What would you do? Pls help

[Beesok]

Hi everyone, it is really painful for me to join this thread but I am really confused and need some help/advice.

I just found out yesterday that I have a blighted ovum (it's my first pregnancy and I am 6+2 weeks). The doctor said she can see a sac but no yolk sac or fetus and expects me to miscarry within next few weeks. She told me all my options but I felt like she suggested to wait it out to happen naturally.

Obviously I am extremely upset and yesterday after talking to my hubby we decided to let things happen naturally. Today I woke up with minor period like cramps but still no bleeding (I haven't had a single drop of blood since my last period in September).
After reading on the Internet I saw that it took some women weeks to miscarry naturally...I am scared of my emotional state if I wait for weeks and weeks (won't be able to move on until it happens) am just seeking advice from people who went through this? Did you wait or is it better to get a D&C?

BTW The doctore is def off in timing my pregnancy - the report said I am 8 weeks but there is no way that can be true (otherwise I would have been on my period and pregnant!) I am not more than 6 weeks +/- few days....not sure if that means I'll have to wait longer for it to happen...

Thanks in advance for your help

Hi Everybody,

I've just come here to say goodbye, and a huge thankyou to everyone for helping me to get through the last 3 weeks (seems like so much longer). Yellowtomato I'm sorry to see another familiar name on this thread - so many of us, seems like there mustn't be many left in the Jue in June group.

I'm finally feeling normal again, the bleeding has practically stopped, and I feel it's time for me to move on, concentrate on my son and the wonderful things in my real life. Psychologically I seem to have come through unscathed, I don't feel awkward or resentful among pregnant people or babies (good job as about 80% of my friends are preg or have newborns!). So I'm going to have a few weeks break from Mumsnet.

I'm really grateful for all the support and advice you've all given me, both on the Jue in June threads and this one. I'm sorry we've all had to go through this, and wish you all the best for the future, whatever your plans. And I look forward to seeing some of your names on the due in September, October, November......whatever threads!!!

Take care everybody!!!

Am having a v long day, no food today or water since 11am. It does seem v scary when they are talking about all the risks but apparently they have to tell you worst case outcomes. Will have pessary at 2 then op probably at 3.30. Feeling quite scared at the mo but not too long to go now.

Will update with full details after

Good luck yellowtomato thinking of you.

Bye cuppatea it's lovely to hear that you're ready to 'fly the nest', I can't wait to get there too. All the very best.

I just got back from my appointment and feel worse than I did before! The scan showed that everything is still there (despite my bleeding and cramping since yesterday) and he wants me to wait another week until I go back (unless an emergency happens). I can't bear the thought of another week of this. I'm bleeding, cramping and feeling rubbish

How is everyone else?

Poor you meltobe so difficult to be in limbo especially with cramps and bleeding to. Were you given any other options apart from wait and see?
It is so hard to wait, such agony. Am thinking of you.

Hi Ladies
meltobe after my bleeding and pain easing off yesterday it is now back with a vengeance today and I feel worse today too. Very hormonal.
yellowtomato so sorry to see you here too, hope they managed to get the majority of it for you so you can be over with like CuppaTeaJanice. Farewell to you and hope to see you on a positive post 12 week thread soon, if that is what you choose to do.
beesock, star, issy, wonnay and nurse hope you are all bearing up today and looking to the future.
supersunny thanks for "keeping in " with us and I hope your PG is still progressing nicely and will continue to do so.

As for me I am trying to replace my mumsnet ttc/due in and now miscarriage forums obsession with holiday and florida trip planning forums. Hoping to go in febuary then start trying again although after all this I feel I will have to convince DH again. He hates situations he has no control over and didnt enjoy the pregnancy/ baby stages of our 2 DC's at all, although he now loves the constantly playing with stage now and is an amazing dad.
xxxx
xxxx

cuppa sorry to hear that you're leaving us but I am happy for you! Thank you for your support too and I wish you all the best and who knows we might bump into each other on a another merrier thread on Mumsnet ;)

yellow hope today went well and that you will get some well deserved rest and pampering over the weekend.

meltobe welcome to the limbo lounge :( I started cramping last night and was expecting/hoping to wake up with something going on - nothing yet :(

hope the rest of you are OK and having a relatively good day :)

I actually had a looooong day at work and there is so much I need to do I hardly have time to think about anything which is good :)

brought good luck with planning your trip - I am taking two weeks off for Christmas and thinking of going somewhere warm too:)

Just a quick update:

The scan this morning confirmed there wasn't a viable pregnancy: still no fetal pole seen at what should be 7.5-8.5w and very slow growth of the gestational sac over the past two weeks.

If I felt very sick or had any other pregnancy symptoms I'd be holding out for another week ut the nausea has lessen ed over the past week and last night I felt totally 'normal'.

So I'm booked in for an ERPC on Tuesday an thankfully can stop taking the suppositories for the RCT I'm on (I think I've got the progesterone and that's what has keep the growth and nausea going as long as it has). Hopefully I'll get my next period around Christmas and can start trying again in January. Might yet manage a 2011 baby...

Hi everyone. Just checking in.
Still no change at the moment. The brown blood loss/discharge stopped overnight and i've had nothing all day. Have just noticed a small amount a little while ago but nothing to get 'excited' about. Was really hoping something would happen today to get me out of this operation on Sunday .
Keeping busy tomorrow. Going to watch a sporting event with the kids tomorrow which will probably be a 3 hour drive there and the same back.........at least that will kill a few hours for me so i don't start fretting.
Thinking of you all x

Oh i am sorry Issy. It's all so horrible :(.
The only thing i am glad about is that this was picked up so early for me. With me having no symptoms of miscarriage and continuing with pregnancy symptoms, this may not have been picked up until 12 weeks which i would have found so much harder to deal with. It's been bad enough at this stage as number 3 meant looking into new cars, bigger house etc so a lot of things had already been planned. Goodness knows how many plans we'd have made in another 4 weeks.

Issy and Star hang in there - it's sad but a step in the right direction. Like issy am hoping to schedule my ERPC soon and start trying in January, I know what I will be wishing for on New Year's Eve!

Hi everyone - sorry to have been off the radar for a wee while. All "ok" here, just haven't had a chance to sit in front of the laptop and read through everything properly and reply.

yellowtomato - so sorry to hear that you have found yourself here as well and I do hope that today's ERPC is as smooth as possible. While I'm sure we all wish we weren't on this thread, it's been an invaluable support at this sad time and as you can see, we've managed to have some laughs along the way and it was great to read that janice feels ready to move on.

beesok - I'm sorry that your scan showed what it did - the reality of it is hard and I'm impressed with your bravery to go by yourself.

issy - sorry for your scan result too. Your resilience is admirable and yes, let's see if we can't all manage 2011 full term healthy bundles of joy

brought - I think the idea of holiday planning is an excellent one and I do hope that you and DH and your DCs enjoy every second of it.

meltobe - have you had any "progress" today either with your body or getting some medical attention sooner? It really is a rubbish time and not having control over things does seem to make it much harder.

ERPC is scheduled for 10.30am tomorrow (6.30 UK time) and I'm having ups and downs about it. Up that things are moving on and down with the realisation things have really finished. DH and I have managed to get some time to talk in more detail about it all which I have found really helpful. Dropping mum and dad back to the airport in a few hours and have definitely enjoyed my last couple of days with them more after initially finding their concern too hard to bear. I reminded myself that they are v sad too.

Well, I hope you all manage today as best as you all can - I think of you all and thank you for being a great support at this difficult time.

xx

Hi all

Just a quick update to let you know that I'm all done, semi naturally in the end. I went from limbo 2 days ago to finally getting some bleeding and cramping. Yesterday I was really fed up as I'd been back to the OB and he wanted me to keep waiting as it looked like it might be starting but he did a scan and it was all still there and hadn't budged a bit. During the night I had such heavy bleeding and cramps that I paged the OB and ended up going to hospital. They administered the drugs to speed things along but before they took effect the OB had a look and saw that the tissue was blocked so he removed the whole thing. I saw it and it didn't look like 'anything' really, which was a relief. I felt almost instantly better - I then spent the next few hours feeling mellow on pethadene and am now home. I feel shattered and empty but this really feels like the start of getting better now. I have no idea about whether I can bear to get pregnant again but we'll see. I know a few others of you who are waiting to see what happens naturally - I echo cuppateajanice who had said a while ago that if the bleeding seems too heavy or you're feeling faint, don't wait at home as if there's a blockage it might not be able to remedy itself. I was worried that I wouldn't know what 'too heavy' meant but when it happened I knew - it was heavier than a heavy period and that was my benchmark.

I'm going to stay on here for a while to see how you're all doing but planning to start easing back into real life too. I've tried to do one thing a day to try to make myself happy this week - I recommend it. It's not always easy as there were days when I just wanted to stay at home but even it it's something tiny it's really important to be kind to ourselves.

Hey meltobe - gosh, what a time for you.... sounds like you were very sensible and it really helps to read your post and hear some good advice so thanks for sharing. I'm really glad to hear that you feel that things will start to get better. x

Great tip also re: doing one thing to make yourself happy. Today, I have done more than one thing - purchased a new bikini this morning and am heading off to beauticians shortly for bikini and eyebrow wax, haircut and pedicure (was all booked in anyway before this all started) - I don't think the OB will have had such a dolled up patient before!

Hi everyone

I just thought I'd pop in to let you know how it went; it was fine.

The waiting was probably the worst bit, my DP had to go to work so I was admitted at 9am but didn't go down until 4.30pm. I was back up on the ward by about 6pm and discharged at 8.

I felt very scared being wheeled down to theatre but all the staff were lovely. In the anti room they put in the drip and oxygen mask over my face then the next thing I come round and it's all done. Nurse is watching me and taking blood pressure. So I wasn't aware of the breathing tube going in or out!

I was crying when I came round but that might have been partly the effect of the anesthetic.

My DP was there when I got back and they gave me water to sip and then tea and toast. I felt fine and could eat them straight away. I took about 3 pints of water before I could wee(!) but then they gave me more anti-biotics and left!

When I first came round I had quite bad period pains and backache, they'd explained that this is because they give pain medication but cos the op is so quick it doesn't have time to work before you come round. Within and hour it was a much more manageable level.

Today I have only very slight pain and very slight bleeding. I feel a bit tired and a bit fragile but that is about it.

To be honest it all happened so quickly that I'm not sure it has had a chance to sink in.

If anyone wants more detail about the procedure or anything please just ask.

meltobe doing positive things everyday sounds like a great plan. I have a big empty diary as I was avoiding friends until 12 weeks so I am going to try to fill that up a little bit now.

wonny I hope it all went well for you today.

Right am going to do a facepack and my nails and lay on the sofa watching crap tv/film.

Hi yellowtomato and glad to hear that you are feeling ok physically now. Thanks for the info on the procedure - I'm lapping up every extra bit of info I can get my hands on so it's really helpful. I do hope that you enjoyed your sofa / beauty time and that you are doing as ok as you can emotionally too.

I have 2.5 hours before I "fast" and then op at 10.30 tomorrow morning - hope I sleep ok.....

Hope the rest of you ladies are doing ok too.

Good luck for tomorrow Wombat. I'm in at 8.30am but could be a lot later in the day than that. Just having a massive cuppa tea before the midnight fasting begins.

Yellowtomato and meltobe I'm glad you were happy with how your options went. I'm really scared about the actual process of being given the general anaesthetic. I've no idea how they do it and what happens. So scared really.

I'm hoping tomorrow goes well and will keep you updated. xx

Hi Star and good luck to you too.

If it helps to put your mind at rest about the GA, from memory from about 16 years ago, they put an injection in your hand and then ask you to count to 3 and before you even get to 3, you're out. It is a scary thought, I agree. The anaethsatists (sorry for spelling - can never get that right) are incredibly well trained (I think they have to train an extra 3 years on top of normal medical doctor training) and the op itself is really short I'm told. I remember waking up last time and my legs couldn't stop shaking which apparently is one side effect.

Thinking of you and looking forward to hearing how you got on later or tomorrow x

star and wonny Thinking of you both today xxxx

star and wonny hope today goes well for you both.

star and wonny hope you're OK

mel and yellow I'm glad you're recovering well and that it's finally over - I think all of us just want to move on now and the sooner the better.

I don't feel pregnant at all now, went out last night and had a few drinks - guilt free! - the friends we were with didn't know about the pregnancy or the mc so it was nice to be able to forget about everything for a while.

Now all I want to think about is when to schedule the op and am hoping things will go back to normal soon. I am still hoping for a 2011 baby but at the same am anxious about future pregnancies - I guess that what it's going to be, it's different after an experience like this :(

will let you know when my op is and hope you all have a nice relaxing Sunday!

I've had pessary a bit ago so should be due to go down by half past....eek!!!
Really hope everyones ok and you are ok too wombat. You should be out about now ish so hope it went well.
Excuse my language but I am shitting myself about this!!! :) (nervous smile though) x

Still not gone down....the waitings horrible....

Thinking of you both star and wonnay, all the very best x

Came round about 5 and back in my little room now. Just eaten and don't feel sick. Not sure whether nausea will kick in later but at the moment I feel ok. :) xx

Good girl star do something tomorrow that you like, it was chocolate , cheese and wine for me. xxxx