Recurrent miscarriage testing and beyond.. Part 6.. Over here!

[orangebowl]

We have filled up the last thread so here is the next.. Deep breath and grit your teeth for the roller coaster of emotions that continues... Hope tea and butterfly and all find it!

LandsN, is it worth ringing and trying to get a sooner appt with mw or check out symptoms with your epu? That's such a shame about your meal out. I know when I'm not feeling too great I can also make wrong choices, how frustrating. I hope you can get out for a make-up meal soon!

Hope your counselling appt later is helpful Butterfly. What a wonderful alternative to be thinking about!!!!

I had in the back of my mind all day that I could have had a 3 month old, but actually no more than most days so it wasn't too bad. I did just feel really fat all day though, not helped by wearing my baggiest clothes and therefore enhancing the dumpy look, and thinking back to how good I felt in my body before we started trying and all the weight I've gained since.

I'm cd20 and 7 dpo. I've been symptom spotting like crazy and for about a 24 hour period I kept getting mild pinching sensations that I'd convinced myself were to do with implantation. I will get a nice bottle of wine in for "in case". I might be getting pre-menstrual. I was just doing a bit of online shopping and thinking hateful thoughts towards the GAP models with their really gorgeous hair and cheekbones!

Hi everyone.

Lands have you had your midwife appointment yet? Those funny spells sound a bit scary. Definitely get your blood pressure checked and maybe your sugar levels and iron also? Hope everything is ok & you're not too stressed.

Butterfly planning a wedding is so exciting!! A lovely thing to take your mind off things and a reason to be pleased if you're not pregnant! It's fab when you realise you've not thought about mc for a while isn't it - I had a busy work day with loads of meetings a couple of weeks ago and it was great to be normal and not think about stuff. I normally work at home so have far too much time to be miserable and google.

Twenty glad I'm not the only one who's a bit emotional! The silliest things set me off at the most inappropriate times! I would also have a 5 month old or a new born and seeing friends with babies those ages is really hard. So instead I'm kind of hibernating.

I'm also symptom spotting like a crazy person. Think I'm 11 dpo today (assuming ovulation happened on the last smiley face day?). Been cramping on and off but had that in my anovulatory cycle so not sure it means much. Yesterday I had some brown spotting which totally panicked me. However wondered if could be implantation bleeding? Don't want to get hopes up though and never had it before so could just be hormones up the spout again. Argh. What do you think??

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for both of you! :)

You both have promising symptoms tea that does sound like it could be ib, I know they say it's not that common but I've had it 3 out of 4 times. Don't want to get your hopes up though so I'll say no more! When are you going to test?

Twenty I know how you feel about feeling fat it's so annoying that you get all the extra pounds but no baby! I lost 2 pounds. this week so I'm on the right track would like to lose another 10 or 12 though.I hope the pinching sensation is a good sign for you!

It's very strange not ttc I think I'm around ovulation I've had ewcm all weekend and am having one sided short sharp pains as I type it's difficult not to just dtd I'd normally be waiting desperately for this and it makes me a bit sad. We have dtd a couple of times just using withdrawl I really must sort something out that's a bit more reliable.

Tea, I think you start counting after the smilely face, i.e. if you have a smiley face on Monday (and if you ovulated that day, it could have been the next day!) then Tuesday would be 1dpo ... so could you be just 10 dpo? I read that implantation can take up to 12 days so it's worth hanging on to see what happens. When are you going to test??? (you have powers of steel when it comes to poas - when it's my turn I'll poas on anything moving!).

Butterfly I also have sat through ovulation time while recovering from a mc. It's hard. It sounds like you're doing good things though to lose some weight and all that helps moodwise. I've just given up on my size 10/12 stuff for the time being and cleared it all out so that I can at least wear everything I can see rather than feel crap everytime I try something on and it doesn't fit. When we are finished trying then I will lose the weight.

As for symptom spotting I am needlessly a little bit tired. I say needlessly as I've been taking it easy and getting a lot of rest lately. I'm hoping of course that this indicates an increase in hormones in the right direction. I can poas Thursday (10dpo), which means I will start poasing tomorrow. I am grateful for internet cheapies!!!!!

After saying I was ok with the 2ww I'm now officially losing it!!

Was going to test on Thursday which I thought was 14 dpo. But just had a teensy bit more spotting. Wouldn't even say was spotting more like dark cm (so sorry for tmi!!). So now desperate to poas! So worried its AF starting.

Twenty I had smiley faces on weds 27 & thurs 28 so was assuming the second one was ovulation - I also tested on the Friday and no smiley. Did loads of tests as never used them before! So do you think the Thursday is more likely to be d-day?

Butterfly I find it so hard not ttc if I think I ovulated. Especially as ovulation happens so infrequently for me! I do think its good to have a break though and you are still doing positive things like the counselling & acupuncture.

Hi Buggerlugs. I think one of the difficulties in dealing with rmc is that there doesn't seem to be a consistent approach. Every doctor seems to have a different view and so many theories are not properly tested. Many treatments are prescribed because they won't do any harm but they might possibly help.

So my (entirely unprofessional) view on your proposed treatment:
Aspirin - my gynae suggested taking in my last pregnancy (which failed) as I might as well. I don't think it does any harm although I have read on here that some doctors think it can affect implantation so best to take from a bfp. I've read it can help where there's a clotting issue and makes no difference to a pregnancy where there isn't.

Clomid - I've not taken it as I also ovulated albeit infrequently. I does have side affects though and afaik you should only take on a monitored cycle because of the risk of overstimulation. FWIW I always ovulate very late - I think even with DD - & noone seems to think its a big issue. I'm not convinced however and I do worry that it causes dud eggs. But about 4 specialists have told me it doesn't. Who knows!!!

Fragmin - I have no idea sorry but didn't know it was standard to prescribe without any condition being diagnosed. Sorry but I can't remember - how many mc have you had?

IVF with embryo testing - I've discussed this briefly with a genetics counsellor and apparently it has quite low success rates (lower than normal IVF) but is obviously essential for people with diagnosed genetic problems. It's also very expensive. But I guess you can cross that bridge when you come to it.

Out of interest what tests have you had already? So sorry if you've already told me all this!!

Oh and re vit D I think it's another one where there's anecdotal evidence but who knows. I take a huge vit d supplement anyway as I hope it can't do any harm - there don't seem to be many vit d side effects!!

Well I guess it depends on what approach you prefer. I get frustrated as most consultants tell me it will happen. I think because I have a DD already they don't want to do anything which I did annoying as I'd like to have a plan and some treatment!

Hi ladies had midwife today bp is fine got to see consultant when I go for scan wed but have bad back ache today just on one side just hope all is still ok I know I said it before but I don't hold much hope time will tell hope u r all ok xx

Hi Buggerlugs, and that's good news LandsN. I get that you're still cautious so I won't woop, but that's is good news and I'm pleased for you.

8dpo here and a bfn, no surprise, but if I was pg then I had a 30% chance of it showing up today. The wish is drilled into my unconscious brain though as I dreamed last night that I was pg and telling people. I have nooooo symptoms, try as I might to make them up.

What's news with everyone else this morning?

It's probably too early for a bfp Twenty, I never get them til quite late I think (been going through old diaries today trying to figure it out).

News with me is I'm going slightly insane! Still very light brown spotting so feeling stressed that its breakthrough bleeding caused by pcos. Never had implantation bleeding and some websites seem to say its a myth. Bleeding for me has never been a good thing... Anyway am probably 12 dpo ish but not tested as dont want to waste £5 and only have 2 first response in stock!!! Also think its probably too early for me. But literally cannot think about anything else - arggh! Might test tomorrow morning as need to know to start progesterone but have an irrational fear of wasting expensive hpts!!!

Oh and Lands that is good news about the hb. One step at a time but you're are hopefully slowly getting there.

(cheapies from HOme Health UK Tea, £5 for 10 - that's all I'm saying!)

Two of my pg's showed on 10 dpo, one very faint and one strong. I don't get down about a bfn so early though. I'm just a poasaholic!

I don't know anyhting about pcos so I'm just hoping for you. I did have implantation bleeding once, my last pg, but it was a smear and that's all. I think the idea is it's so slight it's easy to miss so it soudns like your pcos theory might be the one???

It is very light. Not when I wipe but a dot on a pad once a day. Today was very pale brown (so so sorry for tmi!!). Only know because I wear a pad every day now to keep an eye on cm!! Sorry am so gross...

I always read threads of people being anxious and stressy about whether or not they're pregnant and I think well you either are or you aren't and there's nothing you can do except wait and test. But now its me I can't take my own advice!!

Wanting and trying for a child is not like anything else. The hormonal surges complicate it. And each pregnancy is a stand alone phenomenon so you can't even be sure of things. It's all a recipe for neurosis!

Just thought I'd check in with everyone. Has been difficult to post as moved house a few weeks back and only just got broadband sorted. I did try to have a discreet check of the forum at work but it's not easy as you don't really want work colleagues seeing you reading a miscarriage forum..!

LandsN, so sorry to read you're having such a stressful time with your pregnancy, but glad everything was looking good yesterday.

Tea and Twenty - Think I'm at about the same time of the cycle as you both. I'm on day 24 today so could probably do a test at the weekend. I've been so stressed this month though that I can't imagine any embryo would want to implant tbh! Have had 3 job interviews, a first and second for one job and then one for another job today... and interviews always make me nervous! Plus lots of house things to sort - electrician coming and telling us our lights might give us an electric shock etc.

Tea, I share with you your dislike of wasting pregnancy tests. I feel such an impatient idiot when I've done one early and it's negative. Like, it's told you nothing because you've done it early so you might still be pregnant anyway! I've still done it loads of times though. One morning I got up, thought sod it I'm peeing on one. Then wiped and there was AF. £5 to tell me what I would have found out 30 secs later!

Thanks everyone for your kind comments scan nerves are kicking in again for tomorrow hope all is ok feeling a bit bloated now hope that's a good sign!! It's been nearly 9 years sing my lg so totally forgot what to expect,
Hope you are all well tonight xx

Oh and guppie I had about 2 years where almost every month I would think this is it poas or at least buy it and af would come but before this bfp I couldn't buy a pack of 2 cos stupidly I would do both in same day as I felt the need as it was sitting there stupid ey I think it does become a obsession I even done more after the bfp lol I done one last week at 7 weeks pg just to make sure the line showed then ended up having scan the next day I started getting pound shop ones cos it was proving very expensive xx

sorry I've been absent too. On mobile so quick update from me.

Tea- sorry you have been feeling so rubbish. I had implantation bleeding with my DS and it was like the first day of a period. Think i tested 4 days after that and got my bfp (but that was nearly 5yrs ago do hard to remember). It's all just such a roller coaster isn't it.

Lands. Will be thinking of you tomorrow. I actually have a scan tomorrow too. 17 weeks if all is well. I really thought that if I got to this stage I would be "normal" again and take it all in my stride but I'm nervous. Not quite as nervous as I was for previous scans but undoubtedly nervous. Will let you know how it goes.

Xxx

Good luck school hope all is well I said to my mil today if all goes to plan I won't stop worrying till I am holding the little mite in my arms even then the worrying carries on all our lives fingers crossed for all of us we deserve it xxx

Good luck LandsN and School for scans today.

I went out with DH last night and we had a really good talk about what to do next. Can't even see my GP for another week but have contacted a consultant who has been recommended and she will see us for an initial private appointment tomorrow, so we've decided to go for it.

Hi everyone.

Guppie - sounds like you've been really busy! It's nice to have things to take your mind off mc isn't it. Glad I'm not the only one with a test obsession! Do you have a good feeling about this month?

School I know you won't really relax until the baby's here and I know how horrible scans are because of all the memories but you've got so much further than before and you'll be able to feel movement soon. Just hang on in there!!

Baking I think you're definitely doing the right thing. You need to find a consultant who will support you and make you feel reassured. It's about feeling like you're doing everything you can to make it happen. And hopefully on the way you will get some answers.

Thanks for all your support. I'm still feeling pretty rubbish to be honest. Yesterday another friend with a dc the same age as mine told me she was pregnant. I suspected she was struggling but it has hit me really hard as I feel so alone. I also still have brown spotting which I just don't think can be a good sign. Even if I do get a bfp just don't think spotting is good and makes me feel so stressed. I hardly slept last night which I know is ridiculous and counterproductive. Hope I snap out of this soon as only been properly trying again for about 3 months just didn't think this would be the hard part. Also totally panicking about age gaps again which I know is ridiculous and out of my hands. And I know sounds very pathetic to those who have no dc. I need some perspective. Or maybe to go and live on a desert island for a bit!!!!