What would you do? Pls help

[Beesok]

Hi everyone, it is really painful for me to join this thread but I am really confused and need some help/advice.

I just found out yesterday that I have a blighted ovum (it's my first pregnancy and I am 6+2 weeks). The doctor said she can see a sac but no yolk sac or fetus and expects me to miscarry within next few weeks. She told me all my options but I felt like she suggested to wait it out to happen naturally.

Obviously I am extremely upset and yesterday after talking to my hubby we decided to let things happen naturally. Today I woke up with minor period like cramps but still no bleeding (I haven't had a single drop of blood since my last period in September).
After reading on the Internet I saw that it took some women weeks to miscarry naturally...I am scared of my emotional state if I wait for weeks and weeks (won't be able to move on until it happens) am just seeking advice from people who went through this? Did you wait or is it better to get a D&C?

BTW The doctore is def off in timing my pregnancy - the report said I am 8 weeks but there is no way that can be true (otherwise I would have been on my period and pregnant!) I am not more than 6 weeks +/- few days....not sure if that means I'll have to wait longer for it to happen...

Thanks in advance for your help

:) Well we stopped off for a takeaway on the way home and Mum came bearing gifts of chocolate and flowers. Have a bottle sat in the kitchen i was going to have a glass of but may leave that until tomorrow night.
Feel more or less fine. Legs a little heavy and have odd moments where my head feels a bit weird but all normal apparently. Bleeding heavy but manageable. I hate pads so i'm probably making it sound worse than it is. I had a wee before i left the ward but got to say, when i wee it is a bit weird. When i go to let it out, it feels like it might sting/burn but more in my lady bits that my urethra. As soon as the wee comes out, it's fine there. Assume its a bit of tenderness inside as it makes it's way past where they've been today.
Are you ok Wombat?
Beesok. Is it tomorrow you will be at hospital to go through options? Good luck, xx

Star well done for getting through it, I'm glad you're being well looked after. I hate pads too, feels like a reminder of being 14 again. I've been using a hot water bottle for tender bits and it does seem to soothe things.

wonnay I hope you got on ok and are being well looked after.

Issy good luck for tomorrow.

Beesok how are you doing?

I've decided to stop analysing how I'm feeling every day....on the day I finally miscarried I felt better but then awful the next day (yesterday) as it finally felt over and I couldn't stop crying. How's everyone else? Still having up and down days?

Hi all and thanks so much for all your thoughts and wishes.

star - glad to hear you're through the other side and other than tenderness holding up physically. Was your "going under" process ok in the end as I know you were anxious about it?

My day started in a bit of a panic - I was due at the hospital at 9 (for 10.30 op) but then had a call at 8.15 asking where I was as I should have had some gel inserted to soften the cervix....which they hadn't told me about - grrr.... anyway, the hospital is very close so was down there soon and my lovely ob/gyn came to see me, do the gel and talk me through it all including what to expect in the theatre i.e. lots of people and lights etc. which there was - lots of people that is - seemed a bit much for such a short op... anaethsetist was lovely too - v reassuring and professional.

Not sure when I came around as they put you in a separate room and there was no clock but saw DH a couple of hours later who had spoken to the ob/gyn who said all had gone well but there were quite a lot of adhesions. There was a fair bit of bleeding for a couple of hours after but no pain at all and I'm amazed (and pleased) to say I haven't had any since.... I am wondering if this is because I had a suppository painkiller (I am an absolute baby when it comes to swallowing pills and I told the doc this so she suggested the suppository while I was under - perfect. If that has resulted in no pain, then I would highly recommend it. I don't seem to have any bleeding since around 6 last night - just the tiniest amount of spotting. They gave me two injections afterwards - one for the (anti)antibodies as I'm rhesus negative and one to sop the bleeding which worked almost immediately. I felt quite woozy until about 7 last night and then delish bangers and mash from DH and felt much better.

I am surprised by how ok I am feeling both physically and emotionally. It's wonderful to have the house to ourselves now that parents have gone home and stepsons are at their mums - we so rarely get "us" time that even though the circumstances for alone time aren't great, I'm still enjoying the alone time, if that makes sense.

I am expecting that I will have some down days and will tackle those as they come.

How is everyone else doing? I am thinking of you all and sending lots of warm wishes x

Hi wonnay and star I'm glad you've made it to the other side and it was as ok as it could be.

I had op on Fri and felt quite upbeat on Sat which I think was relief at the op being over.
Was feeling quite sad, flat and lifeless yesterday so took it really easy.

I know what you mean about pads, so awkward and just don't feel very 'clean' I am still bleeding, it is difficult to assess how much is 'normal' as not used to pads. Not really in any pain, had a few cramps the last 2 days but they seem to have gone now.

Today I feel ok but kind of fragile. I feel like I can only cope with small, easy things but if someone in a shop was rude or I had to deal with a difficult client I'd fall apart. My DP has this week off work (planned from ages ago) so it feels like a comfort to have him around.

I think my main preoccupation at the mo is how to get pregnant again quicker than the last 2 times which both took a year. Not sure if that is healthy or not but I also think I am still in a kind of state of shock and so just trying to take one day at a time.

Sorry, am rambling on now......

How is everyone else today?

WombatI was ok with the general i think. :) They tried my left hand for the drip initially but i had a wriggly vein so ended up with the right hand. Before they layed me flat down, they put a small syringe of something into the drip to help relax me (not sure if this is normal. Didn't feel anxious to be honest so wondering if it's just something they do)They then put me flat and asked if i felt any different and i said no so they gave me an oxygen mask to breathe through which i assume is when they administered the GA. I assume because i remember nothing more than the oxygen mask and when i came to, the first thing i remember was having an oxygen mask put on. Felt fine more or less straight away, just a bit heavy legged i suppose.

My bleeding seems to have tailed of to fairly lightish (was v heavy yesterday)which i'm surprised at as expected a couple of days of heavy bleeding. Not sure how normal this is and if it doesn't start up again, i may check it out in case it could be an indication of a blockage or something.
Still feel ok about the situation. Thought i might get upset yesterday but still no crying from me so a bit worried it's still bottling up and i'll have a random outburst at some point in the future.

Yellowtomato. Have you seen the thread in the conception forum, which is for TTC after a M/C? There is a good link on the first page to a pregnancy loss website with lots of different scenarios to expect after miscarriage and tips for getting pregnant ASAP :)
I'm still not sure. I want to but have the fear to fight which i never had with the other two. Would prefer not to have another August baby (youngest in the year) so will mjaybe try as soon as Christmas is upon us. I am hoping i will be due a first period around that time. Other option is waiting until May next year and enoying a nice holiday but that would mjean having to wait all that timje for a 2012 feb/march baby. The youngest would be nearly 5 then and the eldest will be 9. Would prefer to keep the gap as small as possible. DH changed his mind again and just wants to stick at the two we have. I expect this will change regularly for us both until we've fully healed.

Everyone Regarding TTC again, are you all waiting for your first period to make it easier for docs to date the pregnancy or are you cracking on a couple of weeks post M/C??

Sorry for the randomj J's and M's. The computer must have had something spilt on it so we have sticky pads. Those letters keep wanting to stay together. I try to delete the ones i notice..... :o

See i've done it again, haha!!

Thanks yellowtomato - I totally know what you mean about pads - I hate the things and it's like a cruel reminder every time you feel it or go to the loo. I'm still amazed at my lack of bleeding but I guess it must have something to do with the injection of methergin and tablets I have been prescribed which will last another 3 days so perhaps there will be more bleeding after that. Has anyone else been prescribed this? Planning to look it up here in a moment as well....

star - glad to read that the GA wasn't too bad -that sedative stuff is pretty impressive isn't it? Shame we couldn't get our hands on that after a hard day at work

beesok and issy - how are you both doing today?

Thanks for the info about that thread on the conception forum star will have a look.

It is true that the GA was what I most feared but it seems to be the part I've noticed the least!

I am def feeling fragile, have just popped to the supermarket and had tears when I came back as i just felt so vulnerable out there, a bit like everyone was looking at me. Also a weird compulsion to tell strangers ie don't expect me to be normal and act normal don't you know what I'm going through!!!

Hmm that makes me seem a bit loopy doesn't it?

I am def waiting for a period before trying again. I don't think it is necc true but read somewhere that the lining might not be thick enough first time. But main reason is that I don't think I would be emotionally stable enough to cope with the uncertainty and scans and being back on the roller coaster again.

wonnay I haven't been prescribed anything. Bleeding is just like a period at the moment, I'll see how it progresses.

Star i found I had very up and down days last time. Some hours almost 'forgot' and then it would come crashing back. And feeling v emotional at totally random times. I guess we just have to go with the flow and see what comes up.

Hi Ladies
So glad you have got it overwith at least physically anyway star I know exactly what you mean about the age gap thing, my youngest is 9, we have now booked a holiday for feb, so saay I was lucky enough to fall straight away I would be due nov next year, he will be 10 then and going to secondary school 6 months later. It is making me question whether to be happy with what we have (as dh is) or to have another one which I dearly want, but risk upsetting the dynamics of out family and pretty much starting again from scratch aged 36.
My bleeding has all but stopped now, just a little pant liner needed. Am going for my first run later xxxx

Hey Ladies, sorry have been busy today and just got back from another long day with the kids :)

Star and Yellow I am glad you are recovering and in spite of the emotional turmoil I am sure you are happy to put it all behind you (well, the physical side for one!)

wonnay am glad you're OK and I think having your husband there is realy important (coming from the silly one who went to all her scan alone !! - never doing that again :(

I am actually OK and like brought getting back to running! I might as well continue to get in shape before the next round...

I have the erpc provisionally booked for Thursday morning and waiting for a confirmation tomorrow. To be honest I can't wait to have it all behind me and just start again. I spoke with the dr at the hospital and he said that he recommends to wait at least one cycle but alos said that there is no harm/risk if you happen to get pg before that so am just going to see how I feel and how the recovery goes. Def. feel stronger although it does hit me at unexpected moments :( well, I guess that comes with the package and hopefully it will be easier as time passes.

I am actually trying to take advantage of this whole thing (if you can say that) and well, piging out on sushi, back to proper running and I am getting my hair done next week so there - positive thinking!!!

Brought. I have near enough stopped yet everything i read says to expect heavy bleeding for a couple of days after. I'm not complaining but just not what i was told to expect. Is this normal, do you think?
Do you know what? DH just thinks we should be happy with what we have (DS age 7 and DD age 3) and that might just be our destiny. However, i just feel i will always feel resentful, maybe that's not the right word so say sad, that we didn't have more. I look at the school photo and feel like there should be another in there :(.You may be worried about starting from scratch again but the kids will love a little baby around the place. My eldest would like me to have 4 boys he says
I think of what i'd like when we get older and just think it would be lovely to have a large family with lots of grandchildren and i feel having 3 or 4 children would ease the burden they may feel as we get into old age.

Glad you are feeling stronger beesok and feeling like you have more direction. Hopefully come the end of the week you will find a little bit of closure on all of this and feel ready to move on.

No wombat i haven't been prescribed anything. They just let me go. They've not even mentioned if i need to have a check up in a few weeks. Should this normally happen?

Regarding running, when can we start back after the op? Should i wait a couple of weeks or until the bleeding stops?

Hi star, im not sure about the bleeding after ERPC as I was a "natural", but its been over 2 weeks of on/off bleeding for me. Maybe they got most of the lining out for you when they did your procedure, I know when I had my C/S they got most of it out and I hardly bled at all.
Regarding my DD and DS I know they would love having a baby around especially DS who is a huge softie. The reason I want one so bad is that I don't want to be in a house in 10 years time with no young kids around when I will be only!? 45. I have enjoyed my 2 being little and now they are growing out of that stage I wish I could do it all again, having said that if it doesn't happen within a year I will give up and decide we are meant to have what we have now.
xxxx

Morning ladies - good to hear your updates.

beesok - fingers crossed that you get your confirmation for thursday so you have something to aim for.

I too am keen to get back into my regular running - I asked the ob/gyn on sun and she said best to leave it about 5 days - I feel as if I could go today other than feeling a bit tired due to very up and down sleep.

Blimey - I think I am super drugged up here - I have been given antibiotics for 5 days, the methergin for 3 days and also voltaren to take for the pain if I need it (took it a couple of times to prevent anything but haven't since yesterday morning and no pain at all - fingers crossed). I think it has all made me very constipated though - something I had issues with when PG, but seems even worse now - anyone else with the same? re: follow-up appointment - I will have one in about 2 weeks time.

Feeling rather flat today but DH and I off later to shops for new dress for christmas bash - he's a honey. We are going to compose an email to a couple of lots of friends we haven't told with the update as he is feeling as if he is having to lie which he is v uncomfortable with and in a way, it would be a relief for them to know and not have to pretend everything is ok. I think I put my finger on it earlier when I thought that I don't think I will ever be as happy go lucky as I have been in the past - time will tell of course.

Sending you all lots of warm wishes xx

Hi, everyone, glad to see most of us and now on the recovery road. I too and recovering well feel much more like myself and have pretty much got back to normal, just still off work but im going back next monday. I have started a thread on the conception page as i have decided we are going to try again asap, i went to the doctors and he told me we coul try asap (when bleeding stopped) what does anyone think about that?? im not sure i think we may wait for 1 af, i went out yesterday and got stocked up on prenatal vits.

wombat ive just read your post and you will get back to your normal self, it just takes time, you will get back to being a happy go lucky girl.

star glad its all over, well the procdure is what i meant. Beesok fingers crossed for thursday so you too can try and get some closure.

Oh, jeez....had a real panic this morning. I needed my first number 2 (sorry :)) since the procedure and i was in agony. I had sharp stabbing pains in my lower abdomen, up inside me and bottom area. It just seemed to be coming from all over. Was awful. Ended up ringing the ward just for reassurance and she said it was pain as the pooh (sorry again) moved down from my bowel past where they have operated and i may have problems for 3 weeks until everything settles. I wish they had mentioned it!!! I thought i was going to pass out. Sorry if this sounds melodramatic but it was totally unexpected as i've had no pain so far. All ok now at least.
Are we ok to have a bath? Did anyone ask? Just wondering because as our cervix will still be open for a while, i wondered if there could be a risk of infection.
Nurse, will check out the conception thread. x

Sorry you have had so much pain star I have had a little of that when I had a wee but my (sorry tmi) poo was quite 'loose' so didn't hurt but I felt if I pushed it would have hurt iyswim? Yes they def should have mentioned this!

I think a bath is ok but without perfumed products as it might irritate it.

Right am off for a nap, still feeling v tired.

Star sorry i forgot to mention both times i had trouble passing a motion and wind (sorry) felt like i was going to pass out with the pain, it lasted for about three days. i brought some lactlose (you can but it over the counter) it just makes your poo (sorry) softer to pass. I freaked out first time and i forgot all about it when i got it this time. Ive started a thread on the conception board if anyone wants to join me! im only having positive thoughts from now on!!

Hi folks!

Thanks for all the good wihes and thought coming my way over the past few days.

Had the ERPC today. For once I wsn't in early on the list: I didn't get taken through until almost half twelve and released until after 4pm (I was in at 7.45).

It went well apart from a run in with a nurse (who the last time I was in reduced the only other pateint to tears). I was calm before she snatched my notes away (I wasn't allowed to read then, that the rulle - to quote). She took then away a second time when I got them back. She really upset me so much so I didn't explain myself to the other nurses when I asked or my notes back. she made me feel like an errant toddler. Then just before she took me into surgery and she couldn't find a piece of paper, she made me move on the bed so she could search my bed! Nick and myself were so taken aback we were speechless. I going to write a letter of complaint because her bedside manner is appalling and as I've said it isn;t the first time she's upset patients.

Glad to hear the rest of you are moving on. We'll probably wait for my period to come back (ony because I had retained tissue after one ERPC so I want to be sure everything has 'reset') but then we're all go. Need to renew my folic acid prescription :)

That's it nurse, i actually thought i was going to keel over with the pain. It was definately a shock!! DH had only just left for work when i rang him to tell him to keep his phone with him in case i needed to get in touch. Luckily it went once i'd passed everything.

That sounds shocking Issy. I think a complaint would be very fair on your part. It's bad enough having staff with appalling bed side manners, in other areas of the hospital but you'd think they'd tread very carefully with women who could be very vulnerable with grief!!

I've been to watch Disney on Ice this evening with the kids and DH so that's made me smile today :)

Issy - glad to hear you are through the "other side" despite the shocking treatment from that nurse - truly appalling. Glad also to read that you haven't been put off trying again. I think I will also wait for the first period as all the info I have read makes sense to do this (although there is a big part of me that wants to start trying right away).

Nurse - thanks for your kind words - I really did have a bad morning yesterday, especially composing the email to friends which I think made everything more real since it has taken the whole thing "out in the open" so to speak. HAve had some lovely replies back which has made me feel a whole lot better. Thanks also for the link to the conception thread you started - I had a look at the link that the other poster had put up which looks interesting but I think I'm not quite ready to throw myself into it just yet. Our forum here has been so fantastic during these last couple of weeks, I don't know if any other forum could live up to it just yet! (no offence to any other posters from other forums intended, just that I feel we've got quite close in a short space of time, IYSWIM).

star - what a lovely thing to do with the kids and DH - made me smile too. We're off to see the stage version of When Harry Met Sally tonight - hope it doesn't make me cry!

beesok - are you booked in for tomorrow? Thinking of you lots and sending warm wishes for a speedy recovery.

yellowtomato - how are you doing today?

Beesok good luck for tomorrow will be thinking of you x x x

Wombat when your ready your always welcome to join, i started it cos the other thread seemed to have a lot of members so i thought i could start one for us lot. I hope your ready to join us soon x x

issy and yellowtomato how are you doing?

Anyone else is also welcome to join us on the other thread, when your ready and in your own time x x

Hi everyone! Sorry I have been a bit busy and tired over the past few days, thankfully my procedure is confirmed for tomorrow, very early - 6:30 am. My hubby will be with me and I am hoping to be back home around lunchtime. I've already taken Friday off and that should give me enough time to get back on track by Monday. My MIL will be visiting over the weekend which is nice because I like her a lot and she always makes it a point to cook and pamper us (even if we protest).

Am looking forward to having it all behind me and, hopefuly, trying again! Nurse will be joining your thread - I think it's time to move on from this one :)

Issy, yellow, star, wonny and anyone i missed I hope you are all OK

will report back tomorrow!

Good luck Beesok for tomorrow :) Hope you and DH are ok.
Let us know how you are when you're up to it either on here or on the conception thread. You've been in limbo for so much longer than we have as you are the thread starter on here, yet you are only just starting to have this all come to an end. Lots of love x

Thanks nurse - I will definitely come and join you when I'm ready and I think a good idea to start a new thread.

Beesok - I second what star has said - you really have been here the longest and I hope that just Friday and the weekend will be long enough for you to recover - do please take extra time if you need it. How lovely you have such a great relationship with your MIL. I think you'll be under as I type so thinking of you lots x

Had my first uninterrupted sleep last night so feeling better again today.

Hope the rest of you are doing ok.