How are you feeling after MC?

[freelancegirl]

Hello everyone,

I though I would start a new thread for all of us who have been through a mc recently or not so recently and want to carry on swapping stories, bitching about crap feelings, celebrating any good feelings etc etc.

I will kick off, but I hope some of you will join me.

Bleeding has more or less stopped so am still worried about that 'last 2cm of product' the scan revealed still needed to emerge. Docs have given me antibiotics to ward off infection and am due back for another scan around 12th April.

Today I woke up feeling like shit! Emotionally I am still getting better but I feel so tired at times. I woke up feeling exhausted today, but there are other times during the day when I will be walking around fine and then suddenly feel totally knackered. No idea why. Hormones shifting? It's almost the same tiredness as had when pg. Sometimes I feel a bit sick too and am having the odd dizzy spell. I don't think there's any infection but like I said am already on antibiotics.

I am also really annoyed about my weight. I haven't weighed myself since the mc as don't have any scales at home but I go away at weekend so I can weigh myself tomorrow. But I know I had put on about 5lbs in the first trimester and my small jeans are still not fitting me. I was a bit of a gym bunny before getting pg (which coincided with xmas so I was eating more/exercising less anyway and had put on 3lbs, which I wasn't then bothered about as I knew I could shift it after xmas - not expecting to be a) pg and b) have an mc). Now I feel bloated and miserable about my weight because am guessing am around 8lbs heavier than my best. I realise there are other priorities but now there's no baby I would like to have my size and my energy back!

As regards moving forward and possibly ttc again, I have bought two cheap pg tests and when I am brave enough am going to see if I get a BFN. I feel that would be a step in the right direction to start with.

Hope all are well and feeling positive. Feel free to join in xxx

Hi Magic! Nice to see you back old girl! Was quite worried about you! Don't blame you for making the most of your dc during the day and enjoying your Dh and a glass of wine in the evenings, it sounds very therapeutic. Good to know your back in the swing of things x

Reallyuseful: I'm really into my pjs and nighties at the mo! In different ones every day of the week! Ooh the glamour! They're really cozy though :-) ! X

Had a peep over at 'Conception' but I still dont feel brave enough to join anything yet! DP said he was keen to try again and am keen not to waste time waiting for AF when we could be practising Really! Seen too many posts where people say they regretted waiting. And, tbh, we manage 'it' so rarely these days, well..! I dont know how everyone here feels but if we do manage to conceive again its going to remain a big fat secret for a very long time.

Enjoy your evening everyone, onwards and upwards! Diamonds I hope you start to feel better soon. I havent managed to keep up with everything very well but, while its good to rest, I found it hard after a week to get out and face everyone but it is good to get out and about if you can.

Hola all! Out drinking still but will do a comprehensive update tomorrow when back on laptop. Glad to see magic back! Xx

Good for you Free!

I hope Big is doing okay, she has her 3 DDs to entertain over the hols - would be good to hear from her.

Am going to have an early night. It was that mention of pyjamas!

Hi new to this! i was spotting brown so went to the EPU for a scan 31/3/11! would have been 11 weeks 2 days but heartbeat had stopped at 9 weeks! I feel a bit better about it now! The whole thing was made more difficult as we saw the heartbeat at 8 weeks 3 days! I feel as though i'd like to start ttc again next month but my partner doesn't seem to keen! i just don't know what to do!! BTW i think your all amazing this is the worst possible thing to go through!

Magic: I know what you mean about being cooped up inside. I'm dreading facing the outside world at the moment. I need my rest for now though. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. This pain is bugging me.
Hi pnjeff: sorry for what you're going through, it is hard. Did you have an ERPC or are you miscarrying naturally. Feel free to share your feelings and concerns here. We're all unfortunately in the same boat here. But we do our best to help each other out. The girlies here have been very supportive to me, especially when I had no one to confide to in real life. This virtual support makes real life more bearable. Please make yourself at home x

Hello fellow Nunsnetters :) Hope you all had a good weekend.

Ok, where did I leave it??

LIG hope you are feeling ok. Am sure you are looking forward to getting Wednesday out of the way so you know you can move forward. Did you go to work? Can?t help you with the moving, but both style of place sounds nice! I think if you had a baby you would adjust wherever you live so just move somewhere you feel happy in.

Really and IC, I wanted to chuck the bloody scales out of the window, I am telling you. I wanted to burgle everyone?s houses too and throw their bloody scales (bathroom AND kitchen) out of the window (WITHOUT jumping on them naked first). But I took a deep breath, drank lots, ate several puddings and thought f*ck it I will start again today. Breakfast of yoghurt and berries already consumed with plans to do lots of gymming this week and try not to be too hard on myself. And yes hopefully Diamonds is right, that because the mc is still continuing I am bound to be a bit swollen and odd still and after af (where the feck is it??) I will hopefully find it easier.

Diamonds your BBQ sounds lovely! Sorry to hear you have been in pain. Glad you went to the gp and got some stronger pain killers. I needed those too. And it is good that you have antibiotics finally. Silly they didn?t give them to you at the off really just in case. But am sure they will clear up the infection asap. I am still having the odd pain too so I am aware it doesn?t go away quickly unfortunately. A friend over the weekend who had had a mc years ago told me it took her about three months to physically get over it. Are you feeling a bit better today? Do try to get some fresh air if you can and maybe see a good friend to chat to.

Gosh Really that sounds like a rough night you had on Saturday. What a bummer. It must have been really upsetting. So their baby is due the same day yours would have been? Ouch. Actually I had something similar, I think I might have mentioned it, when one of my closest school friends (who didn?t know I had been pg) posted her 12 week scan to announce her pregnancy on fb the other week. It was due the same week as I would have been, so to see a LIVE SCAN so casually posted really did something to me. I felt very strange but was at home and could sit and feel strange, so I can imagine how hard it must have been to have heard that face to face when you are out.

Actually my best friend told me this weekend that one of her ?baby friends? she made since having her 14 month old has had a mc. I think she went along for the 12 week scan and found out then it had died at 9 weeks. She was given a ERPC but was apparently very shocked and upset as she already has three DCs and just didn?t expect this. My best friend was taking it badly as she was quite upset about what happened to me and now this has happened to another friend.

Cream, I can really identify with that getting teary thing when you go out for drinks. Last week and the week before, every time I had a few drinks I have shed a few tears or had a bit of a row with DH. I have started waking up with that feeling of dread, having to mentally run through the nights happenings to check I didn?t do anything out of order, didn?t ?drink and text? anyone I shouldn?t have or say anything weird to anyone. Luckily I think this weekend, having drunk copious amounts and managed not to do anything cringe worthy, I think I am coming out of the other side of that. But what I have started to do ? and hopefully I will address this now I am trying to be a bit healthy again ? is wake up in the middle of the night and wonder what the alchohol is doing to my system. Hell, I?ve been sitting drinking in pubs and bars since I was about 13 years old! And I am still doing it now. As more of my friends have kids it often seems to be just me and the boys. Maybe I have been out drinking with boys for a bit too long now?? Or maybe not? We had a lovely night on Saturday around our friend?s house in the country, really chilled out, sat around the lovely house drinking wine and chatting and having a lovely dinner and then more of the same in the garden for a very sunny breakfast. And then yesterday DH and I had to go out with a good male friend of ours to check out the town he is going to be working in, so we did a bit of a pub crawl and again had really lovely food. And at least 4 cigarettes. Oops. Oh well, healthy again this weekend and trying not to binge drink like a marauding teenager next week.

Hello Blue yes that does sound really upsetting, hope you are feeling a bit better now. We know there are going to be moments like that, unfortunately.

Magic! Great to have you back. I think I agree that if I got a BFP again I would keep it very quiet for a while too (apart from here obviously). But then again some part of me thinks I would want to tell people straight away too to warn them we might go through it again. Not sure. Whilst flicking over to Conception you might have noticed that one of our previous posters, Harassed, had a BFP over the weekend! Good news!! Hope it is sticky this time.

Hello pnjeff and welcome to the thread. Your story sounds very sad and unfortunately one that we can all relate to. Quite a few of us are ttcing and a few are waiting. Just do what is right for you. Glad our random witterings have been of some support.

Phew! Anyone I missed? Apart from BLL who is probably asleep on the other side of the world.

Ooh, sorry for the weird bold bits.

Magic Yes, I feel the same - the conception boards seem far too scary right now, although we are vaguely trying, or rather not using anything. Don't think anything will happen this month so just holding out for AF now. Feels about 10 years in one way and 2 seconds in other ways since all this happened.

pnjeff Am sorry to hear what you're going through. As asked by Diamonds Will you be having an ERPC or miscarrying naturally. If you have any questions, we'll do our best to help. Sorry that you found yourself in this awful situation but it's really friendly here.

Diamonds Any improvement on the symptoms? I hope you got a good nights sleep. Am with you and Magic - I hid from the outside world too and am just feeling brave enough to start getting out again and getting on with normality.

Well, I have decided (you will all get deja vu) to try to be good this week since last week was a write-off from Thursday onwards. I did a healthy, healthy shop and am steering clear of the wine. We'll see! If I can be good until Thursday and fit in a trip to the gym I will be very pleased with myself.

Big waves to everyone!

x-posts Freelance Ahh, good to have you back! Will read through immediately and answer after chores. I am tumble drying pillows and I am quite excited to see if they go all 'puffy' when they're dry. And I wonder why I drink so much .

Okay, I must never attempt that again. I now have sopping wet pillows full of boiling hot feathers.

LIG I forgot to comment on the houses you were seeing and keep thinking of it. I agree with Freelance - either sounds lovely. But think the pool in the grounds would be lovely and you could easily stay there for a year or two after you had a baby - probably v. hard for you to think of/plan for in light of the m/c. Sorry to hear you have to choose at the moment, I find it hard enough deciding small things let alone the big things. I am hiding from the world, so would probably insist on a cave.

Freelance Your weekend sounds great, it sounds like great fun, lots of good company, wine and food. If you are planning on getting back in to a healthier lifestyle it sounds like a good blow out before you tuck into the mung beans. I get the morning after paranoia too, but I have had it for a good few years now! Have to run to the mac and my phone to see what I was up to - not good is it? . The other thing I have started doing is waking up roasting hot and panicking at about 5am and having to go through all the things I remember from the night before and ascertain I didn't murder anyone etc. Terrible, terrible. Have been known to wake up DH to check (which goes down like a lead balloon).

Anyway, I am being like Ghandi this week and will sleep the sleep of the innocent.

Yup, the very same due date - out of all those days in the year! It must have hurt to have seen the scan, how dreadful. I am hoping they don't whip it out next time we see them. Which I want to avoid for a good 5 years right now.

That is amazing news from Harrassed. I hope it's a sticky one too.

Really I can't believe exactly you just described my post-drink feeling at the moment! Every time I have a drink at the moment I wake up around 5am too, really hot, my mind searching for what I did or said the night before and not even daring to check my mac/phone to see whether I did anything embarrassing!!! My mind will also then wander to what I might have done to my body, health, not going to drink so much again etc etc, until the next time we need a blow out. Maybe we are going wrong and should just try having two glasses a night so we don't feel the need to go mad when we have been on the wagon for a few days. Next time, let's forget about beating ourselves up and have a little chuckle that we are both lying there in different parts of the country worrying about the same thing :)

Right, have filed an article so am off to the shops to stock up on healthy food for the week. Walking fast there and back and heading to the gym at least four times. Count them for me please everyone!

Oh forgot to comment on your pillows Really as well, really, I don't have any suitable comments. You're talking to the domestic antichrist here, although later on I do plan to have a tidy up. You could recreate the Sistine Chapel in dust on my floor right now.

Hi sorry only just managed to get on here!

Diomands Thankyou for the welcome! I started bleeding red blood the weekend 2nd of april! I was meant to got to the EPU on Thurday the 7th for medical management but the night before i miscarried! it was nothing they had prepared me for and i ended up in A&E due to excessive blood loss. They transferred me to the EPU the following morning where they did a scan. All had gone apart from 2cm of leftover products of conception. I have just today stopped bleeding but am a little concerned as i believe more than what they said was left has come out! I have a re-scan on the 28th to check all has gone!
Freelance Thankyou! i realli feel like a big part of me is missing since everything happened! I did have a chat with partner last night! He does want to try but is scared it will take over. We have agreed to just carry on as normal and if it happens it happens! I have been watching over the last days and wondering wether it was too late to join in! However i feel like i may be able to help others in my situation.
Really Have noticed how friendly it is! its great! As said i did miscarry naturally but if this ever happens to me again i certainly would not do it again! Did everyone else miscarry naturally and how long did the bleeding go on for?
Thanks again everyone and sorry for all of your experiences

Hi PJN. That must have been such a shock for you to mc naturally when waiting for medical management. It does seem to take such a long time, I too had 2cm left one one scan and then 1.5cm left the next scan. Am hoping it's has gone now but will go back for another scan after af eventually comes just to check.

I think it is a good idea to carry on as normal. As this is your first (am I right in thinking?) it hopefully is just a one off and I am sure you will have no problems in the future. Just make sure you are emotionally and physically up for it. I too don't want to it to take over. But it kinda has... But not the ttc yet as we haven't go that far.

Mine was natural but I know we are around 50/50 on here, actually maybe with more ERPCs than natural. Either way both ways seems to be taking quite a while for all of us. Mine has been ongoing for over 4 weeks now, still a bit of spotting today and no af. Fingers crossed it will all settle down soon though. The emotional fall out is quite remarkable actually - there are plenty of ups and downs. Downs come when you least expect them. So do hang around like the girls have said xx

freelance yes was a shock because there wasnt realli any heavy bledding beforehand so i wasnt expecting it. There was pain but i was more concerned about the blood loss. Have u felt like you passed anything since the first scan? I'll keep my fingers crossed for you

I am trying to be normal. Going back to work tomorrow after 2 weeks off which i am really worrying about today. Docs said they would sign me off for a while longer but i worry that if i dont go back soon i won't go at all. It doesn't really help that i am very unhappy in my job. Have you gone back to work? This was my first so i am just hoping that i was unlucky. It is worse as it seems all my friends are pregnant.

Would you go through this naturally again? i know i have read a dew forums, soom people had really easy natural miscarriage whereas mine seems to be somewhat of a horror story. The last few weeks i have tried to spaek to partner a lot more as i think my feelings have pushed him out a little! has it had much effect on your relationship? xx

Hi hon, yes since the first post-mc scan when they said there was a bit left I have definitely been bleeding, mostly brown blood, so am hoping that's a good sign. As for if I would go down the natural route again? No, I don't think I would. But I had already got the most painful bit out of the way with two days of labour contractions immediately before what would have been my 12 week scan so for me the most painful bit was before the mc was confirmed and I was sent home to expel the sac. I wouldn't go through it naturally again as it is just taking such a long time, however as some of the ladies on here will testify all ways seem to take quite a long time.

I haven't had to worry about going back to work as I work for myself at home, but I have definitely been very distracted and not getting nearly as much work done as I should do. And I have been very slack about getting new work so this will no doubt affect my financially quite a lot. If I were you I would go back and see how you get on. You're going to be distracted and not feel as bright as normal but at least you will be able to start to get your life back to normal. On a separate note you could start looking forward by looking to make the job better or finding a new one? You never know that this might have some positive outcomes in the way you work out the job was making you unhappy anyway and you might be able to address this.

In terms of my relationship, yes it has really been affected. We are very strong after over 11 years together but we have definitely both been very upset, distracted, not getting on with our work and having a lot of tension that can result in regular arguments. We have also both been going out drinking a lot to try cheer ourselves up but this can sometimes mean we get drunk and upset at the end of the evening!

Hope that helps!

Hello again all - missed so much I cant even start to go back through it all - we have been in Devon for the last week with no access to internet - had a lovely time, isnt this weather just amazing, enough to lift the spirits.

The good news from this end is AF has returned - quite quickly really, 3 weeks after MC - hoping that is the end of that chapter and time to move on.
Welcome to the newcomers and sorry for your losses - things do get easier over time xx

Evening all, it feels like summer here ? hope you?re experiencing a little taste of it too.

Magic I keep taking a sneaky peak at the conception threads but I?m not brave enough to dip my toe in yet. Part of me is just taking the attitude of not really ?trying? but not trying not to ? I think it?s my way of avoiding to much disappointment each month. However I should be ovulating in about 10-14 days so how do you not consciously ?try? ? I know I?ll want to give a sneaky go and see.

Whilst we?re on the topic of conception (not wanting to exclude those that are wttc) does any one feed their OH?s conception vitamins? Had no idea they even existed until they caught my eye in the chemist the other day. Don?t think my OH would go for it as we are not consciously ?trying? but I just wondered if men generally take them?

pnjeff sorry you find yourself on this thread due to your situation. It helps to share it with others that understand. My partner doesn?t have a huge urge for a baby and sometimes gets cold feet ? I think part of him is worried this will happen again, but I know if it did ever work out he would be chuffed to bits. Sometimes men don?t feel things until they happen. When my OH has a wobble I tell him he has to sort out contraception then ? and of course that never happens. Hope work goes ok tomorrow, the first day back is the hardest but it does get easier.

Diamonds I hope your pains are getting better?

Really I?m with you on the washing of feather pillows. I washed mine a couple of weeks back and hung them on the line to dry on a nice sunny day ? and dry they did. However I put them back on the bed and all we could smell that night was ?bum?, literally, so they had to go straight in the dustbin. Never again.

Hello Freelance hope your healthy day has continued. I always start off well on a Monday but I can feel this week slipping already with the bank hol weekend looming. How can you make it through a bank hol without booze I ask myself - the answer is you can't!

Mopey sounds like you?ve had a much needed break. I agree the weather helps to lift the spirits a little. It also makes me want to drink wine, arrgghh! Good news about your AF, 3 weeks is amazing. We were having a little race on here to see who got 1st, 2nd, 3rd place for getting their AF however I think you get an award for the quickest return.

Hi everyone, can I join you? I'm so sorry to hear about your losses.

I have been bleeding since Saturday - am 8 weeks today. It's now brown but hasn't stopped. Have a scan tomorrow at the EPU, and although my close friends are being very supportive and telling me to keep positive, I just 'know' that things aren't right.

I know it sounds awful, but I just want tomorrow to be over so we know, although I realise it will be a couple of weeks, if not more before everything settles down.

The bit I'm finding really hard is that we had told my parents, who are having a really hard time at the moment for various reasons, and they were so excited (would be my first and their first grandchild). I can be brave most of them time, but when I think about how much they were looking forward to this Christmas it breaks me. Oh, and out of the 3 girls I work with, one had a baby last weekend and the other is 9 weeks, so that's not gonna be easy. Sorry to be depressing. For various reasons me and dh won't be TTC straightaway, and so it will just be tough I think. I'm not a person who likes being down, but am struggling with this!

Sorry for long post, and for everything you have all been through xx

Hello all, a quick yoohoo from the beautiful countryside of SW France [smug emoticon].

Welcome, pjn, I'm so sorry. It's painful, isn't it? I don't just mean physically. I hope you're okay.

Lovely news about Harassed, I'm really chuffed for her. FX....

So sorry, MrsGasMan. It's okay to struggle. You'll bounce back in time. But it's all right to feel crappy about things for a while, it's so sad and disappointing to lose a pregnancy.

Hi to pnjeff and mrsgasman - sorry you're here but its nice to have you.
pnjeff - I too had a natural miscarriage and got off a lot lighter than you by the sounds of it, but I wasn't as far on. Don't go back to work until you're absolutely sure you're ready, it's hard, and your head will be all over the place for a while. Saying that, it can also be a good distraction.
Thinking of you Mrsgasman - your experience sounds very similar to my most recent loss. I

Glad you had a nice weekend freelance - sounds fab. I've been thinking a lot about when we will tell people when I get pregnant again. We only told close family with the most recent, but told them straight away, my thinking that we would need their support if it happened again.
However, next time we won't be telling anyone until at least 12 weeks - I found it very hard telling everyone what had happened last time, and think it would be easier in a way to deal with it all by ourselves if it did happen again.
But then again, I may change my mind again!
So pleased for harassed.

Glad your AF has arrived mopey, it is a great step forward.

cream - we were originally going to be in the 'not trying, not preventing' camp, but I'm not convinced it can exist. You either are - or you're not (not you personally , in general) - for me anyway, I found myself trying to casually work out Ovulation dates and casually seducing DH and realised what I was doing was actually trying to get pregnant.

Hello MrsGasMan what a great name. Sorry you are finding yourself here. I think 'brown' is a good sign as it means old blood, particularly if it hasn't turned red. Am sure you must have researched this but plenty of people seemed to have have bleeding and been fine. I think the time to start not being so positively is when you have bleeding and cramping at the same time. I know so many people have different symptoms, but like I said, plenty of people seem to bleed and still be ok. So don't necessarily think the worst just yet. Either way you are welcome here so please feel free to join in and write as much as you like! That was not a long post, look at some of mine! Let us know how the scan goes tomorrow.

Yes it is far-reaching and if it is a mc it is sad for everyone concerned - grandparents-to-be, you and DH and also your friends who care for you. I have no children either and my parents are not grandparents so I can empathise.

Bonjour IC, or should I say bonsoir, je suis tres jaloux (jalouse...?). Hope you have loaded up on unpasteurized stinky cheese for all of us.

Hello Mopey, glad you had a nice break and congratulations on your af (if one can say such a thing!). It is a good step in the right direction, you can join the other winners on the Period Podium splashing champagne into a Golden Mooncup (yep, you missed all that...).

Cream and Really can you please come round and wash my feather pillows. Actually, not if they are going to stink of bum. You will be proud of me however, today I have cleaned the bathroom, kitchen and hoovered the whole flat as well as stocked up on healthy food at Sainsbury's.

Cream, Diamonds has already been brave and joined us in the Conception lounge. There's a thread called the ttc post mc common room or similar and there are plenty of people on there like me who are still wttc. SOme great info on the Recurrent thread too from people having treatment (although not sure if any of you are Recurrent except maybe me).

So far no alcohol or chocolate. But yes the weekend is coming sooner this week (am going to Brighton - where I go most weekends am not travelling) as early a Thursday this week so I best be squeaky clean today, Tues and Weds as I know there will be friends to see, pubs to visit, meals to be had and drunken 5am wake ups with my virtual drinking buddy Really to think about :)