Flatness, cba ness, boredom

[Fififizz]

Just posting about this which is/has been one of my main menopause symptoms and maybe just part of ageing and the change. I just can’t be bothered with anything much the mundane life stuff especially but also the things I used to enjoy like music, fashion, food. It all seems ‘meh’ and a bit pointless. I’m on HRT but have been tweaking the regime and dose for the last 5 years and still don’t feel that great. Can anyone else relate? Any tips or solutions? I have hypothyroidism but that’s now successfully medicated. The cba ness is a drag though. Thanks

50

I’m 55. I didn’t feel quite so flat at 50 more ups and downs of peri but I think when I completely lost my own sex hormones (which I now know are zero through blood tests) I entered the perpetual flat and cba ness zone. It’s horrible as I never used to be like this. HRT hasn’t really helped so far as I’ve been tweaking and haven’t found a helpful regime. I think testosterone is my next thing to try but worried it won’t work for me or might affect my already very fine hair. I have given up all vices too except caffeine which I know doesn’t help my general anxiety but I refuse to give up. I’m with the before noon brigade though as caffeine later in the day affects my bladder and ability to sleep. I’m not even that fussed about food anymore. I know diet is important but I just can’t get excited about food or cooking. I’m sorry others are struggling too but comforted to know it’s no just me feeling this way!

what is CBA?

I’d tell you but can’t be ar@@ed 🤪
@biedrona

49, possibly peri but still having fairly regular periods, they are just a week or so out to their usual dates and can be a little heavier/longer than usual. But:

CBA with anything. There is so much to do at home (think rubbish clearing from the front garden etc which involves several runs to the tip, type of thing), usually I would be all over this. But I now do not care at all
No energy
Happy to just potter at home
No interest in shopping, in fact going out to a busy place like a shopping centre , supermarket etc feels me with dread and too many people makes me angry
I am angry at the slightest thing. This is also why I avoid the supermarkets etc
Happy to not leave the house all weekend
Don't want to go on nights out unless its to 1 pub with a seat/table, no loud noise and I can be home by 10pm at the latest. Happy to stay out later on some occasions.
Standing up to a close friend who can take the piss when given. Don't care what she thinks/makes of my reactions anymore (but I am still polite)
Sleeping well, no hot flushes but oh my goodness do I ache all the time
Noticeably slower pace for everything now
Cant eat as much as I used to
Tired all the time, despite good sleep
Always been a bit of a harmless flirt with no intentions, but I couldn't care less about that anymore and if I found myself single (after 25 years) I really CNBA to date again
I can easily cry at everything
I feel so very old

Oh the anger and irritation when out in public places?! I hear ya! I used to be so laid back, now I dread going out and when I do, I want to beat people to death within 5 minutes! It's awful feeling like this. I am so glad it's just not me 💐

@MoonWoman69 oh god yes. I am consumed with anger if the supermarket is out of stock/stock has been moved within the store/people dithering in front of me annoys the hell out of me/I am frustrated with most of the supermarket processes eg my local sainsburys needs you to retain the receipt to open the barrier to get out if you have used the self service tills. I (politely) whinge to the poor mcs staff at the cost of their food these days when I am only buying a burger for my DD through the drive through. And don't even get me started when modern day tech fails. I am consumed with RAGE.

I want a simple, hassle free, no dramas life with very few people, online shopping only, away from any crowds, keep myself to myself

I can’t go the the supermarket anymore unless I really have to. And then it has to be Waitrose as there’s less people and I don’t have to wait at the tills.
Everyone in there pisses me off - getting in my way! Walking too slow…

I totally agree with the last two posts!

I really want to go and hole myself up on a remote island in Scotland with my dog. Nature and peace and quiet are the only things I appreciate at the moment!

I have just put myself through my weekly exercise, and my muscles just CBA 😆. I no longer worry if I can't get through the exercises in class. I keep going though.

I am mildly pissed off with Waitrose, because although I like that it is a small shop where you don't have to walk miles to find the next thing on the shelf, they have discontinued the free newspaper. 🙄

I just have a weekly shopping delivery at the same tome / day each week now and add to it through the week., other things bought online mainly via amazon. feel like I am becoming a bit of a recluse, but the people in town give me the rage.

I’ve felt like this too.

Another one plotting my escape to a remote part of Scotland with little contact with humans 😆

I can't bear the supermarket shop anymore, so many ditherers, drives me insane.

On HRT which takes the edge off but still pretty achy. Force myself to exercise daily, eat well, not drink much alcohol, but everything feels so ... meh.

Don't get me started on driving. The rage!

My teenager is so full of life & I am just... exhausted mostly.

I once went to the Scilly isles and that was beautiful and so quiet. Would be bliss.

I spend most of the time I have free curled up in the dark listening to piano music. Can't even stand radio / news due to people and talking etc

I feel so much like this and unfortunately I can no longer tolerate some of my friends. Post menopause and on HRT but not testosterone as it made my skin extremely itchy. Also have an elderly mum with dementia which is really challenging and upsetting. Don't feel like going out or socialising. One particular friend seems really smug about how she's "sailing through the menopause" and I just can't bear to see her at the moment. I also feel like everyone hates me and I'm really boring... which is probably true at the moment, sadly. 😢

I feel like this too and the sad thing is I don't really care....

Oh that’s me with the supermarket thing too. When did dawdling around the supermarket become a thing? I’m in and out, a quick trolley dash but preferably a hand basket. I just find engaging with food another monotonous chore at the moment. I didn’t appreciate how much hormones impacted the whole zest for life thing but I’m definitely worse since my natural hormones have dried up. I wasn’t exactly sailing through but I was much brighter. I feel I’m drying up on both the inside and the outside now. Sign me up for a hermitage on Arran with just a couple of sheep for company :)

Yes I have a smug friend like this. What is more annoying is that she drinks like a fish and sleeps like a baby! FFS.

I’m thinking of going on holiday by myself as my teenagers are grumpy and holidays with them are painful. But not sure I can be arsed.

@IsItWickedNotToCare I could have written this word for word, with the exception I am peri and not (yet) on HRT. A specific friend irritates me with her smugness of 'I'm not getting any symptoms''. I don't actually believe that. The last few years she has become needy, entitled, too big for her boots and imo bitches about friends

Oh I fantasise about moving to a remote cottage regularly - just me and my dog. Not Arran though, too many pesky holiday makers - somewhere way up north beside the sea or a loch, with somewhere to grow fruit and veg and a wee shop within driving distance for the essentials. I’d be as happy as a pig in the proverbial.

Why do you all want to live somewhere cold and damp?
I need warmth and sunshine!

Ooh yes I didn’t think about that. Just lack of people!

Maybe up a mountain somewhere in France then. I still get joy from mountains and lakes.

I think CBA ness sounds like most men I have known in my lifetime. Eight years post-menopause and I think now it's my time to not be arsed about anything.

Women can be control freaks and that's in part due to sex hormones., because it's important for reproduction and childcare.

One thing that works for me nowadays is to focus on one specific task at a time. Forget about multitasking. Enjoy every moment even if it's a CBA moment. Why not? We're entitled to be lazy, tired, and indifferent. We have done enough. Most women have/had to work, look after children and elderly parents, while most men only have/had to work. This is bound to have consequences.

Menopause is a turning point in our lives. Do we fight it or do we embrace it? Is menopause killing us or is it freeing us from the reproductive burden? Can we find a middle ground between these extremes?

Perimenopause is a hormonal rollercoaster, but so is puberty and, at least in my case, adulthood, because my periods and PMT were not what I would call a nice monthly experience. So what's different now, in menopause? Is menopause (ie, the hormone withdrawal) the culprit or is it also a middle age crisis thing?

Why do you think this flatness is happening?

I sincerely think it's because it's about time to slow down and focus on what is really important for us now that we're free from reproduction/childcare, and nature's way of doing it is putting our ovaries and to rest in peace.

The problem is that after 4 billion years of evolution, sex hormones can affect our bodies in other ways that have become important for women who are living longer periods of time after menopause.

However, despite being more empowered and informed about menopause, many women still struggle to break free from the stigma of middle age and feel 'useless' because they don't fit in the 'feminine' stereotypes any more (young, beautiful and sexy slut, lovely wife, below average paid worker, funny granny).

Each woman is a different universe and only you can know what is important for you, but this is not a straightforward answer, it takes time, effort and patience to know thyself.