What would you do? Pls help

[Beesok]

Hi everyone, it is really painful for me to join this thread but I am really confused and need some help/advice.

I just found out yesterday that I have a blighted ovum (it's my first pregnancy and I am 6+2 weeks). The doctor said she can see a sac but no yolk sac or fetus and expects me to miscarry within next few weeks. She told me all my options but I felt like she suggested to wait it out to happen naturally.

Obviously I am extremely upset and yesterday after talking to my hubby we decided to let things happen naturally. Today I woke up with minor period like cramps but still no bleeding (I haven't had a single drop of blood since my last period in September).
After reading on the Internet I saw that it took some women weeks to miscarry naturally...I am scared of my emotional state if I wait for weeks and weeks (won't be able to move on until it happens) am just seeking advice from people who went through this? Did you wait or is it better to get a D&C?

BTW The doctore is def off in timing my pregnancy - the report said I am 8 weeks but there is no way that can be true (otherwise I would have been on my period and pregnant!) I am not more than 6 weeks +/- few days....not sure if that means I'll have to wait longer for it to happen...

Thanks in advance for your help

Oh Beesok I'm sorry it's bad news. Please take care of yourself. I'd advise you to carry the number of your EPU with you for the next few days. They'll be able to reassure you that everything's going ok, and get you in to check if you're worried.

I'm not sure how to put this because I don't want to worry anybody, but if you're mc-ing naturally please keep an eye out for heavy bleeding and dizziness, and get yourself checked if you experience these. It's not common, but sometimes something gets stuck in the cervix and needs releasing. But this is quite rare, something to be aware of rather than scared of, if that makes sense.

breathe thanks for sharing your stories. I'm quite shocked at some of the things I'm hearing about other hospitals - refusing ERPCs to save money is disgusting.

meltobe I had an 'unusual' experience, and even that wasn't particularly painful. 2 ibuprofen sorted it out, although they prefer you to use paracetamol but that doesn't work on me. Now I'm on 2 courses of antibiotics after the surgery, and just taking the occasional nurofen for a bit of aching. To be honest I've had more painful periods, so please don't worry too much.

supersunny those stats are reassuring, thanks.

I wonder how star is getting on...

Beesok the ERPC is the modern version of the D&C. This is what happened to me...

Preparation - talking you through the procedure, answering questions, weighing you, measuring your height, asking about allergies, medical history, dressing you in surgical stockings and gown, removing jewellery, signing consent forms. I also signed a form to say that everything they removed would be sent to the crematorium.

Theatre - You won't know anything about this because all you'll feel is them injecting a very light anaesthetic into a canula in your hand or arm. Next thing you'll know (about an hour later) there will be someone saying 'hello, the operation is all done. Are you ok?' Then you'll be wheeled to a recovery ward and, all being well, will be allowed home in about 4 hours. You'll find strange press studs attached to your shoulders and chest and your genitals will be painted with iodine so will be yellow! Don't worry you don't have to shave!!

Basically what they do is gently open your cervix and vacuum out any remaining tissues, blood etc. Complications are not common, and tend to be mild such as bleeding, trauma to the cervix etc.

2 days later I only have very mild aches and a small amount of bleeding.

I hope that puts your mind at rest a bit - please let me know if you have any more questions, I'm happy to answer them.

Beesok everything cuppa has said basically tallies with my experiences of ERPC. You might do many of the forms beforehand when you are arranging for the ERPC but you will ahve to go through stuff again with the actual surgeon and the anthetist.

Timings for the Princess Anne in Soton are that you cannot eat after 10pm the night before, no liquids after 6am. Report to Day Gynae by 7.45 for prep and then the actual list starts at 9am. If you are lucky you can get into early on the list ad be in recovery by 9.30/10-ish, back into the ward for observation and tea and toast and then released before lunctime. If you are unlucky ad are at the end of the list, you might not even get into surgery until 11-ish and then not be released until mid-afternoon.

Take a book/magazine etc! I sometimes also take radio and headphones.

super & beesok thanks for the kind words.

Sod's law that this weekend the Spouse is away but the garklet (who'll be 4 in December) is actually being gorgeous at the moment. He doesn't know as given my history of recurrent mc (plus one termination at encelphaly after the 12w scan) it wouldn't be fair to tell him anything until things were more certain, so his being in a cuddly mood today is an unexpected bonus.

cuppa and issy thank you so much for the detailed explanation - it helps. I'm one of those people that likes to know "what's going on".

Have a silly question though is the D&C the same as ERPC becaue the doc kept saying D&C all the time and I thought that's the one where they "scrape" you (ouch!). So not sure if I have a choice - and if I do is the vacuum version safer/better?

Sorry if I sound so stupid but this is such new territory for me- one I never thought I would be exploring :(

Wondering how Star is doing? Really hope she's OK

They don't scrape, they will use vauum aspiration anymore although they still use the old terminology just because it is so well known.

D&C can be done for many, many reasons which is why many hospitals have gone over to using ERPC in these circumstances to differentiate between the technical proceedure and the reason for the proceedure but it will be the same thing regardless of what your doctor calls it, beesok.

I too am worried about star. Hope she and her hubby are okay.

I'm so sorry for the delay in replying. Basically, hubby plays sport so went straight to watch him after the scan with both our parents and the kids. We've had mine back for takeaway dinner afterwards and they've only just gone and i've just put the youngest to bed.

Right. Definately bad news still same as you beesok. I'm really sorry to hear that it was bad for you too.
I don't know if it was due to being a different scanner or what but the pic was really unclear today. You could see the sac and see a mass of something in it but nothing clear like it was on wednesday. On wednesday, she put me at 6+1 (i think she measured the gestational sac) and it looked like a normal embryo, without a heartbeat though, at that gestation. The sac today she would have put at 5-6 weeks and although there was something in there, it wasn't recognisable as it was a few days ago.
She thinks she saw a cyst on my ovaries and also possible fibroids.
To quote her today, she just said everything about it looks wrong. From the shape of my uterus, the outline of it, what was inside, the sac didn't measure up to the contents of the sac.
She didn't think an internal scan would help but i asked her to still do one just in case it showed up anything different as i have an introverted uterus. Anyway, we got a really bizarre picture from one angle. It looked like my uterus was triangle shaped and the mass inside was literally just like a halo?!!! She couldn't make any sense of it and think that confirmed to her there was nothing normal about this.
She was shocked and disappointed that the hospital didn't offer me a re scan a week later and have said to contact them again if i don't get anywhere with the GP on Monday when i present her findings.
I strangely feel ok about it. The doubt and glimmer of hope has gone but it sort of feels like we can move on. By the looks of it, this baby never had a chance to start with so probably never even developed a heartbeat which helps a little. DH ok too. I think we'll be ok. :)
Hopefully the GP will refer me on Monday now. xx

Beesok, knackered, meltobe, supersunny, breathedeeply, cuppatea, issy and anyone else i may have missed.
Thankyou so much for all your kids words and thought and such invaluable information that you've taken the time to pass on to me. Someone that you don't even know. It's just been so helpful and i at least feel a bit more like i know what is going on and am armed with info to hit the medics with!!! I'm 28 so have a few years left in me i hope. Will get these possible cysts/fibroids checked out too and hoping now that these wont put an obsticle in the way for trying for number 3. Lots of love to you all :) xx

supersunnyday - thanks so much for referring me to this thread with the other June ladies - it's really kind and has helped a lot already reading what to expect etc.

To Beesok, meltobe, knackered76, janice, issyStark, star82, breathedeeply and others on this post (sorry those I've missed off)- I'm so sorry that you are on this thread in the first place. I hope you are all getting good support in RL too.

To give you a brief run down as to why I've transferred to this thread... We have no current DCs. I had my second scan today for what should have been 9+2 but it only measured at 7+6 and no heartbeat. There had been a heartbeat when I had my first scan that put me at 6+5. Ob/gyn was so lovely and DH was there too so lots of good support. She offered to send me to a separate ob/gyn for second opinion, which was really kind, but there really isn't any point. I had mc at end of May at around 6 weeks when I knew as I was bleeding but this time is much, much harder as things seemed to be progressing ok and there is no bleeding. Now need to decide what route to take i.e. let it happen naturally or go for an ERPC (medicine for bringing it on is not an option here in Dubai as it is illegal) - we're going to have a think about what is best and I'll take some advice from mc forums on here. I am at work today which may seem mad, but I need a distraction. Having said that, I have now spent quite a bit of time reading these posts and others on the mc forum, and very little time doing any work.....

I keep getting tears in my eyes and am thankful my colleagues are oblivious to it. I think I'm still in a bit of shock and denial that it's happened.

Star so sorry to hear that it's bad news too :( It must also be really frustrating dealing with stubborn GPs?EPU when you are already in such a painful and stressful situation hope they sort you out.

I think I am slowly beginning to crawl out of my hole but every now and then I have a mini melt down :( can't bear looking at facebook updates of friends who just had babies or having babies soon :(

Although I must say that I did have a sense of relief and closure - at least, we know that we're not making a hasty decision on something that could potentially be OK.

Star you are def young and I think you have nothing to worry about, re fibroids/cysts can't help you there but at least you know and now is the time to focus on sorting all that out so that you can try again soon :)

wonny sorry to hear that you are joining our thread but you are warmly welcomed here. Please ask/rant/yell as much as you want - I can safely say that the lovely ladies on this thread have made this terrible experience much easier. My advice it take it easy over the next few days - you will be dealing with a lot of emotions and don't feel guilty about spending some time off if you need to. I found it helped me to live my emotions out rather to suppress them and I am shocked at how "normal" I am feeling today. It's been less than a week but I feel like I am much stronger so yes, it does get better in time.

oh Issy thanks for the clarification, am dreading the 15th but in a way looking forward to putting it all behind me.....

Hi all im hoping i can join in with your chat, heres my story.
Im on my third pregnancy had some spotting at six weeks had a scan, they could only see the scan have had to wait 2 weeks now, i go tomorrow to have it confirmed if its a bligted ovum! Had blood done and they were going up but slowly! the last 2 weeks has been awfull worked the first been on the sick the 2nd. I too am going to opt for a erpc as had one in my first prgnancy due to a mmc at 9 weeks, i then got pg three months later with my DD. i just wanted to join you so i had someone to talk too, i can share our thoughts. sorry i dont know all your names yet as im new to this but felt that i just needed some support. i wanted also to know what are your opinions about TTC again?

hey sunny I do yes, through AXA but as far as I know they don't really cover pregnancy unless it's an emergency or surgical op so if this fall under this category then probably yes. I will give them a call def. I heard that the Lindo wing will be closed due to renovations until next year. I am getting everything done so far at UCLH, I will give them a call to check their waiting lists on Monday.

nurse sorry to hear about your scan and yes, welcome to this post :) This is my first pregnancy so really have no experience with all this but hubby and I def want to ttc as soon as we can ...I guess there is no right or wrong answer you have to do what is right for you. Well, unless there any medical reasons that warrant waiting I guess...but I heard that you can ttc ideally after your fist period after the mc.

15 weeks thats disgusting! Im a sister at the mt local hospital and i find that unacceptable im glad they rang to apologise! congrats on your pg is nice to hear some positive stories! I feel bad for wanting to TTC but i know what they will tell me tomorrow as i have had a mmc and normal pg and i dont feel pregnant and with the bleeding i know its not good i had none with ny DD. I feel i need the erpc too im full of spots, coldsores feel so run down too (stress is not helping too)
I anyone having a ERPC this week? i have a feeling that i will have mine on tuesday< the hospital where i work is pretty good, had it done the same day with my MMC.

feels weird i have had it before but still feel nervous!

oh and thanks for letting me join your post :)

Hi girls, Another from the the Jue in June thread to join you if I may. I am a mum of 2 and am suffering first MC. Started with brown spotting on tuesday til fri AM. GP did hcg thurs which was nearly 10000, so felt more positve. Turned to red with clots and tummy ache (sorry tmi) friday night and has continued.

I have got to vent about how crap the NHS is at dealing with early miscarriage. When I found out I was PG I called GP to advise and was immediately given midwifes number as "we dont do PG's here" So when the spotting started I called Midwives...........Call your GP you are too early for us!! Did call GP who after my tears agreed to see me and then he was really nice, giving me the HCG and arranging scan with EPU for tuesday. He then said if your bleeding becomes heavy or you start getting cramps then call us and you will get put through to the out of hours if we are closed. So I did this, and sobbed in the waiting room to be told we don't know why you are here you will have to wait until monday and see your GP. I know nothing can stop it once it's started to change the outcome but I just wanted to "know" for sure with a scan or a second HCG.
Today I had my appointment for booking in, so I went along anyway, not to book in but to tell them the situation. She said "oh you shouldn't have come" I wanted a blood test and had made up my mind I wasn't leaving without one. She said oh thats not proceedure! They were gonna take my blood anyway for the booking in!! It all comes out the same vein I said!! She then said theres no one here to test it anyway. Now that was a lie! I know its a lie as my Step mum is the heamatologist (sp) and is working today! So I said that and all of a sudden " Oh I know her, yes I will do it for you"!! Talk about an old boys club!
Sorry for such a long ranting post but I just wanted to share how stupid the system is where we are in limbo and passed around.
Sorry to meet you all under such sad circumstances xxx

Star glad you've got a definite answer and I hope the referal to the EPU goes smoothly.

Nurse47 it feels odd to say welcome but I'm glad you've found us. As for ttc-ing, I always find it difficult to wait - the consultant said to wait for 3 cycles after my first mmc nd that was hell, since then I've always started trying in earnest after my first post mc period (to make sure my body is back on track). The garklet is a results of ttc-ing the first full cycle after my second mmc so obviously works sometimes ;) Do wahtever feels right for you.

brought So sorry to read of your experiences with gps and midwives - its all too familiar. How heavy is your bleeding? If its heavy (changing pads more often than every hour) then I would suggest going to A&E. The sole reason for this is to be taken seriously and to get the level of care you deserve. During my 4th mc I did this rather than get fobbed off by gps and was taken to urgent gynae where they did the bloods and gave me a scan without question. It was obviously bad news but I saw for myself that there was no hope, I got to spend some time with lovely sympathetic staff and although I was only there for a few hours it did my wellbeing the world of good. Rather cynically, the other thing that will get you some attention is if you have a sharp pain on one side - I did in fact have some pain in one of my mcs and was surprised how quickly this got me some attention in case it was ectopic. It might seem out of order doing this and no doubt I'll be told off by other MNers but it got me a scan, it got me a blood test and I was able to get on with my mc in peace without costing the NHS any more money! xx

Right, I've gone and bought some pads in ready and just waiting for the morning to call gp. Sorry if any typos. Am on mobile phone as out the house till this evening!!
So sorry if you don't want to read this on a Sunday but last night I had huge jelly thing come out. Unsure whether it was to do with m/c or just the lubricant used on vaginal ultrasound.
If I'm not covered by private medical insurance but wondered if I could have the erpc privately? Any ideas on costs?
At first, dh wanted to try again and I said no more children. I felt quite calm after this second scan but he came out not wanting any more which made me realise I did!

Sorry. Only let me post so much.
Anyway, we spoke last night and he was wanting to wait till may/June time but to be honest, I don't fancy going on the pill to just come off again. Horrible side effects with me. Really bad skin etc, which has only calmed down the last few weeks. Decided then that given everything ok with me, we'll try asap. It would be nice having a little one that's not the youngest in the year so a September, October, November baby would be lovely, :)
Welcome nurse, broughthimround and Jasmine. Wish we weren't all here but we are.........keep smiling everyone :) x

brought I am sorry you are joining us but weird as it feels welcome :)
I can't believe what they are making you go through - I mean don't these people know that going thru a mc is mentally, emotionally and physically probably one of the worst things a woman can experience and to put all that stress additionally seems so unnecessary :(

I must say I was lucky enough to have a good experience so far with the NHS. It is true if you go to A&E with a sharp pain they will get on your case asap, I panicked and when I was hurting for 2 hrs and it didn't go away I eventually went to A&E and that's how I got my 2 scans, in hindsight I wish I didn't. I am still in this weird limbo phase - so far nothing, absolutely no symptoms of neither pregnancy or mc!! Honestly, if someone just told this was all a dream and I imagined the whole pregnancy I would believe them!! Feels unreal and I do hope something will happen before the 15th otherwise am just getting that ERPC and moving on.

Re ttc I want to try as soon as I can - I really want a child and I feel that we are finally ready for this huge commitment and since we would like to have at least 2 if possible I need to get on it before age starts becoming an issue :(