What would you do? Pls help

[Beesok]

Hi everyone, it is really painful for me to join this thread but I am really confused and need some help/advice.

I just found out yesterday that I have a blighted ovum (it's my first pregnancy and I am 6+2 weeks). The doctor said she can see a sac but no yolk sac or fetus and expects me to miscarry within next few weeks. She told me all my options but I felt like she suggested to wait it out to happen naturally.

Obviously I am extremely upset and yesterday after talking to my hubby we decided to let things happen naturally. Today I woke up with minor period like cramps but still no bleeding (I haven't had a single drop of blood since my last period in September).
After reading on the Internet I saw that it took some women weeks to miscarry naturally...I am scared of my emotional state if I wait for weeks and weeks (won't be able to move on until it happens) am just seeking advice from people who went through this? Did you wait or is it better to get a D&C?

BTW The doctore is def off in timing my pregnancy - the report said I am 8 weeks but there is no way that can be true (otherwise I would have been on my period and pregnant!) I am not more than 6 weeks +/- few days....not sure if that means I'll have to wait longer for it to happen...

Thanks in advance for your help

I was ok sunny. Wouldn't have dreamed of going in on my own if i actually thought they'd be doing something there and then. I knew the most they'd do was a scan unless i opted for a medically managed m/c, but i don't want that anyway. Mum is off thurs and fri should i need anyone.
If i'm in thursday, how soon do they usually get you in for the procedure?? She said tonight it's usually pretty quick but i didn't want to put her on the spot for how quick, quick was :)

Hi just got my bags packed for tomorrow and sorted out child care for my little one so i can have a few days of rest after the erpc, not looking forward to it but need closure. Thanks for all the warm wishes its so nice to have some support from people who understand hat im going through. Star82 at my appointment today i had a rescan (my third in three weeks) where they confirmed the sac had grown but still no baby i was eight weeks today( i had a scan at eight weeks with my dd and saw her as clear as anything not even an internal scan) so then went up to the EPAU where the nurse and doc talked me through the options, i decided op (had it before and it was over fast and i recovered well) signed consent form and had bloods and she booked my on the am day case list. Pretty straight forward really.

Good luck nurse. Would really like to hear how you get on once you feel up to it. The very best of luck tomorrow and i hope it goes really well, x

Good luck nurse47, I hope everything goes as well as possible. Do let us know.

Star I'm so sorry that you've had to go through this but I'm pleased that you're now in the system. How is your pain today?

I'm still feeling completely in limbo. No signs of anything happening and occasional signs of feeling pregnant. This waiting is making me feel low and I'm starting to feel cross with my body - it wasn't able to stay pregnant and now it won't recognise that I've had a missed miscarriage so it's still acting pregnant and holding on to it. I think if I'm offered the drugs option at my appointment on Sat I'm going to try to miss them and go straight for the ERPC/D&C. Is that what others are planning if it doesn't happen naturally? I know surgery isn't natural either but the thought of drugs making it happen sounds quite aggressive to me and as this week I would be coming up to 11 weeks I'm really anxious about the pain.

Totallyfloaty so sorry to see you on here too. I'm feeling really sad but being on here is helping.

Morning everyone.

Nurse47 - best of luck for today - I'm sure I speak for all of us when I say that we are all thinking of you and wish you as speedy a recovery as possible.

Star - I admire your strong resilience and patience and I do hope that you / NHS are able to put things into some semblance of order - you must feel like you're on a real rollercoaster

Totallyfloaty - so sorry to hear your news too - as meltobe says, it really does help being here

meltobe - I can completely appreciate the limbo feeling - I can't help thinking our bodies are being cruel to us. While the drugs option isn't an option for me (they are illegal here) I don't think I fancy the thought of it anyway and agree with what you're saying. From what I've read, sometimes people need an ERPC anyway as the drugs don't always do everything they're supposed to.

I went for my first proper run in weeks yesterday and it felt good afterwards. I really pushed myself and I think in my weird screwed up thinking kind of way that it might bring things on, but not a peep of anything today....

Nurse will be thinking of you today, hope it goes well and you recover quickly. Let us know how it went!

totally it's sad to see another person join but feel welcomed as you can see we have a pretty great support network here

star I'm glad the NHS are finally sorting things out for you - keep us updated!

mel and wonny I couldn't agree more - I mean, why is my body doing this to me? I get pregnant, for 6 weeks I get used to the idea and pretty much ecstatic about it and know for two weeks am being emotionally shattered but no one is giving me a 100 percent diagnosis and my body seemed to stop reacting - my boobs are a bit sore but so far nothing else - don't feel pregnant but not mc either

I still feel guilty about drinking alcohol or eating sushi - it's so weird :(

As much as I was hopeful last week that the doctors were wrong now I just want my body to give a definite sign and move on.....

totallyfloaty sorry you've had to join us. the dizziness could be fromt he blood loss, but also the stress. try and get some iron rich foods in you.

nurse all the best for the ERPC. i've always found then very easy to recover from physically - I hope it is the same is for you.

star glad the epu have sorted themselves out (and good on your GP for getting you in so quickly yesterday)

Beesok I know what you mean about guilt. I still can't bring myself to eat non-preggie food. My next scan is on spouse's birthday so yesterday I contented myself working out which pub we could go to to celebrate his birthday/commiserate the mc afterwards.

Hay ho. Still feeling vaguely 'not right' but def. Not pregnant ether. this is certainly the most draw out of all my mc so far - at least with the others the diagnosis was immediate even if the mc happened later on. Just wish I knew one way or the other...

Hope the op has gone well nurse, thinking about you.

How are you feeling today Totally?

Beesok, i've not touched any wine to be honest as it feels weird to. I did mention it to DH and he felt he didn't want me to until after the op either. At the end of the day, we are still pregnant even if the baby has stopped developing so go easy on yourself. Everything will be strange and confusing until we have closure on this sad episode.

Thank you Wombat :). Funny enough, i've not been running since i moved up here back in August and then caught pregnant so it sort of got brushed aside. I can't wait to get back into it and to get some gym work in. Could do with shifting the few pounds i had started to put on.....

Thanks Supersunny :). I hope they can get me in quickly. It sounds really bad but i have a hair appointment on friday so hoping it's not the next day from the scan. I was looking forwards to that and thought it would make me feel a bit better on the outside and i'm also going from dark brown, back to blonde. I wont get in until after christmas if i don't make this one as they are fully booked. DH has work on Saturday which he'll not be able to get out of so could really do with Sunday or Monday. Do they do this op on a weekend???

Period pains have stopped which i'm a bit :( about as was hoping that if a m/c is inevitable, i just want it over with. Still have massive tender boobs. I thought that symptoms would have stopped or at least eased off.

I am in shock, I have just had the most horrific experience of my life. After bleeding for 6 days, my hcg levels had increased slightly so I had to go over for a scan. I had spent all weekend greiving for the baby.
Today they found a heartbeat, I didnt believe them got them to check again. It was definately there and strong. measuring 7+4 a week less than my dates. So im congratulated and elated and told all is fine.
An hour later I went to the toilet and there was a gush and the whole thing came. All totally in one peice plecenta attatched to sac with baby inside. I could see it in great detail. Is it possible the internal scan dislodged it?
To shocked to even cry at the moment.

Oh broughthimround - what a dreadful experience for you - I'm so, so sorry. It seems crazy. I really don't think the internal scan could have done it, but I'm no expert. Could you go back and tell the hospital what has happened? Thinking of you lots and lots.

Oh broughthimround - what a dreadful experience for you - I'm so, so sorry. It seems crazy. I really don't think the internal scan could have done it, but I'm no expert. Could you go back and tell the hospital what has happened? Thinking of you lots and lots.

I can't stop thinking about you broughthim round. Is there someone with you to look after you? Do you have a number of an ob/gyn you could call? Wish I could give some more helpful info - do you feel like posting a new thread on this forum to see if anyone else has had similar experience?

broughthimround I can't believe the rolloercoaster you've had to go through this afternoon. You have my complete and utter deepest sympathy.

But don't beat yourself up. There is no way that the internal scan could have dislodged a safe and stable pregnancy. If it was going to go, it was going to go. If it was going to stay then it would have stayed. Placental abruption can happen suddenly and spontaneously through pregnancy. Internal scans are not invasive unlike a proceedure such as amnio which can cause mc.

Take care and lots of hugs.

I'm so sorry to hear what has happened to you this afternoon. As i was reading it, i had gotton all excited and couldn't believe that at least one of us had a little miracle baby. I then finished reading the paragraph and couldn't believe it :(. This is absolutely awful......such a cruel thing to have happened to you when you'd just got your head around the fact you had lost the baby. I don't know what to say, i'm in shock so can't imagine how you feel.
Take lots of care and as Wombat mentioned, it may be useful to post another thread on this. I don't think it will have affected it but it may put your mind at rest if people have experiences to share.

brought how absolutely devastating!! :( like star I was reading it all excited hoping that one of us got lucky and boom - I mean how cruel is that? I am so so so sorry and I hope that you are somehow coping with this.

I must agree with the rest - don't be harsh on yourself that scan had nothing to do with what happened, I haven't heard of any risks involving internal scans so please don't even think that way.

Sending you big hugs and really hoping you are OK

Thanks so much Ladies, I called the epu straight away when it happened and they said I needed to come straight in and bring ..... with me. They couldn't believe it either, It was the same midwife as had given me the positive news earlier.
I had to wait a little while while I got the kids organised with someone to sit for them then DH and I went back. They were really lovely. It hadn't sunk in that the pregnancy was ok anyway, as was just 50 minutes after the scan, but it was just such a shock. Just there one minute gone the next.
I asked them if the scan could have had anything to do with it, and they said not. I know in my heart I had already lost so much blood there is no way the poor thing could have survived but he did cling on for 6 days since the bleeding started. I guess I should be grateful I got to see him.
I brought him home with me as I couldnt bring myself to give him up to a mass cremation after I had already held him in my hand, so am going to get a plant tomorrow so he can still be with us.
Having some duvet days it hasn't hit me yet.

How did you ladies get on today?
xxxx

Hi Brought. I've scared myself with the op now. Spent too much time researching Ashermans Syndrome and the actual ERPC procedure and having seen one now, it's mjade it seem more real. I may jmust let it take it's course now.
I'm really sorry if this comes across insensitive as i don't mean it to, but how did you preserve the baby? Did you lose it on a pad? I think i'd like to see it but worried it will get lost in the toilet. Thank you.
I think a plant sounds perfect :) x

Brought I'm so terribly sorry. I too got really excited for you and then couldn't believe what had happened. What we're all going through at the moment is trauma enough but to have that hope then to have it taken away is too much. I hope you're really being looked after. Take all the duvet days you can, don't forget to eat even if you don't feel like it.

I was also wondering about the invasiveness of internal scans but I think I was just trying to put a reason onto something inexplicable.

Getting a plant is a lovely thing to do.

Take good care, we're all thinking of you.

Thinking of nurse and totally. How are you getting on?

Hi brought and gentle and caring thoughts winging their way to you today. I was relieved to read that the EPU saw you straight away again and I think that a plant for him is a lovely idea. Please do look after yourself and take all the time you need. Thinking of you lots. x

Morning to everyone. I hope you are doing ok after such heart-wrenching news from brought yesterday - I think it highlights just what an extraordinary, stressful and saddening time this is for us all.

Nurse and totally - thinking of you both too.

Star - the ERPC does sound a little scary for those of us facing it the first time. I believe it is now a very routine op for those performing it and the NHS info I have read says that Ashermans is only likely in 1% of cases. However, we can offer all the facts and stats available and we may well still struggle with the idea. Would you have a chance to speak to your health care professional in the next couple of days to get some reassurance from them?

I am definitely booked in for the ERPC on Sun at 10.30 and my lovely ob/gyn is due to be on leave but has said she will come in to do it anyway - I'm so grateful to her. I then have the long holiday weekend (tues to sat) to recover.

Beesok, meltobe and issy - how are you all doing today?

supersunny - thanks for all your words of support too- it's very selfless of you to help us on this thread. I hope things are progressing well for you x

I'm having a sitting around moping day. I'd not heard of Ashermans. The thing is, I'm fed up with statistics. After all, I heard that once you'd seen your baby's heartbeat that the chance of miscarriage became teeny weeny but that's just happened to me. Then for brought to go through what she just has must be virtually unheard of statistically. Yet it seems to happen to lots of us and it just royally sucks. Sorry, I'm on a downer but it just feels so unfair that we're not on Jue in June anymore with so much to look forward to.

My next OB appointment has moved to Friday so I'm hoping to be able to arrange my ERPC asap too. Wonnay I hope you're feeling as ok as you can in preparation for yours. I still don't have any indication of anything happening naturally...

I went off sweet things when I had more pregnancy symptoms floating around but now have a fancying for sweet things, so I'm off out to get something unhealthy and tasty

Thanks meltobe - I agree re: the stats - they seem so unreliable and quite frankly irrelevant right now when we are the ones that are actually going through it.
In many ways, I am looking forward to sunday afternoon when at least there will be some closure - this limbo period is so cr*p and like you, I don't have any indications of anything other than the ocassional cramp. It is desperately unfair and I'm finding the sight of pregnant women just so hard. Is anyone else finding this?

I am due at a birthday lunch today and a separate celebratory dinner tonight which is v bad timing - I thought having things to distract me would be a good idea, but I'm finding the thought of putting on a happy face just exhausting. I feel I'm having to do it at home too with my parents' last few days here on hols, stepson who lives with us who doesn't know and DH having difficult issues at work too (but he is still being lovely). There is light at the end of the tunnel - parents will be leaving on Sat and stepson back to his mum's... cannot wait to have the place to ourselves again. I know I sound horribly ungrateful and should be pleased that my parents are here for support, but I just want me and DH to deal with our grief by ourselves right now.

Sorry for downer post. Might take meltobe's example and head off for something unhealthy... chocolate eclair anyone?