Ectopic pregnancy support thread

[tasmaniandevilchaser]

Hi everyone, this is a place for anyone who's had an ectopic pregnancy - whether you want to moan, cry, fret or just have a chat with other people who understand. I know there's lots of other good websites on ectopic pregnancies but after hijackingchatting with sunshine on another thread, I thought I'd start one here.

Well I'll get the ball rolling with my story - after a MMC in November (found out at the 12 wk scan that the baby had died at 10 wks) I was just getting myself sorted, having counselling, when I had the ectopic. I know I am lucky in that I have a lovely DD. Having had a normal pregnancy, I knew from the beginning this one was not good and as soon as I got a BFP I was down at the hospital.

After 10 days of mental torture, waiting around, scans, rescans, blood tests, it got too late for the methotrexate (they finally saw the ectopic in a scan on a Friday early evening and the methotrexate wasn't in stock )

I finally had the surgery to remove one tube on the Tuesday. This was the end of February, at first I wasn't sure how I would cope, but I am just plodding on. I know I am lucky that it didn't rupture, but honestly I can't think of having an ectopic as being lucky. Especially after a MMC .

Anyway, come join me if you want to share your story, I have , and

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Hi there - this thread is a little old. If you'd like to know more about ectopic pregnancies, we've got more information here. MNHQ

Count, it sounds about the same time period i had. I had ectopic in december and was pregnant in april. I had an early scan at 6 weeks for reassurance but no bloods or anything. It is an exciting and terrifying time but i fet much better with this pregnancy than i did with the ectopic. Keeping things crossed for you x

there is hope for me then.
i need hope.
today has been a bad day :(

berries sorry today has been a bad day, hope that tomorrow will be better. Is there anything in particular that was bad, or just feeling shit? If there are too many bad days then have a think about who you can go to for help. Don't try and do it on your own. I had a totally horrendous day on Saturday, just fell apart really, but am feeling much more normal since then. Not sure if hearing about my despair really helps, but know that you're not alone in feeling awful. I honestly think it's normal to feel really really terrible sometimes after what we've both been through. But if it carries on, then you must go to your GP or try another avenue for counselling (which is what I'm doing). Hugs x

joby hi! so glad you've popped back to give us one tubed wonders some hope! and glad that at 17wks you're doing well, great news

count keep breathing! Natural to be scared I think, but keep positive and keep us posted!

tas - not that i am happy you have shit days but it does make me feel more 'normal'.

3 things got to me today:

1. I noticed DH was wearing tight pants and commented that he needed to wear the loose boxers (he has tons of pairs!). He called me a nazi and said i was psycho about getting pregnant. He later apologised for this and said he was stressed and he didn't think it really mattered what pants he wore. We had a good chat about it and i explained that i feel so much is out of our control and against us that i am just trying to do what i can. he listened a long time and we sorted it out. I was livid after his comments but no point in staying cross eh?

1. I took DS for a walk and saw a mum, dad and 2 kids (mum had approx a 6month bump - where i should be now) and DS kept wanting to go and play with them cause "their family has other children". I was weeping inside.

1. A friend texted to tell me she's expecting DC3 (all her DCs conceived month 1). I'm happy for her but of course it gets me. Hers is a BIG TIME band aid baby so I guess I am less jealous of her but it's still hard that my body won't, or as DH corrected me, hasn't yet played ball for our DC2.

It's not depression for prolonged periods of time tas - somedays are just dreadful. Today was one of them.

Where are you getting your counselling from?

Ilove - I'm so sorry about how your feeling! Don't be so hard on yourself as your feelings are valid! Your heart is breaking in everyway!
Tas - thank you I'm trying so hard to feel positive but I can't help it I'm in tears right now feeling so scared,I can't help it!!! It's going to be a long night! Panics now if my blood levels are not in line for them to rule out another ectopic!

Hello all.
I am lurking.
Have made it to 7wks pg despite a uti, a really nasty fall and spotting (didn't feel I could post before I knew either way)
Still can't allow myself to feel it will all be ok. Holding breath and not telling anyone until 12wks.

Amo you will find lots of support here if you need it.
ILove I hope things are easing for you.
Count it's a very difficult 48hrs between blood tests. Unfortunately they wont rule out an ep until they can see something on an ultrasound. If it helps to know I have some idea of how you are feeling right now (My ep end March/April)
tas boo to AF. Hope today is an up day for you.

Hi Ninjacat- had bloods done and they are at a good level but will still monitor me which I'm happy about and when they believe baby is viable to be seen should be getting scan which should be next week!
Still so scared but they don't seem to be that worried so I'm just trying to stay calm!!!! Midwife was lovely and speeded up my blood results as she knew how stressed I am about it all!

Don't know if I said congraulations Ninjacat- before!
(Can't remember if you posted it)

ninjacat - congratulations! It is very inspiring to see all you ladies falling pregnant so quickly after your ectopics! I am kinda regretting following the rules and using condoms for 2 cycles!!

Hey ho.

count great news bloods are doing what they're meant to.

thanks for the congratulations. And Congratulations to you Count

Ilove when I went to the dr to say I was pg he was quite cross with me for being too soon . He followed that up with saying if it was another ep or I was to mc to make sure I waited next time. I could really have done without the whole next time speech. Anyway I'm sure it's far more sensible to wait it's just that it took me 8mnths to get pg last time so I thought it might be more of the same.
If it helps to know according to the consultant I ovulated from the same side as the ep and although I was lucky and my tube was saved that does mean it managed to dodge the scar tissue.

Count it sounds like they do things a little differently here. I had bloods taken 48hrs apart to see if they doubled then had a scan once bloods go over 1600.
Glad everything is looking good so far. My first scan just showed a sac but it was in the right place and that felt like hurdle one overcome.

Oh wow Ninja - how do they know which side you ovulated from? I guess the ovaries look big or something like that!!!!
Oh I am just praying I get over the hurdle of baby in right place I feel like I'm " counting my chickens before they hatch" but I'm just
Trying to stay positive and the mw said the levels are Doubling!!!!! But didn't tell me the actual figures!!!!!
Ilove- you don't worry that you listen to the advice as you can see I still have a mountain to climb and I pray it's not a silly mistake that will turn into another heartache!!!!
Roll on Friday!!!!!!!!

hi all, count congrats on the blood count, all sounds very promising! They know which side you ov'd from as on the scan they can see the corpus luteum, which is a blobs that grows on the ovary where the egg pops out.

Think the nurse that scanned me for the EP told me that, she pointed out the blob on the ovary.

hi ninja glad it's all going well for you too.

berries it's our turn next! Those things you describe all sound very familiar triggers for me as well.

I am feeling ok today, had some good news at work (someone difficult to work with is leaving, yes!) I haven't arranged counselling yet, but have made some enquiries at a local centre that has about 10 counsellors working out of it.

Hey everyone,

I am new here and wanted to share my story I had an ectopic pregnancy on 26/6/12 @ 8wks We where off for any early scan that morning but when I got up I was very dizzy off but off to the scan we went as there was a confusion over my dates when we arrived at scan I was very dizzy they took my bp and blood and did they scan to discover that my Fallopian tube had just bust and I was bleeding internally next thing i know I am being rushed to theatre as it is now a matter of life and death, I wake up 4hrs later with tubes and drips coming out everywhere to be told at I was in surgery for 2 and a half hours that they has removed my right tube along with my pregnancy which somehow managed to attach to my bowl and the my bp had hit the floor during the op and has a blood transfusion. This is not what I had in mind for out 1st scan. Physically I am on the mend, emotionally I take longer but just taking one day at a time xxxx

Hi jellytots Sorry you had to find yourself here :( and sorry for the loss of the baby and the tube (a double whammy isn't it)

I hope reading the stories of ninja, joby and count will bring you some hope that there is a good chance of a BFP in the right place very soon after ectopic.

It sounds like you had a very traumatic experience with your ectopic. I think the physical and the emotional healing is, as you say, very different. I hope you have lots of RL support. Take time to heal and deal.

Thinking of you and come here and post anytime xxx

Hi everyone, been off the page for a couple weeks. Congrats on the bfps - great news for you.
Jelly tots, really sorry to hear what you have been through, I know how you feel it's a very scary and devastating experience. There are lots of lovely folk here that can hold your (virtual) hand.
Well I went back to work almost two weeks ago, 2 ladies ( who are also my friends) who I work v closely with are v heavily pg. I am still tubeless and 40 but......(whispered) I feel ok....
I have been waiting to fall apart but haven't and don't feel like I will either. Following my first and extremely traumatic, life-threatening ectopic I did fall apart for a while and I have never felt so lonely and sad and desperate in all my life. I was dreading feeling like it again, feeling physically ill when friends told me they were pg and I was so desperate to be too, but I really do feel ok. I am so glad.
I just wanted to tell you that. Thanks for your support. I think writing stuff down really helps. I may lurk occasionally but my time here is done. Back to my little family of 3 and two cats. I think I will go and listen to 'kooks' by David Bowie, a very uplifting song about a family of three if ever there was one. Lots of peace and love and sticky beans for you all xxx

jelly tot - I'm am sorry - what a traumatic experience you have just gone through, be gentle on your self and we are all here as we have all been in your position in different ways! hold onto hope as i does and will happen for us all!
1 day at a time!
Nicebeaver - thanks for coming back and updating glad to hear your feeling stronger and getting on with life!!!! all the best in your future and to all it has in store for you!
after i had my ectopic in 2006 i came to this place of if I'm not going to have anymore children maybe i can help in other ways and show support, i now sponsor 4 children in poverty through " compassion" and it feels great!

hi all,

jellytot sorry you find yourself here, sounds very traumatic, hope you are being looked after. Come and post anytime we are here for you. I don't know anyone in real life who's had an EP, so it's a godsend to have people here who understand.

nice great news you are feeling good, if I find myself in your position I hope I have half your strength and calmness.

berries how are you doing? Hope life is throwing you lots of good days!

count hope all is going well, did you have your scan?

I am having mostly good days, I saw an old friend and I didn't tell her about the EP, it just doesn't seem to overshadow my life in the same way anymore. If that had happened a few months ago, I would have exploded not talking about it. Not being able to talk to people about it was a big trigger for a "bad day". I also met up with some friends who have their 2nd DC. We all have preschoolers the same age and were trying for our 2nd at the same time. It has been really hard in the past to meet up with them, and last week it just seemed a lot easier.

Having said that at the w/e I had a sudden panic that the weird twinges I was having were the start of another EP and it wasn't AF at all. I had to do a pg test to reassure myself. Oh well, overall I'm definitely moving forwards. I'm allowed the occasional moment!

Jelly so sorry you have come to join us.

Nice I love that song and dh and I used to play it all the time for the ds's.
And just incase anyone hasn't heard it

Tas glad you are beginning to heal

Count hope all goes well with the scan

Thank You- scan went well 1 baby in right place!
Tas - I'm so glad that you are getting stronger as you said not feeling you have to tell an old friend about it! You def sound like your on a " healing and dealing " path which I was on when I got my Bfp!

Whoop Whoop Count

YES! count I'm doing a jig of joy for you!!!

Have I remembered rightly that you had an EP in that tube in 2006?

It gives me hope whatever tube it was!

Thanks Tas - yes it was although I did get pregnant and have my son in 2010. I think I'm in shock because of how soon it has happened more then it actually happening!!!!
It will be all of you lovely ladies turn real soon, come on I need the company!!!
I may have to go on the ectopic website to seek if anyone has been in my situation so quickly!!!!

Today was a sad day I lurked over onto the December thread where some have had scans to confirm the babies sex I felt very sad!

Congratulations Count and Ninja

Sorry you've had to join us Amo and Jelly Hope we can help here.

Ilove sorry you're having a bad time, try and enjoy the good days and get through the bad, you're not letting anyone down and you sound like a fab mum xxx [hug]

Tas, Joby and Nice how's things?

Well, the holiday was very wet and rather windy, so we've come home a few days early and will go to places from home instead.

Just as I was thinking I was sorting my life out (part time college course paid for from Sept, accepting my losses, accepting a 1 DC family, looking to the future rather than the past etc), I have a missed AF and had a BFP .

I've got a scan booked for Monday, but have been getting niggley, slightly crampy type pains in my remaining tube side... ...so am still planning on a 1 DC family til after Monday.

Scared.

Not wanting to get my hopes up at all.

4 days and 14 hrs to wait.

Count I would have been on the Dec thread too.
Have we both found ourselves on the Feb thread now?

Ohhhhhhh wow Tired - you just tucked that one in " oh came home early missed AF and got a BFP!!" Congrats - that was quick too right maybe a shorter space then mine!!!!
Sohappyforyou.com
Ninja - ohhhhh ain't that strange, but I missed Feb due in March!!!! The finish line just seem so far!!!!!!
Anyone got a remote so I could fast forwards please!!