Recurrent miscarriage support - tests, treatment, trying again - thread 8

[Bakingtins]

Welcome everyone, pull up a chair! A thread for anyone who has suffered multiple miscarriages and is in need of company, information, moral support, tea or sympathy.

Can I suggest we start page 1 with a recap of where we are all up to, because my fuddled head can't keep track?

Hello... Last time I posted I was having a hard time. I thought I had had a chemical pregnancy - symptoms disappeared overnight. After Baking's sensible advice about taking charge of what I could, I did test and as I thought, it was negative.

Not much has changed. I feel sick kinda constantly but low key and while I've had cramps, they don't feel like AF about to start. Took another test today to rule it out and ...um. BFP. I burst into tears. I can't believe that this will turn out ok. I just don't see it. Last Christmas was one of the worst times of my life, it honestly was (MMC discovered wkend before Christmas on edd of a previous mc). I've found Christmas to be so difficult this year and suddenly its like a rerun.

Ahem..I do need to woman up here, its clear.

Told my mum who was thrilled but did say "oh if it goes wrong then Ill be devastated just like I was last time" which I know was meant to be empathetic but did make me . Not about to tell any others - me, DP and my parents - parents necessary simply to help scrape me off the floor when it goes wrong.

Is this terrible of me? All of this 'it won't work out' stuff? I don't mean it to be but in my heart of hearts its how I feel. I know I need to be pregnant to get a baby, I just feel like a gigantic failure at the pregnancy thing. I was even thinking of going to the gp to talk about antidepressants as I've felt so hormonal down the last few days but I've held off as I wouldn't ttc while I was taking them.

Practically I've done everything wrong (no folic acid yet, no aspirin as I'm not convinced about my consultants off the record suggestion, coffee, alcohol, hot hot baths). I'll call the consultant tomorrow and ask for the high strength folic acid script and to find out if any of the bloods had shown anything (I know shes waiting until the karotyping is back before she sees me again but if any of the quicker ones show anything, I want to know now). I also want to ask about some regular bloods to get me through Christmas? Do you think they might? Just knowing that the hcg was going up instead of down would make my crazy a lot easier to handle...

Lastly. I joined this thread a few weeks ago cos I needed someone to talk to, and although Ive only posted a couple of times, I feel so much better for talking to you all. If I've said anything silly above, I don't mean to, its just I'm a bit scrambled

congratulations worry ! It's entirely understandable to have very mixed feelings about a BFP, it's very vulnerable back in the firing line. I think it would be fair to ask for HCG bloods if that would reassure you, and I'd also ask about an early scan. At 6-7 weeks you would hope to see a bean with a HB. If you are a patient at a RMC clinic they ought to offer regular scans and TLC, even if you have no firm diagnosis, it's been shown in studies to make a difference to outcomes. Try to think positive, to see a HB would be a fab Christmas present. Everything crossed for you!

Baking enjoy your tonic & tonic :)

Squiz thank I'll have a look at them vits I've been to boots today and got some folic acid & vit d which are tiny just to tide me over until I can manage something else, I feel guilty for stopping the pregnacare but I can't keep food down so I've got no chance of swallowing them huge things!
Hope you enjoy your boozy night out it will be good to let your hair down and have fun ttc over christmas

worry congratulations on your bfp totally understand your fears I feel like that all the time I also feel the same about christmas as I started to miscarry on christmas day last year. Don't worry about coffee no vits etc I wasn't strict with myself when ttc I tried to be relaxed and I had done it all by the book previously and it didn't work out so I thought stuff it. It won't hurt to ask for regular bloods ask your consultant if they can arrange anything mine sorted out regular scans which I find scary at the time but it's good to know in early pregnancy if things are progressing as they should be. I hope everything works out for you this time :)

Congratulations, Worry! FX for you.

Its scary to contemplate going down that road again... One minute I'm hopeful, the next, I'm thinking 'Why am I even thinking about putting myself through this again??!!

So need a glass of something. Re-set the clock on the 2WW after EWCM (LOTS of) this morning. Immediately jumped DH. Silly cycle. Probably won't work 1st time, but if it does it will probably coincide with all of the bank holidays, and I need to get back to St Mary's for the repeat TEG test. Need to chill out!

Worry congratulations on the bfp! Totally totally get where you're at. Today you're pregnant, and it's ok to be petrified about what's round the corner. I hope you are able to focus on other things, Christmas is quite a good distraction!

Butterfly good luck tomorrow. Sounds like you're having some great symptoms!

Baking, Just, Squiz and anyone else I missed off, thank you. I am particularly interested to hear about coccyx injuries. I fell downstairs last year when I was pregnant and had my first mc a week later. My coccyx was damaged but never checked and still hurts, a year and 4 MCs later. Hmmm.

Got myself a load of supplements and will talk to my gynae at my rmc appt and fight off any urges to get upduffed for a while...

worry congrats. Do not worry about doing things "wrong" ... How many unexpected bumps have mum tippling or eating runny cheese for a few weeks? We tear ourselves up so much - what we do from bfp is in our hands, nothing else. Sounds like you're doing the right thing with folic acid from now.

And the fear is SO normal. I was glad when AF arrived this month as I was terrified of Xmas pregnancy. The human body doesn't know what month it is so won't affect your chances. Sending you positive vibes!!

Best of luck Worry. Totally normal to feel a bit panicked. I'm not even pg and I feel I'm doing all the wrong things for any future offspring

Thank you very much

For the first time I felt a little happy this evening and then felt angry for being happy, as if I'm jinxing myself by wanting it to work out. I'll sleep on it and try and calm down. I admit I felt a little tearful reading your posts saying congratulations - I am definite I don't want to tell anyone else irl...

My phone keeps skipping when I scroll to check names. I'll be a bit more sensible in the next few days I hope.

worry congratulations, good luck with scan butterfly hope everyone else is doing ok xx i am trying to distract myself from pregnancy/babies as can't TTC until after 30 march but consultant has called me in next week I don't know why as he said he wasn't going to do any tests and my mp tests results are 0

Good Luck today Butterfly, your symptoms sound very encouraging.

Hope all is well Purple, and your consultant has good news!

Tanny, my coccyx injury was about 13 years ago, long before I even thought about starting a family. It hadn't bothered me for years but then 18 months ago my reflexologist noticed that one leg was sitting slightly longer than the other and it turned out that it was my pelvis that was slightly misaligned. Apparently getting it put straight did increase blood flow to the area, but I honestly couldn't swear to it. I have been assured time and time again that a pg with no issues is very robust and can withstand a hell of a lot. A fall or bump (e.g. car crash) in the early stages, whilst scary, isn't going to directly cause an MC; your pelvis is a protective cage full of soft tissue and tendons to protect your uterus and the embryo. Please put any thoughts of blaming yourself out of your mind. Try and let yourself off the hook. :)

All was well at scan measuring 10 weeks and a couple of days as the sonographer said. Baby was wriggling and moving it's arms and legs :)

hooray!

butterfly hooray for wiggly arms n legs!

Butterfly Yay! Glad it went well.

Brilliant news, Butterfly

Yay Butterfly! Great news!

Butterfly, out of interest (sorry if you have said previously) did you do anything different/have any interventions this time?

Just an update from me. I'm 4+5 today, with a FRER showing test line slightly darker than control.....
I had an early mc on 7 Nov, after 7 days of faint +ve results on FRER, so have conceived in my WTF cycle, but this time it seems to be progressing. Having said that, my first mmc showed as a very strong +ve on day 27 of my (usueally 36-day) cycle and was very dark even before the control line appeared....
So still not counting my chickens.....but fingers crossed!
x

Ruggle good news that the lines are getting stronger keeping my fingers crossed for you will you get an early. scan or anything?

Just I'm on progesterone pessaries until 12 weeks this time as a "let's try it and see" approach I've also been having accupuncture since march, it's not cheap but if it helps it's so worth it, I enjoy that hour of me time it really relaxes me too.

Thanks for the info Butterfly. I agree about the acupuncture, I think the relaxation on its own is probably really effective. Does your acupuncturist give you herbal remedies too? Mine does, they seem to be innocuous 'balancing' herbs and I'm going along with it; I've googled the names on the packets and there doesn't seem to be anything out of the ordinary in there. What do you reckon? She is a Dr, not someone who's just been on a course (although I suppose that is what a doctor is...). She runs a proper Chinese Medicine practice. Got a +ive OPK today... it could all be happening right now.... that's a rather creepy thought! :)

Thanks butterfly

I'm not sure I want an early scan. The Royal Free said I could go for one at 6 weeks, but if things don't work out I'd rather nature take it's course than have to wait it out with the knowledge that it hasn't worked out, if you see what I mean.

No mine doesn't give me herbs she doesn't do herbs at all so not just beacuse I'm pregnant, when I first mentioned to my consultant that I was thinking of going for accupuncture she said it was a really good idea but I wasn't to take any herbs without her checking what they were first but she would rather no herbs. My lady isn't chinese either buy she runs a busy accupuncture practice and she did some training with Zita West which I was impressed with. Ooh jump on oh quickly if you have a + opk!!

Ruggle I know what you mean early scans are pretty stressful I get myself wound up but I couldn't go all them weeks without one either but that's me. I hope the next few weeks fly by for you.

Ruggle I go to the Royal Free as well...

But I had to ask a GP for my 8 week scan...

Congratulations!