How are you feeling after MC?

[freelancegirl]

Hello everyone,

I though I would start a new thread for all of us who have been through a mc recently or not so recently and want to carry on swapping stories, bitching about crap feelings, celebrating any good feelings etc etc.

I will kick off, but I hope some of you will join me.

Bleeding has more or less stopped so am still worried about that 'last 2cm of product' the scan revealed still needed to emerge. Docs have given me antibiotics to ward off infection and am due back for another scan around 12th April.

Today I woke up feeling like shit! Emotionally I am still getting better but I feel so tired at times. I woke up feeling exhausted today, but there are other times during the day when I will be walking around fine and then suddenly feel totally knackered. No idea why. Hormones shifting? It's almost the same tiredness as had when pg. Sometimes I feel a bit sick too and am having the odd dizzy spell. I don't think there's any infection but like I said am already on antibiotics.

I am also really annoyed about my weight. I haven't weighed myself since the mc as don't have any scales at home but I go away at weekend so I can weigh myself tomorrow. But I know I had put on about 5lbs in the first trimester and my small jeans are still not fitting me. I was a bit of a gym bunny before getting pg (which coincided with xmas so I was eating more/exercising less anyway and had put on 3lbs, which I wasn't then bothered about as I knew I could shift it after xmas - not expecting to be a) pg and b) have an mc). Now I feel bloated and miserable about my weight because am guessing am around 8lbs heavier than my best. I realise there are other priorities but now there's no baby I would like to have my size and my energy back!

As regards moving forward and possibly ttc again, I have bought two cheap pg tests and when I am brave enough am going to see if I get a BFN. I feel that would be a step in the right direction to start with.

Hope all are well and feeling positive. Feel free to join in xxx

Good luck Diamonds, I'm sure it'll go absolutely fine. I know it's tough for someone who's a bit phobic of hospitals to believe that, but honestly, it's a very straightforward and oft-performed procedure.
I think the worse part for me was how ravenous and thirsty I felt because of nil-by-mouth for the GA. I've never been so grateful for a cup of milky coffee and some biscuits in my life!!

Listen, if I get a podium place in the AF race, can my trophy be in the shape of a Mooncup? Much more environmentally friendly, but also - more importantly - it would hold more champers..

Oh celebratory champagne out of our tampon trophies - amazing!

Freelance Have a lovely time tonight. Sorry you had a to-do and glad you made up again. Did you row about anything in particular or was it just a ratty one? Dial again later!

I have a small confession. I haven't been back to have a scan or a check up since my m/c. I know that it was complete as I saw everything and I have tested negative 4 times since. I was treated privately as I was seeing the gyne for other things, my hormones have been a bit weird since I stopped breastfeeding in November and this was covered too. Anyway, don't want to go back. So there. No signs of infection and I figure if there's anything left (i very much doubt it) it will come out with AF and if nothing happens for more than a month I will go back.

I haven't had another scan since the ERPC either, Really. I think that's a Spain thing, though.

IC Am pleased to hear it, for all my bravado I do worry!

diamonds I'm sure your recovery will be just as good. I really thought my AF would take forever. When I first came off the pill I didn't hav an AF for ages - so this was a bit of a surprise. As for ttc, I don't think I will 'actively' try this cycle but at the same time I won't do anything to prevent it.

really I also never had a follow up scan & often wondered if there was anything left, but our bodies are good at dealing with these things naturally so I'm sure all is fine.

Hi escapeartist - so sorry you are going through this too.
I can really relate to your feeling of knowing something was wrong ? I just ?knew? with both of my losses. Particularly my loss at 7/8 weeks ? had no sickness at all, which is just not normal for me. Will go and check out your blog shortly.

Hi Laura - it must be so awful being in limbo. I?ve luckily never been in that situation but it must be extremely frustrating.

I agree IC - I didn?t think of my most recent loss as a baby, it was also a lost embryo to me (sorry if that offends anyone). However, it was a very different story with my first loss at 20 weeks. Although, I hadn?t connected emotionally as much as I would normally do, I kept myself distanced as I just had a feeling that something was wrong, I still feel like I lost a baby and a son. I can?t help myself imagine the little boy he could have been ? and that?s what breaks my heart .

BLL - I also love the sound of olive oil crackers. Were they easy to make?

Freelance I?m chuckling at the thought of ?shaking out an AF?.
For what it?s worth, I got my AF 33 days after a natural miscarriage at 7-8 weeks. My usual cycle is 30 days so not too bad really. But my uterus was completely empty when I went for a scan 3 days after I started miscarrying.

I also have a moody DH today by the way.

Will be thinking of you tomorrow Diamonds

Really I havn?t had a follow-up scan either ? didn?t know we were meant to? I did go back into EPU to have blood taken and hormones tested to rule out ectopic.
I suppose as my uterus was empty I didn?t need to?
I did have a very heavy AF when it came though ? so I think you?re right in saying that any lefttovers will come out naturally.

I had my appointment with Occupational Health today. It was okay. The lady I saw had also lost a baby at 20 weeks which I thought was quite bizarre!! She briefly mentioned it and I was desperate to ask her for more information but didn?t feel it was right somehow.
Anyway, the good news is she has given me some information about a counselling service I can use. She said I will get an appointment very quickly (within a week) rather than be put on a waiting list by my GP.
It is something I have been thinking of organizing and I will definitely be making use of it. It is free and I can have up to 4 sessions.

Is anyone else watching 'Misbehaving Mums-to-be' ? About expectant mums smoking. Its making me cross. One lady just said 'Well, I enjoy it, why should I give it up?' Sorry for being judgemental but .......

ILB Oh, your post made me cry. I am so sorry you lost your baby and your son. It must be so hard when you are so far gone in pregnancy. I am thinking of you. I am a sucker for little boys and am sorry that you think of what he would have been.

ILB My friend has a photo of her mum, 8 months pregnant, fag in one hand whilst doing the conga! Different days entirely. My aunts all smoked 60 a day whilst pregnant and knocked out numerous kids, all lawyers and bankers and (annoyingly) all taller than me! Actually, wanted to ask IC what the opinion in Spain was about eating liver whilst pregnant. Had DS whilst living in the caribbean and wasn't told to avoid a single thing (apart from smoking and too much rum). Ate liver loads. Got pregnant with daughter here and was presented with the longest list in the world of things not to eat - ignored most of them . Did what I did the first time around.

My MIL also smoked throughout all her pregnancies and smoked while breastfeeding!! It just wasn't seen as a health risk in general then.
The documentary said that smokers are 4 times as likely to have a premature baby, which suprised me.
But I totally agree about the liver, and most of the other things that we are told to avoid. I read somewhere else here that French women are also not told to avoid anything.
I know the reason we are told here to avoid soft cheese is to avoid the risk of lysteria - but the risk of catching lysteria is so low anyway.

Ladies and nuns, preeee-senting .... to the winner creamcracker!!

Sorry for not duly acknowledging your rightfully won first place. Fair and square.

Olive oil crackers extremely easy to make, ILB, if I get my computer fixed I can type in the recipe.

Goodlyck on Friday diamonds, will be thinking of you.

Another one here (me) who has not had any follow up scans I am just hoping my body has done the proper job of completing the MC. That sounds wrong but you know what I mean.

Good evening ladies! 1/ ½ small glasses of wine and one large glass of wine. Not too bad? Made me feel great though! Gosh it really lifted a heavy feling in my heart. Why don?t I start drinking earlier in the day?? Oh yes, because it?s bad for you. But if blue's MIL can do it all the way through pregnancy why can?t I do it all the way through none pregnancy? ahh you gotta love the 60 and 70s.

Yes Blue your post my me a bit teary too. I am sure it is not like this for everyone but for me it seems totally different to lose a baby at 20 weeks than before the 12 week mark like I did. At 20 weeks it is a proper baby. I know other people will see any baby as a proper baby but it is so much worse imo to lose it at that later stage. You poor thing.

Gosh I can?t believe your occupational health woman! That?s such a coincidence! I am glad you went to see them.

Cream I too had irregular periods when I came off the pill. Actually I had loads of weird symptoms ? mood swings, greasy hair, spots.. it took ages to go back to normal.

I don?t think you ladies without post-mc-scans have to worry. Generally I think if it is gone it is gone and you would know otherwise. Mind you, they said my blood clot would have an affect on my getting pg again which is a bit odd. Hope it goes soon. No sign of af just yet!

Really - I have actually forgotten what we rowed about now but it seems that for all my optimism as soon as something happens to make me feel miserable it REALLY sets me off. DH does have a tendency to be moody (I can relate Blue!) and is particularly bad when stressed at work. Don?t get me wrong. Generally we have a lot of fun and get on well but he is quicker to anger than me and I can find that frustrating. I retorted something awful to him actually, which seems to have gone unchallenged. I retorted that I couldn?t imagine spending the rest of my life with such a moody git! A bit harsh maybe. But I hate moodiness all the same. And right now I need to stay positve as when I get low I get low for a while. Gosh ? the wine cured it though

BLL your drum roll was suitably dramatic for the af winning team. I reckon IC is right though, a moon cup would be much more fitting in terms of champage capacity. Maybe we could blow up both tampon and moon cup to extra large size and have them sculputed in ice with a luge??

I just want to post a thank you to those who contribute to these pages. I lost my baby at 11 weeks recently and found these pages and those who post on them, to be of such comfort. It's a harrowing thing to go through and knowing that there is such great support and camraderie out there makes it just that little bit easier to deal with.

A special thank you to a poster called Freelancer (I think that was her name!) who was particularly supportive. IT's time like these that Mumsnet really comes into its own.

Good wishes and positive vibes for all of you out there who have gone through/are going through this.

Hello theressomethingaboutmarie sorry to hear of your lose. I agree that these pages are a great comfort. There comes a point when you feel you can't keep going over it with friends/family in RIL, yet it is a big event in your life that you don't just want to brush under the carpet. Freelancegirl certainly holds this thread together along with all the other lovely ladies. Do stay with us.

babylanguage you've made my morning - I've never woken up to a drum roll before (& never over the fact that I have my AF). I'm going to begin the 2nd drum roll now ready for the silver mooncup/tampon trophy 2nd place goes to.......

Theressomethingaboutmarie Welcome and so sorry for your loss. I agree, I would be lost without the ladies on this thread. Freelance is a hero.

If there was a trophy for hangovers I would win it this morning. .

Hello theressomethingaboutmarie how lovely to have you here with us. It always feels weird to say that because obviously we wouldn't want the reasons to have lead you here to have happened in the first place, but they have happened and there is nothing anyone can do to change that so it's great to be able to post thoughts and worries and fears and even the odd silly joke (usually involving nuns on this board...but bringing in the occasionally Golden Tampon Award). It is indeed times like these that mumsnet comes into its own. Do join in the conversation if you feel up to it.

I've spent most of the morning in bed reading Dr Beer's Is Your Body Baby Friendly and I would urge any of you who suspect this might be a recurrent problem to get it. It's really well written and informative. The only thing that is highlights which is a shame is that most conventional treatment doesn't include what they do. But luckily have have a few docs over here who do. One thing that made me giggle was the story of one of the women who brought back Dr Beer's counterpart's recommendations to her GP and had a tough time convincing him to treat her this way. I think she might have had more luck had the recommendations not come from a Dr Kwak :)

Morning Cream and Really you ladies certainly get up earlier than I do! I do usually roll out of bed around 8.30-9.00 however but it was reading the book that's kept me there until now. Best get on with some work...oh I said that yesterday, did a tiny bit writing, went to the dentist, the gym, the pub and out for food with DH and my neighbours.

I think the prize for the biggest hangover might go to you Really as I haven't really tested mine yet and probably won't until I kick it off again later :). I had one and a half small glasses of wine and one large glass of wine. And a v lovely pizza express pizza - carbs be damned! Got a nice weekend planned to and feel positive again this morning (up, down, up, down, up...) so hopefully I will stay that way.

PS I am definitely expelling brown stuff. Thinking it is hopefully that clot going. Will let you know if I am in the running for second place on the Golden Tampon podium. Cream and I can then spray each other with pink champagne from our Golden Tampons and share a drink together from the Golden Mooncup....

Morning all.

Changed my name to LIG after realising that someone else had done it - thought I was stuck with my name without creating a new account but wanted something a little less personal.

Read your posts last night on the way back from a night out in London and ended up snorting with laughter much to the disgust of the men in suits. The dog bone thing sounded crazy and shaking out an AF was nuts.

Went out with the MIL yesterday lunchtime and then saw a friend in the evening. I was really aprehensive about it all in case I ended up in a mess but although I did get tearful at times I didn't turn into a mess and really enjoyed myself. A little bit worried about the wine consumption but seeing as I plan to start trying again as soon as I can-hopefully my new drinking every night routine won't be too harmful. Is anyone else finding that they are drinking more than they did before they got pregnant?

I also felt ok to start thinking about the future - although I am upset about loosing the baby/embryo it so early on it doesn't feel like a real baby but a lump of cells at the moment. I am more upset about loosing my plans for a baby. We planned so many things and on Saturday managed to rent our place out (we can't sell) to then move somewhere more suitable for a family. Even with work I was planning in my head when I would be leaving for maternity leave and anything after this date, I almost ignored.

Did a pregnancy test earlier and it is only a faint pink now - made me feel happy that my body is final realising what was going on. Still not managed to run a miscarriage out of me - thinking about trying to jump up and down. I would so love to avoid an ERPC but it isn't looking likely...

Thanks for cheering me up with your banter!!

x x

Diamonds Thinking of you today and looking forward to your post this evening.

Have to go and do things like looking after children and cleaning the toilet. A big hello to everyone else! Waves!

And LIG Yup, my wine consumption is immense at the moment. Went through a bottle a night. Had 3 nights off but had a bottle last night too. I am well and truly drowning my sorrows xxx

Morning LIG glad you had a good night. I know exactly what you mean about not knowing whether you are going to be a teary mess when you go out and have a drink. I started out to the pub as a teary mess and thought the evening wasn't going to end well but actually I soon cheered up. DH and I had had a minor row and made up quickly but it doesn't take much at the moment to disrupt my naturally happy disposition and put me on a temporary low. It's a weird low, comes from the heart. I mean it literally feels like it comes from the heart rather than the head. The head can be telling you you have lots of good things going on and the heart can feel heavy. I can only describe is as a temporary depression. Thankfully it is temporary.

As for the drinking, I think many of us on here are knocking back a fair few vinos at the moment. Whether this is more than before I got pregnant is debatable. It has always been a big part of my social life. I would say that I usually drink Friday and Saturday nights and only occasionally on Sundays but there will always be one day in the week I go out with friends or DH and have a few drinks. So am probably drinking around the same. I feel the need for a drink more often though! Fortunately DH and I have never got into the habit of sharing a bottle a night at home (not having any DCs probably helps as it means we are still 'pub people' so if I stay in we tend to not drink as a rule. And then go out and binge!

I hadn't made as many mental plans (I don't mean as in crazy I mean as in the mind!) as you had as I was cautious until after the 12 week scan but I couldn't help but make some - working out the time of year the baby was going to be born, how that would affect our lives, where we would live etc etc. We never got to make any moves though like you did. And at least when you do need a family friendly home you will be in it! It's good to think positive about these things.

Glad the pg test is looking more faint, it's a good sign. I had a hard core workout with a trainer yesterday and have definitely expelled a bit more of this remaining blood clot! Not sure I can connect the two though, but maybe more feasible than my plans to shake on down a funky af.

Oh and our thoughts are with Diamonds who is likely to be in hospital now feeling horribly nervous, not least because of the prospect of waking up with a dog toy in her mouth! Hello again Really, i refreshed before I posed this so saw your posts and glad you are binge drinking your way through this thing with me :) WHEN we all get pg again we can all laugh at our once wild days...

Welcome marie - what a lovely first post on the board!
I'm so sorry for your loss. It's good to have you with us, though.

That point about losing the "planned baby" (even if it wasn't planned!) as opposed to the pregnancy etc. is spot on. As well as the grief, emptiness, numbness etc. there's such an overwhelming feeling of disappointment to suddenly see a future path you thought you were following crumble into dust under your feet. From big things like work/accommodation changes to accommodate a new baby, to little things like thinking, "no point in buying myself new summer clothes this season - unless they're bump-suitable" etc.
Suddenly you find yourself back to square one again. It's really dispiriting.

Anyway, on a brighter note, some random responses:
Good to hear from you again, LIG!
That book sounds interesting, freelance LOL at Dr Kwak!

Hope the hangover clears up soon Really (murderous when combined with child-minding!).

Just having a quick break. Really I could have a nap. There has been a definite passing of more brown blood so it would seem this final clot is getting out there, which is good, but you know how you can sometimes feel drained when having a heavy period (not that am having anything heavy, just a bit everyone now and then) I feel really quite tired and my brain isn't working well.

But more obligations to go visit friends this weekend as we didn't really catch up with friends from further afield when I was pg and now have a lot of them who think we have been neglecting them! So I have a complex weekend of staying in different houses for three nights and packing a very small bag, getting trains, lifts, driving and more and really I just want to chill out and go to the coast. But I know I will be happy chatting with friends once I get there! And having some wine of course.

Yes UC the book is really good! If you fancy a bit of reading I recommend you get it.

Here's a website about it:

babyfriendlybook.com/

But I got it on Amazon:

www.amazon.co.uk/Your-Body-Baby-Friendly-Unexplained-Infertility/dp/0978507800

Waves to everyone else! Hope all having an ok day. Looking forward to hearing from Diamonds if she is up for it after her day at the hospital.

Got to get on with work xx

Well, you'll all be so proud of me. I met up with an old dear friend and her DD and went to the Terrace Gardens and had a bottle of bubbly. We then went home and had a bottle of real champagne from my birthday! So lovely. I absolutely agree with you ladies about the inherent sadness. My acupuncturist (I have written this before, I am a 1 trick pony) says the uterus is a second heart. So there we go.

I really missed you all today, I was really looking forward to reporting back and I think it made me determined to have a lovely time so I could tell you all!

Ahhh. All soppy again. And maybe a bit tipsy

Hi everyone. Nice catching up with all your chat. I've been away a couple of days. It's been a funny old time. My period came 28 days after i delivered our 16 week angel bub. Can't believe how quickly the old body has got itself on track. Feel sad and it's just so wrong. Had a lot of tears on we'd night I must admit. Bye for now everyone. I feel like I have some lovely new friends out there. Thanks for support and caring. X

Hi everyone. Nice catching up with all your chat. I've been away a couple of days. It's been a funny old time. My period came 28 days after i delivered our 16 week angel bub. Can't believe how quickly the old body has got itself on track. Feel sad and it's just so wrong. Had a lot of tears on we'd night I must admit. Bye for now everyone. I feel like I have some lovely new friends out there. Thanks for support and caring. X