Ectopic pregnancy support thread

[tasmaniandevilchaser]

Hi everyone, this is a place for anyone who's had an ectopic pregnancy - whether you want to moan, cry, fret or just have a chat with other people who understand. I know there's lots of other good websites on ectopic pregnancies but after hijackingchatting with sunshine on another thread, I thought I'd start one here.

Well I'll get the ball rolling with my story - after a MMC in November (found out at the 12 wk scan that the baby had died at 10 wks) I was just getting myself sorted, having counselling, when I had the ectopic. I know I am lucky in that I have a lovely DD. Having had a normal pregnancy, I knew from the beginning this one was not good and as soon as I got a BFP I was down at the hospital.

After 10 days of mental torture, waiting around, scans, rescans, blood tests, it got too late for the methotrexate (they finally saw the ectopic in a scan on a Friday early evening and the methotrexate wasn't in stock )

I finally had the surgery to remove one tube on the Tuesday. This was the end of February, at first I wasn't sure how I would cope, but I am just plodding on. I know I am lucky that it didn't rupture, but honestly I can't think of having an ectopic as being lucky. Especially after a MMC .

Anyway, come join me if you want to share your story, I have , and

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Hi there - this thread is a little old. If you'd like to know more about ectopic pregnancies, we've got more information here. MNHQ

hi loopy, your specialist sounds amazing. Her advice seems spot on to me. Congrats on running the marathon! You sound like you have a good view on it all. I don't feel guilty that I find babies/pg hard, it's just part of the process. Though it definitely is getting easier.

It's so shit that having an EP over the w/e (or as in my case a Friday night) means that your care isn't so good. The NHS really need to sort that one out.

I have always struggled with not knowing why my EP happened but reading your post makes me realise that maybe knowing the reason isn't any easier. Sorry this has happened to you.

Thanks tas reading ur posts made me think how similar our stories r my DD is 6 is fantastic with little ones and for so long has been desperate to be a big sister. I always tell her she would be the best big sister. She was 4 / 5 so realised something was wrong and she had to come for some bloods test as coincided with holidays and I became paranoid something would happen to her for a while. I know she wishes every birthday for a sibling! I have explained now that I would love her to be a big sister but mummy gets very poorly and it's not nice for her when I'm poorly and being an only has benefits! I have read literally everything I could lay my hands on. 1st tube was full of endo scarring 2nd tube looked clear. I really wish my specialist had been the one to do it and have a look round. I've come to the conclusion that because they can't fix the problem there is no point worrying about the cause. Know I'm not completely ok at the moment cos I'm here needing to share my story again x r u ttc at the moment?

Evening all,

apple my last ep was keyhole surgery. I didn't drive for 2 weeks, prob didn't have sex for 2 wks and then back to work in 3.5 wks, but I'm mainly desk work and driving. I went back to work as soon as I felt physically ready. Re emotions I cope much better with advoiding dealing with it and just throwing myself into work.

This time because the surgery was more severe I can't drive for 6wks. Because of the meth injection can't have sex for 12wks (but to honest if I can't have wine I'll not miss it lol). I plan to take minimum 8wks off work. I'm now 3.5 wks past operation and can't believe that I was back to work this time last time. I can still hardly sit up. I did some light tidying today and feel like I've done a million sit ups, still having to hold my tummy in to cough!

My hubby's been great, I couldn't do the stairs for a couple of weeks and so he was bringing me a wee packed lunch every day before he went to work!! Dd is being a great wee nurse as well.

Re reasons, I have none of the supposed risk factors for one, and the research says that to have 2 in the same side after the tube had been removed is practically unheard of- my consultant said shed never seen it before. In fact tbh when I told them I was having pain in the same side they told me that I couldn't be and asked me if I was sure that was the side I'd lost previously! Apparently 1% of all pregnancies will be ectopic- which is my first one. My second one was called cornual ectopic where it sticks in the part linking the tube and the womb, and it's 2% of the 1% occur rate, not to mention that as it was my second I was also really unlucky- prob 0.0001%! Shoulda done the lotto!

Can't remember who asked about % chances of concieving again. Dr google says that 20% will have another ep, 20% won't concieve again and 60% will have a pregnancy to term. On the babybump app we had quite a few ladies concieve normally, most within 6month period.

hi all, thanks berries tas and loopy for your replies. and sorry to makehay that you're also going through it right now.

yeah puff I did read and get told it's 65% chance, and have good times when i try to focus on that too.

did anyone else that has had the keyhole surgery have a raised lump under the lower scars at all? I have and it's on the side that sometimes pulls a bit. I have had it checked by the surgeon that did it and he says it's where the internal stitches under the skin are, but I was just wondering if anyone else had it if it will go down in time?

Grrr - back in hospital because pain got worse and I got scared. I'm NBM again until they can confirm that I am not bleeding internally (). At least I have my own room this time (although door has to be kept open so they can see me so not v private).
I just want this to be over now.

Oh make hay how scary for you. I had a major flashback to it all last night and was just sobbing like a baby (excuse the expression) to dh. Itis such a traumatic thing to go through. Do you have someone with you?

I have also read -during my hours of obsessive googling- that 65% of post ep women witll conceive healthily within 12 months and 85% within 18 months. Given some people will stop ttc after ep for whatever reason I think those odds are ok. There are a few ladies on this thread who got pregnant relatively easily so we just have to keep going and take heart our bodies can do it.

I am having a low week on the ttc/ep issue. As I get close to my due date I find it very hard and I genuinely miss my baby- to the point where it physically hurts. I think it's hard for anyone who loses a baby and despite ttc isn't pregnant by their 'due' date but I do think ep is worse than mc as the is the worry it will happen again, plus the odds of it affecting your fertility. Anyway, it's just one of those situations where there's nothing you can do. I'm not very good in those! I have been thinking about getting the duofertility things from boots. Probably jus another expensive gadget but it's hard to not feel like youre doing everything you possibly can.

tas - did af arrive? You said you'd lost track of days.....

loopy - well done on the marathon!

makehay keep posting, we are here for you

fizzy hope the physical pain eases soon. Bless your dh and your packed lunch! Have you got plenty to keep you occupied while in bed? Mums net must be a saviour!

apple no bumps on my scars for me - they are still there though as a permanent reminder :(

Hope everyone has a lovely bh weekend xx

Hi make hay I hope you got some rest last night. I know there is nothing I can say to make you feel better just wanted you to know I was thinking about you. Big hugs x

Apple I do remember had lump it has gone away I was told it would go once the stitches the internal stitches dissolved.

apple I don't remember any of my tummy scars being raised, it was my belly button wind that was the most irritated. They went through my belly button again this time and they've sewed it up badly- looks like a wotsit!!

I have sky+ which is a blessing. Oh and I've spent a fortune on eBay and amazon lol. Only really started to go downstairs the last couple of days. Tbh I have assignments due for uni that I should get on with but not feeling motivated at the mo. not feeling very sociable either, at that point where I've spent too long on my own and now I just want to be on my own. It's my bday tomorrow (28), and we are going away for the weekend with friends of ours. Then next wk I have a things to do on wed, thurs and fri so hopefully that will lift me a little bit.

It's coming up to my first due date, 16th sept, trying not to think about it.

Not wind wound!! Soz, auto correct :)

I hope I have a lovely birthday fizz. Due dates r a hard one. I found've tried ignoring planning something nice. Last one hubby got me big bar of choc tissues bottle of wine a DVD that made me laugh and one that was sad so I could let all the tears out. Just what I needed watched sad film first cried constantly had a shower with nice shower gel my mum got me then watched funny one and felt naughty drinking wine in the afternoon! Just what i needed x

Due dates Are an interesting one. I have blocked out the weekend for me, dh and ds to do something but I want to do something fun in the day and then maybe go out with just dh for dinner in the evening and drink wine. Cause I can.

iloveberries hugs to you - I hope this weekend is as lovely as it can be.

I've been given the choice - watch and wait, not liked by the registrar because it can take up to 2 weeks of pain and still no guarantees, or surgery, which scares the living crap out of me but at least it would all be over. I do have fluid (probably blood) in my pelvic cavity, hence the discomfort (so why did they send me home? I don't get it).

I don't know what to do, I'm tired (hourly obs) and hungry and very very fed up.

MakeHay, I feel for you - my tube had ruptured and I had a lot of blood in my pelvic cavity too - it was so painful, I never imagined blood floating around could make you feel that way.

I hope it resolves itself soon. But please don't be scared of the surgery option - it was really fine and made me feel so so much better. Good luck!

thank you - I've gone for it even though I am terrified because I really want it all to be over. Hopefully sometime this afternoon.

Oh that's good - honestly it is - I had never had a GA before but I'm quite glad I've had one now as I know it really isn't anything to be worried about. You'll be absolutely fine and will feel much better when you wake up. A bit groggy and sleepy but no pain. Your tummy will be sore if you try to move the muscles in there but lying still you'll be fine. Take the painkillers they offer if you need them. I didn't bother as I felt ok but once I was home I took some, just for the first couple of days. Really though, the soreness is nothing compared to the ectopic experience itself.

Will be thinking of you, let us know when it's all over

makehay hope that it all goes well today with the op, I think you've done the right thing getting it all over with. If it's keyhole it should be pretty straightforward.

berries due dates are hard, I wasn't too great leading up to mine (for the MMC), I felt a lot lot better once it had passed. Wish there was something I could say to make it better, but I know that it's just part of a pretty shitty process. We just have to plod on!

apple I had little bumps under the keyhole scars, they've gone now (6mths down the line)

fizz hope you have a lovely birthday and that getting out next week is a tonic for you. I got out a lot after my EP (but only had keyhole so very different) and it was good, but I did get poorly from picking up bugs, so make sure you've fed yourself up on vits and fruit and veg!

loopy yes we are TTC, have been since a couple of months after EP. Obviously not much luck yet. It has been hard, I'm starting to think best case scenario is giving up and accepting that DD is an only child. If I do get pg, the other scenarios are 1) huge stress then another EP 2) huge stress then another MC 3) huge stress then a baby. But there's a part of me that just can't give up.

puff how are you?

thanks for the replies tas berries fizzy and loopy. always good to know if it's the same for anyone else.

happy birthday fizzy i hope you have a nice time.

make hay i hope the op went well, pain killers, rest.

take care all x

Thanks all for your best wishes - I went in at 7pm last night, no idea when I was out! Feel like I have been in a car crash now though, but they managed to do it as keyhole rather than open me up, thankfully. Not sure whether they took a tube - dr will be round later. Just glad it's over bar the recovery.

I hope everyone is feeling ok this morning - best wishes.

Oh makehay I am sending big hugs. Is someone with you?

tas - lots of stress and then a baby is the option I am going for. I am hopeful.

It wasn't my due date this weekend, sorry, I see how my post sounded like it was. I was just talking about my plans for the weekend when it is the due date.

We are off on holiday soon so I am focussing on that! Some quality time in the sun is just what we need :)

Hi MakeHay, are you home now? Hope you're getting your head round it all - it is a lot to take in but very good to be able to begin the process of putting it behind you. Take care, hugs,

makehay hope you are home relaxing now and someone is taking care of you. What did the doc say? hope it was good news (well as good as it can get after an EP).

hi all - I'm finally home, DH is still on holiday till tuesday so he's looking after me. Apparently it was bigger than they thought and close to rupture - which explains the fluid in my pelvis and why following my second scan last night I was in theatre within a couple of hours! I did lose the tube, sadly. Not feeling too bad now, glad to be home with DH, dd and ds. My head's a bit all over the place though, and very tired.

Thinking of you makehay. Glad hubby is about for a bit to nurture you. Did the consultant make any comments about how your remaining tube looked?

hi all, makehay glad you're home and being looked after. Take it very easy.

Well, I have some exciting news!!! BFP, gulp! It's such early days, I'm expecting the worst but at the same time hoping for the best. But for today I'm pg, with no pain or bleeding. With the EP, I'd started bleeding at this point, though obviously another EP would probably present differently. My temps are also good, so progesterone looks good. For today anyway. Not sure how I'm going to survive the next couple of weeks until they can tell me it's in the right place. Life was so much simpler before EP. But right now I'm happy. And worried.

Hope this gives you some hope. Berries my lovely, your turn next!

oh, I forgot to say, I used preseed this cycle, not sure if that helped, but I don't have much EWCM anymore, so thought it might help.