Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 16 - tests, treatment and trying again

[Justonemoretime]

Information, support, hand holding, tea, sympathy and a hell of a lot of combined knowledge - all welcome as we try to make sense of the RMC roller coaster of tests, NHS admin, heart ache and (hopefully) happy endings!
Please start with a recap of your stats :)

Good luck today Baking

Wow - this thread is on roller skates

baking - good luck today, hope it goes really well.

tanny - great to see you back here.

brummie - day 1 back is always horrid so you are definitely on the up now, although pregnant colleagues are a bummer to deal with.

flen - everything crossed for you tomorrow. Are you testing early or due tomorrow?

Well AF arrived yesterday so at least things seem to be getting back to normal. And have appointment at the rmc this afternoon. May get results of fetal testing back although has only been 4 weeks and they said 4-5 for results. Am oscillating between desperately wanting to know results / not wanting to know (head in sand approach) / wanting to find no problem with fetus (but then what the hell is causing them when all other tests have been fine) / hoping it was a one off bad luck chromosonal problem and therefore unlikely to reoccur (but then why has it happened three times?!). Hey-ho - I guess the results will be what they will be. X

Good luck for today baking. Hoping for a good result on faith's eeg.

Good luck for tomorrow flen, in a very different way. Don't know about you, but I'm feeling huge pressure now the bar has been set so high with 100% bfp success so far (ok, it's only out of 1,but still!)

Good luck for your appt sun. Whatever the result of the testing, at least you will know and it will hopefully calm the not knowing worry, if nothing else (which I think is sometimes worse)

Good luck today baking. Sending as many positive thoughts as I can.

Am glad the appts was a success march. It feels so good to be listened to. Who knows about the fibroid but good to get it checked out. I have had the same experience at every consultant appointment, private or not. They've never read the notes!! Still, as someone else said, good to explain it all in your words from the beginning. Fingers crossed for you and flen this month.
jady I had the thyroid check. Results were about 4 weeks and that was over Christmas too.
Waves to everyone else. So tired today. Bad insomnia last night. Sleep has def got worse since this whole thing started. God I hate the 4am dread and panic

monten - is horrid isn't it. Mine is 3.30am on the dot. There should be a night time insomnia mn thread so we can all chat instead of staring at the ceiling. Maybe there is?! Hope today passes quickly and you can have a relaxing weekend. x

Boo, no snow at all here. Good luck Sun and flen. Really sympathise with the tww hell.

Well guys we have very nearly survived January, the dullest month of the year. Let 2015 start looking up.

Just got irrationally annoyed with my iPhone when I entered the wrong passcode and it told me to 'try again'.

Just dropping in to show my lucky socks...will post properly in a bit.

Yay Froggies! Hope they are as lucky as my foxes!
I love cute socks, why should kids have all the fun?

Thanks for all the good wishes
flen good luck tomorrow, march when you up?
baking thinking of you today
sun hope appointment today is helpful.
tanny hello nice to have you back.
cloud glad appointment was ok and dh swung into gear!
brummie glad day 1 ok, hope today chugs by ok

Happily head in the sand here but must remove it next week to arrange an early scan. Only have 1 tube so they want to check for ectopic early-not excited to get back in that scan room

flower great socks

.... really need to get some lucky socks

Good socks flower

I'm not testing for ages yet bythesea. I'm still only 5dpo today so I think another week although might do secret test without dh at 11dpo as I quite like knowing first.
I have to start taking the progesterone again on Sunday,so that's my next date to concentrate on. Already crazily symptom spotting though!

Thanks everyone! sun I am testing early, not totally sure when I ovulated, but tomorrow is 28 days since my last period so seems as good a time as any...

march I am totally feeling the pressure! Been symptom spotting too - got a spot on my chin this morning that was enough to convince me it will definitely be negative...

Monten I couldn't sleep either last night. I also had the 4am panic.

Well today is failing miserably. Broke down and had to rush off to the loo and cried my eyes out.

Facing my pregnant colleague is so hard. She hasn't done anything and has been very sensitive but there is no getting away from it. She's pregnant and my baby has died.

Feel like I can't talk to anyone about how I feel because I get told "there are pregnant women everywhere and you have to deal with it"

Then I feel like I'm being "told off and judged" for my grief. It's me who has to make allowances, it's me who has to control my grief because I have a pregnant colleague.

Which of courses makes me feel worse. I feel like there is no escape from my grief because I have to be mindful I have a pregnant colleague.

I want to scream "what about me????!!!"

My boss has already alluded to the fact that they need me to try and avoid taking time off as they need me in doing my job.

So I feel completely trapped in my grief and I fell to pieces in the loo.

Even DP is pretty much at a loss of what to say...

Today is not a good day

Getting pissed tonight. It's the only answer

flen well done for holding out to 28 days before testing! Keeping fingers crossed for you.

brummie big hugs. Dealing with pregnant colleagues / friends / sonographers is so so hard. You should absolutely not feel told off or judged for your grief. You have suffered loss and it takes time to work through that and regain some sense of 'normal' again, although I doubt normality ever truly returns. Stuff your boss and take time off if you need to to work through it. Or if you want to be working but not confronted by pregnant colleague, would it be possible to do your job from home for a couple of days a week? Or failing that, could you move desk to another part of the office, to get some distance? x

.... also can't remember if you have tried counselling at all. I haven't personally but many people here have and have found it beneficial. Maybe this could at least be a good opportunity to express the grief and not just feel like you have to 'get on with it' x

baking Good luck today, hope you will get some encouraging results.

tanny Glad that you're back, hope you are feeling a bit better!

sunandrain With test results, it's always the 'Damned if you do, damned if you don't' thing, isn't it - on one hand, you want to be fine and healthy, on the other, you want them to find something that they can then treat... Good luck with your appointment.

flower Great socks

brummie So sorry to hear that you are struggling. Is there any chance that you might be able to work from home from a while, if your company doesn't like you to take any more time off? Or move you to somewhere else in the office/building?
I would definitely look into getting some counselling, it can be so helpful to be able to speak with somewhere about this all, without having to have any reservations.

jady it's me on the TABLET trial. I was tested in Bristol on a Thursday and she called me with the result on the Tuesday, so pretty quick.

brummie I'm so sorry to hear work is so difficult at the moment. Are you doing any kind of phased return/adjustments at all? My sister helped me work out a plan for a phased return and I'm sat at home waiting for a call from my boss to discuss. The plan involves building up the activities as well as the hours. But it also looks at the threats to the success if the return to work eg what am I likely to find most challenging and all options are on the table to mitigate the risks (home working/shorter days etc).Sorry if this is all a bit late to be of use, but perhaps you could still incorporate some of this? It's entirely to the employers interest to be flexible as they want the return to work to succeed.
Then there's my own preparation, even things like arranging lunch/coffee breaks with a 'friendly' colleague. I think it's normal to find it extremely tiring. Which is logical. I spent 31 years of my life answering the question 'how are you?' honestly. Yet now I have to think on my feet in order to say something both truthful and socially acceptable. That's pretty exhausting and that before I have even taken my coat off. So my sister has me thinking about what difficult situations may arise and asks me how I will prepare for them.
Anyway, I'll be launching into this next week, feel very nervous.

Sounds like there are plenty of us heading to Coventry soon. AF arrived on sat so I'll be busting out the ovulation strips in a few days. I'll be sat in the waiting room wondering who is who!

All the best today baking
Hope you're feeling a bit better bootles xx

Counting I think tanny and I were there about 4 weeks apart... Don't think anyone else from here went at the same time as me...

Someone in the waiting room with her mum, then talked to me at the train station but we were getting different trains.

counting - what a wise sister you have. Wish I had though of doing half these things to prepare myself.

I may also see you at Coventry soon. My only reservation is how to get the medicines once pg as my gp is lovely but that kind of request just gets lost with them (thinking back to trying to get the blood tests done that the rmc had requested and it was one of the most stressful things I have had to deal with - went round in circles for weeks while I felt like my ovaries were growing old and spitting out their last few eggs as I was tied up in bureaucracy). Anyway going to discuss that with the rmc this aft to see if I get on the Coventry protocol they will help with prescriptions for the medicines. x

sun I've been wondering about that myself. My GP is nice but I think they are a bit like wary of anything I suggest or any information I show them. I don't know whether my consultant aopt will come up before or after I get to Coventry so we'll just have to wait and see. Thank you for saying my sister is wise. She has a long history of clinical depression. And she's a generous and loving soul. Good luck with your appt.

Thanks, tiny

Brummie Sorry you're struggling today. I'll be having a drink tonight too. Hope you spend lots of time on you this weekend. Like the advice Counting's sister is giving. Can I borrow her?

Counting wow that's pretty quick. Had my blood taken this morning at St Michaels so hopefully same timescale should apply. She was really lovely and said they'd had amazing results so far. 2 take home babies in Bristol already and 1 had been trying for 5 years on fertility treatment. Amazing.