How are you feeling after MC?

[freelancegirl]

Hello everyone,

I though I would start a new thread for all of us who have been through a mc recently or not so recently and want to carry on swapping stories, bitching about crap feelings, celebrating any good feelings etc etc.

I will kick off, but I hope some of you will join me.

Bleeding has more or less stopped so am still worried about that 'last 2cm of product' the scan revealed still needed to emerge. Docs have given me antibiotics to ward off infection and am due back for another scan around 12th April.

Today I woke up feeling like shit! Emotionally I am still getting better but I feel so tired at times. I woke up feeling exhausted today, but there are other times during the day when I will be walking around fine and then suddenly feel totally knackered. No idea why. Hormones shifting? It's almost the same tiredness as had when pg. Sometimes I feel a bit sick too and am having the odd dizzy spell. I don't think there's any infection but like I said am already on antibiotics.

I am also really annoyed about my weight. I haven't weighed myself since the mc as don't have any scales at home but I go away at weekend so I can weigh myself tomorrow. But I know I had put on about 5lbs in the first trimester and my small jeans are still not fitting me. I was a bit of a gym bunny before getting pg (which coincided with xmas so I was eating more/exercising less anyway and had put on 3lbs, which I wasn't then bothered about as I knew I could shift it after xmas - not expecting to be a) pg and b) have an mc). Now I feel bloated and miserable about my weight because am guessing am around 8lbs heavier than my best. I realise there are other priorities but now there's no baby I would like to have my size and my energy back!

As regards moving forward and possibly ttc again, I have bought two cheap pg tests and when I am brave enough am going to see if I get a BFN. I feel that would be a step in the right direction to start with.

Hope all are well and feeling positive. Feel free to join in xxx

There is definitely a theory. My foetus died at 7 weeks (mc at 12 so I will never know the sex but when I was pg I was so sure it was a boy.

The process is indeed crazy isn't it. I don't have kids yet but I sometimes wonder if my parents still look at their 30 odd year old kids and think - we made them! Fascinating really, so easy and natural yet so difficult sometimes.

Welcome, sea...so sorry to hear of your losses. Horribly tough

Nice to have you back, Diamonds, although I'm sorry to hear about your frustrating situation. I'll ask my obs friend if she has any thoughts on the best way to deal with it and get back to you.

I suspect the kind of info you're seeking regarding the thyroid antibodies business is too specialised for a casual FB conversation!
What a dilemma, though freelance.

Interesting to hear the boys + mc theory....
If boys are more likely to be mc than girls, wouldn't that mean that there would be more men in the population, when in fact it's usually within a few per cent of 50/50 (discounting those societies where infanticide against girls is high )
I suppose it could be that more boys are also initially conceived than girls, but fewer survive, retaining the rough equilibrium. Boy sperm don't live for as long, do they? But I think they move faster, whereas girl sperm are slower but survive longer once through the cervix IIRR...

I'm sorry not to name-check everyone - this thread moves so quickly!!

Can I just and send some umn {hugs} to make up for it?!

I give up too, although I am reading, just losing track of who says what. I blame the easter hols, and three kids who incidently are all girls. I've often wondered if I can't carry boys, particularly as when you're actively trying to conceive i.e doing the deed around ovulation, the male sperm will be more likely to be first passed the post (so to speak)....interesting theory, but not particularly helpful

Hello folks,

Hope you don't mind me joining you here.

I miscarried on Sunday night and am feeling such a mix of emotions right now. I feel angry, hurt and most of all empty.

Going back to supplements - I've just checked www.simplysupplements.net which is where I bought my Folic Acid a few months ago, and they have Selenium. It is BOGOF on everything plus free delivery - think it works out at £3.99 for 120 (200mcg). Not sure how that compares to Holland + Barret, will have to do a price comparison. They also have Vit D tablets.

How old are your girls bigflip ?

Xposted deemented - hello and I'm sorry for your loss. You must be feeling pretty crappy. How many weeks were you?

Morning all and welcome Dee, sorry for your loss. You are going to feel angry, hurt and empty, it's terribly sad. Even now, weeks later I often find myself momentarily remembering I am pg (as I did for three months) and then seconds later remembering I had a mc instead. People deal with it in different ways so it is great to chat here about random feelings and also concerns about trying again, which we all have. Sometimes it gets technical (me and my antibodies) sometimes it's speculative (our current theory about mc ing boys - see Big's and IC's excellent summation above) and sometimes it's downright silly and good fun just to chat, moan, drink lots and talk crap with people who understand what you are going through. So do stick around and we can all help each other through these tough times.

I reckon we should give up namechecking, welcome new people and address anyone when we are directly answering them and not worry about the rest as we are an inclusive bunch and we all know that without worrying about leaving anyone out.

Almost 10am and have yet to start work. Hmmm. Best get on with it as I really want to try squeeze in the gym.

Crossed posts Blue - that is a really good deal on supplements! They are much more than than in H&B.

I was almost ten weeks.

I had some spotting and cramping at about seven weeks, and went for an early scan which showed a heartbeat, but was measuring about 12 days behind my dates. I really thought everything was going to be ok. I had no idea whatsoever i was going to miscarry - we'd been out for ice cream with my DC and when we got home i suddenly started bleeding, then cramping, which got worse until i passed everything late on Sunday night.

I know i'm not pregnant anymore, but how long til my body realises? Horrendous morning sickness this morning, boobs are still sore and tender. I just want it all to stop.

I think it takes a few weeks for your body to catch up. Almost four weeks after mine first started I know my body isn't quite back to normal. I am not as strong as normal and at first had a few dizzy spells. My pg symptoms had started to go before I started mc ing but I thought that was because I was at 12 weeks and starting the second trimester. It will stop, don't worry. It will just take some time.

Hi Dee welcome, and so sorry to hear you;re going through this shit too, you're in good company here though.
My girls are 14, 7 and 4 Blue, they're fab, and I feel very greedy for wanting just one more...can't help it though, wish I could it'd make life so much bloody simpler if I could just be happy with the three and move on. I know that's what all my family and friends think.

oh, and agreed Freelance with the whole name checking thing, can't keep up!

Hi there, you ladies sound very knowledgeable and supportive, hope you can offer me some advice! I have 3 dcs all born via csection. Miscarried at 7 weeks 3 weeks ago. Scan showed tissue still remaining. Booked in for ERPC this Friday. Will this hamper my fertility? Read somewhere on google that it can lead to scarring which will prevent future pregnancy from sticking. Already scarring in there from c sections. This was gonna be my dhs first child. My 3 dcs are from a previous relationship, but Dh loves them as his own. Grateful for any or all advice. Thankyou.

Hi all. Especially tough to keep up since my computer seems broken and I sm currently limited to iPhone. But I will try. I am reading but can't hope to write a sensible post to prove that! It is nice to read everyone's updates. Welcome to new ladies and am sorry you have reason to join us, but glad you found us.

Was it Really who wondered if I might consider an option to bring the DC's to London? I would actually love to do this especially since DS was born there. Ah, I think reality though is it probably all costs too much (especially since I might now need a new MacBook)! Will keep thinking on it though.

Also thinking of doing a test in the next day or so to see if I have a BFN yet. Haven't done one since the day the MC started (just to convince myself I had not imagined the BFP in the first place). It is nearly 3 weeks now, but bleeding all stopped almost 2 weeks ago. I wonder if it is too early.

Hello Dee I am so sorry for your loss. It must be awful to m/c so suddenly and without any prior warning. I agree with Freelance It takes a while before your body catches up and your pregnancy levels return to zero. I think that you get better physically each day but you really notice on a week by week basis. The difference I feel compared to 3 weeks ago is immense although I am taking lots of iron tablets and blood builders due to anaemia. Am still a bit tired and weak too. Emotionally too, it takes a while - like most of us I am still wading through the aftermath. Glad you've joined us for some hand holding xx

Causes and reasons; I think about this endlessly and feel guilty but am not entirely sure why. I ovulate quite late in my cycle and wonder if it was a result of late implantation or whether it was just a damaged egg or a damaged sperm. As IC's friend said - perhaps its our bodies knowing what is and isn't feasible. So hard to think about because it is hard to have any perspective about this right now but it does seem a sensible approach to say the least. My acupuncturist said that I should be careful about rushing into pregnancy straightaway - she thinks it's because my circulation and blood isn't great and my cervix might not have provided enough nourishment. She said in 10 years time I would have forgotten waiting for that few months.

Wise words which clearly I have chosen to ignore!

Freelance I am bloated and feel premenstrual too. Hmm. I don't think you're supposed to count any bleeding within 20 days of the last bleed to be your AF so am hoping it doesn't show up for another week. Marvellous, a whole week of looking podgy for no good reason. Off to find some loose clothes...

And big hellos and hugs and that sort of thing to the rest of the family!

Harassed sorry x posts. I have the same symptoms and think it might be AF. I did an OPK and it was negative. Your SIL sounds so insensitive, you poor thing. I am pretty sure that most people would agree with you. I imagine she will suddenly realise it was an appalling thing to do some day in the future and feel awful. You should pose it as a question on AIBU!

Have i missed something Really? who's SIL said what? sorry for being thick, I'm struggling to keep up.

So sorry to have barged in. Please accept my sincere apologies... I'll go away now.

don't be daft Sunny come back!!!! really sorry that you're going through this, it's bloody awful, and confusing. With regards the ERPC I was told that they would rather medically manage mc (in my area) as this they feel is less invasive, and encourages the body to do what comes naturally. However, I have a sneaky feeling it's also cheaper than ERPC and although this carries a very small risk of damage to your cervix or uterus it is a quick minor procedure with very little if any pain. Hope this helps a little bit, as I say, it's only my opinion

Hi Sunny thanks for joining in and so sorry you are going through what you are going through. You are in the right place for support though. I can't tell you about the ERPC from personal experience as I have had natural mcs but I do know they are reasonably common on here and I haven't heard anyone mention anything about them damaging their fertility so I should imagine there are reasons to be positive about this as Bigflip says. Let us know how it goes! It will no doubt be an emotionally draining and awful experience so make sure people are looking after you in RL too.

I think really might have been responding on another post. I do that all the time - am getting confused with the amount of boards I am on! This one and the TTC post MC ones as well as the recurrent buns ones have been fantastic support for me. Whoever isn't on the TTC after MC ones do be brave and come on over. Not that I am actually ttc yet but it's good to talk about options etc. Obviously might be a bit early for Sunny and Dee.

Good evening BLL I think it is a great idea to bring DCs for a holiday! Or leave them too. But holidays are going to be good for you so do try to take one.

gosh sunny I hope your last post is not because mine immediately followed yours without acknowledging it, just my oversight! I am not very knowledgable so cannot answer your question but you will certainly get the support of me and everyone on here. I am sorry for what you are going through.

Thanks girls. Just felt very guilty for offloading here, especially when you ladies have all gone through a similarly horrible time. I will be going down the ERPC route, and will vocalise my concerns to the doctor conducting the procedure. Just a really scary place to be in really! Freelancegirl: with regards to ttc again: hope I can join you ladies soon! Need to get over this hurdle first- wonder when my cycle will return after ERPC? Was regular before this, but who knows?

Yay, my miscarriage library has arrived from amazon! Baby friendly-mc-thyroid... I should go on bloody mastermind! Now which shall I read first?

Hello Sunny Am so sorry for your loss and apologies for missing your post. I think I accidentally responded to 2 posts on an earlier bit of the thread (I think). Am being as thick as the wall .

I imagine that if you have had 3 c-sections than they will do the surgery with the upmost care. I think it is a v. safe procedure.

I had a c-section with my first child and I imagine that they might not want to medically manage it in this case because they don't want you to experience induced contractions, even mild ones. I am basing this on the fact they don't like to induce birth (with oxytocin for example) in someone with a previous c-section because there is a tiny risk it could rupture the uterus. This is IMO and I could be wrong - I had a natural m/c too.

Come back! It is very supportive here xxx

Thanks for the info reallyusefulengine! I imagine you're right. Please do not apologise. I just thought I'd put my big foot in it! Freelancegirl: feel free to share any useful info here! I think it will be most gratefully received!