Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 15 - tests, treatment and trying again

[Justonemoretime]

Information, support, hand holding, tea, sympathy and a hell of a lot of combined knowledge - all welcome as we try to make sense of the RMC roller coaster of tests, NHS admin, heart ache and (hopefully) happy endings!
Please start with a recap of your stats :)

Yes, I agree, really beautifully written, and on the nose x

Hi Sasha. Nothing physical happened as a result of not waiting longer after 2 (I certainly don't think the 3rd wad caused by not waiting) but I was an absolute mess during the pregnancy. It was the worst 8 weeks of my life with worry. Probably worse than the miscarriage itself (hope that doesn't offend anyone) and then when the 3rd happened I think I went through a spell of depression. I just don't think I was ready. I remember saying to dh that I felt I was ready to be pregnant again but not ready for another mc but I actually don't think I was ready for either.
The hard thing about no 2 is that you know you're not doing anything different, I found that unbearable. I feel so much stronger after the enforced break this time, despite the tests not coming up with any answers. I'm going to try to be more positive, as constantly preparing my mind for a potential miscarriage (which is what i did last time,and it took up all my thoughts) didn't actually make it any easier. I hope that this won't happen to you again. Your chances are still v good and we all have everything crossed for each other here.

Huge hugs to everyone tonight. It is always tough reading all the stats again. Such a lot of pain in one place. It is very humbling. Has bootles been on this thread yet? Noticed she was still posting on the old one.

Marking my place on the new thread -
Me: 42 (43 this Saturday! )
DH: 45
1 DS, 3.5 years, totally uncomplicated pregnancy.
Ttc no.2 since summer 2012 - this cr** has been going on 2.5 years now!
MC 1 Jan 2013, discovered at 10 weeks,ERPC
MC 2 April 2013, discovered at 8 weeks,natural management
MC 3 August 2013, discovered at 8 weeks, semi-medical management (got the first round of drugs, which kicked everything off, didn't have to do the rest), trisomy 2
MC 4 April 2014, discovered at 17 weeks, medical management, trisomy 18

I take heparin in every pregnancy due to history of DVT, as well as aspirin, also had progesterone during the last pregnancy.
Currently awaiting a (private) appointment with a consultant to discuss my history and options in (hopefully) great detail. Age is obviously the biggest issue for me/us, and I'm not sure if I can try again just with a 'good luck' wish... I need some hard facts/truths to then maybe be able to make up my mind. DH not keen on donor eggs or adoption, but happy to follow my lead, whatever I decide.

In spite of all this, I'm in yet another 2ww, with one half-hearted shag a few days ago, which fell bang on ov' day...

Hugs cloud, yours get me every time. x

Sasha they are beautiful words and I know exactly how you feel...

Still no beds at Worcester... Waiting for them to ring me back after a bed management meeting. FFS because I'm not in pain and bleeding ( yet) it's very easy to bump me if an emergency comes in.

I'm feeling calm but sad at the moment. Helps that I don't have the distress of bleeding and pain at the moment. But think I'm probably in shock. Doesn't feel real. I still feel pregnant

That's officially rubbish Brummie. Hopefully better news after the meeting x

brummie I’m so sorry. My heart aches for you. I really hope they can fit you in today. The waiting is so hard. I know that numb feeling well, you’re protecting yourself. I really hope you can find some support/comfort/advice here and that you are being well looked after in real life. Life is so hard sometimes but the amazing ladies on here prove that there is light after darkness.

My stats: Me 37, DP 40. TTC no 1 since April ’13. Termination of DS1 in Jan ’14 at 11 wks after Trisomy 18 diagnosed. MMC in July ’14 at 8wks (baby measured 5 wks). ‘Products’ tested, Trisomy 22 found. He was another boy. Since then periods have been very light. Had a RMC appointment in December, had all the blood tests, awaiting results. Am expecting a ‘bad luck’ diagnosis.

I was feeling a lot more positive. Christmas wasn’t as bad as I was expecting. I’ve started acupuncture and I also have started riding again, I used to love it so I’m so glad I’ve finally managed to pull my finger out and start again. I was feeling like I was finally getting over the miscarriage and it wasn’t the only thing I thought about, day in day out.

But I’ve come back to work today and have hit the ground with a bump (pun intended). The very first thing I saw when I walked in the door was a colleague who is pregnant – her bump has just completely popped out over Christmas. My second EDD was the 5th January. The 8th of January was when my 12 week scan was last year when it all started to go wrong. This time last year I was returning to work excited that I would soon be telling my colleague’s I was pregnant. And here I still am. Not pregnant. It’s hard. Sometimes I think I’m so glad I didn’t know then what I know now, I don’t know how I would have coped.

I hope you don’t mind me staying with you ladies. I know I have only had two losses but I feel like this thread is where I am meant to be. Am hoping so much that 2015 is a happy year for all of us.

Me 38
1x mmc at 12 weeks, blighted ovum - erpc
1 x mmc at 10 weeks after seeing heartbeat at 8 weeks- erpc
1 x complete molar pregnancy - erpc, follow up meant I couldn't TTC for 6 months

Now 21 weeks and still anxious, still haven't even bought maternity clothes, scan on 8 January

So sad reading everyone's stats
brummie I hope they fit you in today

brummie, so sorry you've been bumped again. how incredibly frustrating . Hope it happens soon.

Of course we don't mind you staying monten. I've read a few of the other threads but feel like this one is the best fit for me. And don't feel like you've any less right to be here because you've 'only' had two. Several of the ladies on here are in the same boat. I think there is a mental change after two, or there was for me. After the first i believed the midwives who said it was just bad luck and that is probably be fine next time. After the second you just feel a kind of despair and I felt incredibly alone until i found these lovely ladies. They just get it. Reading some of the other boards made me feel a bit frantic about ttc but this one seems just supportive. Thanks everyone

Good to see you again purple. 21 weeks! That's amazing. How is the sickness?

Monten there's no such thing as "only" two losses. As I said yesterday, my second hit me really hard. Going back to work after a break is hard, take it easy on yourself today.

This is my MN home too. I drift in and out of other threads, but whatever state I am in, I know you all have my back...

Brummie, thinking of you. x

Bootles, hope you're doing OK. x

Hugs Monten it's so hard seeing bumps when you want a baby yourself so badly. Heart goes out to you

I too have only had two mcs but the ladies on here welcome us I know they do. It's great that you're getting back into your riding as that will help you to keep fit for your next bfp. I have found yoga helpful so might be worth finding out if there is a centre near where you live, leisure centre classes sadly aren't as good!

Brummie so sorry you're still waiting for news on your bed. It's horrible having to wait. Would they bump you up if you tell a fib and say pains have started? I know it's naughty but it's worth a try?

Waves hello to Purple and says ouch those clothes must be feeling tight? I'm 13 weeks and in maternity jeans already!!! So weird to see a tummy on my as I'm a slim build and never gain weight on my stomach.

march sickness much better but still really nauseous

cat I have been getting away with wearing stretchy trousers in a bigger size for work but these are now too tight and need to shop before work on Monday. 13 weeks

Yes you'll need some before Monday then Hardly any of the stores actually sell maternity these days, I ordered my stretchy band work trousers online from Next. They are a bit naff but they'll do lol. X

There's no competitive misery here Monten. My first mc was a chemical pregnancy and I didn't really count it at the time. It was disappointing but I had put it behind me. It only retrospectively became mc1 and gained importance as the start of a pattern but no one on this thread made me feel I hadn't suffered enough. Until mc3 I thought i had had one "proper mc" and one chemical but was convinced they had just been bad luck. So mc3 hit me really hard and I joined this thread then. Luckily I had reported the chemical to my dr as was fed up taking a while to conceive too so was able to be referred for tests on the nhs.

Thanks ladies, you're all so lovely

I had my first acupuncture session on Tuesday and I've felt quite strong 'pressure' in my uterus since then. I think I am ovulating or about to ovulate. Not had this pressure feeling quite so strong or for so long before though, and wondering if it could be be related to the acupuncture. Anyone else had this?

I like the idea that it's doing something already but a bit skeptical just one session could induce a reaction!

Hello peeps, Happy New Year, may this one bring many of us more joy than last. Sorry to all of those having a horrible time. Just trying to catch up and sorry if I miss anyone.
Brummie hope they get you in today, horrible having to wait.
cat great news on your scan, good luck for next week.
sasha bug hugs to you and chin up, everything is so hard sometimes but you just have to keep taking a day at a time, I hope you find some support here, I know I have found it amazing!
Bootles thinking of you, so pleased you found a time to tell your sister. I hope it really helps you get some support in RL.

I am sure I have missed people and I am sorry, hi to the new faces, sorry you are here. Back at work now therefore much more time to keep up with the thread .

My details
Me 32, DH 31
No DC
Trying for DC #1 since December 2012
Mc 1 @ 9+6 nov 13
Mc2 @ 10+6 Mar 14
Mc3 @ 10+3 Sep 14
Op for cyst to be removed between mc 2 & 3, they found only one tube & ovary so early scan at each BFP to check for ectopic.
Test results after MC 3 all normal for me, tissue from little bean found to be chromosmally abnormal so told, bad luck and try again.

AF arrived early today and we agreed to get back on the TTC wagon after Jan AF so will be joining those for the joy of monthly 2ww in a few weeks. 3 months off has done my brain the world of good and I actually feel ready to start all over again....

I was worse after my second (chemical pregnancy) too. The first mc was physically more traumatic (12w) but I had a feeling of 'at least I know I can get pregnant' after so many years ttc, so I was full of hope until my next BFP also didn't stick. Then my close friend got pregnant after 1 month ttc and I completely lost it

No such thing as only 2. They are all as hard as each other...

I had 5 "proper" ones and a chemical I don't tend to count. If I did there would be the symmetry of 3 mc baby 3 mc baby (hopefully)

I am nearly 26w (tomorrow) and still can't get my head around it... Now we told dd there is no hiding as we mention "your sister" to get her used to things

I'm still waiting peeps. Have spoken to ward 3 times. The consensus from registrar and consultant is that I need to be operated on today (do you think??) but there just isn't a bed at the moment.

So could still happen today and as a result I still haven't eaten or had a drink since midnight

Happy New Year Sea. I'm so pleased the break from ttc has done you good and you're feeling stronger for it! I'll be keeping everything crossed for your BFP very soon

Thanks for wishing me luck for the scan. DH has gone back to work today and the 'magic' of the holiday has truly warn off. I'm looking at bad dating scan info on dr google and am convincing myself Tuesday will bring bad news for me.

Waving hi to Tiny! Whoop whoop to being 26 weeks

This journey is sent to try us but the happy stories keep us going.

XxX

Hope you hear something soon Brummie you must be so fed up