total headwreck, empty sac 11 days ago, embryo 6wk there today...

[SuperGlue]

It was very hard to put this into a title but basically I had a dating scan 11 days ago when i reckoned i ought to have been 9 weeks pg. In the scan there was an empty embryonic sac measuring 7 wks but no yolk or fetal pole. The sonographer said it was most likely a miscarriage but that I would need to come back in 10 days to see if there was any growth during that time as a protocol.

I have spent the past 11 days in total turmoil and limbo. Waiting any moment to miscarry etc.

Went back today for the second scan expecting to be taken in this week for a d&c only to find that the sac had grown in the 10 days and there was now a yolk, fetal pole and an embryo measuring just 6 weeks. No heartbeat but she said heartbeat would kick in, if it was going to, over the next 7 days. SO basically she could not confirm that it was a miscarriage at this stage but that we would need to go back this day next week to see if there is a heartbeat. If not it will be confirmed then.

She was fairly certain that there was a problem with the development of this pregnancy and that the most likely scenario would be that it would develop this far and trail off and we would not find a heartbeat on Monday.

I just can't get my head around it all. Even if my dates were out a bit, I didn't think it was possible to be out that much.

Has anyone else ever gone through this?

I feel like my head is about to explode trying to take it all in / work it all out and another 7 days waiting stretches out in front of me..........

I don't know whether it's good news or not for you there Superglue. On the one hand it's awful when things drag on but on the other until it's over there is still chance for a miracle. At least you will get seen tomorrow.
My own bleeding has increased slightly but I still wouldn't call it heavy or even moderate. It does now contain tiny clotty bits though, which I'm taking as a sign of the miscarriage progressing.
I think the stress is finally getting to me today. I had more blood taken at the hospital this morning. I haven't been able to get much else done as I keep wondering if I'm starting to feel cramps down there, or is it just nerves? All these sensations are so similar.
I've been wondering why the nurse made a comment about me having a strong positive test. It was only a urine test, and a quick read of this board can tell you that women get positive tests for a while after miscarriage, so a "strong positive" means nothing.
I had everything so clear cut before. Going to the EPU has just confused everything and made it much harder.

That sounds very confusing and hard fromwesttoeast I don't knwo why the nurse would have made that comment, I had assumed from your post about it before that she was referring to blood tests. I have my fingers crossed for you.

I am having worse cramps now and dh is on his way back with dd, typical, we have almost 24hrs to ourselves and nothing happens and as soon as she is about the walk in the door it ramps up a level. Crap.

I hope we make it through tonight ok and then in to the EPU in the morning.

Hope so too Superglue. You can take me as evidence that you can keep on bleeding for quite a while without something dramatic happening.
I'm just making a guess here, but the worst experiences of miscarriage that I've read seem to be those that came on very suddenly and intensely. Maybe those of us with a longer run up get an easier time. (Clutching at straws)

Thanks fromwesttoeast cramps are worse now and there are clots now (sorry if tmi) dh is getting dd sorted for bed and I am trying to hold it together till then. God this is hard. Fecking hell. I feel like such a wimp but it is just so upsetting.

It is hard and it is upsetting. You are not being a wimp. But you will get through this.

i dont know what to add but just wanted to show some support. hope you are ok and glad your husband is there with you.

still thinking of you. Hope epu gives you some answers tomorrow.

You will get through it and I'm glad you have your dh with you. Hope you get answers tomorrow and that tonight is ok. Thinking of you.

Thinking of you, hope you are ok

wishing you all well for your hospital appointments today

I'm sorry I haven't been back to this thread, I'v been feeling too fragile and just couldn't face it. I've just sobbed reading everybody's updates. Sending hugs to all who need them. Superglue I so hope you get good news at your scan today even though you aren't expecting it.
I've been having cramping and bleeding pretty much constantly this last week. I'm hardly sleeping and have had a couple of anxiety attacks. I have a scan this afternoon and I'm dreading it. I can't bear for them to tell me the inevitable, I just want to stay here with my head buried in the sand.
My sister in law and 5 month old nephew are about to come from the other side of the world and stay with us for a month and it's going to be so tough. Much as I love him it's going to kill me. I don't want to be around anybody at the moment let alone a small baby.

chubby i hope ur ok and good luck at the hospital today. you just dont know yet.

i can imagine how uncomfortable spending time with a 5 month old will be should the worst happen just try to remember that it will happen for you at some point and you will get to experience that 5 month old of your very own.

thinking of you.

No, if it's over this time then it's over for good. I can't go through this again and we'd already made the difficult decision to stop trying due to my age amongst other reasons. I think that's why I'm finding it especially difficult this time, it really is so final.

So sorry Chubby. It is harder when you are older, you don't have the same hope of trying again as a younger woman. I know I don't.
Hospital just called. Blood test results inconclusive. Hormone levels have dropped slightly, but they call that "plateaued". Great. A clear result would have been nice. But no. I have to go back to see the consultant this afternoon. This seems like a heck of a lot of fuss over a miscarriage.
How are you this morning Superglue?

I'm sorry your results are not clear. I hope your appointment goes well this afternoon!
There's a hell of a lot of waiting being done on this thread .

Thinking of everyone today who is going through this horrible period of limbo. Hugs x

Hello all, thank you all so much for all the support yesterday and all along. So I had a pretty rough night, cramps continued to get worse and bleeding fairly intense. I tossed and turned and couldn't sleep till sometime between 4 - 5am. Has asked poor dh to go to the spare room at this stage as even his breathing was bothering me. I must have dozed at that stage but woke suddenly at 6am with a bad pain & heavy bleeding which intensified until 7am when finally I passed something big, it came as a bit of a shock (despite it all) and I was very shocked by it. But immediately felt better. Continued to have pains till 8am and passed several large clots (sorry for tmi) but then everything eased off and I managed to have a very small bit of breakfast.

DD slept through everything which was fantastic for me. Dh got her ready for school and dropped her in.

We went to the EPU for the scan at 11 and they confirmed there that I had had a complete miscarriage - I am certain it was at 7am. I do not need any follow on treatment other then rest and the nurse said I won't have any more heavy bleeding, it will be like a regular period now and it is exactly like that.

The very strange thing is that literally the minute I passed the sac I felt 'different' - not pregnant and like my old self again and I still feel that now though I am very sad that it had to end like this.

I had been dreading handling a miscarriage at home and really wanted to be taken in and for it to be 'taken care of' but it was not as awful as I had anticipated. I was very calm and only cried with sort of shock when the sac passed but was ok within a minute or so. I cannot believe it.

A terrible thing happened as we were leaving - my only female colleague is 8mths pregnant and due next month and she had an class in the hospital this morning and of course we bumped into her as we left the scan and as I said hello to her I just burst into huge racking sobs and it was dreadful. Dh just held me and said to her that we would see her soon and sort of told her v briefly about the scan (she was fully aware of the situation) but GOD what bad timing! I have texted her since and she is ok. And I am ok.

chubbymummy you poor thing, it is all just so shit. I am keeping everything crossed for you for later. I am in the exact same boat age-wise and we most likely will not try again now either. It is very sad and very final. Though my mother really annoyed me yesterday when things were hotting up and she rang me so I filled her in and she said 'maybe it is for the best if there is a problem (true but not nice to be reminded in the moment) and THEN she said 'you'll have to go back to using protection after this as you won't want this happening again' and I could literally feel my blood pressure rising - so insensitive, but fairly typical.

fromwesttoeast that is so hard, still being in limbo. I have everything crossed for you xx

I am heading to bed for a few hours now so will check in again later xx

i am so sorry superglue. glad you had your husband for support and your dd is none the wiser. you have been so brave and strong.

i hope you are feeling better after a rest. if you need support keep on posting. thinking of you

Sorry it ended sadly Superglue. What you described reminds me very much of the miscarriage I had back in 2001.
A complete miscarriage at home is what I hope for myself. I just don't know if I will manage it or how long I will have to wait.
Right now I'm in the scan waiting room at the hospital. I don't understand why I have to be scanned again so soon. Nothing noticeable could have changed since Friday surely.
I guess they will tell me soon.

superglue I'm so sorry that you had to suffer that experience. It really is one of the toughest hangs in life to get through. But I'm relived for you that the physical worst is over and you now get the chance to recover and begin the healing process.
You've been so strong and I'm just so sad that it's happened to you.
I'm so sorry that everyone in this thread is having such a shit time. Things really do seem to be dragging out for us.
I'm booked in for a D&C on Wednesday as my body's still not recognised the pregnabcy has failed and is still very much holding on.
This was still me trying for my first child. Having been pregnant at age 33, 34 and 35. I was hoping for third time lucky. But again, not my turn this time. I'm lucky to have a few years still ahead of me but I never thought it'd be such a tough battle and holding that baby in my arms seems to be a fading dream now.
Anyway, hope everyone is holding up ok and this evening is gentle in us all.

I couldn't sleep! I don't know if it is a sort of adreneline from earlier this morning or the coffee I had in the car on the way home from the hospital but hey ho...I am up again now. I actually feel remarkably ok considering but sort of have it in the back of my mind that the crash is on the way.

I fully intend to drink a LARGE glass of the very nice red dh bought whilst watching the trashiest of trashy tv later and then I am sure either tears or sleep or both will come.

fromwesttoeast I really hope you get some answers soon, you are in a hard place with it all just now. Hopefully your latest scan will shed some light on things.

The nurse did say that a complete miscarriage at home was the best outcome I could have hoped for, so I feel 'lucky' (if I can say such a thing about an entirely shit situation!) that is was as ok as it was.

I certainly don't feel I was brave or strong about it all and I would never have survived the past 19 days without you all, so very glad of mumsnet this past while.

sizethree you have had an incredibly rough run of things. I hope you are ok, or as ok as you can be. It is very hard to keep hope alive when things do not work out as you would like but I will keep everything crossed for you that one day very very soon it WILL be your turn to hold that amazingly precious tiny baby and it will be all yours. xx Wishing you luck on Wednesday unless anything happens itself in the meantime.

Thank you so much superglue. those are really kind words. I've found a lot of comfort through these boards during awfully tough times and I'm so grateful for you lovely group of women for helping make the shitty situations that bit more bearable. We are all due a good bit of good karma! X

Yay to good Karma - we are definitely long overdue some on this thread anyway!

Superglue so glad that you are past the worst of the physical side, make sure you look after each other emotionally too.
Wine sounds a great idea, I've got some on standby once I get to that point. Morning sickness still putting me off which feels cruel.
Hope you get some rest or at least some good trashy tv.
I got really angry today. GP phoned and left a message about my medication saying I shouldn't be taking one of them whilst pregnant and they shouldn't have prescribed it.
This is incorrect info (I checked with GP, consultant & myself in DHs BNF drug book at the beginning of pregnancy) I've been taking it throughout this pregnancy & if I hadn't known better I might have thought from the msg all the problems with this pregnancy were because of this. It's hard enough to not feel guilty without help from them.
This is the second time they've left potentially upsetting news on a phone msg & it's the 2nd time the info was completely incorrect. I'm going to lodge a complaint when I feel like I can deal with them.

Thoughts to you & everyone else in this crappy boat.

That sounds bad Wonkylegs. Wonder why they would be so careless.
Well, I had the scan and guess what?
They can't confirm anything. I found out that the reason they called me back so soon was that they wanted to rule out ectopic pregnancy, which they did rule out. So it's the same scenario. Two empty sacs. Told me to go back in two weeks for another scan to confirm the miscarriage.
Somehow I do feel better though. Now I can just get on with my life as normal without the worry of scans and tests and if I have a natural miscarriage with in these two weeks all well and good. If I don't miscarry before that scan it will at least be conclusive on that day. I would be 11 weeks by then, so if there is still nothing to see there will be no doubt. Not that I feel any doubt anyway, it's just the hospital protocols. Having that two week date at least gives me a schedule to work with.
Best wishes to everyone going through hard times. Let's look forward to better days ahead.