Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 16 - tests, treatment and trying again

[Justonemoretime]

Information, support, hand holding, tea, sympathy and a hell of a lot of combined knowledge - all welcome as we try to make sense of the RMC roller coaster of tests, NHS admin, heart ache and (hopefully) happy endings!
Please start with a recap of your stats :)

Did I say most? I really meant all.

Bootles so sorry to hear that. I know it was the next thing to find out before making plans, and that must feel so derailing. I know that you will pick yourself up from this, but at the moment it will feel too raw. Biggest hugs and hope you can find some time for yourself.

Jady I know what you mean, it is a lovely safe place to be. I've been here for nearly a year and a half and through so much in that time.

bootles that is crap. I'm so sorry. You must feel like you are floundering again when what you need is clarity so you can move forward.

tanny bet that's a milestone you never thought you'd reach. Enjoy!

Thanks everyone. One of the scary things is tbat I know I will TTC this cycle. I can't stop. I'll e-mail Coventry tomorrow and see what they say.

Hugs bootles, so sad to hear you didn't get results. It's hard enough when you can't get the information you want but to have a cold touch from the dr makes it even harder. Hope you can find the strength to try again. If other experiences on here are anything to go by the Coventry team will help you get there.

Tanny whoop to breaking up!!! Enjoy your quiet time at home, you've totally earned it

X

We're with you, whatever you do, Bootles, and we've all been there. Hope Coventry have something useful to offer x

Having dreamt about testing, I found myself poas very early but BFN. Ugh. Sometimes it feels as though having a baby is the most impossible dream, that it will just never ever happen.

Oh. I'm sorry flen. But you're still early aren't you? Don't give up hope on this month yet. Maybe you ov a bit late than you thought or the implantation happened later

Sorry Flen, there's still time though. My first BFP was in the evening 31 days after period (although was faint in the morning) and my cycle was a fairly short 25 days. There's still hope.

My cycle this month is a bit potty, don't think I ovukated til day 17/18, so not really sure of when AF is due (my app is telling me Tues, but in the usual scheme of things it would be tomorrow). So you're right march and jady, slim chance. Used a Clearblue digital, so not possible to see faint lines, but usually they are fairly sensitive I think. I find it hard, all the maybes though. And there are so many maybes in this process.

It is frustrating all this waiting. I keep doing OPKs in the hope of getting some idea to guess when 1st AF post ERPC might arrive. But really need to save them until after AF. Fingers crossed for a BFP in the next few days for you Flen

Flen, sorry to hear that. Maybe you have tested too early? It's a blow whenever you get a BFN, though. I remember those return to the bin and squint at the test under the lights (I even dismantled one once to see if the reflection off the perspex-y window was making the line difficult to see.. . It's a special kind on insanity... this may resonate...

Bootles, so sorry that you didn't get any answers, its a real blow. Look after yourself and I hope that you do find some comfort and a way forward. I know that you will come though this, but I also know how dark those days can be. We all wish, I am sure, that we could wave a magic wand to lessen the pain you're going through. ((Hugs))

I'm getting scanxiety on two fronts at the moment. First, for my 20 week scan on Tuesday. My latest irrationality is that baby is too small (due to my thinking bump hasn't 'popped' yet). There is an obvious bump, but I keep worrying its not the 'right' size... (rationally, I am sure it's fine, baby is moving every day etc. but still... ). I also have a historical dodgy armpit lump (been scanned and checked many times; I've had it for years and it's just a bit of extra breast tissue; I am what you might call 'buxom'...) but now that I'm pg my boobs are going for world domination and the lump is getting quite tender, so I need to go to the breast clinic to have it assessed. I'm 99% sure it will be fine, but what if its not?! Its one of those middle of the night worries; that I will need some kind of treatment that will affect or hurt the baby. Could do without the extra worry.

Tanny, I hope you are being very serene and 'Mother Earth' as you wait for mini Tanny to arrive? Enjoy! :)

bootles - hugs. That is so crap not to get a result, especially when you had the erpc to get the best chance of one. And crap that you had to chase them to be told 'no result' - surely they knew this before you called. Take care of youself and hopefully coventry can help you with a course of action.

flen - bfns are such a blow aren't they. Fingers crossed it's just too early - sounds as though it could be if you ov 17/18.

just - that's all you need at the moment - an extra worry to add in top of everything else. Although it sounds like it will be fine, you are doing exactly the right thing getting it checked to make sure all is ok. Really hoping you can get an appointment quickly so that you can have it confirmed that everything is fine and just enjoy the rest of your pregnancy.
x

Oh Bootles massive hug. That's crap. I'm so sorry. I know what you mean about wanting to know the gender. Before all "this" I was adamant that I wanted it to be a surprise as our first .

Now I want to know for the next one as I feel the need to make it real - and if we were to lose again we can of course name him / her.

Sorry for radio silence last night - needed to get away with DP and get pissed quite frankly. Which we did and DTD when got home and DP struggled with ending his bit at the right time shall we say

Feel guilty and anxious and ridiculous now because we've been told not to try until after appt but what If I'd ovulated and it was the right time????

I know I'm being stupid by the way. Post mc AF hasn't turned up yet but I'm crampy so it feels not far off. 4 weeks since ERPC.

Jady I'm desperate to do opk's too but am saving.

Right work, my Occu health took one look at me and I'm now on half days for next 2 weeks. So when I see colleague and it's upsetting I know I have only got to make it to lunchtime. She's also extended my counselling as that was due to end next week.

She said of she didn't do something I'd be off sick from Wednesday and the company needs me working . Being off sick isn't the answer and she is right.

My colleague is being lovely and sensitive but as she sits on the desk facing me on my pod whenever she stands up all I see is her bump and I'm grieving for 3 lost babies.

I fell apart.

Sorry epic post!

Thanks Sun, they are really good at the breast clinic (I've been there a few times before), they see you very quickly and you get an ultrasound on the breast/armpit area and then see the consultant the same day. The Bucks target is to see you within 2 weeks of you going to see your GP, and I've already got at appointment on Thursday (the first one they offered was at the same time as my 20 week scan at a different hospital...), so I will have answers/reassurance this week, at least.

brummie - really pleased that your work is now being supportive and offering half days. It's still tough though to be sat opposite a pregnant colleague. Is there any chance you could change desks so it's not in your face each day?

just - oh that's great that you have managed to get an appointment so quickly. Sods law the first appt was at same time as 20 week scan but at least you managed to move it and still be seen next week.

Hello ladies. Sorry have been absent for a while have been lurking but the pace of this thread it is hard to keep up.
baking fantastic news about faith. Not sure if it is the hormones, but that has made me have a little cry. You soooo deserve a best case scenario.
bootles and brummie sounds like you are both in that horrible lowest ebb. bootles no results sucks, but you can move forward without them just with a bit less information. I hope ypu dont mind me saying this but it sounds like you could do with a break. It is hard but sometimes stopping the ttc/mc merry-go-round for a while is the healthiest thing to do.
brummie processing 3 losses and looking at bumps all day no suprise you are finding it tough. I got quite skilled at developing bump blindness, a bit harder when sat opposite you. Any chance of a desk shuffle? It is good that you have an understanding occ health dept. Ours is simply a form fillling function. No help at all.
cloud really glad you felt more positive after your appointment. No one has batted an eyelid yet about me being 40. The consultant I am under has a 54 year old lady on her books.
just we are both in for 20 week scan on Tuesday. I can now feel donut everyday which I find really reassuring. Right now I am feeling really positive. For those of you who are struggling right now, this is worth it.

Oh bootles that's really rubbish, how frustrating and made even worse by such an unhelpful consultant.

flen hopefully it's just too early yet

brummie glad work are being a bit more understanding now. The girl who I thought had a bump is def pregnant as she was talking about it at lunchtime with a bloke at work who also appears to have a pregnant wife! I just wanted to run away!

Had a flashing smiley on my opk today so hopefully ov is imminent. At the moment all my thoughts are about what to do when I get pregnant and what I should take I seem to be forgetting the difficult bit of trying to get pregnant in the first place!!

Big hugs just. Am sure it will be fine. Glad the hospital are seeing you quickly.

Sorry flen. Digital tests really aren't very sensitive ime though. No scope for holding up to the light and looking at them hours after their window etc so I have never got on with them (know this will make you dash out and buy a different test. Sorry! )

brummie glad you have been put on half days. Easing in sounds like the way to go. I had a bit of a scare on my wtf cycle too. It was fine but reminded me I really did want to wait for my tests before getting pg again. Hugs.

Sorry posted too soon. Grrrr.
At this risk of being throttled, I just wanted to say to those struggling. This is fourth time lucky for me (I count even getting this far as lucky, but I am sooooo not counting my chickens). I have been thinking about all we have been through over the last three years, the heartbreak, the endless limbo, the stretches of numbness, the endless heightened anxiety, the brief but extreme freak outs. It has changed me, and I am not sure for the better. But, it has been worth it. Feeling this little life inside. Odd to say but even if it goes tits up now, even getting this far has been worth it. I hope that brings some hope and doesn't sound smug. Hugs to all. Fucking hormones I am now blubbing.

20 week scans! Nerve wracking but quite exciting too. I have felt much better since mine, though still have the occasional wobble over movements. Will you be finding out the sex?

brummie, so glad that you have found the right person to speak to at you work and that they are being more supportive now. Good idea to continue the counselling too.
just , really the last thing you need to be worrying about right now. I'm sure you're right that it's completely innocent but best to get it checked,so good to get such a quick appt.

Talking about opks I got 50 opk and hpt from Amazon for 8 quid. You can choose any combo you want (ie 35 opk and 15 hpt). I was a bit sceptical but the opk seem to have worked. Cheap as chips

Awww belle, that's lovely. It's nice to think of being there some day (hopefully soon)

Emerging for the weekend! 1 week of the 2ww down!

brummie so glad work are being helpful. Well, Oc H anyway. Can you get a massive pot plant or something to put between you?! I had the same thing with my 1st, close colleague at the same stage I would have been, and to make it worse DH's best mate's wife was also pg at the same stage, so I got it at work and within our social circle so I basically ended up not going to the pub for 6 months just in case she was there..

bootles I also think knowing the gender is reassuring. I didn't 'find out' but I had a very strong feeling both times and had names picked out accordingly. It makes it feel more 'real' to me. I'm so sorry they couldn't do the tests .

I'm sorry to everyone I've missed, there's too much to catch up on!

I'd really appreciate some advice. I started with a UTI on Weds, had one once before and recognised the signs soon enough to know I needed to leave work as soon as I started weeing blood. I spent the next 4 hours not being able to get off the toilet for more than 30 seconds. A friend brought round some cystopurin and one sachet of that gave me enough relief to have time to get to the gp and pick up some antibiotics. You're supposed to take all 6 sachets of the cystopurin, 3 a day, to finish the course, but when I read the box it said not to take if pregnant so I stopped. Obviously I don't even know yet whether the IUI has worked, but after over 3 years of ttc I don't want to take any chances. The antibiotics the gp gave me are safe to take in pg, she changed the prescription when I told her about the IUI. However, it's now Saturday and although I'm not weeing blood anymore, I'm still needing the toilet constantly, and it's not going away despite 3 days worth of antibiotics (it's a 6 day course).
Do I take the cystopurin anyway, given if I am pg it's only just going to be implanting around now? Or is it pointless now as you're meant to take the course in one?
Don't know what to do, feel stupid calling the clinic and asking. Any advice very much appreciated!