How are you feeling after MC?

[freelancegirl]

Hello everyone,

I though I would start a new thread for all of us who have been through a mc recently or not so recently and want to carry on swapping stories, bitching about crap feelings, celebrating any good feelings etc etc.

I will kick off, but I hope some of you will join me.

Bleeding has more or less stopped so am still worried about that 'last 2cm of product' the scan revealed still needed to emerge. Docs have given me antibiotics to ward off infection and am due back for another scan around 12th April.

Today I woke up feeling like shit! Emotionally I am still getting better but I feel so tired at times. I woke up feeling exhausted today, but there are other times during the day when I will be walking around fine and then suddenly feel totally knackered. No idea why. Hormones shifting? It's almost the same tiredness as had when pg. Sometimes I feel a bit sick too and am having the odd dizzy spell. I don't think there's any infection but like I said am already on antibiotics.

I am also really annoyed about my weight. I haven't weighed myself since the mc as don't have any scales at home but I go away at weekend so I can weigh myself tomorrow. But I know I had put on about 5lbs in the first trimester and my small jeans are still not fitting me. I was a bit of a gym bunny before getting pg (which coincided with xmas so I was eating more/exercising less anyway and had put on 3lbs, which I wasn't then bothered about as I knew I could shift it after xmas - not expecting to be a) pg and b) have an mc). Now I feel bloated and miserable about my weight because am guessing am around 8lbs heavier than my best. I realise there are other priorities but now there's no baby I would like to have my size and my energy back!

As regards moving forward and possibly ttc again, I have bought two cheap pg tests and when I am brave enough am going to see if I get a BFN. I feel that would be a step in the right direction to start with.

Hope all are well and feeling positive. Feel free to join in xxx

BLL: I'm not even remotely superstitious... But my explanation for your ring thing is this: it may have been true at that point in time(if you believe in such things), but do the same trick and it is likely to throw up a different result. A little bit like palmistry. The lines of your hands change over time. As a non believer, I say they reflect where you are in your life now, where you're headed, etc. Whereas people who believe in them tend to think that they predict the future. In summary, I'd say- get the ring thing done again. Might lay old ghosts to bed, and give you some hope for the future. But really, it is just hocus pocus, isn't it? Might just be cynical old me though!
Immaculada, lovely to hear you're on the mend, honey. It's good as your cold is only contagious at it's height. Once you've turned a corner, you're a smaller risk to others catching it.
Dh gone to get the stuff for the barbie, while I'm lounging round the house, not feeling like doing any housework. It can wait. Still feel a bit fragile. Weird as don't have much bleeding.
Hope you all Enjoy the rest of the day x

LIG, thanks for your kind thoughts. Sorry, am on phone, difficult to read back. Apologies for being in my own bubble, but please remind me when you started to miscarry, etc. So sorry for your loss. How many weeks were you? Have you been scanned yet?

And I know the baby radar oh so well! I've had it for the past few years. Just really cruel that when we thought it was our turn, it turned out to be a terrible terrible joke. But hey ho. Onwards and upwards. Hope we all have better luck next time x

Hello Diamonds,

Not miscarried yet but had a scan (after lots of bleeding) on Tuesday saying it was 6 weeks (with no heartbeat) when I know that I am at least 9. Got another scan on Wednesday just to confirm it all and then hopefully we can move onto the ERPC and start trying to move forward. x

IC Oooh, chucking out the scales! What a crazy thought! What I do is stand on them 3 times and take the lightest weight that comes up. Works like a dream. I usually also take off 2lbs for clothes (even in just my knickers) and 2lbs for 'water'. Plus I am short sighted so it's hard to read an accurate weight so sometimes I just kind of look and then choose a nicer number and sometimes I like to set them just before zero and then climb on. All in all I find the scales reassuringly kind. I also buy really, really cheap ones from Argos - they are much kinder and don't spout the kind of lies that I see when I weigh myself on my friend's electronic scales.

Do you girls do that too? If I'm in someone's house (invited clearly, I rarely burgle) and see a pair of scales, I have to jump on. Not kitchen scales though, that would be rude and even I know I weigh more than 500g.

BLL Oooh, I hate things like that, they totally freak you out. DS and I made a perfect cake and it fell off the kitchen counter onto the floor just before I got the call from the gyne with the bad news. If it had happened and I hadn't had the call I would have forgotten it by now. Instead I now think of it as THE CAKE - Harbinger of ill-fortune and omen of doom. We still ate the bits at the top though. Hey ho.

Diamonds Glad you are getting some rest and are being looked after by DH. Sounds like it'll be the perfect day for recuperation.

LIG Good to hear from you and it's nice that you seem in a positive place, the bike ride sounds lovely

Free I hope you have a lovely time in Brighton, it sounds like it'll be a lovely day. I love the lanes. Have at least 2 beers for me!

Oh Lig Sorry lovely, xposts. I know you still have a way to go before you have it confirmed - I meant the bike ride sounded really positive, I know you are in a hard place right now xx

But my clothes are tight too :) it's just around the tummy, really odd. I guess might get better when I finally join the af grads on the Period Podium... Hello Bll if you still up. I know too what you mean about songs. Everything makes me pensive and teary. I just shed a little tear when stretching on the gym mat earlier. Forget what song but was also watching a hen do have a group dance thing in the dance studio through the glass and, well, they just looked so happy and were having so much fun. I guess I was a bit jealous. Growing up can be so hard sometimes. I mean I love some if the things we do but it made me miss those carefree clubbing days. Gosh I could really do with a good blow out. As for the superstition Bll I get that too. A tarot woman once told me various things that seemed quite accurate but she also told be I would have two or three kids and that the first one would be a boy who would be really successful. I worry that because I have now been pregnant three times that might have been what she saw! But I guess that wouldn't have been very successful for the boy... Deep down we all know that sort if stuff is a load if twaddle though so so we should really ignore it!

Agh! I missed loads of juicy posts before posting the last thing! will have to check them out and respond later

Ooh LIG honey, i am so so sorry. It's a horrible thing to go through. Remember, nothing is off limits here. Come here for a rant, a rave or support. We've all been through similar experiences. We'll do our best to listen, advise and hand hold. The girls here have been sooo good with me, I don't know where I'd have been without them. x
Reallyuseful: you really made me laugh so much, it literally hurts!
Freelance: the miscarriage is still continuing, hence the discharge. The uterus is bound to be a bit swollen(tummy area). As soon this episode is behind you I'm convinced you'll ping back to your original pre preg form: you're working harder than anyone I know- re fitness. I'm glad you're making the most of a beautiful day.
Where's magic?

Right, I'm off out for the night. Diamonds Oh dear! As if you didn't feel tender enough. Who am I drinking for tonight? 1 for you, Diamonds I hope you had a lovely bbq and are sitting burping delicately in your chair. Any other requests from anyone? Happy to drink anything, don't hold back. I have decided to do a detox (crash diet) as of monday. My clothes aren't too tight but aren't sitting right and I'm going podgy ribs. I also have very staticky hair tonight so think I look downright odd.

I might send a drunky hello later. Big waves to everyone, I hope everyone is having fun! Freelance Can you have a big dance tonight and let your hair down?

Reallyuseful: I'm reallystuffed now! Dh had a go at bbqing everything: sausages, lamb tikka, kebabs ( chicken, veg and fruit)! We had profiteroles for dessert. He drank a WHOLE bottle of wine and downed a couple of beers! I stuck to 7UP and coke. All in all it was a beautiful day. Popped into an out of hours gp practice, as pain became unbearable at one point: the dr prescribed codeine as paracetamol and Nurofen weren't even touching it. Feel much better now.
Reallyuseful: what's your poison of preference? Have a rum and coke for me!
Cmon ladies: let your hair down, the night is young!

Okay, so night out. I am home early because the couple we went out with declared their pregnancy - on my due date! Ow, ow, ow! I am so happy for them and it is lovely, they tried and tried for a long time. Anyway, all lovely but drank like a monkey and went outside and smoked like a monkey and DH kept squeezing my hand and is bringing back my mains as a doggy bag (I lied and said the DC was crying). Oh why? Why my fecking due date? Arrghhh. Am so bloody sad and jealous and miserable and hungry - mental note: Leave table once you have eaten)

AAAGGHH! Was three quarters through a post and DS touched the computer and it has disappeared. No chance to re-write it now, have to get them off to bed.

Will try again later but in case I don't get back on DH's work computer, the gist of my message was a hug for Really, that is ow ow ow indeed, and a hi to all.

Pesky kids getting in the way of MN'ing, it's just not on is it!!

Oh Really that must have been painful. I know when I went round to collect friends on Friday and they invited me in, I was very reluctant in case I saw their baby - luckily he was already in bed. Not sure how long I can avoid other people with babies or pregnant but I am going to try for a bit.

Trying to psych myself to go into work tomorrow. Luckily got some consultants in to give some training so hopefully that will take my mind of it all. Work just doesn't seem important at the moment but thinking I should go in as I will need time off for the ERPC. How long did you all take off work? Also, how long do you think it will be till I can get an ERPC if I have another scan on Wednesday? (Got plans for easter and the may bank holiday but I don't know when I will be needed in hospital. Also, a bit reluctant to stay away at the moment in case I do miscarry naturally.)

Stayed in on my own last night for the first time - ended up polishing off a bottle of wine and box of chocolates, blubbering away to myself on the sofa and then falling asleep.

Trying to spend a bit of time looking at places to move to - got two types of places on my list of places to view. Saw a lovely house with 3 beds and a small garden (perfect for a family) and then on the other hand there are some luxury overpriced 2 bed flats set in amazing grounds with a gym and swimming pool in the grounds (not so suitable for a family).

Diamonds hope the drugs are helping. Your BBQ has made me think about a BBQ tonight - although not sure whether I will be able to get anything at this time on a sunny sunday!

Hope you all had good Saturday nights! x

Oh really what a difficult night for you. A close friend of mine announced her pg the same week I had my erpc so I know how you. It's so hard cause you don't want to spoil their good news but your emotions just get the better of you. I find i'm not too bad with friends who we're pg before my mc it's those who are pg since. I can't bear to hear about the tiredness, sickness, first midwife appoint etc as that was me only a few weeks ago. So so hard.

Hi LIG I had my mmc confirmed on a tues, had the erpc done the following Mon (they said It's usually sooner than that but it was a busy week for them) I then returned to work the following Mon, a week after the erpc. Everyone's different though & they did say I could go back to work 24hrs after the op - but i definitely needed the week both physically & emotionally.

diamonds hope your tummy is feeling better today. Mine did feel tender for a few days though.

I went out for a few drinks & food with DP last night & found myself getting all teary, everytime I think I'm over the teary stage it catches me unawares!

Enjoy the sunshine - for those that have some x

Oh Really that must have hurt like hell. It really does kick you in the teeth when something like that happens.
My DB and SIL are expecting twins - they announced it just before I found out I was pregnant in January. I am so pleased and excited for them, and when we found out I was pregnant too, we had lots of chats about how close our babies would be in age, what we would do on maternity leave together etc.
But then we lost that one too . Went out for a drink with them and my other brother a few weeks ago and it was very hard - much worse than I expected. My brother kept patting SIL's bump and everytime he did it was like a physical pain - but then I felt like a bitch for feeling like that.
Saw them again last weekend and it was much easier - it does get better.

Diamonds glad you had a lovely barbecue. Sounds like DH is looking after you well. Hope the pain is less today.

BLL - I don't know that song, am going to have to look it up I think.

Freelance - definitely step away from the scales.

Hope everyone else is enjoying the sunshine x

Hi! Reallyuseful: so sorry that you found yourself in that situation. I'm avoiding a really good pair of friends at the mo as one has a two month old baby, and the other is two months pregnant. Will have to deal with them sooner or later. Rather later than sooner though!
BLL: enjoy the kids! Post when they're too busy to fidget with you, or when they're in bed. We are all always here for you!
LIG: glad that work is keeping your mind off things. Our hospital is flexible to fit you in at your convenience. So, you can fit the ERPC around your plans, as far as I understand. They sign you off sick for a couple of days as a general rule over here. Might be different where you are... Where are you?
Creamcracker: tummy is sore, but I've got a heavy sore feeling deep in my lower back bottom ( I assume that's where the uterus is?). Also feel very sick and tired. Can't believe I feel so ill. Glad you had some drinks, sorry that it catches up with you unawares, I think we can all relate to that.
Iloveblue: that sound very hard to deal with. Please get some retail therapy, or pamper yourself, anything. You need to be prepared for when the twins do arrive. So, the sooner you can get the emotional stuff out of the way the better. That sounds harsh, but you know what I mean. I hope your db and sil can be a bit more sympathetic although it is hard whichever way you look at it. I feel for you.
Big hello to freelance and all the other girls. Hope you're making the most of the fantastic weather. x

Diamonds I also had a pain in my back bottom, I actually went to the doctors about it in the end and he looked at me as if I was mad. It was like a heavy dragging pressure, especially when I sat down (if that makes sense), I then got shooting pains down my back bottom (sorry if this is tmi). My doc examined me though and said it was all normal - but what's normal I ask. Hope you get back to 'normal' soon.

Diamonds Am sorry to hear you are still feeling sore and ill. You poor thing. Are you able to spend tomorrow resting? I got the back bottom pains too and ended up taking charcoal tablets - I put it down to trapped wind (tmi, apologies) and it seemed to ease it. I also took a few rennies, my digestion seemed all over the place.

Bil Ahh, lovely to hear from you, even if you didn't get to write everything you wanted too. I hope all is well over there.

LIG I understand your concerns but if it helped, I miscarried on holiday and if it did happen when you are away, I think it should be manageable. Just make sure you pack a load of sanitary towels and ensure you can be near the bathroom if you need to be (hmm, not making it sound like the most relaxing of breaks!).

Cream Sorry to hear the sadness got the better of you. I am finding it worse now, in that I don't know when and where I'm going to get that pang, or those tears. Am feeling for you.

Blue I am so sorry you have to have such mixed emotions when you see your BB and SiL. I find it hard because of course, you are happy for them but it just sends me into a panic because I should be feeling the same joy for myself too.

And thank you everyone for the hand holding. I am pleased that I managed to make a plausible excuse and leave last night. I just felt so panicky and inadequate, it felt like such a kick in the teeth. And the same due date! What are the chances? Anyway, I am trying to be brave. There's not much chance that I will get another shock like that so am hoping that my feelings right now are as bad as it gets. I do feel like its set me back a week or two in feeling better about things and moving forward. I now have 5 pregnant friends and they are all thrilled to tell me and tell me all the exciting developments and send me scans etc because they know I love babies and they know I'll be just as excited as them. Except right now I'm not. I don't want to hear any of it. Hoping this will pass.

Did chuckle today at Freelances post a few nights ago. Nunsnet! . Still chortling. Where is she anyway?

You've just described beautifully what I am feeling at the mo creamcracker! No such thing as too much info here- it's reassuring in a weird way. Makes it feel "normal": it's the early sign of labour, I've been told- so obviously cervix, uterus related. Just hope it means things are gonna get better. But my heightened sense of smell, heartburn and nausea are on the increase. We are definitely not pregnant- he's not been anywhere near me for the last two months, bless him. It's weird as had no preg symptoms while pregnant! Just goes to show hormones have gone mental and into overdrive! Sorry for the me me me post. x

Reallyuseful: will try the charcoal tabs. Thanks for the tip. Working from home this week, so should be ok. Hope I get some work done. Tend to procrastinate when left to my own devices... Not good! Must be hard to have five pregnant friends around you, just hope some of their baby vibes rub off on to you- and you're in their club again soon. Felt very dizzy and faint again today. Continued since the moment I got up. Out of hours gp paid me a visit and prescribed antibiotics, as I had a raised temp too apparently. So, chance that infection had set in- just hope these antibiotics sort it out now. Why me? Grrrrhhhh....

Hi there all, have been lurking for a while trying to catch up with all the posts!

We started school hols the this last week so have had my hands full with DD. By the time I get her off to bed at 8ish I just want to slump with a bottle of wine and get told off by DP if I closet myself with the PC! Have been doing my best to keep up on my phone though. Its so hard to remember who said what!

Diamonds Im so sorry it has dragged on like it has for you, but glad the ERPC went as well as could be. It is amazing how quickly you start feeling your old self again- physically that is. Freelance you sound as fit as a fiddle! I think any tummy bloating in my case is lost under the matronly tyre I already have; I knew there was a reason for its existence!

Really its so hard to be 'big' about these things isnt it? One of my best friends announced she was preg at the same time as me. We were looking forward to being 'maternity buddies'. Was supposed to meet her next week but shes had to re-arrange for a midwives appt. Its hard not to make comparisons about where I would be right now too. I was devastated on Mothers day as she sent me a (well-meaning) text saying she hoped I was 'being spoilt and having a drink to Mums who are lost but sadly missed'. Its a sore day anyway as I lost my Mum a couple of years ago but it must have caught my post mc hormones too because I just couldnt stop crying for the rest of the day.

Apart from that I'm back to (TMI) EWCM spotting again, what joy!! Think will have a flick over to 'Conception' and see whats afoot...

xxx

Hi Magic! Nice to see you back old girl! Was quite worried about you! Don't blame you for making the most of your dc during the day and enjoying your Dh and a glass of wine in the evenings, it sounds very therapeutic. Good to know your back in the swing of things x

Diamonds - I had the same pains too. I asked the nurse at my EPU about it and she said it is very normal to have bowel/digestion problems after a loss - its the hormones again! Sorry for TMI but it was painful when I had bowel movements for a few days after - similar (but nowhere near as bad) to how it felt after I'd given birth to my boys. These hormones have a lot to answer for!

LIG - good luck for work tomorrow.

Diamonds Oh I'm sorry you need the antibiotics but good you got them now - hopefully the symptoms will start to subside really quickly and you feel an improvement tomorrow. And even though you will be procrastinating and mning, at least you can wear your pjs for a week!

Magic Hello! We were wondering where you were! I hope you are enjoying the holidays, even if you are knackered by DD's bedtime each night. I agree, it is very hard to be big about these things. And those who know do try to be kind but everything feels double edged. I am so sorry Mothers Day was so tough for you, what a lot of grief and loss to deal with. Have you had an AF Magic or are you going for it anyway? Good for you, let us know if there's anything exciting going on over in 'conception'!