. I'm sure she will still come if you ask her to.
baking sorry the hospital/gps are being useless. Hope they get their act together so you don't have to put up with this on top of everything else.
Hello to everyone else!
Is anyone from Sheffield/Barnsley way out of interest?

Also love your quote barking!

March I'm so so sorry it's a cp. feel for you, getting your hopes up then dashing them

I often wonder if my first was a cp as I wasn't quite 5 weeks when I lost it but I've always counted it. I have short cycles though so I'd known for well over a week.

Tiny longest and Cat along with Tanny you are all keeping us going and positive

Baking big hugs. Can't believe how crap things are at moment. Thinking of little Faith though.

Waving to everyone else, this thread is zooming ahead!!!

Got counselling this afternoon it does help but it does mean I can't bury my head in the sand and be unreasonable

Hope everyone is ok