What would you do? Pls help

[Beesok]

Hi everyone, it is really painful for me to join this thread but I am really confused and need some help/advice.

I just found out yesterday that I have a blighted ovum (it's my first pregnancy and I am 6+2 weeks). The doctor said she can see a sac but no yolk sac or fetus and expects me to miscarry within next few weeks. She told me all my options but I felt like she suggested to wait it out to happen naturally.

Obviously I am extremely upset and yesterday after talking to my hubby we decided to let things happen naturally. Today I woke up with minor period like cramps but still no bleeding (I haven't had a single drop of blood since my last period in September).
After reading on the Internet I saw that it took some women weeks to miscarry naturally...I am scared of my emotional state if I wait for weeks and weeks (won't be able to move on until it happens) am just seeking advice from people who went through this? Did you wait or is it better to get a D&C?

BTW The doctore is def off in timing my pregnancy - the report said I am 8 weeks but there is no way that can be true (otherwise I would have been on my period and pregnant!) I am not more than 6 weeks +/- few days....not sure if that means I'll have to wait longer for it to happen...

Thanks in advance for your help

Be strong beesok. I know what you mean though. Even though we both know this is over, it's like we won't really believe it till they take me down for the op. I think way deep down there's a little bit of hope that this has been a massive mistake and we're just hoping we'll see a little flicker, a miracle.......and then it's like a sucker punch when you just get told the same again :(.
You know, people are just trying to come up with a pearl of wisdom to help you but often end up doing the opposite. I see the fear in some peoples faces that they don't know what to say. I just take it on the chin and know they mean well but then grrrrrr to DH when we're back alone.
Take care xxx

Thinking of you today beesok and star x

I'm a little better today I managed to get a good nights sleep although I did have three glasses of vino I know I'm a naughty on a school night but hey I think I've earnt them! Still no more bleeding some I'm hoping that's that for me till next af.

Hope everyone else is ok?

nurse - v glad to hear that you are recovering well physically and managed a good night's sleep -too right you should have the vino as well!

beesok, star - thinking of you both today....

issy - how are you bearing up today?

brought - how about you - I hope your rose is doing ok in the cold.

I found going out last night and pretending as if all was normal quite difficult and DH's colleague said to him today that I didn't look like my normal self. Today I met with the one RL friend who knows who had an mc herself at around 9 weeks 10 years ago and it was wonderful to be able to talk about all the things I've been thinking lately without feeling I was going mad. I hadn't realised until afterwards how much I needed a woman to woman chat. DH is great but as a man there is a limit to how much they can empathise (although of course he'll be going through different things himself of course). Time seems to be ticking by so slowly still - 10.30 on Sunday seems a lifetime away....

Currently sat in epu. Scan showed sac and nothing in it so looks like my body has absorbed the pregnancy. No idea which option to go for. At mo am booking in for Sunday for erpc and at least have s couple of days to mull it over. Really feel I don't want anon but feeli have no choice. Can't bare to wait potentially 3 weeks and into December, yet even though I'd have gone with the medically managed option quite happily, feel everyone seems to be so against it!!! Is it that bad??? The nurses seem to push for that saying how much success they have. So confused!!! X

Shocking typing sorry. Am on I phone. Meant don't really want an op.

Hi star - I'm sorry to read that the scan did show an empty sac. While I understand you feel you have no choice, you still do - you could cancel / postpone op and wait for natural and you could still go for medically managed. Can you put your finger on what is putting you off this option? I think there will probably be a "what if..." whichever option you decide to go for and sometimes the hardest part is making the decision itself. Once the choice is made, you can prepare for that choice. Hope this helps a little - thinking of you lots x

Star so sorry, I know how you feel, I can't comment on the medical management only the op, and it wasn't that bad I have recovered well both times and went on to get pg on my 2nd post cycle. Only you can decide its your choice and don't feel pushed into anything. I can only speak from my experience that this time I had two weeks of worry and stress and I couldn't handle anymore like you I knew december was looming and needed some closure. Wish I could make it easier for you, big hugs x

just wrote a response and it got deleted by accident....

Star am joining your club - sac is empty, no miracle sadly :( and she actually noticed some bleeding around it so maybe I will mc soon (although she said it doesn't mean anything).

I will still go to my hospital appt on Monday to discuss my options in depth.

Am going to let myself cry today for the last time and I just hope we can on move on quickly now.

xx

Beesok so sorry, hugs for you too x

star and beesok so sorry and the waiting is tortuous for you.
Hope it is over for you soon so you can move on
xxxx

Really sorry Beesok. I had some bleeding noted as well. Have you made a decision on how you will manage it now?

I have provisionally booked in for Sunday for a surgical evacuation but they have said i can change my mind whenever if i want. I had bloods taken today and signed all the consent forms. They also took swabs from nose and groin to test for MRSA and an internal swab to check for infection.
When she did this, she noted i had a bit of bleeding around my cervix but couldn't be sure if this was the start of anything once i told her i also have a cervical erosion. Since coming away i have been having brown bitty pieces of tissue coming away which has started to be a bit more mucus-y/discharge-y. Might just be all the prodding around but the ideal scenario would for me to miscarry naturally over the weekend before we get to Sunday.
Also, the private scan on Saturday picked up cysts and fibroids. I mentioned it to the sonographer today and he said it would be highly unlikely he would see fibroids in someone of my age (28). He didn't note any and said the only cyst that stood out was what he would say was a corpus luteum cyst. No idea what this is. He mentioned something about when the ovary releases and egg but wasn't concerned.
One interesting point was that half way through the scan he stopped and said "er....what did you say your occupation is??" i told him housewife/SAHM and he went oh, ok. Wasn't till afterwards i thought about how random it was and realised he could have possibly thought i was in the medical profession of some sort. I had been interested in the whole thing, asking to see the scan and have him point things out. Asking lots of questions but talking about the things we were looking at in detail.
See, we have become mini experts in all of this!! Only other option was that he thought i was a freak because i handled it very matter of factly and didn't get upset or anything. I just felt relief that things have been put in motion now. I am a bottler though so i expect to have some hideous over reaction to spilling some milk or something in a couple of weeks when it will all come out :) xx

Thanks everyone :) I really appreciate the kind thoughts :)

Star seems like you have it all sorted, fingers crossed for Sunday or well, maybe you'll get over with before then?

As for me - I have no idea what to do. I have an apt at UCL on Monday so will go there with hubby and decide. I have been cramping on and off since the morning so maybe something will happen soon, so far I have had no spotting or bleeding whatsoever .....

To be honest, I put on a brave face throughout the scan and in spite of hubby's insistence I decided to go by myself then came home, grabbed a bite, did the laundry (!) and watched reruns of SATC (I know I know) but then when he came back from work and I saw his face when he asked me if I'm OK I just broke down. Proper sobbing and sniffling :( oh man as much as I am trying to be positive there are def good days and bad days.

I know that some people on this thread have gone through SO MUCH more and I don't want to sound so cliche but this whole exprience has def changed me :( I don't know mybe things happen for a reason but I will never look at being pregnant the same way again :(

How are you all? nurse, issy, wonny, brought I hope you are having one of the good days :)

oh and star don't worry about the corpus luteum - that is what supports the development of the pregnancy in the early stages - it always forms on the ovary that you ovulated from (saw mine too - it was the right one ;)

Hi guys I hope you don't mind me joining you from the June thread. I had scan today, meant to be 8+5 but no heartbeat or viable pregnancy. Had seen heartbeat at 6 weeks so a big shock. Have Erpc booked for tomorrow. It is my second mmc, no kids. Took me a year to get pregnant each time and am 37 now so it seems like a long road ahead.

Am so sorry you are all going through the same thing, it is such a difficult time.

Oh no yellowtomatoe. I think we need a June 11 support group. There have been so many of us slipped through in this group.....too many!

Do you have any idea as to what may have happened? What did they date the pregnancy at? Have they mentioned whether they will start investigations now given your age? I know they normally wait for 3 miscarriages but i am wondering if they may push earlier for you.
Did you lose the first in similar circumstances if you don't mind me asking?Also, did you have a ERPC with that one too?

Just realised i've asked so many questions there, sorry. I'm just on a hunt for answers i suppose at the moment.

Take lots of care and good luck for tomorrow. Please come back and let me know how you get on. I'm booked in for mine on Sunday. xx

Hi Star
I don't mind the questions at all. Last time it was earlier at 5 weeks and I found out at 8 weeks and went on holiday for 10 days the next day. When back it took a week to get appt to discuss options and there was a 10 day wait for op. So op was booked but bleeding started 2 days later and peaked 2 days after that. Bled for about 6 days in total, 2 of which heavier than a period and about 5 hours of severe pain.

This time they said chromosomes but didn't date when it stopped. Measurement from 6+5 was 4mm and today 14 mm so progress had been made. They will check tissue but told me unlikely to find anything useful.

I can self refer to recurrent mc clinic but they said they didn't recommend as v intrusive and 'only' 2 mc are v common. All staff were v nice but that in some ways upset me more. Have to be at hospital at 9am for op at 3pm so will be a v long day

Ha

Oh yes, a very long day. I have to be in for 8.30 but have no idea when the op will be. I'll be filling my face up until 12am Saturday night to make up for it :).
So probably stopped at around 7+2 ish then.
Did you end up not needing the op then last time? Were they happy that you had 'passed' everything?

oh yellowtomato so sorry for you :( I will be thinking of you tomorrow - hope it will go well and that you will recover quickly.
It's sad how many of us are here :( I guess the stats can be right, everyone keeps telling me how common it is (even the dr today told me that 1 in 6 pregnancies end in miscarriage).

star a new - positive - thread is a great idea. Or we can stay on this one I don't mind at all.

I really hope both of you have the best experience possible with something like this, I will be sending warm thoughts and keeping my fingers crossed. Def. let us know how it all goes.

yellow you are young - I have friends who had their first babies at 39 and 40 yrs old.

oh and star I intend to freak out the docs on Monday too ;) I will be asking lots of questions and if I feel I am not 100% convinced I will wait :(

Haha, i think they really hate it when they know we know our stuff :o It must take away their feeling of supremecy over us!!! To be fair, the docs/nurses have been great with us today.

Thanks Beesok will let you know how it goes. The drs today were telling me 1 in 4 end in miscarriage. I guess on the one hand I do have time but on the other my Mum and Nan had menopause at 38.
Star yeh it all passed fine, they scanned me 2 weeks later to confirm.
Thank you for the support, means a lot.

I think that given that, it may make me a bit more tempted to start looking into it or at least try asap after the ERPC. I'm sure the doctors will be sensitive given your family history and may be more likely to offer help sooner.
The very best of luck tomorrow, x

yellow did u get any blood tests done before ttc? I think star is right and after you recover from the ERPC I would schedule an apt with your GP (I hope he's good) and discuss getting some tests done - FSH, LH etc
As far as I know FSH can tell you your egg capacity and also can signal premenopausal stages - I am not trying to worry you or anything but it would probably make you feel better if you were well informed about what's going on in your body.

My GP tested my progesterone levels to check whether I'm ovulating in 2 cycles in a row.

Given your medical history and the fact that it took you 1 yr to conceive I would put my foot down for a proper check up.

Again I hope you won't take my post as insensitive - I have only been living in the UK for 4 yrs and I am not really used to the "let's wait and see" approach they often advocate here...

Hope it all goes well, keep us posted!

Hi all!

Very quick, drive-by post to let you know I'm still here and reading but v. busy today so no time to reply properly.

Scan tomorrow morning but it is also the Spouse's birthday so prob. Won't be able to post an update until the evening as we're planning a pub lunch and sending the afternoon at an aviation museum (it is his birthday so he got to choose!).

star 7 beesok sorry about your results.

Ditto for yellowtomato, sorry you've had to come over here :(

So sorry to see you here yellowtomato, but welcome, we're all in this together and we WILL all get through it. Your experience sounds much like mine, this was my first pregnancy and we'd seen the heartbeat.

Wonnay how are you? Thanks for the blood type info. Eeek. I'm going to file it under "things to think about later" but it sounds interesting.

I've been a bit off the radar as things seem to be moving along naturally for me even though I didn't want them to. The irony of which is that my appointment is later today and I was all set to try to push for ERPC. But yesterday my brown spotting changed to pink bleeding with a tummy ache. Last night from 2am to 6am I was having regular cramps and today I'm still bleeding. I really didn't want to have to do it this way as I'm scared and don't feel equipped to deal with it. I don't know how long its meant to go on for and how I know when it's over. I know it's not over yet as there has only been blood so far. Weirdly I'm having a slightly more positive day so far today though, maybe it's a sense that this is the start of it being over. I just hope I'm not still sitting here in 6 weeks thinking the same - I really want it to be quick. I feel like my body has let me down as it is, the last thing I want now is to do it naturally AND end up having to have an ERPC!

brought how are you getting on? I keep thinking about what you?ve been through and sincerely wish you all the best, as of course I do for everyone on here.

nurse I?m so glad that your recovery is going well.

supersunny it?s lovely that you are sharing your info with us, totally don?t mind you coming and of course hope that you have a wonderful pregnancy 

wonnay I?m sorry that you had to try to have a normal evening out. I?ve tried to do a few ?normal? things this week amongst people who don?t know and I?ve found it depends how I?m feeling on the day. Some days it has been just what I needed and other days I?ve ended up just feeling like I?m in a daze just watching it all go on around me. At time goes on we?ll ALL have more and more better days.

Issy I?m so sorry that you?ve been through this so many times before. This was my first pregnancy and first mc, I can?t imagine having to go through it more than once. Thinking of you at today?s appointment. Great idea re haircut, I?ve done that this week too. This is definitely a time to take good care of ourselves.

Star how are you going with your decision? It?s hard, isn?t it. I thought I was really keen to go for ERPC but now my body seems to be making its own mind up.

Beesok I'm so so sorry that your appointment didn't have a better outcome, I was so hoping for a miracle for you. I came home from my first appointment confirming that my pg was over and did the vacuuming! I?d never want to do it usually! I too usually wait (without meaning) to for DH to get home then realise I?ve been bottling it up. I wouldn?t put a limit on your crying, it is a terribly sad time and it?s important to grieve. There will be less tears and more smiles ahead for all of us. I know what you mean about never looking at being pregnant in the same way. With this being my first experience of pregnancy it feels like such a potentially wonderful thing has been spoilt.