Recurrent miscarriage testing and beyond.. Part 6.. Over here!

[orangebowl]

We have filled up the last thread so here is the next.. Deep breath and grit your teeth for the roller coaster of emotions that continues... Hope tea and butterfly and all find it!

Well my success rate is even worse! But I'm still trying again as my desire for another baby outweighs my fear of another mc. The tests were good as I felt like I was doing something and I saw different consultants who all seemed to think I'd get another baby. Plus I've had some time which seems to have helped my mental state. This board also really helped as I don't feel like I'm the only person out there dealing with this cr@p! I also had a bit of a kick up the bum after speaking to 2 friends who are both suffering fertility issues and don't have any children yet.

Give yourself some time to deal with this recent mc physically and emotionally and then see how you feel. I like to have a plan so was desperate for tests while I waited but its worth bearing in mind that the thrombophilia tests require you to wait around 6/8 weeks after the mc and then results take around 12 weeks. Quite a while to wait when you're ttc.

Please don't be so hard on yourself. You've been through a lot. But you have also had 2 children so your body does work and will in all likelihood do it again!!

I was about to write woohoo LandsN, keeping fingers crossed though as you DID get a good result this morning.

And great you got to hear the heartbeat School!

Tea, I have heard that you can get a surge without ovulating. It's a bitch isn't it. No test for actual ovulation. I have never been diagnosed for pcos, and have not raised it as a possibility. I often spen most of the month with what feels like ovarian cysts. I haven't had that feeling this month, just the pinging sensation I associate with ovulation so I'm hopeful....

Oh wow, there's a lot to catch up on and the break I thought I was having just got cut short so will check in later!

H/b still there but there is another bleed detected in the pouch of Douglas not too sure if that makes m/c more likely got to go back in another week on the plus side it has grown 1 mm in 24 hrs how is everyone today? Xx

Ok well that's good then Lands. Is that bleed near the baby? Such a stressful time for you.

I have just come home from work as had a rubbish rally bad cold - streaming eyes the works! Had it for a couple of days and just exhausted now. Apparently your immune system I lowered when pregnant which makes sense as I am normally never ill and this is the third illness I've had in as many weeks! Very annoying- going to go and have a sleep if I can.

Xx

Have had a chat with my Dad today (retired doctor) and he's really encouraging me to get a referral for investigations and says he'll help out with the cost if necessary (bless - not good at the emotional stuff but always ready to help practically) Does anyone have any experience of recurrent miscarriage investigation in the South-West? Googled it and came up with the Bristol Centre for Reproductive Medicine.
How do you decide whether to put yourself through it all? I have agreed with DH that we can't keep doing this because it dominates your life, but I think if I give up now I'll always feel my family is incomplete and be haunted by what might have been, particularly if there is something simple like thyroid meds or aspirin that might make a difference.

Hi baking. I'm not sure about the south west but I do Agree with your dad that its worth having the tests. I didn't find the testing stressful at all- for me it was a positive thing, trying to do something about it. From a physical perspective it's mainly just (a lot of) blood tests too.

And talking of success rates.. Mine was 20% success rate and since testing I'm now at 16 weeks pregnant and hoping to get that success rate increased!

Good luck. X

Baking I hope I didn't sound too negative about testing. It was a positive thing for me too as it felt like I was doing something and I was relieved to rule certain thing out. It's just that when you said you couldn't go again unless you found something to treat I just didn't want you to get your hopes up too much. I felt like tests were the next logical step and to be honest if we have more mc I will probably go somewhere else for more tests!!

I don't know about the south east I'm afraid but it seems like the best place to go for clotting issues is St Mary's Paddington and the best place for NK cells is Mr Shehata in Harley street or St Helier. There's also Liverpool where school is and I've heard of. Prof gorgy and quenby mentioned on these threads. Sorry if spelt wrong! I just went to my local cons and then someone in Sheffield who I wouldn't recommend and also a clinic in London for scans.

Your GP should be able to sort out some tests though like thyroid, glucose, general blood count etc. Maybe go to your GP first of all and see what they say and what they will do.

Lands so good the hb is still there but must be so stressful for you. Hang on in there. Did the hospital say if they thought mc was more likely?

Twenty I really hope I did ovulate!! Cramps have mostly gone so hope they were related to ovulation and no stupid cysts!!

Lands that's good news the only time I've heard of blood in the pouch is when it's ectopic which yours isn't so maybe it's just one of them things they musn't have been concerned about it x

Hope everyone else is ok?

Welcome to the thread Baking, sorry that you find yourself here. The other ladies have given some good advice and answered your questions so just wanted to say hi x

They couldnt say either way if I would mc just got to have another scan next week to see if it has reduced, they daid I will bleed more but to try not to worry unless it is any different suppose only time will tell xx

Just catching up still...

Butterfly how confusing to hear a theory about super fertility. How do you feel about that? How are you getting on post mc?

Hi Bakingtins, welcome, and sorry to hear you're currently mc'ing. Where are you at in the process? And I echo what Tea said, we've just had the tests and while it's nice that came back showing that for the things they've tested we are fine, it means nothing in terms of changes we can make to get a healthy baby. I don't know about the south west but that's very kind of your father.

And I know what you're all talking about re the fear of mc again - my thinking is, now that I've done it, it is the hardest thing I've had to go through and now that I have three times, with each one being unique and painful in different ways, I feel like it's something that at least I can do. I'm depressed, but I can get through it. Don't know if that perspective helps, it's not the cheeriest of perspectives, but I'm in this until I have to stop, which age-wise is not far off for me.

LandsN, I hope you find some respite over this period, that's a lot to have to manage, I hope you get some rest and can be doing some things that are nurturing.

Afm, I've totally bounced to the other side now and am all hopeful. Recipe for disaster.

Thanks for the welcome, everyone. I think the worst of the MC is over, had pretty heavy bleeding all day yesterday but lighter today. Have not been near EPU this time but have contacted GP and asked it is put on medical record. I'm planning to POAS in a few weeks. Do you think as long as it goes back to negative I am ok to avoid EPU? Have v bad memories there and have found it easier to cope without all the poking and prodding, doesn't actually affect the outcome at all, does it? First MC was in effect a MMC at 10 weeks though I'd had spotting and discharge from 10 weeks, had 2 positive scans then baby died at some point after 8 weeks. 10 week scan, no heartbeat, sent home to miscarry and haemorrhaged at home, ended up having emergency ERPC fully conscious with no pain relief because I was bleeding so much. MC2 I panicked a bit when the bleeding got heavy and went to hospital but apart from prodding repeatedly by lots of very junior doctors they didn't do anything, ended up being given medical management for what one sonographer said was retained product, did nothing except give me horrendous cramps, second scan said there was nothing there. Then they lost my swabs and bloods and I had to have the whole lot redone. I'm not full of confidence in them!
I had a PPH after the birth of my son resulting in a blood transfusion. Would be pretty ironic if I turn out to have sticky blood, seems like once I start bleeding I have no idea when to stop. Does anyone have problems linked to previous transfusion or to ERPC (which I had to treat the PPH)?
I know I'm probably clutching at straws.

LandsN keeping fingers crossed for positive news next week.

Hi Bakingtins, my understanding that a negative pregnancy test means that everything is gone. It is awful having those internal scans and if you're not trusting of you local services then I would also be tempted to avoid them unless necessary. How awful they lost your swabs and bloods!! I don't know what pph is so can't help there. I was told several years back, by a gp testing for something else, that I had sticky blood, but in my recent tests my blood seems fine so I wonder if things can change/improve?

How are things this morning LandsN?

Ladies, can you bring me back to realityland? I just looked up the due date if I get pregnant this month...

Hi everyone I am not too bad this morning got a stinking cold though not bleeding ATM so that's good xx

Baking your experience sounds awful so I'm not surprised you'd rather avoid the hospital. My consultant seemed happy that if my bleeding stopped and I had no pain I didn't need a scan. However I preferred to have them to check everything's gone. Just keep a close eye on things.

As far as surgery affecting mc I think it is possible because one consultant I saw wanted me to have a hsg as I've had one csection and 2 erpcs. I ended up having a sis 3D scan as I thought it might be less invasive. Anyway nothing was found except obviously my csection scar was visible. In Prof Regans book she does discuss physiological causes of mc so it could be worth mentioning. I wasn't convinced it applied to me though as I had a mc before my DD and I know my 2nd mc had triploidy.

Twenty I try hard not to think of due dates but its impossible not to. The 2ww is now getting to me and I keep feeling a bit positive then getting upset as its more likely to all go wrong again...that is if I can even get pregnant.

Sorry for acronyms - PPH = post partum haemorrhage. Just to illustrate the point that I am pretty good at bleeding spectacularly.

Hi ladies how is everyone feeling today, feel all flued up today got some mild cramp in my left side just above my hip bit worrying x

Hi Lands. I feel rubbish today too - had a headache for the past 2 days and feeling quite emotional. Can't decide if its hormones or whether its rational! My friends all have their babies now so feel quite sad that I'm avoiding the get togethers. Plus my mum is just so insensitive about it all. Feel like everyone just forgets and gets on with their own lives because the mc were quite a while ago now. But I think about it constantly and feel upset that its been so long since the mc but I'm still no closer to having a baby. Sorry for the miserable post! I had been feeling quite positive so not sure why its all come crumbling down now!! Feel like just going to bed for a few years!

Hi LandsN, sounds like it's all coming at you, when's your next check up due?

And thanks Tea, I feel grounded again. I got caught out by a mother's day advert. Last mother's day I started bleeding on the Friday morning, just a tiny bit, but went to A&E that evening thanks to MN advice, went to inlaws Sunday because we didn't have a clue what was happening, had to make an awful stop at a garage toilet on the way home, and by Sunday night the bulk of it was over. It was the most disturbing thing I'd ever experienced. I think I mentioned that I'd managed to not realise it would happen ever again? Well, it carries on. A while back I'd made plans to see two friends not realising that of course we'll be going to OH's parents. Just let friends know I made a mistake and can't go. I've never been so dopey. Clearly my ability to live in a world of my own making can reach disturbing heights!

Tea I'm sorry your having a rough time I do totally understand though, big hugs to u xx and twenty I got m/w Monday and scan Wednesday I am loosing hope though cos feeling like this cant b good for baby :( quite a few funny spells too xx

Hi Ladies hope everyone is ok! Tomorrow is probably going to be a crappy day for us all, chins up if anyone needs support I'm sure we will all be here for each other xx

Hope everyone's doing ok today. Its so hard as Mother's Day just seems to be everywhere. Butterfly how are you feeling?

For some reason I've been pretty glum these past few days. Found loads of newspaper articles about secondary infertility online last night which for some reason made me quite sad as its like admitting I'm not like everyone else and am one of those unfortunate women people feel sorry for. I'm so up and down in my emotions at the moment!!

What kind of "funny spells" LandsN? It must feel like the longest wait to Wednesday. Sending big hugs your way.

Sounds like you came across some badly timed info Tea, I'm with you on the rollercoaster emotions.

Butterfly, good idea, how are you? I spent the morning watching tv.

I am dpo 6 and feel like this has been the longest 6 dpo I have ever experiened.

Hi ladies hope today has not been too hard on anyone? Twenty Wednesday seems so far away and I know in my head I am so ready for a repeat of my last 8 week scan I have midwife tomorrow and the funny spells are like I am going to faint ringing in ears feel sick etc might b my blood pressure dropping again as usual quite scary though!! My oh took me out for dinner and I ordered a prawn cocktail and then couldn't remember if I could eat it so had to leave it I was gutted and then the main salad had feta cheese in it and a cheese sauce on it so left that too as I was not sure waste of money x

Hey Ladies well yesterday wasn't as bad as I thought but was a bit sad just about what should have been. Hope it wasn't too bad for everyone else.

I'm going for my first counselling session this afternoon I'm guessing there will be tears I cried on the phone just making the appointment!

We are thinking about getting married we've been engaged long enough and are going to have a look at a venue tonight, going to see if there's availability for this year but if not will do it next year. It would be quite nice if we could do it this year, would give us something else to focus on and would be about a 5/6 month break from ttc. I've got a bit carried away with ideas etc and have spent all weekend scouring the internet for wedding things but I haven't once looked at anything about miscarriage and it's been nice to not think about it, it might be just what we need. Dp said I know what's going to happen now though you will end up pregnant before the wedding!