How are you feeling after MC?

[freelancegirl]

Hello everyone,

I though I would start a new thread for all of us who have been through a mc recently or not so recently and want to carry on swapping stories, bitching about crap feelings, celebrating any good feelings etc etc.

I will kick off, but I hope some of you will join me.

Bleeding has more or less stopped so am still worried about that 'last 2cm of product' the scan revealed still needed to emerge. Docs have given me antibiotics to ward off infection and am due back for another scan around 12th April.

Today I woke up feeling like shit! Emotionally I am still getting better but I feel so tired at times. I woke up feeling exhausted today, but there are other times during the day when I will be walking around fine and then suddenly feel totally knackered. No idea why. Hormones shifting? It's almost the same tiredness as had when pg. Sometimes I feel a bit sick too and am having the odd dizzy spell. I don't think there's any infection but like I said am already on antibiotics.

I am also really annoyed about my weight. I haven't weighed myself since the mc as don't have any scales at home but I go away at weekend so I can weigh myself tomorrow. But I know I had put on about 5lbs in the first trimester and my small jeans are still not fitting me. I was a bit of a gym bunny before getting pg (which coincided with xmas so I was eating more/exercising less anyway and had put on 3lbs, which I wasn't then bothered about as I knew I could shift it after xmas - not expecting to be a) pg and b) have an mc). Now I feel bloated and miserable about my weight because am guessing am around 8lbs heavier than my best. I realise there are other priorities but now there's no baby I would like to have my size and my energy back!

As regards moving forward and possibly ttc again, I have bought two cheap pg tests and when I am brave enough am going to see if I get a BFN. I feel that would be a step in the right direction to start with.

Hope all are well and feeling positive. Feel free to join in xxx

Thanks for your warm welcome freelance and bigflipflop. Germany was fantastic. Lovely and relaxing break. However this hanging over our heads just brought us back down to earth with a bang! Sac measures 28mm*17mm. So not too big. How do I go about getting a second opinion? Through gp or hospital where I am being treated? Feels a bit like being on a conveyor belt, just keep getting pushed along- feeling totally helpless and out of control. I've read that if left unmanaged then can lead to infertility- which is the last thing we want or need! Heeeeelp!

That sounds like good advice from Big to ask whether it might go naturally but the trouble is who to ask, isn't it? It doesn't sound too big but I just don't know about these things.

I really feel your frustration Diamonds as I find with this whole mc procedure there has been very little advice. My gp just seems to be a portal for me to ask for referrals for what my own research has told me, on here or elsewhere online. Sorry - that doesn't help much does it? Maybe arrange an urgent appt with your gp if you can and see what he/she says? Or see if you can have a phone conversation with whoever you saw earlier to ask what they think re the size of the sac and whether it might pass naturally?

It's difficult, as clearly your Doctor knows far better than me, and if they have advised some sort of intervention there must be a good reason. The sac size we were talking about wasn't dissimiliar, forgive me, but I've forgotten how many weeks you were when you mc? Mine was a mmc and the sac measured about 6 weeks. It's all a complete bloody pain, nobody tells you anything!! I'm summoning the strength to start the whole bloody process of trying to find out what to do next, and also where and when I'll get the results of the biopsy they took during my ERPC.....they tell you nowt!!! The whole system is CRAP. I for one am sick to death of being patted by the sodding midwives at EPAU...they don't seem to know their arses from their elbows, and only seem to be capable of tea and sympathy...oh and asking you what YOU want to do???? If I knew that, I wouldn't be here asking for advice!!!!!! aaarggghhhhhh.....I'm on one now hahahaa

Freelance girl: I asked the doc giving me my options, for the best solution, all I got was it's your decision! Like bigflipflop says so rightly aaaggghhhh! Feel like tearing my hair out! I was 8.5 weeks pregnant. Pregnancy ended at Approximately 6 weeks, so quite similar size to yours bigflipflop. So how many weeks pregnant were you when the ERPC was conducted? Forgive me for asking how long ago it was. I'm in my own little problem wrapped bubble at the mo, although I feel surprisingly well. If there was an infection, would it be silent or would I know about it?

I think if there was an infection you would know about it as they told me to look out for high fever, severe pain or a nasty vag smell. If you have no signs I think that is a good, er, sign.

Aaggghhh! Is right indeed. We are all intelligent and proactive people, imagine if we weren't we would get even less info. But it is so hard to remember everything to ask too when you are going through such a nightmare.

I felt the same re tea and sympathy at the EPU this morning. I don't want to see a nurse who 'didn't know enough about it' as she said when I asked her about supplements etc. I want to see a doctor who knows!

Again, sorry Diamonds, is doesn't help. Big is more infomed on the technical/ERPC front, I just wanted to vent with you both and empathise.

I was 12+4 when I had the ERPC, which was 10 days ago. I had to beg and plead (no exageration) for it as they were hell bent on making me go down the medically managed route, as beyond 9 weeks there are greater risks of perforating your uterus, but I basically refused point blank, so after several hours of stalemate the consultant agreed...reluctantly.
I've always been told that if I had an infection I'd know about it as there would be pain and problems weeing.
My first miscarriage, I found out on the 23rd of December that the pregnancy had ended two weeks earlier, but didn't go in for the medically managed mc till 22nd of January. with the second one, the time scale was very similiar however I let nature take its course.

Freelance It must be a relief that you have had the scan today and at least know where you are in terms of physically healing, and that you had indeed ovulated when you thought you had. In these times when you feel you have no control over your body it is nice to have a small victory. It is interesting that you did ovulate when there was some retained products, I thought you wouldn't ovulate until the pregnancy hormones had reduced to zero - which in turn couldn't happen until you had expelled all matter. Did they test your hcg levels too?

Diamonds Welcome home! We were missing you. Am sorry to hear about your sac still being in the uterus. It must feel like an endlessly long sad saga. I had a 'natural' m/c (still figuring out what the bejazus was natural about the whole brutal thing) so don't know about either clinical procedure. But, FWIW I think the pill/suppository method, whilst avoiding a general anaesthetic might be time consuming and involve a longer stay in hospital. But then the ERPC might be better in that it would have you home the same day. I am not sure if this helps in the slightest bit. . As always, it looks like one of those things we will have to research on the internet.

Big Big hug, I can understand why you feel frustrated. Have they given you any indication at all of how long you will have to wait for the biopsy results?

I had my acupuncture appt today and it went well. She said my bloods seem much healthier than a fortnight ago and I am making progress (blimey, it must be the work of the chinese herbs because my 2 nights off the wine can't have been THAT miraculous). She balked slightly when I said we had had a few slip ups and so next week she is going to put me on different medicine which I can take until 12 weeks of pregnancy JUST IN CASE. Freelance I asked if acupuncture was good for thyroid antibodies and do you know what? She said 'hmmm, thyroid antibodies?' But I don't think she had a clue what I was on about. Clearly nobody in the world knows about them! I think right now this thread might actually be the world leading experts on them . Finally, a way to make our fortune. She did say, however that acupuncture can help with the thyroid in pre conception. She then started on about kidneys and bloods in the kidneys and yin and yan but she was tapping a few needles into my forehead and I zoned out. She did say that she could recommend an acupuncturist in Blackheath. She's going to email it to me later so I can forward it.

I have realised that whenever I refer to us as 'we' it sounds like we're one big giant mad family .

Hello again -
Everyone - thank you all so much for welcoming me and being so lovely. All of your kind words made me feel so special and I was genuinely touched by such a surge of love and hugs.
blue thank you for the thyroid antibody article. I am indeed going to address this with my obgyn when/if we do give 'it' another go.. I must admit it has now got me thinking about my MMC. I am so sorry for your loss Blue. It made me cry and cry reading it. Relieved you're coming through the initial shock of it all and feel closer to you somehow.. Like yourself I didn't see my baby, I couldn't was in such a state physically and emotionally and I can barely live with myself for that. Tell me the guilt gets easier?
Onto a slightly more positive note, Freelance I'm so glad your scan was bearable and nice to hear that our bodies get back to business so quickly after what has happened. Re your period I believe it may still be later than usual even tho you have ovulated? And hopefully the blood clot will go when that eventually happens...
diamonds HI- so sorry you're going thru all this. Just re your query re medical miscarriage... UM my situ was very different but I had both the suppositary and then the d n c (under general) is that the same as ERPC (i'm not sure).... I was 16 weeks so had to go down delivery route but re the supposiatry that supposedly softens and opens the cervix - you don't need to fully dilate so no its not full on labour. I have to admit I found the contractions pretty strong tho (have had two drug free labours with my beautiful girls so kind of kmnow what am talking about at least here!!) I think you'll find in your situ that the nurses will keep you dosed up with pain relief though.. Re the d n c the risks surrounding that procedure I think is far outweighed by the risk of infection... (at least that is what I was told)... I had no choice but to go down this route so maybe my advice is a bit off.. Maybe one of the other lovely ladies can help...
Sorry to whitter!!! Supper is burning must go.. Lots of caring thoughts to all..

hiya Blue I've just read your account of your horrible expereince and found it very moving, love to you.
My main motivation for the ERPC was that I was terrified of seeing my baby, even when the Doctors were strenuously attempting to talk me out of it I was absolutely adamant, so please don't feel guilty, you are most certainly not alone.
I had the suppository and then the erpc under a general like you, although my surgery was delayed by 9 hours so I did end up on morphine. The risks before 9 weeks apparently are minimal, it's after this time as of course the uterus has increased in size and therefore softened and become easier to damage, also the pregnancy is much larger which apparently can increase the risk of damage to the cervix. This is what they told me anyway, I told them, that they could tell me they'd have to chop my head off and sew it back on, it was still what I wanted. God I'm rambling on again, I'm like this in real life too, you can't shut me up with a spade!

Wow Really I should try this accupuncture, you're the second person I've heard this week raving about it. I like your big mad family thing. One big mad ex nazi nun family...Quite an image

and apologies for not keeping up with everyone, I'm trying I promise

Hello really, interesting Acupuncture Review. Glad she has put you on slightly different meds if her reaction seemed to think you wouldn't be ok on the others! Funny that she didn't know anything about the antibodies. Thanks for asking for me anyway. Yes we should package ourselves as a team of experts. We could dole out leaflets outside supermarkets, especially to the chubbier shoppers who look like they might have untreated thyroid problems :) )

I think we are ne big giant mad family, one big giant bleeding, cramping, confused, drinking, weeing on stick family but a family nevertheless :) (cue more excessive use of smilies).

They didn't check my hcg levels but then they never have done!! I got a BFN a week last friday so am pretty sure anything 'active' has gone. They did say that what they could see was brown so was not new blood but just old retained products or even a clot. Have just remembered actually that the scan lady asked if I have ever been diagnosed with fibroids but then seemed to move on think it was a clot/retained products. Must remember that just in case. I think you are right desert that my period will be later than usual. I feel rather premenstrual now - almost ate the whole fridge earlier and my tummy is SO bloated. I've been moaning about that for days now though haven't I.

Big I can't believe you are still waiting biopsy results! Actually I can believe it given the crapness (I made that word up) of a lot of the people we are dealing with in terms of mc management. Frustrating though.

I too found contractions very strong desert and I wasn't nearly as far along as you were. I was 12 weeks but it had died at around 7. But I have heard that sometimes contractions in a mc can be as bad or worse that those at full term as there's very little to contract against. Mine were coming every 3 minutes at one stage. I can't begin to imagine how awful it must have been for you and the other later mcs on here. It's such a worry isn't it, I can't imagine ever having a pg when I will feel remotely relaxed until a baby is sitting at my table throwing regurgitated food at me and demanding a pony for xmas.

Something else has cropped up with me now and I might need your advice ladies if you have any thoughts on this: I had an email conversation with a midwife at one of the testing centres have been referred to and she said please, please (twice!) don't ttc until you have started to see us as you will need to be on steroids to have a good chance of addressing the thyroid antibodies. Waiting lists are between 4-6 months!!!! Not sure what to do. Had made the decision earlier to risk a mc and ttc again after af but they seem to really think I shouldn't.

Choices are: Wait as they say, get treatment and trust that their 85% success rates hold for me too. But get frustrated from waiting, worried about age, worry about not using that supposed post-mc fertility boost and also worried I will next time find it harder to conceive.

Don't wait and risk another mc as am not being treated properly and have 50% chance of one.

I guess there are some pros of waiting: Get to drink and go out and not feel sick and tired, get to feel a bit more positive that next time it might work, get to not panic about another mc for a few months... even get to have (travelling hopefully) a baby more towards spring than summer...But the cons are pretty miserable too.

So confusing.

Sorry I mean more towards spring than winter.

Hifree- wow so interesting about your midwife conversation re antib's. I don't know if this helps but my antibodies have been high since I had a very brief hyperactive thyroid about 10 years ago. My first 2 pregnancies couldn't have been any better! They were textbook perfect (as are my 2 girls aged 14 months and 3!! :) So thats something to think about. According to my doc we lost bubba number 3 at 16 weeks due to an awful flu virus I'd contracted that week and was very pooorly (apparantly only 2 strains of flu pass across the placenta)... As I've said before no mention of the old anti bodies... I don't know blue, just wanted to tell you i've had 2 great pregnancies even with high high counts...... Hope it helps a bit?!? And for what it is worth I'm gonna give myself a couple of cycles then think about trying again anti-b's and all.. Although am going to take selenium this time round.....(thanks for that tip)x

Hi everyone, getting strength from you all, thank you. I've just had my 3rd in a row mc since my daughter and 4th mc in total and think im ok then realise I'm really not. Feeling quite isolated as despite sharing with a few close friends everyone I know is knocking out number 2 with no problem and so don't really understand. I was in denial that I had a problem but now realising there must me something. I'm so broody and depressed, I want to be positive and get on with it but then find myself in tears. I also feel guilty as I have a beautiful and wonderful little girl so i'm really blessed. so greedy to want more?

Yes desert that also makes me feel a bit more positive. I COULD of course just go for it and see.

However... just 'chatting' on the recurrent buns thread and two of the ladies there have said they got a private appt with the same doctor within 4 or 6 weeks. I am beginning to think the lady sending me the email - who was very lovely and informative but seemed to be bashing it out quite quickly from the writing - might have meant 4-6 WEEKS. Am hoping that's the case. I heard before it was about 10 weeks for NHS so it might be looking a bit more rosey.

It's one thing after another. Highs, lows, highs, lows this bloody mc/ttc process isn't it!

If you know you have high antibodies already Desert and have indeed had two dcs since that is very good and I hope it means your antibodies had nothing to do with your recent mc and it was indeed that awful flu. How terribly sad. I guess it is sad all round really.

But yes, selenium and vitamin D is good too. The lady from the clinic said 25mcg of Vit D daily and I have read online from various sources that 200mcg of selenium is the best dose. The clinic lady also said 75mgs of aspirin (but I know caution is advised with that in some cases), Pregnacare (I am taking Sanatogen, don't know if that's good too but if she says so I might switch!) and Omega 3.

I am making a long list of supplements!! - am only taking folic acid at the moment.

Do you think it might be worth taking selenium and Vit D too, even without knowing if I have high thyroid antibodies?? Can't hurt, can it?

Freelance I can completely understand the pickle you are in at the moment. Is it possible to phone the clinic and ask how long it's likely to take for the appointment to come through? 4-6 weeks is nothing really, but 4-6 months is a different story. It is hard.
Did you conceive quickly with the pregnancy you have just lost?

Desertmummy I have to say the guilt is getting easier, but only recently.
I still regret not seeing/holding our little boy but I know nothing I can do will change the way it happened so I'm trying not to dwell on it. I have no doubt in my mind that it was how I felt at the time and what helped me get through that day. We have his hand and footprints (so tiny - his hand-print is the size of my thumbnail) and I am putting together a memory box with some bits and bobs. We only recently found out that he was a boy - at our follow-up appointment with the consultant (5 months later!!), and that made it seem more real in a way. Its almost 6 months now since we lost him and it really has changed me - and not in good ways either! I'm much more angry and intolerant than I used to be. Has anyone else found that? At first I thought it was hormones but now I think I'm just a bitch!
But thank-you for reading my other thread, and bigflipflop. I can't believe its almost 6 months ago now.

Dearest one big mad ex nazi nun giant bleeding, cramping, confused, drinking, weeing on stick family

Id Welcome to the thread, am so sorry to hear of your losses. You aren't alone, there are a few of us on this thread before who have children already who would love another one (and maybe another one after that) - it's not being greedy at all. There's all sorts of support here so stick around. I hope you are being looked after in RL, 3 mcs in a row must be very, very tough, physically and emotionally. May I ask when you had your m/c?

Free Interesting (IMHO, maybe the rest of you are already snoring), I was just checking out these vitamins by Fertility guru lady - can't quite remember her claim to fame - Zita West

www.zitawest.com/product_details.php?id=29&section=6

Anyway, her vitamins have a pretty high dose of selenium in them - 150mcg. So much higher than the pregnacare pack. Might be worth a try, although they do cost the same as a small dog.

Big Don't worry about keeping up, it is still v soon after your ERPC and your brain must be all over the place. Happy to repeat anything you have forgotten (any excuse for us all to witter on)

in the style of The Waltons Goodnight Freelance, Goodnight Big, Goodnight IC, Goodnight Desert, Goodnight Id and all the rest of the family xxxxxx

Freelance When I said interesting, I was being sarcastic about what I was looking at, not what you were talking about, I realised it sounded rude! .

Idliketobebythesea - you are definitely not greedy to want more.
But I know what you mean, I feel the same sometimes (I have two boys already).
Four miscarriaiges must be taking its toll - have you been referred for testing?

I've only just noticed the your post Idliketobebythesea. Hello Sea and a huge welcome/commiseration's for being here. Sorry I missed you earlier - crossed posts and me being a bit distracted. Of course you are going to feel miserable, I really hope you start to feel a bit better soon. You are entitled to feel low after having 3 mcs in a row and 4 in total. It's a bloody awful thing to happen and s physically and emotionally draining. Feel free to use us all to vent as most of us find it is easier to talk here to people who can understand.

Are they doing any tests? You need to push for some if not. You will be eligible for some as you have recurrent mcs. Do make sure your doctor takes you seriously. Plenty of people on here already have DCs and that doesn't take away from any of the pain or make you greedy at all.

Hi Blue, Definitely Selenium and Vitamin D as they aid fertility as well I think. Aspirin I would say do a bit more research on as there are good aspects and not so good aspects of this I think. Watch Vit D if you are taking a multi pg supplement - mine already has some in it so I am just taking a bit more to add this up to 25mcg as recommended by the clinic.

Said clinic lady is now away for a week but yes I will definitely find out more about the waiting list asap. Does anyone have any experience with going private first and then changing to NHS once referral has come through? Might ask on the recurrent buns board.

Blue I still can't get my head around what you and some of the later loss people have gone through too.

Funny - have you heard rumours about boys being rejected more than girls? I read something or heard something about this as they are more of a 'foreign body' than girls. I don't know a lot about it though and not sure what we could do about it anyway.

I am definitely more angry and intolerant! I get frustrated too quite easily with small things. I thought it was the hormones but maybe I am just a bitch too :) AM hoping my period is due though so that might explain it. And hopefully the bloated stomach and the urge to swallow the fridge whole.

Sorry Really crossed posts again. Or should I call you JimBob...? We are the big mad ex nazi nun giant bleeding, cramping, confused, drinking, weeing on stick family 2011 version of the Walton's. It would make a great series!

Aww, don't go to bed. Otherwise it's just me obsessively checking for updates and chatting up Dr Google until at least midnight.

Vitamins do look interesting I agree! Well, to me anyway.... zzzzzz... no really... :)

There isn't selenium in my current Sanatogen ones but haven't checked Pregnacare. I am taking separate selenium tablets at 200mcg dose. Dr Google told me to so I am doing it. Lets hope Dr Google doesn't tell me to stick my hand in a fire.

Where did you get your selenium tablets from freelance?

Holland and Barrett! They do they in 50mcg and 100. I went for 50 but then realised I needed to take 200 a day and have to swallow four tablets so will be going for the larger ones next time. I have vit D 3 too from H&B as well.

Interesting what you say about boys being rejected more than girls. Havn't heard that before.
After my 2nd loss my mum suggested that maybe I was unable to carry girls, but this was ruled out when we found out we had lost a boy.
But I did a bit of research on it and although not scientifically proven, it does seem that there may be something in it.

The whole process fascinates me. When I look at my two boys, I think how amazing it is that they are actually here.