How are you feeling after MC?

[freelancegirl]

Hello everyone,

I though I would start a new thread for all of us who have been through a mc recently or not so recently and want to carry on swapping stories, bitching about crap feelings, celebrating any good feelings etc etc.

I will kick off, but I hope some of you will join me.

Bleeding has more or less stopped so am still worried about that 'last 2cm of product' the scan revealed still needed to emerge. Docs have given me antibiotics to ward off infection and am due back for another scan around 12th April.

Today I woke up feeling like shit! Emotionally I am still getting better but I feel so tired at times. I woke up feeling exhausted today, but there are other times during the day when I will be walking around fine and then suddenly feel totally knackered. No idea why. Hormones shifting? It's almost the same tiredness as had when pg. Sometimes I feel a bit sick too and am having the odd dizzy spell. I don't think there's any infection but like I said am already on antibiotics.

I am also really annoyed about my weight. I haven't weighed myself since the mc as don't have any scales at home but I go away at weekend so I can weigh myself tomorrow. But I know I had put on about 5lbs in the first trimester and my small jeans are still not fitting me. I was a bit of a gym bunny before getting pg (which coincided with xmas so I was eating more/exercising less anyway and had put on 3lbs, which I wasn't then bothered about as I knew I could shift it after xmas - not expecting to be a) pg and b) have an mc). Now I feel bloated and miserable about my weight because am guessing am around 8lbs heavier than my best. I realise there are other priorities but now there's no baby I would like to have my size and my energy back!

As regards moving forward and possibly ttc again, I have bought two cheap pg tests and when I am brave enough am going to see if I get a BFN. I feel that would be a step in the right direction to start with.

Hope all are well and feeling positive. Feel free to join in xxx

Jemima: yes hun, like pixie says... I was terrified as I have a fear of hospitals and medical intervention. However, the procedure ( they called it ERPC) was done under General Anaesthetic- totally painless. Period like cramps later managed by paracetamol. I did try to let it happen naturally, however two weeks later scan showed sac still there, therefore offered medically managed via pill or ERPC. Chose the latter as wanted to draw a line under it all as was lingering for far too long. Please try to relax. I know its easier said than done, I just drowned all my fears etc by self medicating with lots of good food and lots and lots of wine! It's natural to be a bit apprehensive... That's where this thread comes into it's own! Use it. You won't regret it, and we'll try and ease your fears about anything - anything, nothing is too much information here!
All You've Ever Wanted To Know About Miscarriage But Were Too Afraid To Ask is us! x

Diamonds It's lovely news that your dad is getting better and that you and DH have a lovely holiday coming up. I hope you get to have sunshine, wine and lots of healing rest and relaxation. I love our new slogan -

All You've Ever Wanted To Know About Miscarriage But Were Too Afraid To Ask is us!

Pixie I love your excitement over your mooncup! They are really rather sweet, I like the little drawstring bag that comes with it. You must report back and tell us how you found it. Gosh, we request the strangest things on this thread

Jemima Oh, you poor girl. I am so sorry to hear of your losses. It mustn't be easy having that emotional rollercoaster twice in a row. I had a natural miscarriage - like you did the first time, so I can't give any advice on your procedure. I am sure it will be fine as these things are, I am sure there will be painkillers galore afterwards and hopefully it will bring some sort of 'closure' (I hate the word too, I always think of Dawson's Creek!). And if those hormones do give you hell as they drop, we are here and will look after you. Am glad you have been looking after yourself and having nice food and red wine.

I rather like (as an alternative to the new thread name!!)
"All You Never Wanted To Know About Miscarriage And Wish You'd Never Asked"

Jemima, ah that's rubbish. Rotten luck to have to go through it again so quickly, I'm so sorry.
I had ERPC and actually rather enjoyed the GA (apart from the not eating and drinking part) because it was the first time in well over a year I had actually had any proper deep sleep. I felt wonderfully refreshed afterwards.

Really, Someone Who Always Pitches In is an incredibly useful sort to have at a campfire do, even ones involving Nazi ex-Nuns.
While pixie, free and I take care of the entertainment, you can make sure our wine glasses stay topped up...

Yes free, your posts often have me chuckling, I reckon you can definitely lay claim to Being Funny!

Ooh, Diamonds, do wave as you pass Madrid!

Good for you with the Mooncup, pixie!
THE ANGLO-HISPANIC MOONCUP ADVISORY SERVICE IS NOW OPEN
A word of advice - don't stick the thing up as far as you would a tampon or you'll have do some serious rummaging to get it back out again (!) You can either use your nails or fingertips to wiggle/pull it out by the stick bit or do what I do and grab the bottom of the cup with finger and thumb and wiggle it out that way.
One of the other good things about the Mcup is unless you are having an exceedingly heavy day, you can leave it in for ages without worrying about TSS etc.
Another word of advice - keep the Mooncup in your toilet bag (in its little drawstring wotsit) when not in use as it's all too easy to forget to pack it when going away somewhere.

I am passing out beer, wine, ice cream, cooked sausages, anything in the slightest bit french and curly wurly's. Wimples on ladies, the came fire is burning, Pixie has got the piano, IC has the guitar, Free is singing and I have polished my Triangle. What shall we start with? 'The Sound of Music' I imagine, so we can all reminisce and get sentimental.

OLA! Anglo-Hispanic Mooncup Advisory Service - I know that at some point I will be scrolling through this thread searching for those tips. Call me a prude but the thought of a 'serious rummage' through your magic bits sounds a bit alarming. What else is there up there to search through? Maybe you pull a rabbit out first, and some lovely silk hankies? .

Free OOOh, this whole new WW pro plus points things isn't what it used to be. You can't save your points from that day to use another day that week. And wine, a bottle to be fair, is 18 points.. you get 29 these days but everything has gone up in value. Flipping fat inflation. I blame the Government.

Ah poor you Jemima. How awful to have to go through everything all over again. A lot of people on here can empathise so you have come to the right place. And yes the hormones are all over the place. I finally started bleeding after a natural mc yesterday, almost 6 weeks after I started. Having heard what everyone else has said I think if it happened again I would go down the ERPC route. It might be traumatic but it does get at least the practical side of things out of the way quicker. And also if it happened to me again i think I would push to see if they could find a reason - although I think I already know that raised thyroid antibodies are the reason.

"All You Never Wanted To Know About Miscarriage And Wish You'd Never Asked" should definitely be our next thread! Although we might not know exactly everything (but we might do after I have seen Dr S :) ) we can certainly give most things a good guess in between random musing about mooncups, nuns etc etc. THE ANGLO-HISPANIC MOONCUP ADVISORY SERVICE can be a sister (ha!) organisation from where we earn out true fortune. I have been persuaded by IC's experience and Pixie's excitement and definitely going down the mooncup route next time I need one! Who knows when that will be though. It will probably be ages until I start to bleed again!

Really someone who always pitches in is indeed handy. I might start thinking about tasks for you now. I pitch in too, but when it comes to practical things I pitch in badly, get flung out unceremoniously and hence have been further deskilled in the domestic arena.

Oh god, the new WW system sounds complicated. Points were great! I was quite happy to eat a whole cake and a bottle of wine and starve myself in healthy compensation the next day :)

Hey, talking of arenas, this weekend I watched the whole of Spartacus - Gods of the Arena which had been recorded for me by our lodger in Brighton. It's nothing that I would EVER consider watching before but I have to say the sight of very fit men with their abs and chests out and a lot of erotic and homoerotic fornicating was quite restorative to this bleeding (sorry...) soul. Tonights viewing has involved The Only Way Is Essex catch up and generally sitting here trying desperately not to go round to the shop and stock up on chocolate. MUST try to be healthy for at least Tues, Weds and Thurs before the drinking starts again on Friday. I have an 11am start in a country pub for a Royal Wedding Party.

Diamonds very jealous about your trip to Barca. Lovely city! Glad things are looking up for you. What were you up to in LA? I love LA - my brother lives there and I try to go out as often as I can. I would go there tomorrow at the moment if I had the cash! I could really do with a nice LA-fix.

Freelance I have heard that Spartacus is utterly, utterly filthy. I love the sound of it! I'm watching The Crimson Petal and the White on bbc I-player. Again, pretty filthy and amazing film sets, it's such an alternative but I imagine more realistic idea of Victorian interiors. Shame they didn't actually film it in Notting Hill where it's supposed to be set, much to my chagrin. The best bit, is that the actresses have hairy armpits - amazing! I almost think they will come back in fashion. Absolutely agree with the old WW points. I used to eat salad leaves all day and then have a bottle of wine after work. It worked like a dream!

Am absolutely convinced that my AF will arrive on Thursday. Does anyone want to place a bet on whether it will?

And would love to go to LA. I used to go to Miami a bit because we lived in the Caribbean, but I imagine LA has a very different feel. Oh Diamonds, did you have any fun there when you weren't working?

Hi everyone,

Went to my EPU today, they confirmed what I already knew MC! :( So sad because whenever I've been pregnant (3rd time 2nd MC) I always bond with my little passenger immediatly its weird because I feel like a new mom as soon as the test comes up positive... Social Service also "tried" to pay me a visit today but I was at the EPU... I was very angry when I saw they note through the door as she didn't even phone or e-mail me to say who she was what she wanted etc b4 she came.... I've made the decision to give up my beautiful home and move back to my parents very dissappointed as I love my home but I just can't handle anymore he is frantically trying to stop me from going pleading with the "love" I have for him and for the sake of our daughter what a joke... After seeing the piece of paper saying MC today I just thought why am I actually putting up with this it's just not fair on me or my lo (little one)...
I don't think I'm doing too well with the whole MC I keep getting these feelings of deep guilt I just feel like I've caused the death of my baby... I can't talk to family or friends because everybody thinks we are the best couple in the world...
Really upset I just wanna get away from everyone to be honest... I don't know when I will be able to forgive myself for what as happend...

P.S what does DD mean I know its something to refer to my daughter but I can't work out what it stands for...

HiPixie, the supplements can be quite expensive - I think we spent a couple of hundred pounds about every 4 months (including hair analysis), but as were gearing up for IVF this seemed like a bargain! The first time we took them for about 4 months before conceiving, and I took them throughout the pg, second time about 6 months, and again throughout pg - obviously gets cheaper when DS gets let off the hook! I actually felt great on the programme - focus on healthy eating and avoiding junk, but I think the biggest thing was the mental/emotional benefit of feeling that I was doing something positive, especially as the doctors tend to tell you that there's nothing you can do, and I'm not much good at just waiting.

I'm generally feeling ok about mc at the mo, but off to a wedding soon (not the royal one) where we were planning on sharing our news so I expect that will be hard but the days's not about me after all - suppose I should let the bride take centre stage - tsk!
All the best everyone.

michy So lovely to hear from you and I am so sorry the sad news was confirmed today . You poor thing. I think you're being incredible and doing the right thing in moving back to your parents. Give yourself some space, get better and just be and feel safe. I am sending you an enormous, enormous hug to you and your DD (darling daughter!). Please, please, please don't feel guilty for your miscarriage, this is not your fault. I hope you get some sleep and some rest. And don't change your mind, no matter what DP says to you. More big hugs xxx

WL Hi there, I am surprised they can tell that much from hair analysis - I didn't think it was a very accurate way of testing for vitamin deficiency. May I ask why a blood test wouldn't be a more effective method? (and don't worry if you don't know! Just interested and too lazy to ask Dr Google). Am glad it worked for you though and I hope you're doing okay xxxx

michy you are being really strong taking that decision - but it is absolutely the right one. I'm applauding you right now.
How dare that man try and emotionally blackmail you to stay "for the love of our daughter"?!! What does he know about love??
And I know it's hard not to blame yourself for the mc, but it really isn't your fault. Not one bit. Your soon to be XP is wholly responsible for ending your pregnancy. I could put it in stronger terms than that, but I won't. You didn't ask or want him to behave violently towards you, HE was the one who chose to raise his hand against you AND his potential future child. Thank god you are getting out, I hope you find the RL support and safety you need and deserve.
Huge solidarity to you, michy - it's your Independence Day. A big hug for you and your DD.

Morning all, not sure about the blood test vs the hair analysis, but I do know that hair analysis is a recognised way of assessing what is/has been in your body. I guess blood tests might be a bit more 'real time' but perhaps not so easy to send through the post! I'm sure Foresight would be able to give you a proper answer if your curiosity gets the better of you.

Good news for today is that I am in pre pg trousers today - tight but done up! Like many of you, I too have been cursing the weight and shape gain that was not immediately lost after the ERPC - to add insult to injury!

Well done Michy - power to you and your future!

PS Sorry if I spoke out of line up there, michy, but I feel so angry on your behalf and so relieved you're getting out.

WL Thank you for the info. It must be nice to fit back in those trousers.

Michy Do let us know how you're doing, are you able to leave and go to your parent's house today? Like IC and probably everyone on the thread, I'm worried sick about you. Send an update as soon as you are able. xxx

Hi there! apologies for failure to namecheck- still on blasted phone. will still havea good try though!Freelance:Was in LA as we have a client there, who is represented by us over here. Had some loose ends that needed tying up. Unfortunately, no time to enjoy personally, literally in and out. Had a few lovely lunches and dinners, but that was about it. It would have been lovely had I had some time to shop and just relax. But didnt have the time and was still quite shattered after the mc to try and make the most of the time I did have.
Looking forward to Barcelona. Welcome relief that we both need. Is there anything we should definitely do when in Spain - Immaculada: any tips on where we shoud go, do or eat that will give us a true flavour of Spain?
Dad veering between good health and bad. Hope that he stabilises again soon. Doctors trying to reassure us that it is normal, and he will be fine. But the funny turn he took last night was not something we had prepared ourselves for. He is sleeping now, bless him. He is very tired and drained. He looks so frail.My mum is completely lost. I am grateful that we are here though. Just praying that dad doesnt take a step back again.
Michy: would like to second everything all these lovely girlies have said so far, please stay strong for both your daughter's and your own well being.
Reallyuseful: I will check out the bbc programme that you are raving about when I get a spare moment back at mum and dads this evening, if Im not too exhausted.All this worry and waiting around is doing my head in!Happy that WLmum and Reallyuseful are getting their figures back. Hope that everything gets back to normal soon for us all.
It's surprising how much we all tend to squeeze in without realising. I really need a proper break now!
waves and hugs to all x

I'm sorry your dad's health still isn't settling down, Diamonds!

Well, having lived in Barca for a month I would say the usual tourist spots are the ones well-worth seeing (although it's arguable if you're getting a taste of Spain or of Catalonia!)
So yes, Segrada Familia, Park Guell, the Gothic Quarter, a wander along the beach and the Port area are all well worth doing. Las Ramblas is a bit OTT if you ask me (uber touristy), but no harm in checking it out while you're there. Hang on to your handbag, though. I almost got mine nicked while in a tourist crowd in Barca.
Barca has a bicycle scheme, so it may be fun to grab a couple of bicis and cruise around in some of the less obvious areas.

Have fun!

Immaculada- well guess what? My bil LIVES in Las Ramblas- so no getting away from there! Personally, I too detest the tourist areas and abhor the typical Brit attitude of seeking out fish and chips rather than having a taste of the local cuisine and culture. Bil and family oversee and manage a property business out there and make their living by letting out to locals and tourists alike. Ideal location in terms of making money FOR THEM! Not my cup of tea, but it's horses for courses! :-)

Yes definitely hang on to your belongings on Las Ramblas as IC says! I thought I was pretty clued up but my friend and I had our mutual wallet (she was holding it I might add...) nicked there and ran out of cash because of it. I was young and stupid (and probably drunk) then however. But they are a crafty bunch of pickpocketers. Other than that Barca is great! Especially as you have a 'local' to take you round.

I am rather jealous, I really feel the need to get away at the moment. Again today I felt really good but something small put me on a downer for a while. Am back up again though, mentally making a note of all the things to look forward to. For me the down bit is not thinking anything about babies/children/mcs etc anymore it just feels like a hormonal, depressed downer thinking I have nothing to look forward to. But it's getting easier every day to bring myself around from this as I KNOW I have loads to look forward to! I think I have way too much time on my hands and on my own too, too much thinking time.

Sorry about the scare with your dad again Diamonds. How old is he? My dad is coming up to 72 and it's so scary seeing parents get older I find.

Michy sorry to hear your news was confirmed but good that you are doing something about the domestic situation.

Really You lived in the Caribbean?? Tell us more, in fact sod it, let's just go out for a drink and you can tell me in person. How does Thurs 5th sound to you?

Hi Pixie, Jemima, Blue and anyone else I have missed. What happened to BLL and Cream and Magic? Missing in action. Or probably got better things to do than mooch around here! Unlike me...

Freelance: sorry to hear that you're feeling blue again. I think you've nailed it on the head: too much time on your hands can sometimes leave us feeling a bit lost, and sometimes it can all become a bit much. Hope your OH cheers you up soon, or you start to get busier work wise! Thanks for the tips re: Spain. Will do my best to be careful then! My dad is 62. He only retired recently: mainly due to my mum and us kids pressurising him into it- he loved his job too much to contemplate it. Think that may have played it's part. We regret it in a way now. But who knows how these things pan out?Wish I could have joined you in your get together. Oh well, maybe next time. x

Oh, and the girls who have gone AWOL- just hope it's because they've got bigger fish to fry, and shaken off the melancholy which still haunts us sometimes. Wishful thinking? Hope not!

a HUGE icecream & wine Hugs to EVERYONE -

Bare with me, I'm slowing learning the name/places/actions of you all on here...

WL-thnx for info on supplements - i'm glad to hear that things went well for you on them - I'm gonna try natural again, but will remember them if we come across problems after that. xxx

REALLY : I LOVE the idea of the sing along sound of music - I can just picture us now - a bunch of wine & over sugared (icecreamed) enduced ladies singing along to:

"CLIMB EVERY MOUNTAIN" ! ! !

TRULY BRILLIANT .

check out this link :
www.princecharlescinema.com/events/index.php#singalonga

Re. my MOON CUP - I've stopped bleeding ! bleeding hec - I never thought I'd be annoyed by that... I'll hold on to moon cup (with it's lovely little bag) for my AF which should now be due around middle of may (fingers crossed) so will definately try it out then.

MICHY: sounds like you are being very brave. DD stands for Darling Daughter. We continue to be here for when you need anything.
DIAMOND: hope you have agreat time in Barcelona x sounds lovely.
DUCK: D&C not too bad - i found it helpful to know it was over...but everyone is different - good luck - will be thinking of you x oh & plenty of icecream/wine/soft&/or blue cheese/coffee/ etc.... delicious.

My apologies to everyone else as I've just had my dinner made for me & i've been called to go & eat it x

pixie
x

I'm here still!! I've been stalking this thread every few days, so not really up to date on all the latest, but had little time to post.

Close friend went into labour last week and I was on standby in my temporary role of kiddie and doggie daycare. Now that was an experience. Also had sister and nieces to stay, busy at work and with study. Then with the sun shining and my garden calling - my hours on the internet were limited!!

Looks like there's been lots of activity on here! I noticed some AF's have arrived, talking of which I'm now on CD14 (after my first AF after mc) and I have what I believe to be OV pains (& some other TMI ov signs) so to pounce on DP or not to pounce.....?? That is the question I am asking myself. The other question is: is day 14 to early for ov? My cycle has always been around 35+ days. Maybe the mc has put it all in check.

Sorry for not personally namechecking everyone and for not going over previous posts but my post would go on forever if I did. I'll try to be a better MNer in future and pop in and say hello more often x

Gosh, isn't it exciting when someone comes back after a while! And just so in keeping with Easter.

IT IS THE RETURN OF THE PRODIGAL POSTER! HALLELUJAH! Cream hello lovely girl, have been thinking of you. How lovely that you were entrusted with kids and dogs by your friend. She must love you a great deal. Your week sounds hectic but lovely, my favourite! RE. ttc. My advice is pounce! Have you seen the sperm and egg plan - oh who posted it? It was great. Or, just go at it like bunnies. (Oh MN, the things you say to people you haven't seen in person ) And Cream you are a very good MNer so don't worry if you can't post every day/week/month etc etc.

Diamonds I have been checking in for updates on your dad. I hope he stabilises soon. It must be tough for you and your mum. You seem to be very calm in a crisis, the best kind of person to have around. Big hugs to you and your family.

Yup, I agree with Freelance, I would love to go away. You know it's time for a holiday when you envy other people's experiences of being mugged.

Free Thursday 5th sounds perfect to meet up. I cannot wait. I am so excited! Oh heavens, imagine you're actually a groomer who can read the minds of ladies who have miscarried and lure them away... Probably not . Mind you, I'd be happily lured away by anyone with a bit of wine . Yup, definately need to get out for a night . And am so sad you are feeling blue. You can't be blue! You are our Baden Powell of m/c threads leader. Shall we sing you a song and wear woggles to cheer you up?

Does anyone else fancy coming too? Pixie, you might have missed this.. we are planning a meet up, are you London based too? Come along - and anyone else who fancies it who doesn't mind a ride on the train to get here! Isn't it funny, I feel I know you all and look so forward to reading what you write, but have no idea what you all look like. I would love to put a pic on but am not sure how to do it (and a bit shy).

I would love a sing a long. Oh ladies, shall we plan one? Can you imagine? It would be incredible

IC Oh, I want to go to Spain now so i can ask you where to go. Sounds so fabulous. Although I would be as fat as a baboon if I lived there. All that yummy ham and wine. Delish.

So, little old me went to the gym today. I managed half my workout but felt fantastic for it. I was halfway through and had that lovely moment when all the endorphins make you feel blissful. Ahh, so good. I am so unfit though. Don't care, it felt good, sod it. Will go tomorrow too if I'm not stiff.

Oh, and saw a rat today. That's nice for rodent phobic me. A dead mouse and a scampering rat, all in one week.

cream When I said she must love you a great deal, I meant that she must really trust you and think you're fab. Can everyone see my mad hormonal paranoia is back?

My DH said that ages ago actually, here I am pouring my heart out to you lot on mn and one of you is probably a fat, bald guy with a fetish for miscarrying women. That's not you is it Really..? You rat attracter. I can't believe you brought up Baden Powell. It's too close to reminding me that I never....sob....got into the Brownies.

Well done for the gym! I am going to PM you now Really to actually arrange some date details. We will be like the shy girls in the school playground who want to go up and say hello but just stand there looking at their feet in abject discomfort . Before they start downing Cinzano behind the bike shed. We need to do it now though whilst I have my fellow groomers on standby and the patio being dug we are still up for drinking and smoking like troopers and before we go back to clean living ttc lifestyles. Actually come to think of it I never had a clean living ttc lifestyle.

Hello Cream! Welcome back :)

Freelance I never got into the brownies either because i'm a big bald guy stalker because I was catholic and a bit brown, I didn't seem to fit! I am going to be pm-ed!

I am so excited!

Ladies, I have just started a thread under AIBU . I didn't tell you about it last week because it was all a bit nuts.. but have a look if you like and please agree with me. Argghhhh. What have I done, I am so scared that I will get flamed!!!