Ectopic pregnancy support thread

[tasmaniandevilchaser]

Hi everyone, this is a place for anyone who's had an ectopic pregnancy - whether you want to moan, cry, fret or just have a chat with other people who understand. I know there's lots of other good websites on ectopic pregnancies but after hijackingchatting with sunshine on another thread, I thought I'd start one here.

Well I'll get the ball rolling with my story - after a MMC in November (found out at the 12 wk scan that the baby had died at 10 wks) I was just getting myself sorted, having counselling, when I had the ectopic. I know I am lucky in that I have a lovely DD. Having had a normal pregnancy, I knew from the beginning this one was not good and as soon as I got a BFP I was down at the hospital.

After 10 days of mental torture, waiting around, scans, rescans, blood tests, it got too late for the methotrexate (they finally saw the ectopic in a scan on a Friday early evening and the methotrexate wasn't in stock )

I finally had the surgery to remove one tube on the Tuesday. This was the end of February, at first I wasn't sure how I would cope, but I am just plodding on. I know I am lucky that it didn't rupture, but honestly I can't think of having an ectopic as being lucky. Especially after a MMC .

Anyway, come join me if you want to share your story, I have , and

---------------------

Hi there - this thread is a little old. If you'd like to know more about ectopic pregnancies, we've got more information here. MNHQ

she's 3 and a half, so most of her friends have little brothers or sisters. I am getting better at seeing pg ladies, occasionally I look at babies and think if it wasn't for the MMC I'd have a 2 mth old now. Sigh. Though I'm definitely on the road to accepting it all now. Frankly I don't have much choice, I can't change it! Glad you're feeling better too.

Yes, I kind of feel excited for pregnant women now rather than insanely jealous.

I'd have punched anyone who said it but time is a great healer!

Another af arrived today. So gutted. So fed up of this ttc lark now. Don't want to stop ttc but am just over the trying. Big time.

How is everyone else? X

Sorry to hear that ILove. Sending you a big hug x

to hear that Berries. My first AF post-ectopic arrived at the weekend. We're not at the ttc again stage yet. I'm kind of relieved to have a forced break I think. I was I suppose kind of pleased when it arrived as at least things are back to normal down there.

Ttc is not quite the fun you think it'll be years before you start is it?

Hello. I have just had a second ectopic and wondered if I could hang out here for a bit.

My first ectopic was removed along with the right tube in September last year. Last week was spent testing and retesting and scanning and rescanning to diagnose the second one. I had surgery on Thursday night and they saved the left tube.

I am still reeling a bit and haven't quite got my head around what I want to say and ask. iloveberries said that there were some people here who had had two ectopics, and I guess I just want to hear other people's experiences round the op and afterwards, if anyone is about?

Hello Northey, I'm so sorry to hear that you've had another ectopic. It's very good news that they were able to save the tube at least. Did they say if there was a reason for it or just terrible bad luck? I've just had one so hopefully someone will be along soon with more experience but I wanted you to know people are reading and wishing you all the best

hi northey glad you found your way here, I just clicked post on the other thread and thought, oops should have told her about here. Just hang out here and get your head round it all. I think LVJ and nicebeaver have had two, but I think nicebeaver waved us goodbye a while back, and went off into the sunset to enjoy life without tubes. Sorry if that sounds a bit flippant. She was in a good place when she left, hope that you get there soon. Do you have any older DC?

berries, I'm totally in the same boat, fed up with TTC but not ready to give up yet. I'm half convinced that I'll have another EP or that I just won't get pg again. I'm trying to live my life without TTC looming over everything. I normally know to the day when AF is arriving and this cycle I'm not really sure, which is a good sign, means I haven't been obsessing so much over it.

hiya puff, hope that things are good with you.
and hi to ninja, how is everything?

Hi everyone,
I have had a read through most of the posts on here and want to start with saying I'm sorry to all for your losses and hard times.

I'm 27, married and came off the pill last year (Dec '11), had been TTC for around 6 months (as first AF was a while coming after stopping BC).

Went to the DR with bad abdominal pain on one side, wasn't expecting to be PG as periods have been irregular since they came back after BC, and just for some reason didn't expect it. DR did blood test anyway. He rang and said it was positive and early days. Both me and DH were shocked but over the moon!! Had blood tests to check levels - as I was spotting (TMI - brown). Levels weren't rising as fast as they should be so EPAU suspected not a viable pg - Only 2 days after finding out was pg.

Confirmed EP, and internal bleeding due to ruptured tube. Both me and DH were devastated, even thought we knew since being admitted to hosp that it was possibility still kept slight hope it wasn't.

Was rushed to theatre, left tube and EP removed. Surgeon said right tube was fine, although popped a cyst on the tube whilst they were in there but said it was normal.

I'm 2 weeks on from surgery now, it's been up and down, mainly down but physically seem to be healing ok i think. Have had good support from DH and family that have been trying to think positively about the future, but I needed time (and probably still will) to be negative and think of all the negatives - halved chances/3 month wait TTC/what if it happens again that's my last chance!!

Was such a shock for the first week, from having 2 happy days to being so far from it with lessened chances for the future!! I still feel in shock about it sometimes, but 2 weeks on and a lot of thinking time I am trying to accept that I cant change what's happened, so what I AM worrying about is the future... because it's the unknown!!

Sorry if this is long winded or ramble and I've lost you all, but late night post, lots of info/thoughts...

Just wanted to add that reading stories of successful BFP after EP have given me slight hope, but am scared by posts of 2nd EP happening to others.

down and scared

Northey & Apple - so sorry that you also have experienced the horror of ectopic it's so horrible and it take someone who has gone through it once or twice to totally understand!
I have not posted for a while but you may of read my post! Quick recap
Had healthy pregnancy before and was ignorant to many things I blame it on being young! Fast forwards 06 got married and just as I began to wonder if I would get pregnant started having awful abdo pains the pain was horrific ended up in A&E strong painkillers booked scan next day!
So same day I found out was pregnant and maybe losing it!!! After scan was told my baby in left tube but as was 5 weeks they didn't need to operate and I had injection! Was rescan until baby was gone!!!! heartbroken! Tried for ages with no aid of temping or sticks fell pregnant in 09 all was well! Totally erased ectopic out of head!
2011 - MMC at 12 weeks scan!!! Heartbroken as never heard of this before! Telling family baby died was hard!
April 12 - pregnant shock headed to EPU told another ectopic and needed urgent op!!!! Right tube and baby removed totally crushed!
Recovery from this all felt awful, sad and low !
June 12 - enjoying getting back to normal was told to wait 2 cycles I
had 1 fell pregnant and was monitered closely blood tests good
Rising, scan confirmed 1 baby in right place!!!!
Sharing to give hope when all seems lost and impossible there is Hope
For us all xx

Wow that was long - sorry I did say quick!

Hi, I've just had a second ruptured ectopic and looking for some UK support.

I have a dd who is now 6. We starting ttc #2 in 2008, conceived straight away but was a mmc which was picked up at 10wks. Then had another mc which we lost at 7wks in 2011. In Jan of this yr I had my first ep, I had bleeding and one sided pain (5 +3)so was getting my bloods done, when they didn't rise I was asked to go in the next day for a scan and it ruptured while I was waiting to be seen. Lost my right tube with keyhole surgery. I was VERY lucky that I was in the hosp at the time as my husband was out of the country and we live quick far away from a hosp. It was all very dramatic and with a sense of urgency when it had ruptured, like being on tv!

So when I got a bfp in July I had a sense of urgency and took myself to the GP who was very laid back, was more interested in 'booking me in' to the hospital to give birth etc. she didn't refer me to the EPU (where I'd been twice previously). She got my bloods taken but it was taking 3dayd to get results as she didn't ask for urgent results- I ended up asking the nurse to get them sent urgently, and also asked for them to check progesterone levels. Had bloods taken 3 times and they were trebling each time (yay!). Then at 5+3 again I had one sided pain- same side. I really thought it was just stretching and moving pain, but took myself to hosp for reassurance. Hcg was 3500, so they should have been able to see at least a sac and couldn't. Gave me the mex injection. It kept me in hosp that night. During the night it ruptured again- and there was a sincere lack of urgency from the nurses on the ward, took them ages to contact the consultant, and then it all went a bit 'casualty' style when they came down. Turns out that my lo had travelled from the good tube and over into the remaining bad side, where it attached itself to the stump (really don't like this term). I was very lucky as the operation they had to do carries a high risk of bleeding and needing a hysterectomy, which I didn't need. Couldnt be done with keyhole though, so my healing is much slower. I was back to work in 3.5 wks last time. I'm now 3wks after the op and have only started getting out of bed!

Been a bit tearful the last few days. Because I had the injection I can't even drink for 12 wks (9 and counting), and I could really do with a drink! I'm very lucky I can take so much time off work, I'm thinking minimum of 8wks this time (can't drive for 6). Last time I used the babybump app, and was involved in setting up the ectopic forum, but I'm wanting some uk support I think. Or maybe trying to distance myself from people I've comforted when I need to be the comforted this time. Not really sure of my reasons.

I've no idea what to do re further pregnancies. I was told it was extremely rare, but I see quite a few ladies here have had 2 ep's. I couldn't mange a 3rd one, couldn't put my family through this again. Xxx

Sorry bit of a long one, having a wee gurn while I'm typing x

Hi count thanks for your reply, sorry to hear about your losses. excellent news about the PG since, good luck.

Hello fizzy sorry to hear you've been through it twice, both yourself and count - did you get told after the first EP that it is rare to have 2 EP? My Dr is very experienced in family planning and gynae - he said in his experience he's never heard of anyone having 2 EP, which was quite reassuring then reading on here there seems to be quite a few. I'm just scared.

What I still struggle with is why it happens? there doesn't seem to be any answer. and nothing can be done to prevent it! Scary.
x

hi all,
apple so sorry you find yourself here. Hope that you carry on recovering, and life gets back on track. You know that your chances of conceiving aren't halved, our tubes are quite wriggly apparently and can hoover up eggs from either side. I've heard of lots of ladies who have ovulated on the tubeless side and got pg. Sorry if I've taken away one of your things to be negative about but in my experience, there's plenty to be negative about! Take a ray of hope where you can!!

My EP was in Feb, I'd say it took me 3 months to feel ok again, and 6 mths to feel good. Still I had a row with DH the other day, where he said actually you've been a grumpy cow, so feeling good and seeming good to others are clearly different things! I've found work a lifesaver, just somewhere where I'm so busy I can forget about all the shit. Like Count, I had a MMC discovered at the 12 wk scan (in Nov 2011) - that and the EP so close together really floored me.

Anyway, hi to fizz, you've really been through it, 2 EPs and this time having the metho and then the surgery is shitty. I can totally understand how you couldn't face a 3rd. Though you must have one good tube, what did your docs say about the stump, could anything implant there now? Hope you are taking it very easy and being looked after.

apple, I know what you mean about wondering why, I still wonder why quite often. I get stressed about possible ways to get infections, including from loo roll. I know that sounds daft but the EP was such a traumatic event that my brain has been a bit burned by it.

I know there's nothing we can do to prevent it either, it's so rubbish. I'm having acupuncture but more for stress and regulating cycles, it's not going to stop an EP. I often think what a rubbish design! Why do we even need tubes??!

thanks tas yeah ive been resting quite a lot as well as trying to get out a little bit to do a bit more every day, especially the first week after surgery - i think trying to walk about the house and keep up and about a little bit throughout the day has helped my physical recovery.

I still get occasional pulls on the right side when I move in certain ways or a bit too much, but I'm going back to work next week (3wks post-op) as I think I'll be like that for a whie, plus work is busy and I need to get back.. which i know is the wrong reason to go back but I do think I'm ok to.

odd questions maybe but how long did anyone wait to a) drive and b) have sex (protected).

xx

Hi northey apple and fizzy - shit, three of you. So sorry ou all had to find yourself here and I especially can't imagine the horror of going through it again so wishing you strength at this time.

apple I wanted to have sex with dh really quite soon after but I think we waited a couple of weeks. I did heed the advice given to wait for 2 periods though a couple of people here haven't and got pg in the right place quickly. I drove after a week. I also went back to work quite quickly - 2 weeks. I wanted to be busy. It's a personal thing and I guess depends On the type of person you are and your line of work.

Hi tas - hard that dd is asking all those baby things. It's heartbreaking isn't it. My ds hasn't stated that yet but of course I get all the usual "oh when are you having another one?" etc and am constantly seeing mums with kids ds' age and 99% have a bump or baby ( and the other 1% probably have older kids!!). It is hard. Dh is also on steroids which he assures me don't affect sperm but dr google says they do. So I feel we're up against it in many ways. I still believe we will get our baby #2 though - and (s)he'll be worth the wait.

Ladies do come and post here any time appleyoure not alone and I also get heartened by stories of bfps from fellow one tubed wonders!!!! Xxx

I'm not sure I should really be joining this thread as although my pg is ectopic (about 5 weeks according to hcg levels) my body does seem to be sorting it naturally. I have been bleeding heavily for about a month, and have had severe pain on and off for nearly 2 weeks - dr sent me away twice with laxatives and reassurances that the bleeding was normal after breastfeeding for so long . Anyway, another dr did a pg test (I got another opinion as I was in agony over the weekend) and sent me straught to the hospital on monday. A scan (tuesday) confirmed that it was in the tube and I was nil by mouth last night as they thought they would need to operate. Today they realised my hormones were dropping, another test confirmed that and I have to go back in on friday for more blood tests.
So nothing like the stories that you ladies have, but right now I am sad, achey, crampy and still bleeding. And a bit scared in case they are wrong and it suddenly ruptures.

MakeHay, I'm really sorry to read your story - it sounds incredibly stressful and upsetting. A pregnancy loss is horrible however it happens - and awful that yours has been so drawn out. I don't think I could bear to be in pain for such a long time. For me it was just one (admittedly horrible) night and then I was fixed pretty quickly.

When is your next appointment? They will want to be sure it has all cleared, especially with an ectopic I believe. Stay on here and hopefully you will find the support you need. Ask questions and someone is bound to know the answer.

All the best

hi all,
apple we don't have a car so I'm not driving, but as for sex, I was too scared for a while and it took a few weeks to even be able to attempt it. Even then the first time was not exactly relaxing. I kept thinking "this could kill me". But I'm still here! I've found work a good distraction from it all.

hi makehay hope that it all resolves soon for you, sounds like it has been dragging on, as mine did. Not much fun. Of course you're welcome here, all EPs are different, but they're all shit. My friends/family have tried to be kind but they can't understand, luckily for them! Forums like this are the only place you'll find people who do have an idea.

thank you - it's not been a fun couple of weeks, I must admit. I have another blood test tomorrow to check that my hcg levels are still falling, if they are then they will keep monitoring me but let nature do its thing; if not I will have to have surgery I think. Hand holding for the test tomorrow morning would be much appreciated.

Hi everyone it always amazes me that my gp tells me Ectopic is rare and yet there are so many of us. Apple reading ur thread was like reading my own. In 9 months I had a miscarriage and 2 Ep even though with only one tube I was told I wasn't likely to get pregnant. The first happened on a weekend so I missed seeing top specialist. 2nd I saw her and bless her she spent 55 minutes internally scanning me to prevent surgery. She is fab and if I ever get pregnant again I will pay to see her privately. She said her advise was to grief, have some counselling (pay if I could as would take months for me to get it on nhs and I needed someone who understood pregnancy loss) and let my body, soul and family recover and then if i wanted try again and contact the epu as soon as i know I'm pregnant. Alternatively I could start trying 12 weeks after mex injection. So I'm 18 months down the line I've run a marathon (having never run before) and I love another baby but I don't know if I could survive another loss. For DH me being pregnant means he and DD risk loosing me (was a very close call 1st time) so I focus on being grateful for everything I have. I cry when the waves of grieve hit and I don't beat myself for feeling jealous and angry when others have children so easily!

Loopy, can I ask who told you you weren't likely to get pregnant with only one tube? Perhaps I'm bring very naive but I feel quite confident it will happen again for me, just might take a bit longer. Isn't fertility reduced to about 65/70%? I've been trying not to over-think it I suppose...

I'm not sure as very emotional at the time they lost me on the operating table at one point. so was just glad to be alive at time. I have pcos ( specialist says no link) and endometriosis (they could see no scaring in tube left at the time) it maybe combination. the specialist said her experience was that I now had 2 and only have 1 tube I have a 1 in 2 chance of another EP. now I've had 2 the BMC recommend tube removal if 2 ectopics in one tube. Always asked to see the consultant and ask them to be straight with you about future pregnancies. My specialist points out I go against all the odds pcos, endometriosis, tilted womb and a cheating ex who left me with the need to be treated for clymedia (can't spell) she said she never says never as long as you eggs a tube and a womb!