Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 16 - tests, treatment and trying again

[Justonemoretime]

Information, support, hand holding, tea, sympathy and a hell of a lot of combined knowledge - all welcome as we try to make sense of the RMC roller coaster of tests, NHS admin, heart ache and (hopefully) happy endings!
Please start with a recap of your stats :)

It will have been 2 weeks on Weds cloud so not too long but long enough that theyre no longer bothering me says the woman who makes her husband do it

I am very clumsy too boozle which i think is why im so surprised! I almost knocked myself out on the sun visor getting innto my car, i expected a black eye or something but thankfully not!

When I was on heparin, I only ever bruised around the injection sites, never when banging into things. And it might be that because your DH is so brilliant at giving injections that you don't get any bruises there either I wouldn't worry about this, enjoy it while it lasts (the not-bruising, I mean, not the injections)!

Omg just noticed these awesome

He's got a big enough head so i'll not tell him that it could be a possibility cloud
Hehe theyre awesome

Hey all. I feel a bit better today thanks all - and thanks for the pep talks.
Went to Worcester this morning for my bloods. Had to take a deep breath when saw women with the tell tale green pregnancy notes and bounty packs

But had really short wait (phew) and scarpered. Next time I will be back there will be 4 weeks today for my consultant appt.

Tomorrow is due date day so rather than sit and home and sob I'm going clothes shopping and then acupuncture. Got nice dinner with DP Friday night and then boozy sesh for mates birthday. Pregnant friend will be there but I know I have to suck it up and get on with it. Can't avoid people forever! But nothing like putting on a sky high pair of heels to get through it

Brummie you are on the road to recovery now. Good on you re tomorrow and Friday. Hope the day passes peacefully. Sometimes it's the anticipation of these significant days that is the worst.

Glad you're feeling a bit better today brummie. I started to feel more positive when I got my bloods taken too as it just felt like another step forward. Take care of yourself tomorrow. Sounds like you have a nice day planned to keep your mind of things, but it's always a hard one.

Well I'm just back from seeing my pregnant friend. I didn't cry, which is good. Barely even let myself look at her absolutely massive bump, even though it was really obvious in what she was wearing.
There were several comments she made that were pretty hurtful. One joking about how everyone is pregnant at the moment, and another about some of our antenatal friends who have moved close by so 'there's going to be so many of them that can all meet up with their new babies' as they are all pregnant at the mo.
I know this is perfectly normal pregnant lady chat, but I really thought she would know better than to say it in front of me having been through it herself. Anyway. Duty done and I've told her I'm not going to come and see the baby for a little while, which she was ok about. Feeling shitty now and almost wish I hadn't gone as I was in such a positive mood this morning.

Bloody hell march, people really can be insensitive. I would have found it very hard to bite my tongue / not run off crying. Well done for getting through it.

Crikey March that is shitty and insensitive.

Psyching myself up for pregnant colleague on Thursday and pregnant friend on Saturday.

You Ladies make me feel so much better. Had almost convinced myself that I was just being over sensitive but glad it's not just me!

March was this just you and her? I'd have told her straight to quit with the baby talk. Totally insensitive. Definitely not just you, you handled that a lot better than I would have done.

brummie for the due date. I was far worse the day before than the day itself (although that wasn't easy either). We went out and spent the day together, planned lots of nice things. My next due date I deliberately avoiding knowing given how fixed in my mind the date was for the first one, but I know it's coming up in the next two weeks. About when I find out if the iui worked. Sods law!!

I think you did really well March. I was only able to see two pregnant friends / people with new babies and anybody else I ran and physically hid from. Some people really struggle to engage their brain before speaking...

Unfortunately I can't hide. My pregnant colleague is the other one that does my job - so we do exactly the same job and sit opposite and split the clients between us.

She's 17 weeks pregnant so will have that in my face every single day as she goes to mw appt's etc. I'll know she's going as I'll have to cover her when her clients ring

Couldn't make it up.

brummie - glad to hear you are feeling a bit better. Thinking of you for tomorrow though and glad you have a nice day planned. I had my acupuncture session this evening and am sat on train feeling all light and floaty, so hope u enjoy it too.

march - you were absolutely not being over sensitive. Why don't people think before they open their mouths??? Makes me so angry

brummie - hugs. That's so tough on you. Time for some large strategically placed plants on the desk so u at least don't have to talk to her too much?

We had some friends who invited themselves over this weekend to show off their new baby, which was due a month after my first would have been. These are the same friends who, knowing I had miscarried, waited till we were on holiday with them to tell us they were pregnant, then said they were only pregnant because we had given them the idea. I was in a complete state about seeing them and only coped with it by kind of disassociating. Just didn't engage when they started rambling on about the baby and just changed the subject. Also felt bad, but they are either completely insensative or trying to issue advice and pearls of wisdom about a subject the know nothing about. Sorry - rambling jut quite cathartic writing this!! X

brummie yey to high heels! A blow off night out will help I think. Sorry to hear about your pregnant colleague though. I work in a team of 11 girls all aged 28-42 and am the only one without a dc. I have watched them one by one get pregnant, get bump, have 1st dc, have 2nd dc and so on. Totally understand how you feel. It's so hard.

march your friend was down right insensitive, I wish people would think before they speak

XxX

Brummie - that is just blimming typical. How awful it is depends on what she's like... is she the type to be very excited. I've fortunately not been in the position of pregnant colleagues but DH had about 63 pregnant women in his office in his last job and he said it got very upsetting at times as they went on and on about it. He got really pissed once on a world do and told bunch of them (and cried - bless him - it was in response to the "so when do you think you and Twilight will have a baby" question - idiots). I think he thought they'd rein it in after that but sadly it was not to be.

March - that's totally out of order. I tend to try and give people the benefit of the doubt when they say idiotic things, as I think we all do, but some people do make that really difficult don't they. I would have trouble moving on from that one.

Eight days until by second scan. Praying a fetal pole and heartbeat have appeared. Think I'm actually going to wait for it too in a shocking turn of events as I've literally no time this week to go. I seem to oscillate between positivity and despair at the mo. Highly stressful.

Brummie that's really pants. You could completely do without that - make sure you take in brie sandwiches and eat them in front of her.
I'm lucky that I don't need to deal with that in my place - I'm actually pretty sure nobody has sex out of my colleagues so also think the danger of it is quite slim...

Wow I've resorted to taking notes so I don't miss anyone off!
brummie I hope tomorrow isn't too painful for you and sorry about your work predicament, that must be so hard.
sasha and barking I see your due dates are coming up in the next few weeks so hoping you will get through these too
cloud hope you can have a rest now and hopefully you won't be needing to do it again for a long time except for pleasure
sun and march it's horrible listening to insensitive comments. I think we are all within our right to be hurt by these things and I don't think you're being overly sensitive at all. People need to think before they open their gob!
I know this isn't as bad at all, but my friend (who has got pg easily and had straight forward pregnancies with 3 dc) was saying the other day how the months must go really quickly when me (and others in same position) are trying and it's not happening or happening successfully and how I'd said I wanted a small age gap...well thanks for pointing that out, yes i did want a small age gap but clearly I've not gotten what I want, twice!
longest yes you bloody deserve a rest
oneday yes my dh also prefers to put a front on and would rather tell people he's fine. I told him off after the last mc for telling his family that I was fine and I was in pieces then, crying every night. Cue his (other) sister and family coming round a wk after the mc and acting like nothing had happened (which really pissed me off) and they didn't even take the hint to leave after I'd hardly muttered a word for about 2 hours!
twilight glad you're busy and hopefully the wait isn't as painfully slow. Try and keep positive (so easy for me to say), there's nothing to gain from being negative, and anything that can possibly take you mind off the waiting might help. Looking forward to hearing about your next scan.
baking it's sounding positive that Faiths treatment is continuing to work and you may be able to start weaning her off it soon. Hoping for the best results for you and that you are all looking after each other.

Feel a bit better today, although I've been to see my gp for another sick note and asked about testing but she said only after 3 mcs. I think we're going to just go for it and ttc as soon as we can and if it goes wrong I'll just have to live with that.
I bought tp some lucky socks the other week and think I'm going to start wearing them soon, starting with my hosp app on sat when hopefully my bloods will be below 20 so I can be discharged. I'll post a pic of them on here soon.
I haven't seen any Mr Selfridges but think I need to do this, feel like I'm missing out! I've been watching downton abbey (right from the beginning!) which has got me through many hours when I couldn't face doing much else.
I hope I haven't missed anyone, jeez it's taken me about 45 mins to do this, I've probably missed loads of posts by now! [tbcinfused]

Ha ha boozle that's funny! And pate too! And you could say you've been in a hot tub/jacuzzi and it was soooo nice!

Love all the lucky socks, happy shopping flower. This is my lucky frog, he comes to all my appointments

Bless you flower I've been known to take notes before now too.

Hope tomorrow is not too bad brummie and I think your plan of attack sounds ideal. I went out and spent a bloody fortune after the first time - not great for my bank balance but it did make me feel better.

sunandrainbow those friends of yours make me cross. Just at the insensitivity. And you march. No you are not being over-sensitive. What on earth is wrong with people??

Right, so my results have come back from RMC. Thyroid - normal. Thrombophilia - normal. Karyotype - normal. So all normal. This appears to be all they tested for, is that right??

TBH - both of our losses were chromosomal so the karyotype was the biggie to me. I don't think we have any other underlying issues (crossing every finger) that I really want them to test for, given that my first pregnancy was 'successful' in the sense that he was still alive at 12wks, just chromosomally abnormal. But the letter basically ends by saying 'So you've got 75% chance of successful pregnancy next time, good luck' . I can't believe you don't even get a phone call with a consultant to discuss the results!

I think there's someone else on here whose baby also had Trisomy 18. In the letter it says I have a slightly increased risk of it happening again - this is completely contrary to what I was told at the time. Grateful for any insight as to what you were told.

catlover loving the lucky mascot and he looks v sweet but that is one funny looking frog!!

xxx