What would you do? Pls help

[Beesok]

Hi everyone, it is really painful for me to join this thread but I am really confused and need some help/advice.

I just found out yesterday that I have a blighted ovum (it's my first pregnancy and I am 6+2 weeks). The doctor said she can see a sac but no yolk sac or fetus and expects me to miscarry within next few weeks. She told me all my options but I felt like she suggested to wait it out to happen naturally.

Obviously I am extremely upset and yesterday after talking to my hubby we decided to let things happen naturally. Today I woke up with minor period like cramps but still no bleeding (I haven't had a single drop of blood since my last period in September).
After reading on the Internet I saw that it took some women weeks to miscarry naturally...I am scared of my emotional state if I wait for weeks and weeks (won't be able to move on until it happens) am just seeking advice from people who went through this? Did you wait or is it better to get a D&C?

BTW The doctore is def off in timing my pregnancy - the report said I am 8 weeks but there is no way that can be true (otherwise I would have been on my period and pregnant!) I am not more than 6 weeks +/- few days....not sure if that means I'll have to wait longer for it to happen...

Thanks in advance for your help

broughthimround welcome to the thread and sorry you have circumstance to be here.

I'm sorry some people have had crappy experiences with the NHS because they have been absolutely wonderful to me, from the booking in appt at 5 weeks, the EPU staff being there 24 hrs at the end of the phone to reassure me about bleeding, phoning up on friday night and being offered a scan monday lunchtime, 3 minute response time from the ambulance when I collapsed, nurse, doctor and registrar care, finding me a bed in a private room for a second night even though they were full, and an extra scan when they were booked solid. An ERPC first thing the following morning, including full consultations with the registrar (twice), anaesthetist, staff nurse and sister when I was scared about the operation. A very efficient and professional operating theatre system. Topped off by roast beef and yorkshire pudding when I returned to the ward!!

Why can't all hospitals have this?

Hi Star, I agree about the august babies.....My DS is the youngest in his class and emotionally struggles with his peers.
My coping strategy when I am upset/grieving/stressed is to get myself a project, which I have done and have decided we are all going on the holiday of a life-time to florida in feb. Maybe after that I will be up for trying again. My DH is still in denial, and just questioned me for opening a bottle of wine when we havn't had it confirmed yet.....I asked him if he wants to look in my pants, probably not a nice thing to say but I Know already .
Thanks for the welcome.
jasmine51 thanks for the advice hopefully I won't need it! x x

Has anyone had the experience or know anyone who has had two erpc and had no problems I'm just a bit worried as I've already had one, (had my dd 3 months later) don't want to do any damage but I'm not bleeding or any pains in the last two weeks so I can see my only option is to have erpc or medical management at this stage!
Persnoally I've had no problems with the nhs too and my epau have been so supportive and caring. But I do you they are some lousy systems in certain areas, if ever in doubt though I would always just go to a&e they can't ignore you!
I'm dreading my scan tomorrow wish it was just all over, hope that doesn't sound harsh just need to move on.

Has anyone had the experience or know anyone who has had two erpc and had no problems I'm just a bit worried as I've already had one, (had my dd 3 months later) don't want to do any damage but I'm not bleeding or any pains in the last two weeks so I can see my only option is to have erpc or medical management at this stage!
Persnoally I've had no problems with the nhs too and my epau have been so supportive and caring. But I do you they are some lousy systems in certain areas, if ever in doubt though I would always just go to a&e they can't ignore you!
I'm dreading my scan tomorrow wish it was just all over, hope that doesn't sound harsh just need to move on.

Broughthimround, Yey to Florida. We'vebeen the last 3 years and a couple of years before that. It's brill. Visit www.thedibb.co.uk for lots of help re the planning.
Nurse Not sure on that as this is my first miscarriage but it does seem that lots of people on here have had multiple procedures. Can ERPC's cause damage then? Does this affect future conception?
Supersunny, Thanks for the guide, will ring around so i'm prepared in case that needs to be an option.

Ah, thanks but we're in Yorkshire.
My cousin in a consultant down in London and i had thought of speaking to her actually, in case she knows of anywhere up this way. We literally have no idea here, as only moved from the East Midlands area in August.

nurse47 I have had 5 ERPCs and one ToP (for anencelphaly) and have had no problems at all with the op for the most part.

Usually I've recovered v. quickly. However my last ERPC but one wasn't so great. I had what I thought was food poisoning immediately after but it was more likely to be a piece of retained tissue as seen on a routine scan (as part of the RMC clinic's investigations). Unfortunately the consultant didn't agree with the sonographer and so it took another two months before my body finally had a period and cleared oerything out. All my other post ERPC periods have been at most a week to 10 days later than normal.

Star there is a condition called Asherman's syndrome which can affect fertility which can be made more likely by ERPCs and other gynae proceedures. However it is very rare and as long as you are aware of the symptoms to look out for and get medical attention quickly if you think you may have it, it should be okay.

Guys, does anyone here have experience with UCLH in London? Would you recommend anyone in particular there?

Also if let's say I would like to have my ERPC done by Tariq Miskry as recommended by sunny could I just get transferred there or do I need a GP referral to him?

Thanks super every opinion counts so I will def look into my options - looking at my state things are progressing very slowly so I think I have time to decide.

I will call tomorrow to find out. Also does can he do the ERPC through NHS or is this going to have to fully paid if I go with him?

Thanks Beesok for your thoughtful words. How did you get on at work on Friday? I?m starting to feel better emotionally although I guess it has still only been a few days. I feel that it?s particularly hard to start dealing with it as the actual physical part of the miscarriage is still to come. I?m hoping that there will be a greater sense of closure once that?s happened, either naturally or via ERPC. I too feel in total limbo, with no symptoms of pregnancy or mc! I too just want the ERPC if nothing happens before my appointment. And like you I want to ttc asap.

I?ve decided that at my appointment on Saturday I?m going to push for an ERPC as I really don?t like waiting. Also, the ?natural? miscarriage seems like a bit of a journey into the unknown. I was told that if/when it happened to call the doctor if the bleeding seemed like too much but how on earth would I know how much is too much? This isn?t something I?ve done before! So thanks cuppateajanice for the sensible advice. Thanks for everyone who has given details of the ERPC procedure. Beesok, like you, I too like to know the details.

Issy I?m glad you?re getting lots of cuddles from your little one. That?s pretty much the best medicine at the moment

Star82 I?m sorry that you didn?t get a better outcome. We were all thinking of you. It?s terribly sad that we?re not all on Jue in June anymore but thank goodness we were ? it?s really reassuring that even though we?re all having to go through this, that we?re all pretty much in the same boat, at the same stage. Star I too have a large ovarian cyst so I?m wondering that if I have an ERPC they might be able to take a look at the cyst too. I should think it?s a coincidence that we both have a cyst and both find ourselves on here? You might have guessed, I?m currently on a ?trying to find answers? spin right now, even though I may have to accept that there?s no way of knowing why. Thanks supersunny for the info re cysts too. I think I?m just asking lots of questions as this was my first pregnancy, it took quite a while to get pregnant in the first place to I?m pretty worried about the future.

Wonnaywombat I?m so glad you found us and I?m terribly sorry that this has happened to you too. I?m not sure if it?s a consolation but I am in exactly the same position as you. I found out on Thursday, having already seen a heartbeat 2 weeks earlier. I also have no DCs. I?m also doing the waiting vs ERPC right now too.

nurse47 sorry to see you?re here but welcome. I too hope to ttc again asap (after ERPC/natural miscarriage, whichever happens first). I?ve heard that we?re supposed to be more fertile after this which seems odd to me (not to mention horribly ironic) but hopeful.

broughtimround I?m so sorry you?re here too. I know Jue in June was a massive group but I just can?t believe how many of us are going through this. Your treatment (or lack of) sounded awful, I?m sorry you had to go through that.

Sorry for the epic post, everyone on here is so kind I wanted to make sure I replied to you all!

Not slept one wink! Just want this week over with! I hope they give me some answers today, I can't face another week of waiting! Either way I have to know and have some closure.
Issy I too have had lots of cuddles from my DD and she really has pulled me through, she's kept me positive and from becoming a hermit!

Will post later to let you know how I get on x

Not slept one wink! Just want this week over with! I hope they give me some answers today, I can't face another week of waiting! Either way I have to know and have some closure.
Issy I too have had lots of cuddles from my DD and she really has pulled me through, she's kept me positive and from becoming a hermit!

Will post later to let you know how I get on x

Thanks mel Friday wasn't so bad but today I am so not in the mood and with the horrible weather outside I just want to curl up and sleep :(

I think it will be a while before I am 100% and secretly I hope that I will be pregnant again soon because if I now have to wait for months and months for it to happen it will be v. difficult for me :(

nurse thinking of you - hope it goes well, whatever the outcome I agree that you need closure.

Hope everyone has a good week :)

Thanks to you all for your welcomes - it is reassuring and a big support being with "familiar faces" so to speak and knowing that we're all going through the same upheaval.

Meltobe - very thoughtful of you to send us all individual messages - thank you.

Nurse47 - I am with you on the lack of sleep - it's all consuming during the night. Do please let us know how you get on today.

I do hope the rest of you are doing as ok as you can - sending plenty of thoughts and hugs.

I am at work again today as I just don't think sitting at home would make me feel any better. I was actually surprisingly productive this morning - I know I'm pusing down all mc thoughts which I don't think is healthy. Also, my mum and dad are staying with us on hols until Saturday and while I'm close to them both, particularly my mum, and while I feel dreadful writing this, I am finding their sympathy too much and I am looking forward to being able to cry when I want to in my own home. Also, I am fine with me and DH saying "it's for the best" but if either of them say it, I want to strangle them.

I have a couple of random questions re: ERPC v waiting if anyone can help with. If it's natural, is it likely to come on slowly or all of a sudden? I'm about a 15 min drive from home and tomorrow I'm due to be on a panel at a seminar and it would be awful if it came on all of a sudden. I am planning just to do my panel bit and then disappear. Also, what is the opinion regarding using tampons at this time? I hate sanitary towels with a vengeance but can't help feeling tampons would be frowned upon.....

Sorry about the me, me, me post.

Thinking of you all.

I don't know if it's related to what's going off but i just feel so exhausted. Was in bed asleep by 10.30 but when mjy alarm went off at 7, i just couldn't get up. Kept hitting the snooze until 7.30......

nurse, don't know about you but i just can't focus on anything. Housework has just gone to pot and although i'm managing to leep on top of the washing and pot washing, all those little jobs have built up so much. I have absolutely zero motivation. Little one at nursery until 3 today so going to try and kick myself into gear.

I've called the doctors and been told my GP is fully booked for today and tomorrow. Asked about the others and was told they may be able to squeeze me in tomorrow evening. Think she felt sorry as had given her a breif synopsis of what i needed to GP for and she said she'll call back late morning or get GP to call me as they will try and get me in late om today.

Is my only other option going straight to a&e? Would i have to fake some spotting though? What about EPU? It does seem the case that you need a refferal before they'll speak to you here. Wonder if it is worth calling them to tell them i have had this private scan and whether they will now move my dec 11th appointment forward to this week?
So much to think about and get done.....would rather just bury my head and go to sleep.....

Beesok it sounds like we're feeling pretty similar. I want to ttc again asap, v worried tho as it took a long time for us to get this far and as it was my first I just hope I'm able to stay pregnant at some point. You never know, we may well find each other on another "Due in (hopefully soon)" post one day .

Wonnay I'm keen to know this too - I'm not wanting to venture too far from home right now which feels ridiculous though as I don't even think I have a hint of it happening yet.

Jeez......several typos in there. Sorry. I'm sure you all know what was meant ;)

wombat, i have heard of some that have come on been over with quite quickly but even they seem to have had stomache pains which would probably put you on your guard. Most seem to progress over days. Where are you based? What is the healthcare like there?
Totally with you on the sanitary towel loathing. I had my first period where i used these and couldn't stand the fact that as soon as i moved or stood up, i could feel it all coming out. Used tampons ever since that first period and overnight. Don't think we have much choice this time though as risk of infection is high. Have you forewarned your employers as at least you could take time off and let it happen at home where wearing towels won't feel as much of a hinderance? Take care.

wonnay welcome and glad you've found us.

As for natural miscarriages, it can vary. For most people it comes on gradually, like a heavy period and stays like that for several days. For me, my first m/c started with pretty strong bleeding during the day but doable with with a sanitary towel. Then at night I had a sudden gush, just like the waters breaking, and suddenly blood was just pouring out of me (I ended up ging to hospital in an ambulence because I was vomitted and fainting at the same time and soaking through pads!).

Also tampons are a very, very bad idea during miscarriages. You must use towels or nothing: mooncups are similarly not good. Tampons increase the risk of infection and quite frankly just won't be able to cope when the miscarriage gets going. You'll almost certainly be passing some large clots and sticking a tampon up there when clots are trying to come out, not good.

star82 and issystark - thank you for your sound advice - I thought that may well be the case re: tampons.

My first m/c was only at about 5 and a bit weeks and it was just like a normal period really but I know this will be worse (if I decide to wait it out) so good to know roughly what to expect. Poor you Issy with your vomiting and fainting - quite an experience and not one you would wish to repeat I'm sure!

re: the healthcare here in Dubai - it's all private and employer pays health insurance costs (up to approx GBP3.5k for maternity) - even though it is "private" the care varies enormously. The ob/gyn within my GP surgery I have seen is very, very good but the hospital that she delivers etc. from was dreadful with my first m/c and the thought of going back there is not a pleasant one. The plan (at the moment) is that we hope she can do the ERPC on Sun or Mon next week, assuming that nothing happens in between now and then, but it would be at the hospital I don't like, but it would be her doing the procedure which would make us feel better. I am also trying to get an ultrasound appointment at another hospital that feels much better (and DH has stayed in) so that we are "in the system" and can go there is natural m/c needs assistance etc. Annoyingly, the scan department is not answering their phone there at the moment..... My ob/gyn has also recommended someone there but waiting lists for the good ones here are long.

As for work, I am pretty much my own boss and can come and go as I please and no-one really knows what I'm up to which is not a good example of management from above, but obviously at the moment suits me very well. It's a construction company and so full of men who just wouldn't understand. Having said that, I am due to be seeing my (male) MD this Weds and will mention that I'm having some medical issues that may require me to undergo some last minute surgery in the next week or so - if I know him well enough, he will just accept that.

The other problem to throw in is that next week there is a 3 day religios holiday that tacks on to the following weekend so the decent ob/gyns aren't going to be available for 5 days and I just know if I left things to happen naturally and needed intervention, it would be over those 5 days and I just wouldn't be sure of what I was getting. We were due to be taking advantage of the long break and going to Jordan and including one night camping in the desert - needless to say that the whole trip has been cancelled!

Sorry, another me, me, me post!

Sorry wombat. It's just all crap isn't it? Hopefully you will be able to take your break when this is all over.
Funny enough, we were thinking of booking to travel to Dubai later this month. DH can only have time off during June and seeing as i would have been due then, we weren't going away next year and instead i was going to take the kids away this month with mother in law. Obviously, that's off the cards now too.
I do feel like i'm running against brick walls....

That sums it up exactly star - crap and brick walls..... have you heard back from your GP surgery yet? I'd love to offer some concrete advice re: A&E / EPU and while I can't offer any personal experience, everything I've read on MN re: EPUs suggest they are pretty on the ball with everything and even if they can't book you in for anything, it's likely they can offer some good advice.

If you would like some advice on Dubai, ask away! I'm originally from Croydon in Surrey, way down South from you and have been living here for 4.5 years. This time of year is just perfect weather wise as is Feb / March / April if you feel like coming then....

Hope the rest of you are doing as ok as you can today x