total headwreck, empty sac 11 days ago, embryo 6wk there today...

[SuperGlue]

It was very hard to put this into a title but basically I had a dating scan 11 days ago when i reckoned i ought to have been 9 weeks pg. In the scan there was an empty embryonic sac measuring 7 wks but no yolk or fetal pole. The sonographer said it was most likely a miscarriage but that I would need to come back in 10 days to see if there was any growth during that time as a protocol.

I have spent the past 11 days in total turmoil and limbo. Waiting any moment to miscarry etc.

Went back today for the second scan expecting to be taken in this week for a d&c only to find that the sac had grown in the 10 days and there was now a yolk, fetal pole and an embryo measuring just 6 weeks. No heartbeat but she said heartbeat would kick in, if it was going to, over the next 7 days. SO basically she could not confirm that it was a miscarriage at this stage but that we would need to go back this day next week to see if there is a heartbeat. If not it will be confirmed then.

She was fairly certain that there was a problem with the development of this pregnancy and that the most likely scenario would be that it would develop this far and trail off and we would not find a heartbeat on Monday.

I just can't get my head around it all. Even if my dates were out a bit, I didn't think it was possible to be out that much.

Has anyone else ever gone through this?

I feel like my head is about to explode trying to take it all in / work it all out and another 7 days waiting stretches out in front of me..........

Oh gingerbreadmam I am so sorry to hear that it has been confirmed for you and I know that the wait for things to happen naturally is agonising. I am really sorry. It is a very hard road, but I hope it happens as quickly and easily as it possibly can do under the circumstances. Please keep us posted if you feel up to it. I have def found this thread very very helpful. And strangely comforting. I will be thinking of you in the coming days xx

fromeasttowest my god, what a rollercoaster for you. It is so like what happened to us (with only one sac mind you!). I was sure we were going in last monday to have the MC confirmed having seen a totally empty sac 12 days before and then out of nowhere we got the news there was a 6wk embryo in there. I had grieved and cried myself sick for the 12 days so this now threw a whole other level of confusion onto things. And, at the same time, tje sonographer was saying, in as nice a way as she could, that we should not get hopes up, in her opinion it would not be a viable pregnancy. BUt due to the growth they had to give it another week.

I shall keep everything crossed for you that there is some glimmer of hope when you are rescanned. x

wonkylegs how are you this evening? I hope you are ok x

Gingerbreadmam, you are such a ray of optimism, I really hope you get a successful pregnancy very soon.
Superglue, you and me with our hearts in our mouths for Monday....

thanks superglue. thoughts r with you also. if youre baby grew that much under all that stress and worry lets hope theres a strong one in there.

also fromwest this is the good thing about this wait, you still have hope and as long as you can prepare yourself for the worst i think keeping some hope is harmless. give yourself time to think about what if everything is actually alright. it might pull you through.

i am now in the oooh cant wait for another bfp camp which when this passes is an exciting place to b i guess. little things make me think its a good thing. silly things that if i was still pregnant would never enter my head in a million years but find comforting now like the time of year baby would be born and things like that. thinking of you all.

I know we are still waiting for confirmation or anything to actually happen but DH & I are pretty much convinced the outcome won't be good in another 2wks as the odds are so much against it. So last night we decided we were going to plant a tree in the garden for this baby. We have chosen one & decided where it will go & I am going to buy it today. I need something to be positive, to grow out of this experience and to remember always. It's a bit daft but I feel I need to do something and this feels like something beautiful to come out of the misery if that makes sense.

Well I'm in limbo land too. Had a rescan today (should have been 9 weeks although I do have a 32-34 day cycle). Measured 6 wks 6 days and we saw a baby with a hb.

But she really struggled to capture it on her machine which she explained was because it was so small. To be honest I could hardly see the flicker.

She has said that we should have another rescan in a week just to have another look at the hb to make sure it is nice and strong. She said that she was going to put down on the results that the hb was slow to ensure that I could have another scan - she said if she didn't say this her manager would wonder why I was having a rescan.

She seemed positive and said things had progressed but just feel in limbo. In some ways wish I had never even gone for an early scan - at least at 12 weeks scan you know either way. Dreading the rescan if there is still a slow heartbeat.

Hope everyone else bearing up today x

That is a lovely idea wonky legs. X

Hello all,
wonkylegs I think the tree is a wonderful idea and actually a similar thought popped into my head during the week, we have a nice big garden and we could easily fit in another tree. I just don't know what type. I would like one that would flower in June as that would have been this baby's due date month. I might need to do some research.

fromwesttoeast yes, we have to hold tough till monday now. I am SO glad that it is Saturday and the wait is finally getting less. I am on tenterhooks all the time now as the spotting is increasing - on wed it was faint, faint, faint tiny discolouration when I wiped, this morning it is distinctly pink when I wipe (God, I never imagined discussing this on the internet apologies but there are so few people in real life to talk to about it) I am feeling very pessimistic now about the outcome and I feel that it may well happen itself before I get to the hospital on Monday. And of course eagle-eyed almost 9yr old dd is at home now for the weekend so have to hide all panic / distress from her which is hard.

gingerbreadmam I hope you are ok today? You sound very strong, and I know, only too well, how strength can ebb and flow during this process but I really do hope you are doing ok. You are amazing to be thinking about another bfp and I hope that happens very quickly for you.

I don't think I could go through all this again tbh. We will have to see in time.

hohoho I know it is dreadful waiting but 6 wks 6 days is still very early days for the heartbeat and the baby is still so very tiny at this stage. The fact that there is a heartbeat at all is wonderful and I will have everything crossed that this little ones continues to grow strong and that all will be well next week. It is so good that the sonographer wangled you another scan so soon. Fingers crossed!

Off now to try to tidy up a bit, but I may well find myself flopped on the sofa watching crap tv with dd.....

i dont know if im strong just dont want to dwell on it too much. i am already dreading december it is my 30th then christmas and new year all of which i thought id spend pregnant so i know im going to find it hard so i think thinking about the bfp is the way forward for me. something to cling onto.

i remember when i got this bfp the next day my boobs totally changed and it was so funny and i kind of loved seeing them and knowing what it meant theyre already going back and sounds silly but im gona miss the weird things making me laugh. bring on bfps and weird boobs.

give yourself time to accept what has happened and grieve for it if the worst happens and im sure in time the thought of that bfp and lovely newborn smell, baby shopping etc might just overpower any heartache and worries.

hohoho keep strong take it easy the fact you have seen a heartbeat is promising and i wish you well. try and keep positive until you hear any different. good luck.

I know exactly what you mean gingerbreadmam about not wanting to think too much about Christmas and the fact that you had thought you'd be spending it pregnant. I feel the same way. In fact I have even looked on-line at some lovely dresses that would have been perfect for that 'early bump' stage and the other day I found myself crying over the fact that I would not get to buy / wear them afterall. At a mere 29, you have the world in front of you and I truly wish that you get as many successful bfp's as you desire in the future.

I have longed and pined for that lovely newborn smell for 7 long years but I have to be realistic, I am 44 now and will turn 45 in Feb, I think our baby-making days are behind us and to have gotten this bfp in the first place was such an unexpected but much wanted surprise after all that time and so many unsuccessful treatments along the way. In a way, it makes it even harder for me to get my head around it all. What was the point of it, other than to break our hearts another bit?

Must not dwell on this! Time for some tea and cake for myself and dd.

I just wanted to.give you a virtual hug OP and day that I hope you have a positive outcome on Monday

Thank you theonlyone, I appreciate that hug.

Quick update: it seems to be kicking off here, it was full on blood last time I went for a wee, so I had a shower, and a little cry in there, while dd was watching tv downstairs. I have texted dh and asked him to come home early as I am nervous now. Have an ache in lower abdomen still and am wearing a pad so all armed here. I just wish it wasn't so, but now I just have to get through this and out the other side in one piece.

I asked dh to bring a bottle of wine home with him....that may be a bad idea and I may not want it later when the time comes but no harm in having it!

God..I don't know what to do with myself right now....wish this was over.

Superglue - my heart goes out to you. Glad your DH is heading home.
Look after yourself. Thinking of you.
Hopefully this is the beginning of the end at least physically and you can start to move on. Huge hugs & hand holding.

I'm so sorry

superglue I am do do sorry you are going through this. it's terrible sad. But I'm relived for you that your body is now letting go. A natural miscarriage is so much less invasive than D&C or medical management. And from experience, a faster recovery period.
I so hope this evening passes fast and with as little pain as possible and that you are on the road to recovery.

Thank you all. I have had some sneaky tears hiding in the kitchen. Poor dd is unaware of it all (and ought to be!) so I have lined it up with my best friend whose daughter is dd's best friend that they will take her for a sleepover later so at least she is sorted.

There is nothing much actually happening now and I am slightly worried I am over-reacting and nothing will happen tonight. Feeling a bit bad as I texted that update to my mum who lives 3 hrs away and she wanted to come down on the train with my dad tomorrow morning but due to the distance they would have to stay here with us and much as I love them I simply couldn't bear the thoughts of having them staying at such an intensely private time so I said no, I was ok. But I know she will be up there fretting and worrying. God, the guilt. I just want dh and no-one else and the space and freedom to cry whenever I want without an audience.

Oh superglue. Thinking of you and glad that you have managed to get your daughter sorted out for tonight. You must do what you need to and your mum will understand. Hopefully things will happen soon so you arr not waiting too long.

Will be thinking about you.

Superglue, I hope your dh looks after you. to get through this.

Dh is home no and dd is showered and hair washed etc (in fairness she does it all herself but still). Dh has a homemade pizza in the oven for dd before she goes, the fire is lighting and she is watching a starwars dvd.

I have a cup of tea and 2 slices of aldi stollen and feel better now he is here.

Things are similar to day one of a regular period but crampy so we will see how the evening goes - thank god for xfactor and I'm a celebrity and possibly a glass of wine. I am being well looked after and I really do appreciate the good wishes. The internet is a marvellous thing when it comes to stuff like this. To think of a sort of invisible but strong network of support from women all over the place, all joined by one common thing...well it is quite amazing!

I will keep you all posted x

Thinking of you SuperGlue

Ah Super. Another virtual hand hold from me, whatever might be going on now. I'm 44 and was you in May. Saw HB at early scan (after bleed), offered congratulations and it was all over within 24 hours, witnessed by DD (3) - what's that red thing in the toilet Mummy? Is it our baby?

I'm really sorry that you're in this position. It's too cruel and no one should have to be there. I hope you get some answers to what is going on by Monday.

oh resipa it is so hard, sorry you had to go through this too. And how difficult to go through it with your little dd. Seems so hard to have seen the heartbeat and then for it to happen anyway. We have not seen any heartbeat at all yet so I suppose that is something.

I am logging off now to go lie up on the sofa. Dh is about to drop dd over to our friends house as they will be home from 7.30pm and we will see what happens later. Thank you everyone x

thinking of you superglue so glad your dh is there with you for love and support! enjoy ur trashy tv and if you need virtual support u know where we all are!

Sorry it's so hard Superglue. I agree with Sizethree that a natural miscarriage at home may be the better option, if it has to end. It is what I would hope for myself. At least at home you have comfortable surroundings and privacy.
My own bleeding has increased a little over the last 24 hours, so now it's like a light period. But I don't feel the end is anywhere in sight for me yet.
Thinking of you.

How are you this morning Superglue?

Hi fromweasttoeast thanks for asking. Things are pretty much the same, bleeding has increased but is similar now to the first day or so of a period. My tummy feels very sore and sensitive though and crampy.

I found it very hard to sleep last night, couldn't get my mind to switch off. DD is away till about 7pm so I had a rest this morning and have now had a shower, face mask (my skin is in shite) and washed and blow dried my hair, even put a bit of make-up on so I don't have to stare at my bad skin!

Feel totally wrecked and am glad dh is here today.

How are you doing yourself? Hope you and everyone else is ok.