Recurrent Miscarriage Support - tests, treatment, trying again - thread 10

[bakingtins]

Welcome everyone - pull up a chair! A thread for anyone who has suffered multiple miscarriages and is in need of information, moral support, tea or sympathy. Newbies very welcome.

Can we start the thread with a recap of where we are all up to again, please?

Iwait welcome and don't worry about not wanting to be here - none of us would have chosen to be in this club, but it is full of wonderful, supportive, tough and tender women.

resipsa I am so sorry to hear about your DH. I would deffo ask him to freeze some sperm then you have options later, it's not committing you to anything. We had a poster called latebloomer who went through something v similar a couple of threads back, I have PM'd her to see if she will come back and offer you any wisdom from her perspective.

Thanks Baking. How's motherhood?

Chaotic! Baby Faith is no trouble, my DS2 is being very four at the moment so can't wait for him to go to school in September and let me have baby cuddles in peace. F is most photographed baby in the history of the world, I'm very conscious how precious she is and how lucky I am to be able to complete my family.

PS Let me indulge in the falsehood that 3 cannot be worse than 4 for a while. If I hear 'pooh' followed by hysterics in reply to 'what would you like to eat' once more this week, I'll scream.

Doh! 4 cannot be worse than 3.

Heh heh. I have just had the world's biggest tantrum as in the drama of yesterday I left dd's birthday present in the middle of the living room floor. In an innocuous looking box mind you but that didn't deter her from investigating, obviously. Now she is desperate to play with the peppa pig camper van right now. I relented and gave her daddy pig early (not my finest parenting moment) but she was in hysterics about the idea that I have hidden the rest of it till her birthday.

Luckily she has crashed out and left me to ponder my latest dilemma - to work or not to work tomorrow. Had booked the day as leave as it was supposed to be my early scan and I wanted time to wallow in misery/party till dawn depending on the outcome. But I have been off today so could cancel leave and work from home (saving leave for a nicer occasion) or have another day mooching about and getting the house in some sort of order, and maybe going for lunch with dh if he hasn't cancelled his day off either. Tempted by the latter on the basis I have stacks of leave now I don't need to tack it on to mat leave but made several people go to some trouble to get my work laptop to me so I could work from home.

Sorry for hogging the thread-dh is out tonight and I am feeling a bit restless.

Take the day off - no one will thank you for working. Mooch and lunch sounds great.

Yes, think I might do that. Feeling a bit rough right now anyway (NOW I get morning sickness ffs!). Can always use vitally important laptop to determine that nothing earth-shattering has come in and put my out of office on.

Welcome new comers... I'm sorry that you've ended up here but your in good company. I'm not great help as I'm just entering the realm of rpl, and doctors don't take my chemicals and age seriously. However I will chime in here and there.

Resipsa, I'll keep you and hubby in prayer.

Longest, we all have our moments!lol It will pass and if you take tomorrow for yourself, make yourself happy. hope the morning sickness passes.

Baking, your son may have touch of jealousy. My mom would force cuddle us all so no one felt left out. The way this works is after a few minutes the older children get bored and find something to do! lol (cruel and unusual punishment) I'm sure he will come around.

no need to waste leave lurker

I take my time off as sick leave and write miscarriage on the self-certification forms...

After number 4 I stopped hiding... actually after number 3 I stopped hiding (as I was lucky to have my DD on my 4th pregnancy)

Last year did a 5 mile run and got sponsorship for the miscarriage association and sent the justgiving link round my team at work.

Also, my DD would probably LOVE a Peppa campervan but we are thinking of limiting the PP merchandise now... I did buy 14 peppa pants for potty training though...

resipsa, longest & baking Thanks for sharing your opinions. I'm kind of wavering towards C - I'll ask the clinic/gp for the standard rmc tests on the basis that I don't want to continue with further IUI/IVF until we know if there's a reason I can't get past 6 weeks. If they agree I'll try another IUI afterwards. If our 2nd/3rd IUI attempts are unsuccessful or result in mc then I'll go for the nk cells testing before our last chance, the IVF round.

If they don't agree to do the tests on the nhs I'll pursue private testing, but the clinic I contacted said I'd get a call back from the nurse manager and that was two days ago, so not inspiring me with confidence already if it takes that long to reply to a phone call!

Just got a text reminder for the antenatal clinic appointment I should have on Monday.

I thought I was coping. Apparently I'm not

I got the same thing by letter I have. Couldn't face ringing them to cancel just yet. Am also avoiding speaking to my mum, as she is on holiday and don't want to tell her till she is back but can't face putting on a breezy front either. Have decided to take day off though Will log on to check few emAils. Dh is working from home this morning then we will go for lunch and collect dd and her friend from nursery (I look after the two of them on Friday afternoons)

I had those on my last one... even though I called straiht away after my scan...

One hand doesn't know what the other is doing! Is there someone else you can get to call them to cancel it? Or do call them and cry at them (which is what i did) and they need to learn to have more integrated care

I have to wait that's ridiculous, and it's one of the issues highlighted in the mn mc campaign. Why can this not be linked up on your records? So sorry the incompetence of others is rubbing salt in the wounds .

They told me at the EPU on Monday that they had already called all the relevant people and let them know so I didn't have to worry about anything. Apparently the message hasn't filtered through to the automatic reminder service though.

DH, who's been working from home all week, went back to the office today. I dropped DS off at nursery at 9 with my brave face firmly plastered on. Managed to deflect the "how are you?" questions and get out ok (I'd taken him in earlier than normal last Monday as I had an "unexpected hospital appointment" and this is the only other days he goes in). Had a bit of a wobble when I first got back as it's the first time I've been on my own really since it happened. Was just pulling myself together when the text came through. It was never going to be good, but the timing was awful

Ah, yes, I suppose no-one thinks to update the automatic system even if the appointment itself has been cancelled. Still stinks.

I've got my scan in an hour to find out whether it's all gone. I've had seven days of bleeding and it's definitely less today so I'm hoping I'm almost there and it doesn't drag out as long as last time. I need to summon up the strength to stay together enough to ask all the questions I want to get out before dissolving into tears....

While we're at it does anyone know how I can successfully unsubscribe from effing bounty updates? I didn't even want to sign up for them in the first place but slightly dim phlebotomist wouldn't take no for an answer then I tried three times to unsubscribe after miscarriage 2 and they kept sending me jaunty updates about how my pregnancy was progressing. Or not. Have diverted them to spam but still see them sometimes and it's coming up to what would have been my due date.

I thought they had a unsubscribe buton on the bottom...

Also, can't remember if this worked but there is the baby MPS

www.mpsonline.org.uk/bmps/

Welcome to Baby MPS Online

The Baby Mailing Preference Service is here to help reduce the number of baby-related mailings you receive.

Many parents to be are happy to hear from companies who can help them at this exciting time in their lives but in the sad circumstances of the death of a baby, mailings to parents about baby products from well meaning companies can cause unintended hurt.

That's why the Mailing Preference Service provides Baby MPS - a free service that is both sympathetic and effective.

They do Tiny but it doesn't seem to work. Thanks for the link.

Annoying!

Because I sometimes review my spam folder, I think at the time of MC 1 and 2 I created a folder called ZZZ (so it would appear at the very bottom of my list of folders) and filtered out all the baby emails i didn't manage to cancel or wasn't strong enought to go to their websites to cancel so they would go to that folder and be well out of the way

Just spoke to someone at EPU. She's going to chase up why I got the reminder and make sure everything is definitely cancelled. Was really apologetic and sounded quite frustrated as apparently it's something they feel very strongly about and always make sure they do from their end. She's going to find out where in the process it went wrong anyway, so hopefully there won't be any more.

Thanks for the link Tiny that might come in useful. I have managed to so far dodge signing up to bounty though. I gather they're one of the worst offenders.