So sad for you spilttheteaagain I lost my little boy 'Jack' 29th April this year he was 17weeks + 4 days. You must be absolutely beside yourself.
I will try to help with some of your questions. I too had periody type pains after having the initial tablet, but it didn't lead to anything. Yes DH can stay all the time. We had a private room too, on the delivery ward but away from it all if you know what I mean. The hospital will provide you with food & drinks if you want them. You can take your own music etc. They even gave us a tv. I took a couple of magazines and we did crosswords together. I changed into something more comfortable when we got there, tracksuit bottoms & vest. Make sure you take some toiletries & towel for a shower after the delivery.
The midwife inserted 3/4 tablets into the cervix, to get things going. Things got going within 2 hours (from memory) as in this was when the pain started so I had some codeine to take the edge off. After 4 hours I was struggling to cope with the pain and asked for something stronger (they give you morphine). So the midwife went off to fetch this. But I had a feeling that something was going to pop, so went to visit the loo, which was in our room. Our DS was born into my hands. Soon enough the midwife came along to help me back to the bed, where I delivered the placenta.
I had asked not to see my DS because I didn't feel like I would benefit from it. The midwife took our DS away for an inital examination and to remove the sac. As they are born within the sac & waters.
She came back shortly to make sure I was still ok and to present us with our memory box. Inside were photos, foot & handprints, the teddy bear that he was photographed with. Some name bands. And Sands info.
I immediately wanted to look at the photos. There pictured, was the tiniest little one you can imagine, dressed in a knitted jacket. The only thing that took me by surprise is that they he was coated in a clear gel/jelly. This is not removed because it could damage the precious skin.
I didn't hold him, which I only very slightly regret - but don't think I would've gained anything from it.
The silence was so loud the moment he was born.
It is a very emotional, sad & quite scary day. But you will get through it.
Then you must give yourself plenty of time to heal.
Our little man was born with the cord around his neck 6 times. We had a post mortem to rule out anything else, because I had had a previous MMC at 15 weeks (baby had died at 12 weeks). Nothing came back from the post mortem only about the cord.
We had him cremated at a private service, and he is now home with us. I did carry him in his coffin into the crematorium.
I look at his photos and the things in his memory box quite often.
It is a long emotional struggle back to normality. I still cry a few times a week.
Feel very upset for you and your DH (crying now).
Its so unfair that these little ones are taken from us.
If you need to know anything else, please ask away.
Many hugs.
Shall be thinking of you tomorrow. Let us know how you are.
xxx