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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

Recurrent Miscarriage Support thread 13 - tests, treatment, trying again

986 replies

bakingtins · 02/11/2014 19:44

Welcome everyone! A thread for anyone who has experienced recurrent miscarriages and is in need of information, companionship, tea and sympathy. Newbies welcome to join at any stage.

Start with the traditional recap please......

OP posts:
Boozle80 · 04/11/2014 18:35

Bollocks. Lots of pink cm :(. Here we go again - knew it was too good to be true :(

dildoos · 04/11/2014 18:51

Boozle is it the same as others? Try resting with legs higher than uterus to get all oxygen there xx

Marchgirl · 04/11/2014 19:33

Sorry to hear everyone is having a rubbish day today Sad
Boozle keeping everything crossed for you that is not going to go the same way. Keep telling yourself - every pregnancy is different.
Belle. Hang in there. Not long to go.try and keep busy and don't worry about symptoms coming and going, I think that's normal so doesn't have to be bad.
Erica. I obviously can't speak from a haematoma point of view, but I think 3 months mentally is a good amount. I left 3mnths between 1 and 2 and went on the pill so I wasn't thinking about ovulation etc and that was def the best thing for me. Between 2 and 3 I didn't leave a gap and regretted it as I wasn't emotionally ready for no3 when it happened.
curtains, glad to hear you have had a more positive experience with the specialist, good to have a plan in place. and also good that things are starting to move down. fingers crossed it will complete soon Sad

dildoos · 04/11/2014 19:38

Thank you March and cloud,
March I am about to read your link now, and cloud, I am now going to delete my Facebook page and claim was just bored that way I haven't offended anyone in particular HmmAngry
As you can see still not coping well with SIL, as the statuses have continued through out the day! Moaning about lack of sleep, midwife turning up and just generally anything! Get a grip woman!
hi to everyone else, now going to peruse the thread xx

Boozle80 · 04/11/2014 19:42

Enroute to St Mary's - they said to come in and they'd try to find the source of the bleed. The others were MMC but I had a little bit of this with the last one plus quite low down period pains. Damn it, really hoped this was a sticky one :(

dildoos · 04/11/2014 19:43

Flen sorry to hear about your time at the moment, that's really tough for you to deal with am sure.
Sometimes those closest to us can say all the wrong things without even sparing a thought. I often find myself saying " actually no you don't understand!"to my mum and sisters when they try tell me that they understand with all their children and no miscarriages. It must be tough for them watching us all go through it but at same time they should seek advice on how to help us Hmm

dildoos · 04/11/2014 19:48

Cloud, what a shockingly insensitive friend you have Hmm you really can't believe people who have been through it say such stupid things!
Crumbs I think we all need an insensitive friend/family cull xxx

dildoos · 04/11/2014 19:50

Boozle I have absolutely every cross able part of my body crossed for you. Hugs BrewThanks

Boozle80 · 04/11/2014 19:57

Thank you :) me too - fingers crossed it's just burrowing in super far. Experience tells me otherwise though :( xx

Flen · 04/11/2014 20:19

Boozle thinking of you, sending hugs.

Belle give yourself a thing a day to do, that helped me. And also taking it right back down to getting through a minute at a time. I really feel for you.

longestlurkerever · 04/11/2014 20:29

Boozle, everything is crossed for you.
Welcome ericaand so sorry for your loss. I have only waited for one af before trying again each time (though has generally taken me a few months to get pg). The fear of it all happening agaolin is huge but not trying doesn't stop me obsessing.

belle I will join you in the scan angst. I have one tomorrow and am bricking it. Have gone and let myself get my hopes up this time but it is 2 weeks since last scan. Plenty of time for things to go wrong. Also have 12 week scan on tues though I will only be 11.5 weeks. Terrified of them finding problems there too.

dildoos · 04/11/2014 20:34

Belle and long I hope he time passes very quickly for you both and that all is how it should be on screen. X

tannyLoo · 04/11/2014 20:38

Boozle crossing everything I can. We're all here for you...

*Flen you're welcome to the book. The other one is called "Avoiding Miscarriage" if you're interested. Or anyone? PM me.

It's funny, I still struggle with going for a scan, as it has loads of associations for me, and I hated my last appointment when they were still seeing EPU clients. I sat there, wishing my bump away...

I have got narky on fb before, not that it does me many favours, but hiding, defriending and ignoring has got me through. And to be fair, I was filling my newsfeed with self congratulatory statuses and scan pictures with DS2. It was only when life on the other side became the norm, I realised how hideous it was...

tannyLoo · 04/11/2014 20:46

Erica I've done both - ploughed on through, and taken a break. For me, taking a break was the best decision, but it's worth reading my history to see why. I needed to get my head together and had acupuncture and some herbal remedies to help the healing process. The 5th MC hit me like a bulldozer, and it was my third in quick succession.

That said, we all process things differently, and my reasons for miscarrying may be totally different to yours. Good luck, whatever you do.

Justonemoretime · 04/11/2014 21:01

Boozle, how are you? What did St Mary's say? Hope it's nothing serious. Hand holding. What meds are you on? It might be something to do with that? Or more IB?

Erica, you wait as long as you need to. Most people I've spoken to say to wait until one AF after your mc, but your situation might be different so go with what your consultant says. Mostly the one AF is advised for dating purposes, really. But take the time you need to heal both physically and emotionally.

From the woman who ended up almost delivering her sister's baby, this RMC can deeply impact and strain relationships if those around you aren't aware and considerate. For the one RL person who really didn't get it when I asked her to back the fuck off I just wrote her a very frank email explaining exactly and specifically why her behaviour was so upsetting for me. We've made it up now but we didn't speak for months. I always click 'I don't want to see this' or 'hide all from' when it comes to bumps and babies on fb. I don't think they are any the wiser. But then I go and post something like this, because I am naughty and I ca't resist.

Erica21 · 04/11/2014 21:07

Thanks tannyLoo found your history and you sure have been through it, sorry for your losses. I am tempted to head back for acupuncture to try and normalise hormones etc.

Just another quick question sorry...
After first ERPC I didn't bleed, but my 2nd yesterday (3 months after 1st) has left me bleeding like a period but bright red.
Is it likely that I'm bleeding due to doing too much by causing trauma? I thought I would expect dark red blood like end of period if I was healing. Very bloated and crampy tonight. Sorry I don't want to sound naive but just a v different experience to last ERPC. Thanks xx

dildoos · 04/11/2014 21:26

It's reassuring to know that I am not completely crackers in the feelings of FB and just thank you I read your link it is so true and feel maybe that would have been an awesome post!

Erica time is a great healer sometimes, we have taken 4 months off whilst waiting to go to recurrent miscarriage clinic and seems to have helped with my body to recover got some regular af's behind me since the last MC ( sadly 7 in total) I often think though only a baby will help us all mentally recover?
It's so hard , I don't think I know what's best for me let alone anyone else but I do wish you well and here to listen.

Hugs Thanks

Flen · 04/11/2014 21:30

Erica I had a D&C two weeks ago and only stopped bleeding yesterday. The blood was bright red to begin with, then dark red with clots (sorry TMI!) and then like old blood. I don't know if they are comparable procedures though...

Erica21 · 04/11/2014 21:41

Thanks Flen I think ERPC is just the newer longer acronym for D&C or 'scrape' as so many people delicately refer to it as Confused thanks for sharing your experience though, I think my 2nd procedure had more to remove, I've got a massive bruise area below my belly button where the doc must have pushed really hard with the ultrasound scanner too :(

dildoos you have seriously been through it too, I am so sorry for your hideous journey Flowers you are right, I guess no one knows what is right except for a successful pregnancy to make everything better.

I know FB is great for some things, but I can seriously say my life is better without it :) I have to work hard to maintain my friendships as i don't get all the instant updates but it works for me :) xx

Justonemoretime · 04/11/2014 21:43

I've always bled for a week or two (longer once when I had retained products) after erpcs. If it goes on for more than a couple of weeks or you get an irritation or itch or a foul smell, see your GP as it may be an infection. Otherwise 10 days to a couple of weeks sounds normal to me. If you have less, good for you Smile

Justonemoretime · 04/11/2014 21:46

lucky you if they did it with ultrasound guidance! They do it blind where I live, I had to really put my foot down to get the u/s treatment, and only because they made such a bloody mess of me the time before. Turned out I had a septum in there which no one knew about at the time but it explained a lot later on!

Erica21 · 04/11/2014 22:03

Thanks Just my first one was done blind apparently, didn't see the doc afterwards. I wondered if that was because I ended up MC at home first and there was only a little 'product' left on the u/s. Mondays ERPC was done by the gynae doc I saw when I first presented to the emergency gynae dept with heavy bleeding. She came to see me after the op and explained she'd used the u/s scanner and told me what she'd found/ how much blood I'd lost etc. much more reassuring to meet the doc who did the procedure even if I am in more pain now :)
Can I ask what the septum is? I've seen it referred to on several posts but not sure what it is xx

Original poster
bakingtins · 04/11/2014 22:27

boozles crossing everything for you.

erica a septum is where there is an extra 'wall' in the uterus, so instead of being an inverted pear shape it is anything from heart shaped to completely divided into two. It can cause problems with lining being thinner in some places so dodgy implantation, or if the uterus is divided there is not enough room for baby to grow so could cause problems later in pregnancy.

longest good luck tomorrow and belle hang in there.

OP posts:
Purplefrogshoes · 04/11/2014 23:22

boozle crossing everything for you

Good luck longest

Erica21 · 04/11/2014 23:43

Thank you bakingtins that's really interesting. When I went for my first scan after starting the bleeding the sonographer asked if anyone had ever told me I had an arcuate uterus. The next sonographer queried it but no one confirmed it.

Good luck boozle x