Pregnant and bleeding

[Worried22]

I'm 12 weeks pregnant and waiting in a walk in centre to see a GP. I have a thread in Pregnancy, but thought I might get more responses here.

I started bleeding a week ago, but today it's much heavier and red. I've got a splitting headache and my temps a bit high. The nurse said they can't do much, they don't scan here. I'm worried the GP is going to say the same and u just need to go home bleeding, not knowing what's going on.

Has anyone experience of this? Can I ask to have an internal, or a scan elsewhere, or go to the early pregnancy unti to be checked out? I don't know what to do, bit scared.

I've brought dd to her after school activity, which I'm regretting now. I'd imagined coming here with a bump, then a baby. I've just seen a pregnant woman and all I could do was stare at her bump.

It's my first miscarriage, I feel bad for those who have more than one. My mh team are concerned as they know how quickly I can go downhill.

I keep thinking I can feel movements

I'm so sorry you are feeling like this, seeing pregnant women is difficult, I will admit that I still,struggle with that. My due date was his week and I am finding seeing them more saddening than it has been in a while. Just acknowledge how you feel, talk about it if you can, if not maybe write it down, or even say it out loud to yourself. It sounds stupid but it helped me to get the feeling 'out' of myself.
Just keep doing what needs to be done, find ways to treat yourself and make small moments of feeling ok.

Are they still going to scan you tomorrow?

I can't sleep, I have so many thoughts going round my head. My belly feels tender, I'm wishing for a miracle at the scan today. I keep telling myself it's a mistake, and even if the scan shows no baby, I don't want to believe it.

I'm probably reading up too much on miscarriage and wonder if stress caused the bleeding. I want to blame myself in a way, I don't want it to be just one of those things.

A miscarriage is usually due to the baby having a problem that meant it could not live.

It is a bereavement. And your bodies hormones will be all over the place, making you feel worse.

Plus you know that ADs take up to 6 weeks before they really help. Remember that you have only just started them, and that in the realy days they can make you feel worse.

You won't feel like this for ever. You will have bad days (and nights) and better days and night when you sleep better. It is normal.

Talk to friends who will be supportive.
Hug your daughter, and explain that you are sad right now - but you will be happy again in the future.

Take the time you need to grieve and recover.

(((Hug)))

(I am depressed too - and on ADs and get insomnia some nights. So here I am)

I hope you are sleeping now

Thanks Donki I think I slept for another hour, just want this scan over and done with. Could feel more cramps and bleeding in the night, keep dreading passing it again. I know I can't, but got a fear it's going to happen again. It was horrific.

Take today 10 minutes at a time if you need to.

You will cope, horrendous as it feels now.

Don't be reluctant to ask for help.

I feel like I'm too calm today. I don't feel emotional, don't feel anything. Had a horrible dream about the EPU.

Oh yes. The vivid dreams...

It can feel emotionally flattening too.

That was awful, worse than I thought. I couldn't look at the screen, the nurses were lovely though. It's just finalised it all, I'm not pregnant anymore.

Ah honey, what a shitty thing to go through. Please don't play the second-guessing game - nothing you or the GP/MW/any of the staff in A&E did or didn't do either caused this or would've stopped it happening. Be nice to yourself in the coming days weeks and months, and surround yourself with as much RL support as you can.

Can I ask why you feel this was your last chance to have a baby?

Because the dad didn't want me to have the baby, we didn't live together and I haven't heard from him. I'm not really young and it will be a long time if I ever get the chance to have another one.

I keep sobbing, then it's ok. So hard.

:( It is hard worried. It's horrible and painful and completely emotionally draining and it feels like it's never going to feel any better but, very gradually, it does. I still cry about my miscarriage occasionally and it is years later. Just allow yourself to hurt and grieve and feel angry. Snuggle up with a duvet, put on a silly movie and just allow yourself to cry and sleep and do whatever you need to do to get through the next few days xo

so sorry Worried

I broke down at the clinic this morning but haven't felt like crying for the rest of the day. Am I ok? Have I got over it that quickly? I feel like I want to cry and be sad, but I've blocked the wkend and this morning out of my mind, and can't think about what happened.

Also my hcg levels are still high so need to go back in a week for a blood test. Is this normal?

With me, my hcg levels dropped very quickly, but (not to be too graphic) I have very fast labours and so had a very speedy miscarriage, it was all complete in 3 hours. When they scanned me there was nothing to see, the only indicator I was ever pregnant any was raised hcg levels on that first day. They reduced quickly and were much lower on day 3. I had to do a normal pregnancy test 2 weeks later to check they were completely normal again by that point.

But I understand that if you a still bleeding then the hcg might still be higher.m

With me, my hcg levels dropped very quickly, but (not to be too graphic) I have very fast labours and so had a very speedy miscarriage, it was all complete in 3 hours. When they scanned me there was nothing to see, the only indicator I was ever pregnant any was raised hcg levels on that first day. They reduced quickly and were much lower on day 3. I had to do a normal pregnancy test 2 weeks later to check they were completely normal again by that point.

But I understand that if you a still bleeding then the hcg might still be higher.m

I haven't got over it quickly, I'm a mess this evening.

I just want my baby back.

:( Wish I could give you a hug. Is there anyone who can come and sit with you? Don't try to get through this on your own.

It's too late to ask someone round. I'm trying to sleep but I can't. The bleeding is getting slighter now, but for some absurd reason I don't want it to. I don't want to get back to normal, it doesn't feel it can be normal. I want to bleed and suffer, and feel the physical pain.

I know some may feel I'm overreacting, I never thought it would be this hard. I feel I'm grieving for a real baby.

You are grieving for a real baby, your baby, who you were carrying. I don't care what people say about stages of development etc, from the moment you either start trying for a baby, or find out you are pregnant, you make images, thoughts and ideas of what this baby will be like, the things you will do together, who this baby might become. So where you lose a baby early or late in pregnancy, the hopes and dreams you had are the same. You have lost them too.

It is ok to be grieving for them, but please don't do it alone, any true friend won't care if you call now. Just call, text and ask. Most people are happy to help and would hate to think of you alone and suffering.

Remember we are here if you need us.