Flatness, cba ness, boredom

[Fififizz]

Just posting about this which is/has been one of my main menopause symptoms and maybe just part of ageing and the change. I just can’t be bothered with anything much the mundane life stuff especially but also the things I used to enjoy like music, fashion, food. It all seems ‘meh’ and a bit pointless. I’m on HRT but have been tweaking the regime and dose for the last 5 years and still don’t feel that great. Can anyone else relate? Any tips or solutions? I have hypothyroidism but that’s now successfully medicated. The cba ness is a drag though. Thanks

I can totally relate. This is 100% me. I've read that testosterone may be helpful but I CBA to even do anything about that. Have serious meh'ness about work and life in general and no not depressed. Just menopausal. What joy. Not.

I sympathise. I feel the same. Everything seems an effort. Things I used to like just seem a bit trivial.

I feel the same. Have also heard testosterone is good for motivation. I had my levels tested and they were practically non existent. Think it’s a long process tweaking the HRT. This is my next step when I have my follow up.

Exactly the same. I'm well through the menopause and have been left with no motivation to do anything. Like you say, it all seems meh... I have a million things to do, but procrastinate all the time. I never used to be like this and it annoys the hell out of me!

Thanks for replying. I’m sorry you feel the same but it’s good to know I’m not alone. I’ve been tweaking my HRT for the last 5 years without the relief. I now have zero hormones of my own so do need to pursue the testosterone too but like you I find summoning up the will to engage with it all is difficult when I just feel so meh and cba about everything 🙈

Same here too but I've adjusted my thinking and am now mostly content to take a fleeting moment of joy from a nice sunset or seeing a full moon or appreciating my garden or a nice slice of toast. The small things of life! I occasionally miss my old party girl days but I accept that my youth has gone and the pace of my life is different. Maybe join one of the Dull Women groups on fb and see that you're not alone in no longer caring about shopping, music, socialising etc.

Do you ever get angry? Anger is good as I've learnt how to channel it into getting things done; weed a border, defrost the freezer, declutter a cupboard. And then the work/ activity brings a peace and sense of satisfaction.

This is a really good post. I think part of my mehness and feeling a bit sad is a loss of youth? I don’t have the energy to go out and stay out late. My sleep is crap and I get awful hangovers. Even a few glasses of wine with friends and I’ll feel it the next day.

So I used to get a lot of pleasure socialising. Trying to find new ways to get that hit. I do run a lot but I’ve now joined a running club. Spend more time in the garden, take the dog for long walks.

It is hard though!

No, I don’t even seem to get angry enough to get a spurt even from that. It’s like a constant flatness. I never used to be like this. I used to be able to crack on and do things. It’s a very odd feeling.

It is hard. I think the period from 49 ish to 53 ish is really difficult. Hormones are changing at a rate of knots, the elasticity and collagen in the skin is disappearing fast and there's no amount of filler that'll bring it back, so your looks change quite considerably, as does your hair and body. There's no escaping that your youth is firmly gone. Many are juggling elderly parents and/or crushing grief. The optimism of youth has gone. Work can feel pointless. It's classic midlife crisis time. It's why men become walking clichés. It's a tough transitional time.

Yes, I think adjusting my thinking is part and parcel but I also do feel that some hormonal help is needed. I’m barely interested in eating as there’s no enthusiasm or joy in food either so that can’t be right. It’s a very odd feeling and I do need to pull my finger out to try and get the hormone help as well as other things I can do like shifting mindset but it’s like a push pull thing. My rational head says there’s help to be had but my complete lack of hormones means I’m struggling to drive myself to do anything about it. I never used to be like this. It feels so strange.

Could you try a check list?
Make a list, follow it, and see if your mood picks up that way.

Things like:

1. Go to cinema with friend
2. Throw away all worn out socks
3. Rearrange book case
4. Walk 4 miles

I keep telling myself that it's only temporary until the hormones settle down and my body adjusts, so I need to keep on with life so that I don't sabotage my future self. Fake it till you make it.

Yes, I’m 55 and whilst I had some of my own hormones I wasn’t quite as bad. Now I have none and I notice all the things you’ve mentioned.

The dropping away of enthusiasm for the things that had always interested me - fashion, ambition at work, partying, make up - happened to me. All the things that used to get me revved up just seemed trivial and dull.

I think it's part of a transition to the next stage of life. After a year or two of the general meh a trickle of energy for new things crept in. Sea swimming, incredible wild walks with the dog, making interesting clothes rather than buying fashion, days out with girlfriends rather than getting lashed in bars, the garden, traveling, cooking and living really clean. I never got a flicker of interest in the old stuff, but now I'm through the menopause my life is full, content, packed with a different type of energy and joy.

Yes I feel the exact same.

I'm 53, post menopausal and knackered. I'm also dealing with secondary breast cancer and the treatment for that, in addition to the usual daily life grind.

My memory and patience are shot to pieces and I can't even have HRT again now.

My usual response to anything these days is "oh" or " Buggar". Very odd.

Small talk annoys the shit out of me and everything seems a huge effort!

Oh the joys!

My grandma had such a zest for life. She travelled, wanted to know about the internet, wanted to visit a McDonald's and IKEA as she'd heard about them, still loved jewellery and perfume. I know she went through this too and came out the other side and I want to be old like she was.

Oh goodness I have found my people. OP I could’ve written your post. Word. For. Word.

It just seems a symptom not many people mention and yet for me it’s one of the worst problems I have. The physical side hasn’t impacted me currently anything like I feel the mental side has. 🤷‍♀️

Can I join the tribe.

1. I’ve tried testosterone it did zero for me I am afraid but I know friends who it’s helped.
2. I have no libido.
3. Even shoes hurt my feet.
4. I have bought a heated fleece blanket and I’m more interested in turning that on than my partner.
5. Everything is dry. Hair, eyes, skin.
6. I now understand why elasticated waists are a thing.
7. I keep getting catalogues from Damart and direct creation places.
8. I used to love style/fashion/beauty. I mean really loved. I am thinking of buying something from the Damart catalogue.
9. I am the same age as Jennifer Aniston and I know it’s her job to look good but crikey you can tell I am 55.
10. I am turning into my mother.

Can I be your people, too?

Thanks. This gives me some hope I’ll transition into the next stage eventually. Currently I just feel stuck and sadly we had to let our elderly dog go a few months ago. That was very hard and miss him as much as I do I don’t feel in the right place to get another one at the moment.

@PeggyMitchellsCameo buy some gloves to satisfy the urge then put the catalogue out with the recycling.

Absolutely. The more the merrier doesn’t seem appropriate or appealing for the way we feel but hopefully sharing insight makes us realise we aren’t on our own in how we’re feeling.

I’m so glad you started this op. I’ve been really struggling to tell my dp how I feel. I might show him this. He just thinks I’m losing the plot I think. It’s a horrible feeling. I’ve always had such zest for life and now I just feel meh about everything. I’m sorry you all feel the same but I’m glad it’s not just me iykwim.

Yes @PeggyMitchellsCameo resist resist resist the damart!

do not go gently into the long johns goodnight.