How are you feeling after MC?

[freelancegirl]

Hello everyone,

I though I would start a new thread for all of us who have been through a mc recently or not so recently and want to carry on swapping stories, bitching about crap feelings, celebrating any good feelings etc etc.

I will kick off, but I hope some of you will join me.

Bleeding has more or less stopped so am still worried about that 'last 2cm of product' the scan revealed still needed to emerge. Docs have given me antibiotics to ward off infection and am due back for another scan around 12th April.

Today I woke up feeling like shit! Emotionally I am still getting better but I feel so tired at times. I woke up feeling exhausted today, but there are other times during the day when I will be walking around fine and then suddenly feel totally knackered. No idea why. Hormones shifting? It's almost the same tiredness as had when pg. Sometimes I feel a bit sick too and am having the odd dizzy spell. I don't think there's any infection but like I said am already on antibiotics.

I am also really annoyed about my weight. I haven't weighed myself since the mc as don't have any scales at home but I go away at weekend so I can weigh myself tomorrow. But I know I had put on about 5lbs in the first trimester and my small jeans are still not fitting me. I was a bit of a gym bunny before getting pg (which coincided with xmas so I was eating more/exercising less anyway and had put on 3lbs, which I wasn't then bothered about as I knew I could shift it after xmas - not expecting to be a) pg and b) have an mc). Now I feel bloated and miserable about my weight because am guessing am around 8lbs heavier than my best. I realise there are other priorities but now there's no baby I would like to have my size and my energy back!

As regards moving forward and possibly ttc again, I have bought two cheap pg tests and when I am brave enough am going to see if I get a BFN. I feel that would be a step in the right direction to start with.

Hope all are well and feeling positive. Feel free to join in xxx

I'm not sure what it was Really felt like a big rubber bow tie, the sort you'd hang on to one end of while your dog hung on fiercely to the other end snarling and desperately trying to shake it out of your hand....you know the sort. No idea why it was there, we summised that it might be to stop me swallowing my tongue...orrrrr they just thought it'd be funny
Oh and chin chin and pass us a slice of funny looking cake would ya?

Stats :) Let me know if anyone is missing or want to be added on.

magicofthinkingbig Age 38 MMC 17/3/11 TTC#2 WTTC after AF
freelancegirl Age 36 MC 19/03/11 WTTC after appt with specialist - TBC.
ReallyUseful engine Age 35 MC March WTTC after AF
InmaculadaConcepcion Age 40 MMC 15/03/11 TTC #2 cycle 1
Bigflipflop Age 39 most rect mmc 01/04/11 WTTC after AF
Creamcracker Age 33 MMC 02/03/11 TTC/WTTC #1 no AF yet
Babylanguagelearner Age 34, MC 26/3/11. TTC#3 after AF
harassedinherpants Age 40, most rect mc 23/3/11 TTC #4 WTF cycl
mopey Age 38, MC 24/3/11. TTC #4 WTTC after AF
iloveblue Age 33 most rect mc 19/02/11 TTC#3 cycle 1

Wow Freelance I have before me all the ingreidients for a.. (wait for it).....Lemon Drizzle Cake!!!!! Now if I could just get off my arse and go and make it......

I wouldn't know what the ingredients were for a lemon drizzle cake (lemon? a bit of drizzle...?) and would need someone pointing me in the direction of the kitchen.

Coincidentally, nothing to do with potentially being a mother, DH and I decided that - now knowing I was pg - I should start learning to cook. Tuesday was going to be my day. I did it a couple of times but them the morning sickness kicked in and the last thing I wanted to do was look at food. I could just about eat it when it was in front of me, but not make it. Then I had a mc and now Tuesday Cooking Day seems to have gone out of the window. Small mercies, saved me from the kitchen. Saved the DH from food poisoning.

Freelance: lol! C'mon girl... You're supposed to be a researcher! Get thee to YouTube recip finder and get busy now! Before you fall pg again, with ms- so the vicious circle will begin. Methinks you are happily intentionally oblivious- nice trick. Wish I could back track now. But it's too late- once you have shown your hand in the kitchen, domestic bliss dictates you demonstrate your culinary skills from time to time- especially if the occasion calls for it(romantic evenings in/ birthdays), or work commitments are lax(surprise brunches/dinners). Think deeply before you commit yourself to being a slave part/full time in the kitchen!Ignorance (Be it of the true/feigned variety) is bliss!

Mmm.... cake. Count me in

Ha, yes big I know exactly what you mean about the thing they put in your mouth - I woke up trying to spit out this weird object that had somehow got between my teeth....it's a strange thing to regain consciousness to!

Way to go on the gym, freelance!

PS I've got no idea what a fetal pole is either.

It is a lemon drizzle! Well, it was supposed to be but we made a load of lemon icing instead of syrup to hide the wonkiness but I caught my DS licking the sides of the cake to stop the icing dripping onto the counter. No one need know, apart from you ladies who are probably making a mental note NEVER to visit for tea.

Big That sounds utterly bizarre. Was it an S&M hospital? Did the nurse have nipple tassles and a whip? How do you get a referral .

Free Can you cook anything? Not that it matters. Lovely that your DH can though. And anyway, you are too busy getting ready for your specialist subject on Mastermind. We shall of course all behind you, you know.. the crazy nazi nun family. I hope you're cancelling any weekend plans so you can stay in and swot up .

Crossed posts - IC you had a big rubber bow tie too? Goodness. Another question to add to the list of 'Things to ask IC's doctor friend'.

A fetal pole is the very early stages of a baby, it's the first thing that forms, and is basically the spine i spose, it's what they look for in the sac as it signifies the pregnancy has got beyond the initial stage and dates it to about 5/6 weeks i think
I'm with Really on the whole cooking thing...Whatever you do, don't show your hand Freelance you've got away with it this far!

Not loving the idea of an S&M hospital...might be a bit hurty

I love the way the posts get crossed over - myself and IC wondering what a fetal pole is and Really coming in with 'It's a lemon drizzle!' ! It's put me off lemon drizzle I can tell you.

Have been reading Lesley Regan - her Tender Loving Care theory (patients respond well to tests and attention) would be sorely (tee hee!) tested in the S&M hospital Oo er matron indeed.

I can make salads, pastas - but have for a year or more have eaten v few carbs on weekdays so these are out of the window) and occasionally use an electric steamer to steam fish and veg. But yes, it IS rather handy...I would write more but DH is cooking dinner and has kicked me off mn saying I need to get on with some bloody work whilst he cooks.

PS. Ahhh. I have a really lovely youtube video of my nan (who is 96) showing you how to make scones. You would LOVE it. Trouble is - pasting it would 'out' myself. Opinions on being outed please...? I'll have you know I am a 26-uninvented-alphabet-characters-below-a-Z list celebrity :)

ooooh Freelance will I have heard of you????? how exciting!!!!

LOL! Unlikely :)

Well, I post links to my blog freelance and I've managed to avoid being mobbed by starstruck mumsnetters
Up to you, of course! Sounds like a lovely video, though.

Diamonds obs friend says it's difficult to give you precise advice without a proper consultation, but she suspects in your position she would opt for the ERPC. As an obstetrician who's seen numerous ERPC ops performed, she has a high regard for their safety and efficiency. (She was given all three choices when her own mmc was detected and opted for ERPC without hesitation).
HTH

but not impossible then Freelance eh...eh.....

I've had a squizz at Immac and she's luvverley

Aw, big, what a sweet thing to say!

But of course, freelance, that's why I live in Spain, so the mn hoardes can't get me

Actually, you could post the link, leave it up for a bit, then ask for MNHQ to delete the post if you wanted...

Wow Free both you and you Nan are gorgeous, and I will be watching her video with my food obsessed middle daughter. I'm very jealous of all the wonderful places you've visited, i would have loved to have travelled more.
I know exactly where you're coming from with regards real life freinds feeling sorry for you. I have a friend that I've known since I was 11 years old, who's just asked me (via email) whats been wrong, and I haven't told her I've told other less long standing friends, but for some reason I can't stand the idea of this one feeling sorry for me. Bizarre isn't it?

Ahh, thanks big. My nan is lovely. Hope the middle daughter likes the vid. The scones are indeed lovely too! I travel for a living so have been lucky

I know exactly what you mean about the email thing with the friend. I guess if I admit it deep down I feel like people feeling sorry for me will mean I have failed in some way. I know that is totally irrational but it is how I feel. Also, having not had kids in some way I don't want people I know with them feeling sorry for me because I don't have them. So odd the way the mind works. I work myself up having imaginary conversations with people who feel sorry for me and I rebuke them with something really sharp. Imaginary conversations that really stress me out! Thanks for watching some of my videos. There's plenty more if you google me if you are bored...

I do the same free agonise over imaginary conversations, especially at three in the morning! It's bonkers but I can't help feeling this particular person will derive some sort of pleasure from the fact that things aren't going my way.....there I said it....I'm a nutter.
I will definitely watch some more of your vids, I thoroughly enjoyed the ones I've seen so far.
Must go and make my husband his dinner though, I'm through the first bottle of Pinot Blush and if I don't crack on we'll be having toast

You're absolutely right about feeling freer to share your innermost thoughts with internet sprites than RL friends, freelance!
Before the internet I think random people on public transport did the job of providing a sympathetic but dispassionate ear - it's always been easier to tell your problems to a stranger.

Having said that, I've said a few times upthread that my blog post (also reprinted automatically on my FB page) made it abundantly clear what had happened in my case and how I felt about it and all the lovely messages of sympathy and (in some cases) fellow feeling were really helpful.
BUT I hadn't made any secret of my intention to ttc another DC (hadn't made it a secret first time round, either), so I didn't have to skirt around that issue. And I've become used to blogging stuff, including fairly intimate stuff, so it wasn't a such a huge deal in that respect.
I'm not sure I would have been so open if I'd still been in my former job, which involved a certain amount of public exposure.

I might try that tomorrow on the tube - 'I've just had a miscarriage you know...' and see if I get a sympathetic ear :) I have actually always been very open about my personal life too in my work and if I was presenting a talk show still probably would have indeed mentioned it. Not sure why I am more coy with my friends! Again, it's back to what Big said about some weird sense that someone will derive some sort of pleasure from the fact that things aren't going my way! Impressed that Big is on the blush. Was so tempted to go out tonight but resisted. Haven't had a drink since, oooh, Monday...Am also currently resisting the urge to head round to the corner shop and get chocolate. Bloated, sugar cravings, weird emotions....Hmmm.