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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 15 - tests, treatment and trying again

990 replies

Justonemoretime · 01/01/2015 09:02

Information, support, hand holding, tea, sympathy and a hell of a lot of combined knowledge - all welcome as we try to make sense of the RMC roller coaster of tests, NHS admin, heart ache and (hopefully) happy endings!
Please start with a recap of your stats :)

OP posts:
Brummiegirl15 · 02/01/2015 16:16

Not happening today. Worcester Hospital is being pushed to breaking point. There are medical patients currently in the gynae Ward and there just isn't a bed for me. Theatre slot, no problem but no bed.

Been told to eat and drink and start nil by mouth from midnight again.

FFS will this never end!!!!

bakingtins · 02/01/2015 16:39

That's crap brummie Sad

TinyTear · 02/01/2015 16:50

Oh brummie, that is terrible... Would you need to stay in? For both my erpcs I had them then waited in the epu in a small side room to recover, have some food and a wee and then home in a few hours...

I think the first was at 9:30 am and got sent home at 3pm and the second at 11am and got sent home at 5pm...

Hope things get sorted soon

girliesaints · 02/01/2015 16:51

That is even more pants Brummie. Don't think it's just Worcester hospital as I have read my local hospital is having the same issue, however it doesn't make it any better. Hope you've having something yummy to eat now x

longestlurkerever · 02/01/2015 17:05

((((Brummie))))

Brummiegirl15 · 02/01/2015 17:10

Just ordered a big fat Dominos pizza and wedges!!!! DP made a face but couldn't really say no!

At Worcester they want you in night before so surgical don't take the bed but I didn't even get that far...

Catlover2014 · 02/01/2015 17:11

Very sorry to hear this brummie Sad

Hope you have a restful evening at home and they get this sorted tomorrow xxx

Original poster
Justonemoretime · 02/01/2015 17:48

Brummie, so frustrated on your behalf. Hope they can get you sorted. I've never stayed overnight with an erpc, but I guess they have their system. Hope you enjoyed your pizza!

OP posts:
Original poster
Justonemoretime · 02/01/2015 17:53

Cat, good luck for your scan! glad you have reassuring bump already!
Purple, glad the sickness has settled. Hope you find something comfortable to wear to work.
As for me, increasingly frustrated paranoid about 'is it a bump/am I just fat' gate. Need to get 16 week apt booked for next week, which is it's own source of nerves. Trying to keep the anxiety at bay... Shock hate this limbo.

OP posts:
tannyLoo · 02/01/2015 17:56

Oh Brummie! God you must be sick of this. I really hope you get sorted tomorrow. Hugs from Somerset. x

tannyLoo · 02/01/2015 18:08

Just I'm sure it'll be a bump in no time. Mine has reached the "looks like it's detachable" stage, when I move, it stays solid. And I have a pair of feet behind my ribs, kicking out. Quite amazing when you're convinced it'll never happen Grin

Cat it will be fine, I am sure of it x

Purple, I'm impressed! I've been in maternity leggings with stretchy dresses and tops since I was about 16 weeks.

Monten · 02/01/2015 18:34

Oh brummie that's so shit. I hope they fit you in tomorrow.

I can imagine how hard it is to relax just - sadly that's something we have to deal with on top of everything else. Am sure everything will be just fine and you'll have your bump soon. And then the kicks will start! I daydream sometimes about what it must be like to feel that, hope I get to one day soon.

Belleende · 02/01/2015 18:35

Arse brummie that is just cruel you must be fed up.to.the back teeth. I had my last erpc as day surgery. Was in and out in about three hours. Is there no way to ask for it as day surgery? Hope you enjoy your pizza, you bloody well deserve it.
just also finding the limbo really odd. Not as anxious as I have been, I find that if I lie on my side for ten minutes, then quickly flip onto my back, I can get a good feel of the bump before it hides again. No frickin idea where it goes, but sometimes it is there plain as day, other times nowhere to be found. Not good for the heart rate.
Just watched "Up" bawled my eyes out. Really amazing to see mc and incertility dealt with in a cartoon. Blubbing my eyes out at everything these days.

longestlurkerever · 02/01/2015 18:53

Aw belle I love up. just I empathise with the limbo feeling. I even have a bump now and the occasional kick but it still doesn't feel proper somehow. Bump is more of a round tummy than discernable bumpwith edges and kicks are more like muscle twinges. I guess I will always find some reason not to relax but keep reminding myself how far I have come.

Not feeling too well today. Sore and swollen throat but dr thinks it's not tonsillitis. He is probably right as feel a bit better already but soooooo tired.

bootles · 02/01/2015 19:08

I'm a bit slow to be adding stats..didn't realise there was a new post for a bit, and have been off here for a couple of days. Sorry not to name check all, loads to catch up on already.

brummie god you must be so frustrated. Sorry you are having such a ridiculous wait to add insult to injury. Really hope you get sorted soon x

My increasingly depressing stats:
Me 41, OH 47 - so we're old which is a bad start

Gorgeous DS born with no trouble in 2011. - v v grateful to have him

  1. July 2012 MMC died at 7.5 wks. ERPC
  2. Sep 2013 TFMR after a 12 WK scan showed 9mm nuchal, and a whole load of other grim stuff, with a 90% chance of death in utero. Chromosomally normal
  3. Jan 2014 MMC, anembryonic. MC naturally at home whilst waiting for erpc. Trisomy 22
  4. July 2014 scans not great from the start, then showed slow HB and behind for dates, slowly died over several scans, took MM which was painful and bloody but I found it a cathartic process somehow. Chromosomally normal. Went to Coventry and found to have high NK cells.
  5. Dec 2014, on prednisolone, clexane, progesterone - Coventry protocol. Good scans at 5,7, and 9 weeks. Random consultant scan on Christmas eve showed it had died only a day or two before, so just days after the good scan, in the 9th week.

Can't believe this is my crap history. Currently focussing on DS who can't believe his luck with all the DVD's and left over Christmas chocolate. Feeling exhausted, irritable with everyone other than DS, and supposed to be going back to work a week on Monday (part time). No idea what the future holds.

bootles · 02/01/2015 19:09

Forgot - last one was erpc on Mon day - couldn't face MM this time...

longestlurkerever · 02/01/2015 19:18

Hello bootles. Glad you found us. I tried to reply to you on the other thread but it had reached its limit. I am glad you told your sister. Hold your ds close and just do what you can cope with. Xx

girliesaints · 02/01/2015 19:41

Glad you've made the journey over Bootles. Remember to take each stage as it comes. Can I swap my DH with your DS as he sounds delightful compared to my horror today ??

Hope Brummie you enjoyed the pizza, nom nom!

Original poster
Justonemoretime · 02/01/2015 20:02

Thanks ladies. I know my worries are small in the face of what many of you are up against. I just find in, rl, people who I tell my concerns to are very dismissive as if this ought to be the easy bit and just wait until the baby is a toddler, like theirs, and then I'll have some real worries. I know its not meant in a horrible way, but they just don't get where my head is at like you do. My heart goes out to everyone still going though procedures and testing, its not easy, I remember that very well. Hopefully 2015 will bring healing and happiness for you, and us all.

OP posts:
bootles · 02/01/2015 20:17

Ah thanks for trying to reply longest, on the old thread. Did take me a while to figure out there was a new thread.

girlie trust me, my DS is often a handful, but I can't ever be cross with him for long.

Ladies with small but growing bumps, try not to worry. If its any consolation, with DS I felt the first movement at 18 wks, moved into mat clothes at about 22 wks, and no-one guessed I was pg until over 24 wks. He is now a healthy taller than average and solid 3 3/4 year old.

Having told my sis about all the MC's, I summoned the courage to tell my mum too. She was also supportive. I generally like to keep things to myself and still feel anxious about them knowing, but have basically warned them off as I crave space. Anyway, whatever happens there, it won't be as bad as the fact that I have lost so many, and that my chances of success look slim.

Right off to tackle the list of 'things to do' as I decided if I can get rid of the never ending list it may help me to at least feel some order.

longestlurkerever · 02/01/2015 20:38

Bootles I really hope you're wrong about your chances being poor. Tanny, Tiny and Baking have all gone on to have healthy pregnancies after 4+ losses, though goodness knows it must have been a battle to find the strength to carry on and only you will know if that is the right path for you. Don't make any decisions now though, just be kind to yourself as best you can. I am glad your mum was supportive.

Marchgirl · 02/01/2015 20:38

Glad to hear you have reached out to your family bootles. It's hard when you're not someone who normally speaks about things like this, but hopefully a problem shared is a problem halved slightly lessened.
I think keeping busy is a good plan. I got loads of jobs done after my last one and it just helps to do some normal stuff, but give yourself some time for a good cry as well. And lots of hugs from your RL people, as well as virtual ones from us x

longestlurkerever · 02/01/2015 20:41

Just My rl friends have been a mixed bag. One of my closest friends keeps telling me how common mc is and how loads of women have chemical pregnancies without even knowing so I may not even be in the 1% rmc category. I know she is trying to be reassuring about my chances of success but it does come across rather dismissive. I haven't said anything though. I just come here.

Monten · 02/01/2015 21:07

bootles I'm so so sorry. I hadn't been on over Christmas and so missed your update. Life is so fucking hard sometimes. I too hope you're wrong about chances being poor. I know it's hard not to feel hopeless sometimes. I hope you recover well from your Erpc. Will they be doing testing on the baby?

longest I hate it when people trot out the 'it's so common' line.

Ladies, can I ask your collective opinion on something that's been bugging me? I really don't know if I'm being completely over sensitive. I may well be so please be honest. My SIL is lovely but one of the lucky people who has had three pregnancies which led to three babies. And got pregnant with each at the drop of a hat. Her last baby was born just a month before mine should have been. So there's a little tension there, that I feel. It's hard sometimes watching him grow.

A few weeks ago, I was going to visit my mum who lives abroad. She gave me, to take to my mum, a present of a mug that she had had made with the little ones hand prints on it. She didn't want to put it in the post I understand, but it felt a bit insensitive to me. Especially when my mums coming over in a few weeks so she could easily have given it to her herself. I welled up when I saw it, didn't let her see though. Had to pretend to be rummaging in my bag.

Am I being over sensitive? Sometimes I worry I'm looking for things to get upset about.

Monten · 02/01/2015 21:10

Sorry, by 'little one' I mean the new baby's hand prints.