How are you feeling after MC?

[freelancegirl]

Hello everyone,

I though I would start a new thread for all of us who have been through a mc recently or not so recently and want to carry on swapping stories, bitching about crap feelings, celebrating any good feelings etc etc.

I will kick off, but I hope some of you will join me.

Bleeding has more or less stopped so am still worried about that 'last 2cm of product' the scan revealed still needed to emerge. Docs have given me antibiotics to ward off infection and am due back for another scan around 12th April.

Today I woke up feeling like shit! Emotionally I am still getting better but I feel so tired at times. I woke up feeling exhausted today, but there are other times during the day when I will be walking around fine and then suddenly feel totally knackered. No idea why. Hormones shifting? It's almost the same tiredness as had when pg. Sometimes I feel a bit sick too and am having the odd dizzy spell. I don't think there's any infection but like I said am already on antibiotics.

I am also really annoyed about my weight. I haven't weighed myself since the mc as don't have any scales at home but I go away at weekend so I can weigh myself tomorrow. But I know I had put on about 5lbs in the first trimester and my small jeans are still not fitting me. I was a bit of a gym bunny before getting pg (which coincided with xmas so I was eating more/exercising less anyway and had put on 3lbs, which I wasn't then bothered about as I knew I could shift it after xmas - not expecting to be a) pg and b) have an mc). Now I feel bloated and miserable about my weight because am guessing am around 8lbs heavier than my best. I realise there are other priorities but now there's no baby I would like to have my size and my energy back!

As regards moving forward and possibly ttc again, I have bought two cheap pg tests and when I am brave enough am going to see if I get a BFN. I feel that would be a step in the right direction to start with.

Hope all are well and feeling positive. Feel free to join in xxx

It will be like a weird blind date with all parties feeling a bit odd until we have had a couple of drinks and can move from the polite conversation into full on discussing blood/discharge/sac passing/crying/brass band playing ovaries/hysterical laughter mode I for one can't wait! Weekdays are good for me as obviously I have my seaside abode to visit on weekends... Yes it is pretty hardcore running two mortgages AND a work/life balance. I think my life balance is particularly good to be honest but my regretting pissing about as I stare mournfully at the bank account at the end of the month is pretty heavily weighted too. Do Richmond trains go into Waterloo? Waterloo is always good for river based activities. Not in the boating/waterskiing kind, in the sitting and drinking wine by the river kind. Evening or day time? I can do anything as my heavily weighted Life balance would demonstrate.

Yes indeed good luck with the revision LIG. Hey if I remember rightly what the G stands for you are pretty well based to come along for a drink too! Exams aside. What is a CFA? You made me laugh out loud at Costa coffee at the M25 service station earlier when you said you think DH is getting a bit fed up with your constant toilet updates. I think mine might flush my head down the toilet if I give him another seepage (eewww!) update or bowel activity update. So I will give you one instead :) : Blood, I think. Have resorted to tampons. But occasionally they have nothing on them. Hmmm.

Just arrived in beautiful Brighton and the first thing I did was jump on the scales. Last weekend I was ten stone exactly - a very depressing 9lbs heavier than pre pg weight, which in itself was a post-Christmas weight but one I am ok with. I swore to myself I would be happy if i were to be anything under 10 stone. Weighed 9 stone 12 and 3/4 but sure I will be lighter tomorrow morning. So it is going in the right direction.

Really I love this board too in the way that I have forgotten how on earth we managed to link lemon drizzle cake with fetal poles but however we did it, I am so glad we did Never again will I be able to eat my favourite cake without thinking of a miscarriage. Which to some people would be rather off putting and not at all funny, but hey, those people are not us

Diamonds ! You can come out the van now! We won't grass you up if you promise to give us a cut. And a free blanket.

Hey!
Really you've got me thinking about lemon drizzle cake now. Will have to learn how to make one - have recently discovered crumble made a plum and dried apricot one earlier this week more because that was what was in my house.

Free I am also thinking your work life balance does sound really nice. Any way that I could get to hold onto two houses and go to the gym/pub during the working day sounds good. Also, I would love to have a weekday place and then somewhere to go at weekends.

I'd be up for a meet up. I am in Guildford for now but then should be in the Redhill, Reigate area soon when we move. Trying to find a place near the station so the DH can get to London for work and I can get to work in Gatwick. London is pretty easy for me.

Really I'm Doing a diploma in Business Analysis. Which really means looking at what a company does and trying to understand and implement changes to make it happen. Work are paying which is nice! What is CFA?

Free - am I allowed to use tampons? That would make my life alot easier although the toilet checking wouldn't be so much fun! Well done on the weight loss.

Think it is hometime now - my office is empty. x

Toilet checking has gone to tampon checking and is not nearly as much fun indeed. I know you're warned off tampons when actually having a mc, which is probably still what stage you are at, but having been bleeding for a whopping 33 or more days I just caved in. I have found some towels lying around so might use those later. Towels are such a pain though.

OOh a diploma in Business Analysis sounds very clever :) Yes, time to go home LIG and get some sun! I might go and celebrate my 1.25 lbs weight loss with an ice cream on the beach, a low carb dinner and a bucket of wine. I am like those people that order an extra large Big Mac meal and then a diet coke.

Hurray for blood! Hurray for Free! Up on the podium with you!

Oh can you imagine the meet up? You'll arrive late, there will be 2 ladies at the bar wearing wimples drinking straight from the bottle and holding packs of always ultras. We have to do it! Waterloo sounds perfect. Shall we do a work day evening so LIG can get in to London after work. Does that work for everyone? And why don't we waterski? I don't see why the sanitary products should hold us back.

LIG That part of Surrey is so pretty, what a nice place to live. If I wasn't such a London girl and I could drive etc we would have considered moving there. My DH is mad about crumble. I swear it's the greatest seduction food in this house. Sad but true. Oooh, that sounds like a very clever exam and lovely that work are paying.

CFA stands for Chartered Financial Analyst and the study seem to involve bashing away at the calculator and sighing alot.

I love our fluid updates, they are great. Free I bought a mooncup just before we went on holiday. I thought i might be able to wear a bikini if I used it. Yeah, right. Actually ended up using pads and wearing shorts at all times. And permanantly worrying that I would bleed in the children's pool and it would be like the parting of the red sea. I can see why you might want to switch to tampons at this point. I am assuming that you have probably bought up all the local sanitary towel stock at Boots anyway.

Am very pleased to hear about your weight loss, I bet it'll start falling off you now. Loved the Big Mac and Diet Coke comment! I have been known to eat 20 chicken nuggets on the low carb diet I invented for myself. . It is very wrong.

Is it almost the weekend? Woo hoo!

Hello again - still here for my sporadic check in! love seeing all the chat going on and how upbeat everyone is......just so loving all this sunshine.
Freelance how lovely to have the weekend in Brighton - we are not too far from there and I love it.
So my 'me me me' latest update af has finished (if it indeed was af) so guess I am now officially thinking about ttc again......anyway off to bed here......tired tired tired, have a good weekend everyone!

Hiya folks, remember meeeee [buhmm] Just popping in to say Hi! I'm keeping up with everything that's going on, it's just that personally I find it easier for my speedy recovery if I try to stop obsessing and do me very best to stop thinking of myself as someone who's just had a miscarriage. We're all different but after three in such a short space of time I'm learning some coping skills...sadly.
Please don't worry those who are still bleeding, I bled for six weeks after both the earlier mmc's, and have found that after this one (pregnancy stopped at 12+4) I stopped after just a week so my conclusion is that it's the Erpc that clears things much more quickly.
I'm really please to hear you all chatting away, and hasn't this wonderful weather helped the feel good factor enormously??? We've spent the last week in the garden, which has been lovely..and more importantly, cheap!!! My friend and I booked that little trip I was telling you about, we're going to Majorca on the 4th May so have spent the last week in the gym, after sitting on the settee eating biscuits for three months it's been quite a shock to the system I can tell you, but as all those that exercise will confirm it really really helps, something to do with the endorphins I think, i only discovered the Gym 6 months after my first mmc, and I swear it was was my saviour. Anyway sorry to ramble on, just lovely to lurk here listening to you fabulous laydees.
Oh and how funny that of all the places in the world you picked Waterloo for your meet up...my sister lives there xxx

sorry i didn't mean to be rude about obsessing, i've just read that back. Didn't mean it how it sounded...I'm more of an avoider, not healthy (probably) but it's my only coping strategy I'm afraid. I'm all or nothing when it comes to most things, so i tend to pretend every thing is ok until one day, it is!!! Does that make any sense?

Mopey! Lovely to hear from you, oh heavens, about to start ttc again. I think you're the first on this thread to pass that post! Are you nervous? Am hoping you are enjoying the sunshine

Big I was wondering how you were getting along in the holidays, am so glad you've had a good break and have enjoyed the garden. Thank you for the reassurance about the bleeding. No, I totally understand that you are dealing with this in the way that helps you more.. and to be honest it sounds positive and healthy. Good for you. Nice to hear from you though. Good work with the gym visits, Freelance has been the thread's equivalent to Jane Fonda. The two of you are an inspiration, I might go and dust off my trainers. Oooh, that break sounds good. Did you get that good deal on tickets you were talking about?

Anyway we can tempt you ladies with a beer in Waterloo?

Hello everyone

Hi BFF - glad you are doing well, you sound very positive, and like you are taking great steps towards getting back to normal.

Hope this is really AF for you Freelance - sounds like it might be.

Well, AF is due for me today - had cramps for the last two days so think it is definitely imminent which would be great as it means I'm back to 30 day cycles. I did a HPT this morning, just in case, and it was negative.
I was initially disappointed but now feel like a big weight has been lifted - it seems I'm not quite ready to get back on that pregnancy rollercoaster yet, I'm happy to wait in the queue for a bit longer.

Have a fab Easter weekend everyone x

Hi sorry haven't checked in! WORK WORK WORK since i started back. Glad everythings going ok with everyone! I have a lot of stomach pain at the moment so thinkin i may ring the doc if it gets much worse! On my phne so very difficult to go back and check names sorry xxx

ReallyUsefulEngine what is it that has confused you? Happy to explain!

blue ive just realised your from shropshire! where abouts? x

Hello everyone!

I hope you have all enjoyed a day in the sun!

I will respond properly tomorrow.

WL Hello! Am sorry, didn't recognise you, did you post earlier in the thread? I hope you are okay and thanks for the info! Would love some more details and apologies if you have posted before and I didn't recognise you

Hi pnjeff - I'm in Shrewsbury. Where are you? Hows your stomach pain today?

I'm going to have a moan, so I apologise in advance.
I'm fed up - still no bleeding but have had cramps for the past few days, to the point where I had to use a hot water bottle yesterday.
Felt awful yesterday - kept getting dizzy spells and had an on and off headache all day. I'm only one day late so I know I shouldn't be moaning but its annoying. I've been worrying myself silly about all the things that could cause problems with periods (and might also explain miscarriages too) and I know it doesn't help.
And I'm definitely not pregnant - come on body, sort yourself out!

Okay, grumble over

Morning all.

iloveblue i am not an expert on period pain as only had one real period since i was 16 (this december) as apart from that i was on the pill. If that isn't normal for you is it worth giving a call to the GP in case it is something else? I hope you feel better soon.

free I know what you mean about the big mac and diet coke - I completely confuse people in starbucks by ordering a light frappucino with cream and a rocky road. I sort of feel that the 'light' bit helps neutralise the cream and rocky road.

really the chartered financial analyst sounds a little bit more difficult. mine is fairly easy which is sort of good as at the moment my brain is not doing very well. i was blaming nappy brain but i don't think that will go down very well.

pnjeff i hope that the pain is subsiding.

big i think that it is good that you are finding that your own way of coping. i am feeling bad that i have told some friends and not others - it is nice to have the friends that are checking i am ok and i can talk about things with but it is equally nice to be 'normal' with other people and pretend it never happened.

Good news from me - got a BFN yesterday - never thought that i would be happy about that but I guess it means I am nearer to moving on. Waiting for my DH to get up so we can go out for a bike ride and lunch and then go up to london later for a drinking session. (We weren't going to go to London as it was going to be a big drinking group but now I can drink again we thought why not!!)

Have a good weekend all. Big hello's to anyone i not mentioned!! x x

Hi blue I'm in Newport had to go to shresbury when I found out

pain is a little better but I'm working 8-8 have done 2 do far and another 2 to go. I seem 2 feel Ill all the time but I think when I get some time of on monday I may feel better. I did ask work to go easy with my shifts but they seem to think I should be ok now!

I've bin thinking about work and as a cater I do a lot of lifting n have convinced myself this is what caused the miscarriage. Is that possible?

Hope everyone is ok x

Carer*

Hello everyone - I wanted to thank all the posts on here - they have really really helped me x

I had anembryotic pregnancy ! & Like most people, we had no idea what this was - how can the body be pregnant with no baby/embryo ? ? very weird ...

That was all finally over on 12th April after a (painless & successful) D&C op. I was 10 weeks gone. This was carried out after an agonising month of hospital visits, spotting - empty scans & then a 3 week wait for nature to take its own course - which it didn't ! ! I wish I'd had the strength to find this thread then as that was an awful time.

I'm still bleeding but starting to feel so much better about the whole experience (but would also like to know what this extra weight is?). We are hoping to start trying again in June/July!

If anyone else is going through this/would like to chat, I'd be more than happy to ... Pixie x

Hello gang [busmile]

I hope everyone got a few minutes at least in the sunshine today.

ilb Oh, I am in the same boat, I feel so premenstrual, although unlike you am not strictly due now, just feel bloated, my skin has gone bonkers and I'm starving hungry. I hope, hope, hope that you get your spot on the period podium very soon. The dizzy spells sounds awful, do you think you might be anaemic? It might be worth you taking some iron supplements. I know the feelings and agonies about periods and miscarriages and racing thoughts. Tell us what's on your mind, we might be able to advise or put your mind at rest

Lig I imagine you're having a rip roaringly good time with DH on your London night out, I hope you have a great time and look forward to hearing all the details tomorrow. And great to hear you're getting a break from the books for a night. We shall be hear with fizzing alka seltzers for you in the morning.

PNJ Oh honey, am sorry that you are still tender and have been working such full on shifts. I have to say I don't think the lifting and physical aspect would have had any bearing on your m/c and am sorry that you are worried it might have been a factor. I hope you are okay and perhaps it would be worth asking your doctor, just to put your mind at rest. And if you can, please tell work to go easy on you.. you should decide when you are up to working again (in an ideal world, clearly).

Pixie Welcome, am so sorry to hear of your loss. I had to google what an anembryotic pregnancy was - gosh, how upsetting for you to deal with such a cruel physical trick. I am glad the D&C was painless and successful, one less thing for you to suffer through. I had a suspected ectopic and again, had a few weeks of scans and nothing appearing on the ultrasound. A very sad and dark time. It turned out to be a blighted ovum in the end for me. Anyway, we know all about letting nature take its course on this thread. And yes, a shame you didn't find us sooner - we would have held your hand, but we're here to hold it now . Write away, we are here and are always willing to have a bash at figuring out what the bejazus is going on!

And don't even begin about the extra weight thing. I threw my fecking scales in the bin today.

ahhhh thnx REALLY x
I have a questions someone here might be able to answer. how long after a D&C is my period likely to come? & how will I know? as I had the op. on 12th April. my period was due (as per my pre pregnancy calendar) on 17th? so how could I now if the bleeding is from d&c or my period? any ideas anyone?

Also - I've read on here about the loooooong use of pads/towels after a mc... it's only been 11 days & I am SO tired of them. I'm desperate to go swimming (to start the flabby tummy reduction workout) & to get back to the gym, but have been told to wait until bleeding stops -eh....& not to use tampons... I've read this could take as long as 30 days (or longer depending on period) ...? please, someone give me some hope???

pnjeff - my surgeon told me that lifting heavy things does not make miscarriage happen - they either happen or they don't ... please don't torture yourself more ... it's an emotional enough time without stressing youself more. try to be kind to yourself x

thanks.
Pixie x

Pixie Oh, goodness. I think so far on the thread we have had a couple of ladies who got their periods after 30 days roughly - so kind of in line with a cycle. I think you should expect to get it by 6 weeks after (yup , the longest 6 weeks ever I imagine). I did read somewhere that there should be 20 days between the end of your m/c bleeding and your period, if there isn't it's just your m/c clearing out any remaining blood etc. But, as I am sure you have figured, there seem to be no clear rules really! If I woke up tomorrow with a fluffy tail I would assume it was a m/c symptom and wouldn't bat an eyelid.

Freelance who started the thread has been bleeding for quite a while (erm, set the world record I imagine . But that now seems to have turned into her af. But she has been going to the gym for the last couple of weeks so am sure you can too? If it helps, I bought a mooncup as I had to go on holiday just as I began to miscarry and I thought I might be able to do it daintily and discreetly as I frolicked in the pool. Alas not! I couldn't find any info on whether they were safe but they seemed more appropriate than tampons and like every woman in the world, who likes flipping sanitary pads? Didn't use it in the end but I did spend 10 days on the poshest toilet in the world . Might be worth you getting a mooncup now so you can have a swim?

And yup, understand the flabby tummy etc. I would read a few of the recent posts, one of the lovely ladies - I think it was Big said exercise really helped her physically and mentally. The more I think about it the more I am sure you could discard the no exercise advice!

Hi everyone and Happy Easter Sunday

Hi Pixie - I'm sorry for what you've had to go through. I too had to google anembryonic pregnancy as I'd never heard of it.
Regarding AF's, I had a natural miscarriage and bled for a week and then got AF on CD 33 - 3 days later than normal. I was earlier on than you though, was 7/8 weeks when I started miscarrying. The usual time scale is 4-6 weeks.

Thanks for the support really - it was much appreciated. AF turned up today Its only 2 days late - had a 32 day cycle this time compared to 33 day cycle last time so it's getting there. I think I over-reacted slightly - but I am prone to doing that recently .
I just couldn't get my head round the fact I'd had painful AF cramps but no AF. The dizziness has stopped now, but I still keep getting mini headaches - I do suffer from migraines so could be related to that, or stress or those damn hormones again!

pnjeff I've read that it is a myth that lifting heavy things can cause a miscarriage. Hope your tummy is feeling better.

Happy Easter everyone! [busmile]

Well, we're back from France after a very pleasant sojourn with my Mum and her man. Blog here if anyone's interested - but beware, there's a lot of focus on DD (if you're feeling a bit raw on the subject of offspring at the moment).

darlingred, I'm so, so sorry to hear what happened to you. What a horrible shock. Please feel free to unburden yourself with us any time you want.

Likewise pixie, that's a tough one. I'm impressed at how perky you sound, though - good for you. Good to have you aboard.

Yes, I believe bleeding does tend to stop more quickly after ERPC than a natural mc. In my case, the spotting stopped after about three weeks and my period came about a week after that. I suspect the mc will kind of count as a period in some respects, so you need to factor that in to the equation when considering when your next AF might be due.

blue I laughed at you "casually seducing" your DH!

Likewise I enjoyed freelance & Really speculating on
Diamonds' job...heh!

Well, now AF has happened, I reckon I'll be ov around the 30th of the month, so this coming week it's all systems go.
Luckily DH doesn't require much in the way of encouragement [bugrin].
Having said that, DD has a bunch of jabs on Wed, which may cause some bad nights AND we've got friends staying for a few days from Thurs (Royal Wedding renegades) which will put DH and I in separate rooms, so I'll be surprised if ttc is successful this month, but you never know... Anyway, it'll be fun.

PS stinky unpasteurised cheese in the post for everyone.

Ok, a bit of catching up to do. I have been out socialising, eating, drinking, weighing myself miserable, knicker watching and generally enjoying the sunshine. THIS is what the weather should be like all year!!! Or at least 6 months of it.

Hello again Mopey and also BigFlip. I know what you mean, it?s good to be out and about taking your mind off things and definitely booking a holiday. I am not going away until first week in June and that?s home to see mum and dad in Spain, but am very much looking forward to it. Mopey starting to ttc? Hurrah? You must keep us updated. I hope you will be SWI (only just found out what this means and I like it!). I love Mallorca. It?s beautiful.

BigFlip it is reassuring about the bleeding lasting 6 weeks and that seeming normal. I think you are right, people who have had natural mcs seem to bleed longer. I really am not sure if I was/am having af. It doesn?t seem like it has been enough blood! And it has never got very far out of the brown stage, just a bit of dark red (nice, as you are all tucking into Easter eggs?) and this morning there is just nothing! It seemed more that I would expect for that last 1.5cm to come out but less than an af would have been. I guess I will only time will tell.

Did you get af in the end Blue? I have had the same thing with random cramps and dizzy spells. The bloating has been ridiculous too. Am so fed up of it. It is intermittent now but at the end of the day I can feel very bloated. It would be good to see bodies starting to slowly but surely move on. Like Really I have started to take iron tablets ? having bled for 35 days I think it can only help.

I am indeed rather like Jane Fonda, Really, sitting here in my pink, high legged leotard and leg warmers, one leg casually slung past my ear? Actually although I got to the gym on Friday I didn?t go yesterday and won?t go today and will be making in-roads into obesity by consuming half my body weight in alcohol again. Must do better this week.

LIG I too still have nappy brain. I am forgetting names, places, small details that I am usually brilliant at remembering. Very frustrating. Glad you got the BFN, it?s a really good start. Sorry you are in pain PNJ and working too! Eeeww.

Hello Pixie! Gosh I had to look that up too. Sounds like you have been through an awful time. I can?t answer you about the extra weight but I can certainly emphathise. I have put on around 8-9lbs since getting pg and having a mc but the last 3 of those have been post mc and I just don?t understand it. I am drinking a bit and not exactly eating like an angel but I am working out and generally doing what I did when I was lighter and am still this weight. Also I get very bloated. A couple of the girls on here have said it?s probably hormones and the body taking longer not to realise it is pg than the brain. Also I think the uterus has been slightly enlarged and needs to go back again. Very frustrating though. I am with you on that one. I am back working out at the gym and this week, around 33 days after mc started, used a few tampons as I was just fed up. I would say there can be no harm in using them for short periods (ha!) such as going swimming.

I probably won?t be ttc again until July too as will hopefully have treatment.

Welcome home IC ? just read your blog. It sounds amazing! DD is soooooooo cute. I just read the bit about your honeymoon too. Sounds fabulous. What a lovely way to take time off work and travel.

I?ve got plenty more to write but DH is giving me stern looks and threatening to remove my laptop as I have to get in the shower and head to a BBQ (still in sunny Brighton until tomorrow) so got to run. Hello to anyone I have missed. Definitely up for drinks Really and the rest xx

Hi all! Sorry to have disappeared as long as I did... Job related! Don't know why I got you all guessing about my poxy job now- I'm an overworked and very tired lawyer. I work for a huge corporation. Don't know why I chose this profession- was very interesting and challenging early on in, now it's just plain tiresome, and gets in the way of "living".
Hi to all. Pleased for all the afs, sorry for the losses, and hope that the ladies miscarrying at the moment are being looked after. Sorry not to namecheck on phone, and heading for bed- just arrived home from LA. Promise to participate as soon as I'm rested. x