How are you feeling after MC?

[freelancegirl]

Hello everyone,

I though I would start a new thread for all of us who have been through a mc recently or not so recently and want to carry on swapping stories, bitching about crap feelings, celebrating any good feelings etc etc.

I will kick off, but I hope some of you will join me.

Bleeding has more or less stopped so am still worried about that 'last 2cm of product' the scan revealed still needed to emerge. Docs have given me antibiotics to ward off infection and am due back for another scan around 12th April.

Today I woke up feeling like shit! Emotionally I am still getting better but I feel so tired at times. I woke up feeling exhausted today, but there are other times during the day when I will be walking around fine and then suddenly feel totally knackered. No idea why. Hormones shifting? It's almost the same tiredness as had when pg. Sometimes I feel a bit sick too and am having the odd dizzy spell. I don't think there's any infection but like I said am already on antibiotics.

I am also really annoyed about my weight. I haven't weighed myself since the mc as don't have any scales at home but I go away at weekend so I can weigh myself tomorrow. But I know I had put on about 5lbs in the first trimester and my small jeans are still not fitting me. I was a bit of a gym bunny before getting pg (which coincided with xmas so I was eating more/exercising less anyway and had put on 3lbs, which I wasn't then bothered about as I knew I could shift it after xmas - not expecting to be a) pg and b) have an mc). Now I feel bloated and miserable about my weight because am guessing am around 8lbs heavier than my best. I realise there are other priorities but now there's no baby I would like to have my size and my energy back!

As regards moving forward and possibly ttc again, I have bought two cheap pg tests and when I am brave enough am going to see if I get a BFN. I feel that would be a step in the right direction to start with.

Hope all are well and feeling positive. Feel free to join in xxx

Happy Easter [busmile]!

I am hoping that those of you on the Period Podium have chocolate eggs perched in your gold moon cups. They really do come in handy.

We had a fiasco this morning because DD hauled herself up to the kitchen sink and had a good swig at the fairy washing up liquid. She was quite unimpressed and is still doing a few bubbly burps. I have made marzipan simnal cupcakes and am halfway through cooking a family easter lunch - whilst trying to figure out if it's wine o'clock yet. We bought a big flat on Richmond Hill which needs entire renovation, our planning app has been submitted but in the meantime I have just one working hob! I feel like a Victorian scullery maid.

So lovely to see everyone here . It's like a big family gathering, I wish you were all coming for lunch. And, we are ex-nazi nuns so today should have special meaning for us .

ilb Hurrah! Up on the podium with you. Freelance is sort of on it, since you're not entirely sure if it's an AF you may have to do Fonda-esque starjumps off it from time to time. I imagine there must be a tremendous sense of relief that it's turned up and you know you're not going mad.

IC Good to see you, I was hoping your French jaunt had gone well. Your DD is gorgeous, I'm figuring she's a few months younger than my DD. I suspect she'll be swigging on the washing up liquid before you know it. Our DD sleeps in our room and we have to ttc very quietly, and DH has been known halfway through to creep into the kitchen for a bottle of milk (not for him, that would be very, very weird).

Freelance I'm glad you're having a good time in Brighton. I went to brunch yesterday and proceeded to get very merry, erm although I was the only person drinking. I woke up at 5am this morning with the booze blues, remembered our pact, thought 'sod it' and got back to sleep. It worked! Still have slight hungover paranoia but hey ho!

Diamonds Oh, darn, we would have got there eventually, although you would probably have retired by the time we guessed it. You might not enjoy it but it's still a very impressive career. You must be sick of it though if you have just been to LA and STILL find it tiresome. What would you like to do if you could change?

Big Easter kisses xxxxxx

Goodness me, could I be falling more behind? Happy Easter to all of you. I thought our long (very long) car trip to my parents for Easter for the weekend would allow me to catch up but the road is too bumpy to type a meaningful post.

Sorry for not keeping up but I will catch up as soon as I can. AF arrived yesterday so I might have to brave the TTC threads!!

Hi again everyone

IC just read your blog - love the pic of your DD in her highchair, she has beautiful eyes.

We will also be TTC (properly this time) after AF. When I got pregnant last time we used the 'have sex every other day' method. It worked first time. I've also been reading about the 'sperm meets egg plan' which is along the same lines.

Freelance I did get AF - started this morning . Glad you are having a lovely time - enjoy your BBQ.

Diamonds - I was going to say librarian as your job (although I would actually love to be one) - I would have put lawyer in my top ten most exciting jobs, but I can understand it must be very demanding and hard work.

Really - what is Simnel cake? I've always wondered how to make it. I'm giggling at your DD's bubbly burps .

Sorry not to remember names.I'm doing this from my phone& it takes ages to scroll up&down the page. Then I get lost- @ the moment it doesn't take much x

THANK YOU ALL so much for yr replies. My apologies as I should have explained the anembryotic pregnancy thing.save all the Google searches.if anyone wants to know judt ask...

I think I'm holding it together now...kind of. the 3 week wait for what I was told would be 'painful heavy bleeding' but never actually arrived, was tough. Had anyone else experienced that? Every time I moved I thought 'is this it' ?? I think I totally lost all sense of any reality during that time.it was so stressful.wandering around with a huge pad thing on, scared of heamoraging at any time.urgh... wouldn't wish that one any one.
I read somewhere on here about lemon drizzle cake ... now I.am sure that is going to go down very well with a cup of tea.so thnx to who ever that idea came from x
Sorry for the the rather long rant/post, its just great to get things off my chest.

X pixie x

Ps. I'll b back at the gym on Tuesday so thnx for support .
Pps. Wots a moon cup?
Ppps. Where in France did .you :.. go? Only asking as I'm married to a French x (conception?)

Hello all

Here are the cupcakes. I think traditionally a simnel cake is decorated with 12 balls of marzipan to represent the apostles. However, in this recipe reworking they are replaced by mini eggs. Hmmm.

www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/3277/simnel-muffins

Big easter snogs xxx

Oooh thanks Really
They look delicious - does the marzipan go all squidgy in the middle?
Will keep these in mind for next Easter.

Hello all,

Hope you are all having a good weekend. After what has been a fun, sunny (well mostly), boozy weekend - I just had to leave a bbq after being convinced that one of the girls is pregnant and keeping it secret. She had put on some weight, wouldn't touch the parma ham and asparagus (yummy) and gave her hubby a funny look about the cat litter and was sticking to the coke but as she isn't a big drinker that isn't necessarily a sign. This completely threw me off concentrating about anything else so I had to come home.

Pixie - sorry to see you here but welcome. I think the time/waiting thing is the worse - I think if anything once I knew for sure I was going to miscarriage it was better than the not knowing but worrying- I even wanted an ERPC to allow me to draw a line under it all and move on. Not sure about the exercise thing if you have a D&C/ERPC as it may be down to the anesthetic but I have been running/gyming throughout my natural miscarriage and if anything it is about the only thing that has got me bleeding and kept me sane. As for bleeding - after initially being scared to leave the house incase the miscarriage started, to then going out armed with maxi pads, spare pants and painkillers - I found out at my scan last week that most of it had gone on its' own. I was very shocked and kept asking how I could have missed it. There was also virtually no pain. It seems that everyone seems to have different experiences and I think I was lucky from a pain and blood point of view.

diamonds good to hear what you do - never would have put lawyer as a boring mundane job although i guess most jobs do have an element of boring things that have to be done at some point.

really your renovation project sounds brilliant. my DH and I were just planning our grand designs house build project we want to do at some point. (we sit there and plan what we will build when we finally build our own place.) also richmond is a lovely place especially in this sort of weather. i used to live putney way and really miss it in the summer.

big hello's and happy easters to everyone else. (just realised i didn't get an easter egg so may need to go and buy some half price ones tomorrow!) x x

This my first Post on Mumsnet joined when I found out I was pregnant with my second Baby EDD 26 december...

This my second MC had one before my little girl at 6wk.5d. This one as come as a complete shock esp. because its a product of DV (Domestic Violence). The nightmare started when my partner got "angry" and pushed me off the bed unto my back this didn't have an impact I thought as I didn't feel any immediate pain, however I got up and was then pushed to the floor again, this is when I hit my side on the edge of the bed which caused what I can only describe as an awful shooting pain through my 1st tri Bump... The pain carried on through to Friday morning and Friday afternoon I started bleeding... I went to the hospital Saturday morning (which was more like friday night because it was Midnight) and waited to be seen they did a pregnancy test which turned out to be neg. But i knew I was pregnant after doing four Clearblue Digitals and morning sickness, Breast enlargements :), Feeling sick all through the day and my anemia was going crazy... They did a blood test and told me to come back to the EPU on Tuesday (Stupid Bank holidays)... Since then the bleeding and pain have all stepped up a gear and I just feel like crap!! Ontop of all that I still have to come home to a partner who lashes out at anything I say... I've got a face and neck thats bruised beyond recognition and I really need someone to talk to as I can't tell family/friends as he would find out... I just hope everything as passed naturally and I don't have the added pain of any medical assitance to worry about :( :(

Oh, michymommy, what a horrible situation to be in, my heart goes out to you.

I'm very worried about you and your DD - you are clearly in danger from your partner and you need support and safety ASAP. God knows, the emotions relating to losing a pregnancy are hard enough to cope with at times, without the added misery of being under threat all the time.

I know it's never as simple as "get out of there", but would you perhaps consider contacting Women's Aid? I am really concerned that you need help.

You can get advice from others who have had similar experiences (wrt the DV) on this board and strength from this one.
Also, this page may be able to offer some useful places to get help.

We can give you loads of support here, especially about the mc , so please come and talk to us whenever you want.
You don't deserve to be treated this way by your partner. Words cannot express how angry I feel about him, even though I've never met him.

Thanks everyone for your lovely comments about DD!

I'm salivating at the thought of those cupcakes. I love marzipan. Yum....

Sorry to hear about your bbq experience, LIG. That's hard.

pixie a Mooncup is basically a small bell-shaped thing made of silicon which you use during your AF. It catches all the gunk and you simply empty it out every so often and re-insert. It quickly saves loads of money that you would have spent on tampons and STs and because it's re-usable, it's much better for the environment. Can you tell I'm a recent convert? You can swim with them as well.
But they probably aren't quite up to dealing with a full-on mc. In fact, I used pads for that as I wasn't sure about possible infection etc. (as someone else said, there isn't any specific advice about that). Having said that, they pose no risk of TSS, so I imagine any risks would be lower than using tampons for the purpose.
BUT I heartily recommend them for normal menstruation. Bloody(!) brilliant.

Hello and welcome michymummy,

Your story was so sad and worrying. I really wish that I could do something to help. (If you think of anything I can do let me know - i would happily come over and take you and your DD away to get you away from a violent man.) Noone should have to go through what you and your DD are going through. I know that I have really needed my friends and family recently and I really feel for you all alone.

x x

Good morning all!

I have two minutes to write to will keep it brief and be back later to bore you all to tears.

Just wanted to say, Michy You poor thing. I am so sorry that this is happening to you. Along with Lig if there's anything I can do, let me know. I'm based in London - not sure if this is remotely near you and would happily look after your DD if you needed to rest or work out what you need to do. An hour, a day, I would be more than happy. And if you need somewhere to stay, I can send you my details and come and get you. I am sending you an enormous hug. xxxxx

Michymummy - please call 08082000247
(it doesn't show up on yr phone bill as anything so no one will know who u called) ... they can really help ... they are lovely people to talk to with absolutely no judgement or anything...just to talk about things.
I'm speaking from past personal experience - please x x
you can pm me if you need to.
Pixie x

I hope Easter is a relaxing time for people????

Thnx 4info on moon cup. Sounds great. And as I had d&c nearly 2 weeks ago& am only bleeding lightly, I guess it should be ok!!! I'll give it a try & see.

After reading all the posts on here it really seems a shame that nature can be so cruel & that soooo many people suffer because of miscarriage.
My 3 wishes are:
I wish we didn't torture ourselves about it.
I wish we were ALL much kinder to ourselves.
I wish it didn't happen.

Lots of chocolate hugs to every one x
& thnx again for the warm welcome I've been given here by everyone x

Pixie x

Hi all,

I mentioned foresight in an ealier post, for those of you who would like more info - I first came across them after ttc for a long time and finally getting on the wait list for IVF - used the waiting time to do some research about alternatives and came across Foresight - basically their approach is that lots of fertility problems including mc can be addressed by correcting imbalances in essential vitamins and minerals, and reducing harmful toxins. You send in hair samples which they analyse and comment. I had successful pg with DD1 after about 4 months on the programme - found out the week before our 1st IVF apt! When DD1 about 18 months old, got pg again, but mc at 6.5 weeks - not on foresight prog. Decided that this horrible experience was not to be repeated and went back on prog - had successful pg with DD2. Recently pg again - mc at 12 weeks - not on prog (when will I learn!). So 2 healthy pg on prog, 2 mc whilst not on prog. Have sent off hair samples again before ttc again.

www.foresight-preconception.org.uk/

They are super lovely people who made me feel instantly better after one phonecall and gave some 'control' back after horrible experiences with NHS.

I warn you - the supplements are nto for the faint hearted - I think at one time I took about 18 a day - laboriously one at a time cos I'm such a baby about tablets, but result was 2 DDs.

Good luck with what ever approach you all take. xx

Oh and their programme has been been validated by the University of Surrey.

Hello all,

Yes, the marzipan melts and goes all gooey. They were so easy to make too.

LIG I'm sorry that you had to leave your bbq early, I understand that completely. I imagine it gets easier but I live in fear of another pregnancy being announced. It's been nearly 6 weeks since I began to m/c and I'm still avoiding Facebook for that reason. I went for brunch today and a friend of a friend was there. I was eyeing her suspiciously (she rubbed her stomach) until she started talking about running marathons and dates - I nearly cheered! Terrible isn't it?

IC I bought a mooncup for m/c on holiday but didn't really get on with it. When my AF arrives I will give it a bash. Although I fear it will be so long before it arrives that it will have decomposed . Did it take you long to get used to it?

ILb The sperm meets egg plan sounds great, and pretty good fun too!

bll i hope you're having a good easter weekend.

Michy am really hoping you're okay. Keep thinking of you and how sad that your home isn't your sanctuary . If there is anything we can do to help, let us know xxx

pixie chocolate hugs back. I would LOVE to be married to someone from France, I always imagine they'd be awesome at cooking. Alas, DH is from Yorkshire, not quite so glam

Big waves at everyone else, have poorly dd on knee so can't write much! xxxxx

WLmum.
Is the programme/supplements expensive?
Did you feel good/energetic Or sick/bad?
How long did u have to take pills/supplements for?
As it sounds very interesting.

Sorry to be such a poor participant... Dad admitted in HDU after a heart attack while I was "resting" after last post. Dad lives in Manchester. Good 2.5 hours away from Oxford. We're still up north. Will return in a few days. Will try and post from phone when I can. Good to read all your little shenanigans!
Michmummy: please get help before it's too late. This is for your dd as well as you. You have made a choice to cohabit with this man, she didn't. I truly hope you have the strength to leave this abusive, life threatening relationship. I appreciate it's difficult as you're emotionally involved, however, it is not worth risking your life over, or your dcs. Wishing you all the best. Please do ring the number supplied above. All the support networks are in place you have literally just to say the word. Keep talking. It's a start.
Big hugs to all x
Where's freelance by the way?!

Aw, pixie, that's such a sweet little list!
Sorry, I realised I forgot to answer your France question...my mum lives in the Lot region, not far from Cahors, so in the SW of the country. It's a lovely area (but then so much of France is!)

It didn't take me too long to get used to the Mooncup, Really. You need to experiment a bit with what works for you in terms of putting it in and getting it out again, but it doesn't take long to get the hang of things. Good luck!

Reallyuseful: will try baking your simnel cake when I get back home. Sounds delish. Hope your dc gets better soon, nothing serious I hope. Hugs and kisses :-)

Diamonds Oh honey, I'm sorry to hear that your dad had a heart attack. I hope he is okay and I hope you are too. DD is fine, thank you. Just a bit teething I think.

IC You will regret ever telling me that you are a Mooncup pro. At some point I will be typing with one hand 'I.C, I think is's stuck, how do I get it out? Will stand her giving it a yank until you respond with advice'.

Sorry Diamonds X-posted...sorry to hear about your dad's heart attack. I hope he recovers well.

I can't remember who asked (was it you, Really?) but DD is just about 15 months now. And showing definite signs of toddlerhood....
Heh, the Mooncup helpline it is, then

IC It was me wondering how old DD was, she is very adorable. I hope you're practicing how to answer the Mooncup phone, you'll need to answer it in English AND Spanish.

LIG We are doing up the house and it is is fun and brilliant. It's falling to pieces so every now and again I do wonder if we did the right thing. And of course, small things such as finance keep throwing it off kilter. We have an architect, who is brilliant but I'm gearing up for a bit of a rebrief along the lines of 'can that partition be made of cardboard? by myself?' etc. Lovely to hear you were in Putney, just the other side of the park then! Where are you now?