How are you feeling after MC?

[freelancegirl]

Hello everyone,

I though I would start a new thread for all of us who have been through a mc recently or not so recently and want to carry on swapping stories, bitching about crap feelings, celebrating any good feelings etc etc.

I will kick off, but I hope some of you will join me.

Bleeding has more or less stopped so am still worried about that 'last 2cm of product' the scan revealed still needed to emerge. Docs have given me antibiotics to ward off infection and am due back for another scan around 12th April.

Today I woke up feeling like shit! Emotionally I am still getting better but I feel so tired at times. I woke up feeling exhausted today, but there are other times during the day when I will be walking around fine and then suddenly feel totally knackered. No idea why. Hormones shifting? It's almost the same tiredness as had when pg. Sometimes I feel a bit sick too and am having the odd dizzy spell. I don't think there's any infection but like I said am already on antibiotics.

I am also really annoyed about my weight. I haven't weighed myself since the mc as don't have any scales at home but I go away at weekend so I can weigh myself tomorrow. But I know I had put on about 5lbs in the first trimester and my small jeans are still not fitting me. I was a bit of a gym bunny before getting pg (which coincided with xmas so I was eating more/exercising less anyway and had put on 3lbs, which I wasn't then bothered about as I knew I could shift it after xmas - not expecting to be a) pg and b) have an mc). Now I feel bloated and miserable about my weight because am guessing am around 8lbs heavier than my best. I realise there are other priorities but now there's no baby I would like to have my size and my energy back!

As regards moving forward and possibly ttc again, I have bought two cheap pg tests and when I am brave enough am going to see if I get a BFN. I feel that would be a step in the right direction to start with.

Hope all are well and feeling positive. Feel free to join in xxx

ahhhhhh Really that makes perfect sense, re: the C Sections and contractions. With the one I had following a 6 weekish loss, the contractions were strong but not unbearable. After the one I've just had at 12+4 they were absolute agony (sorry) I would go for the ERPC every time!
Oh, and is it too early for ladies????

Hi everyone - hope you don't mind if I join you. I have had 4 miscarriages since October 2009. My last was in January/Feb this year. I am on holiday at the moment but even being away from home and spending lovely days with my family I can't stop thinking about the losses I've suffered. It's scarred me terribly for life, and also aged me by about 10 years due to the constant stress and worry. I've been told to try aspirin for my next pregnancy which will hopefully be soon, as we plan to try again.

I don't feel anything really - the MC's have really numbed me. Even when I try to be happy and laugh, it's very short-lived. I think I am turning into a very bitter and sad person because of what is happening to me. I wish I could be happy and carefree again like I used to be - but I will never get that back. The MC's have taken away alot of my inner happiness and peace.

I know I am not well physically, as I wouldn't of MC'd 4 times in a row if I had been healthy, but I also know that emotionally I am not well either. Life is pretty shit - I wouldn't have survived had it not been for my beautiful 3 year old - she is our little miracle.

Milkyway Am so sorry for your losses, it sounds alot to bear. Am glad you found your way to the thread here, it is very supportive and if we have no advice we have a fair old bash at it anyway. Have you had the cause investigated by the hospital or do you have a feeling as to what could be causing it (apart from appalling, sheer bad luck.) Am glad you have a lovely DC to help you through. May I ask why you were advised aspirin? I remember freelance mentioning it in a thread a while back. Am not sure if you would like to add yourself to the stats, but please do if you feel ready.

Big Thank you, can I have another glass, sod it. Pass the bottle.

sunny So sorry you are still in the throes of it. I imagine you will feel relieved to some degree after the ERPC. From what I can figure out is that it usually takes longer than usual to have your AF. Apparently an AF 20 days before the end of your last m/c bleed is not an AF Ladies, sorry to highlight this, but do you think this is true? But, I think you should get one about 6 weeks after the m/c in most cases. Would you like to add yourself to the stats we have?

Where are the bloody stats anyway?

Am having one of those moments when I wonder how many tears we have cried between us?

Sending big afternoon hugs (feeling all soppy)

Really sorry to hear of your losses, milkyway. You are in the best place here for the most fantastic, knowledgeable, experienced and gentle advice! These ladies here have calmed my frazzled nerves no end!
Reallyusefulengine: does ovulation happen before or after AF then? Anyone?
I've been crying all day; but all cried out now. And completely shattered. Very nervous about Friday now...

So thanks for the well needed hugs. Sorry for crying all over your shoulder!

Oooh, we need Freelance for the ovulation question Freelance Are you there? I think you can because I think Freelance did. We will will all look after you until Friday and beyond

poor you Milkyway you sound really quite low poppet, have you ever been offered counselling? might be worth a word with your GP to let them know how you're feeling, who knows! they may even be able to help. In the meantime we'll look after you.
Glad to hear you're feeling a teensy bit brighter after a damn good cry Sunny, please don't worry about Friday, you'll be grand I promise, and will feel much more your old self after. I've found this miscarriage the easiest to recover from phicsically, even though it's the latest one I've had, as my body has returned to it's prepregnancy state much more quickly. It's only 10 days since I had mine, yet my bleeding stopped days ago, and I feel quite perky. With the others I bled for six or seven weeks, and I really feel that keeps you in the fragile just miscarried frame of mind much longer + your hormones seem to stay all over the place.
You can ovulate as early as two weeks after a miscarriage, these forums are littered with folks who have got pregnant without even having a period post mc.
Really I'm just chilling the Fizz in the freezer, feel like i need an early start today.
mwah to all x

Thankyou Reallyuseful! It's hit me much harder than I expected. I'm normally the one who holds the fort. At the moment it feels quite bleak. I mean, what are the chances at our age? 40 and 43? I think it's looking pretty slim. Miracles are quite thin on the ground! Here's wishing someone gets pregnant on this thread soon to give us all some much deserved hope. :-)

Bigflipflop: thanks for your optimism. Really cheered me up. How was the analgesia? Did you have anyone to stay with you? At our hospital, they've said you can bring someone, but there's no point, as you'll be in theatre on your own. Just said make sure there's someone to collect you at the end of the day. Suits me fine as kids on hols, and no one to babysit them apart from Dh. Will I be okay on my own? Or will I need someone there to hold my hand?

A bit different for me, as I ended up there so bloomin long, that my husband sort of popped in and out. After the actual op. which incidently I had at 11 o'clock at night!!!! I slept, so to be honest, you won't care if anyones there or not. Like they say, as long as someone drives you home, you'll be absolutely fine. I know it doesn't feel like it, but in surgical terms it's a very minor op. I've actually had one years ago with no aneasthetic at all to give you an idea.

the op is actually a D&C which is a routine treatment for all sort of gynie probs, such as heavy periods, hope that helps put you at ease

Thats good. Don't like being fretted and fussed over, makes me emotional and uncomfortable.I feel much stronger on my own. One other question: how is eprc performed? Are they guided by camera? Or done blindly? So to speak! You must be really brave to undergo the procedure without analgesia! It sounds like mental torture! 100 times worse than the dentist!

I've been reading it can lead to ashermans syndrome: rendering you infertile! You are the first person to put my mind at ease: that it's there to help me rather than make things worse! :-)

Welcome dee, milky and sunny to our sad-but-trying-to-soldier-on thread...

milky, it does sound like some talking therapy might help you. That's a lot of bereavement for anyone to endure. Big

dee and sunny it's awful when it's still so raw, isn't it?

sunny, I was on my own for much of the time when I had my ERPC and was just fine. I had a good book with me and actually rather enjoyed the enforced siesta, sad though the occasion was. DH came to collect me a few hours after the procedure. The whole thing was actually pretty untraumatic, I'm sure you'll be fine. I felt better when it was done, too.

Diamonds This is what my obs friend said about your situation:

1. Was there a fetal pole or just an empty sac?
2. Does she have a regular cycle?
3. How long ago was the 1st day of her last period, or how much time has lapsed between now and the time she was 8+5 by dates?

"too long" is a relative term, there is no such thing (in terms of how long medical management would take) There is no difference in infection rate between the 3 methods, providing she is bleeding, which by the sounds of it she isn't, so by doing nothing the infection chance now increases compared to the other 2 methods. method 3 was doing nothing Medical and conservative management often fail if there is no fetal pole. She needs to ask all of these questions in the early pregnancy clinic. Ask her to write them down.

I hope that's at least focused your concerns to some degree, Diamonds. I'm sure my friend would advise further if you needed her to once you have the answers to those questions.

to be perfectly honest, I had never heard of Ashermans syndrome till you mentioned it just now. I've now had a read of the website and think this may well be what I have. I've had numerous d&c's and two cases of retained placenta following delivery which required surgery. I can't believe this has never been mentioned to me! It might also explain why they encourage medical management, has this option been put to you? It is the less invasive route. Sorry to piss on your cornflakes, just never heard of it till now. However on a brighter note, this would be your first, and I know literally hundreds of women who've undergone this and similiar treatments without having any problems at all conceiving. I must read further and find out whether its stops you conceiving, or carrying a pregnancy past a certain point.

In my case, pain from the ERPC was minimal. And yes, as big says, it's a very routine op and severe complications are very rare. Don't worry, it'll be fine! Even an infection following the procedure should be easily cleared up by a short course of antibiotics.

I believe they basically open up your cervix with a speculum while you're under GA and gently scoop out the contents of your uterus.

I posted the link upthread, but I blogged about my own ERPC experience. It was in Spain, but I have every reason to believe the approach is virtually the same in the UK. It might help.

Thank you bigflipflop and immaculada! I will have a look at your blog now thanks. Bigflipflop: I hope you don't have ashermans sounds quite complex to both pinpoint and treat.

It does Sunny still trying to find out whether or not it prevents conception.
Just read your blog Immac love your pic by the way, what a fabulous way to start a new and exciting life. Your experience sounds fairly similiar to mine, except I was away with the fairies before any nether region dousing too place.....thankfully
Is that chilled yet???

Thankyou so much for your kind words and generous support girlies.
I am very grateful for you taking so much of your time to help me Immaculadaconcepcion. Heregoes:

1. Yes, just empty sac; no foetal pole.

2.regular 28 day cycle, without fail.

1. Last period: 27th January. 8 weeks 5 days on 29th March. So, 15 days lapsed between then and today. But do bear in mind that the sac is the size of a six week pregnancy according to the sonographer, therefore they have labelled it as a missed miscarriage. Inspite of the fact that I was bleeding when scanned.

Hope that helps you help me further! Very very grateful for your help. Humbled by your kindness. X Sorry to hear of your loss Sunny. Really hope it all works out for you x

Not as chilled as my nether regions were, big

I've relayed your answers Diamonds. I'll let you know when I hear back.
No trouble, by the way - I'm just the go-between!

Funnily enough what woke me up was choking on that rubber dog toy they shoved in me gob (can you tell I'm a northerener)

Hello my lovely support group

I?ve been working really hard (at the gym) and just got back. Got to do some real work (chatting on mn) now. Lots of brackets ( ) going on here.

Big ? it?s never too early for wine. I got back from the gym and both DH and I decided we were really feeling rather low and what might cheer us up is going out tonight. I do really want to do that but half of me wants to save on calories. Oh it?s fun being a woman. Funny how we are both feeling low today even though we have lots of positive things going on in our life.

Milkyway ? welcome to the group. So sorry you are here in the circumstances. Four mcs must have been absolutely awful for you. It distresses me to hear you say you feel the mcs have taken away your inner happiness and peace. I am thinking (in my experience at the moment) that the hormones must have a lot to do with it. In the few times I have suffered brief periods of depression (mainly when my thyroid problem was untreated but every year or so I get a week or so where I just don?t feel like being anywhere or doing anything) I have felt similar to how you are describing. Are you having any help with this? You need to tell someone who understands or can listen. Maybe you should speak to your doctor (I know docs can be crap sometimes) or think about counselling? I have had counselling before and it has been really helpful. Thank god you have your little girl to keep you stronger.

Really and Milky ? I think aspirin is prescribed as a blood thinner but am hoping that Milky is getting specialist help. After 4 mcs Milky you really need to be seeing a specialist, not you doctor. Hopefully you are.

The first I have heard about the ?AF 20 days before the end of your last m/c bleed is not an AF? rule is today so I can?t help you there. But if I start reading my books tonight?

I have Lesley Regan?s ?Miscarriage?, Alan Beer?s ?Is Your Body Baby Friendly? and Mary Shomon?s Thryoid Hormone Breakthrough which is said to have a lot about pregnancy in it.

Am feeling soppy too ? wish we were all in the same room with copious amounts of wine.

Glad we have helped calm your nerves Sunny. As you can see we have a few laughs here, are a bit silly sometimes but generally support each others, swap a lot of info and are of great help to each other. It?s funny because what you are going through now we all went through a few weeks ago and some of the rest of us now sound like such veterans! It?s been a sharp learning curve I can tell you. A, uphill learning hair-pin bend.

The ovulation question? You ovulate in the middle of the cycle don?t you? For some people it?s different but I think the general rule is (consults DR google): Ovulation usually occurs between 12 and 14 days before your period starts. This is an average, so it could be a couple of days earlier or later.

Great work with your obs friend for Diamonds, IC! Really useful. Hope that helps a bit Diamonds. How are you feeling today?

Two things that have confused me about the conversations above:

1. what rubber dog thing do they stick in your mouth?

2. what is a fetal pole? I never got round to finding that one out when I was pg.

Resisting urge to name check every single person so we all don't feel obliged too!

hey Immac....Foxy laydeeeeee

Freelance Good grief, am so impressed by the workouts. We were wondering if you can ovulate after m/c but before af - you can can't you? Didn't you? And don't be fooled by Dr Google on ovulation - it can happen anytime from 10-21 days. It catches lots of people out when they're trying ttc. Honestly, Dr Google, anyone would think you weren't actually medically qualified.

Big I agree, never to early for wine. And what did they stick in your mouth? Laughed alot and then thought maybe it wasnt a joke .

DC and I have just made the most peculiar looking cake. I really want some wine now.

I for one wouldn't start disputing Dr Google's medical qualifications, nor mine for that matter. Don't you know I am the proud owner of three books on miscarriage and fertility...?

Ah yes, sorry I got it wrong. Yes you can ovulate after mc and before af. Most people do from what my (again extensively googled) research reveals. I did. I felt it happen and when I went for a scan they can tell. Might be worth asking if any of you are due for another scan whether they can tell. They could see whatever is left over after the egg has passed on. They didn't volunteer the info, I said I had ovulated and asked could I tell. They don't volunteer much info do they!

CAKE!!! I am jealous. Can you post me some? My favourite is lemon drizzle. I don't care what it looks like - the rougher and more homemade looking the better.