Flatness, cba ness, boredom

[Fififizz]

Just posting about this which is/has been one of my main menopause symptoms and maybe just part of ageing and the change. I just can’t be bothered with anything much the mundane life stuff especially but also the things I used to enjoy like music, fashion, food. It all seems ‘meh’ and a bit pointless. I’m on HRT but have been tweaking the regime and dose for the last 5 years and still don’t feel that great. Can anyone else relate? Any tips or solutions? I have hypothyroidism but that’s now successfully medicated. The cba ness is a drag though. Thanks

I bet it didn't, I bet you look great. 🌷

Oh god this is me too. I’m 45 and feel like I’m 85. I have no motivation to do anything anymore. Stuff I used to love just leaves me flat. I feel exhausted all the time and everything aches. I miss people, and when I see them I just feel tired and let down. Even the dog annoys me at the moment, and I generally love him more than life itself. I started HRT over the summer, and had a brief boost where I felt like myself again, but it went away and I now think it was probably just placebo. I would be keen to try testosterone but can’t muster up any energy to get the ball rolling again. I just hate life right now and can’t even be bothered to fix it.

@EverEdith OMG! I thought that was just me with the wanting to scream as though something horrific is going to happen! Does the feeling rush up your body from your feet in like a "fizzy" kind of way? I get it in bed too and just want to jump up, scream and run out of the house! I really have to fight it... It's absolutely awful... 💐

@MoonWoman69 from my boots. It’s like everyone I’ve ever known is in absolute danger- but I know it’s lack of hormones. My brain takes over and I don’t scream. I feel for you. It took me a couple of years to realise it was the feckin hormones. I dropped down from responsibility. I finished work 8 months before I can claim pension at 55 at a reduced rate. I never cried or got stressed. Ever.

Now it happens in bed, outside, in response to a very simple request or nothing.
I’ve gone mad and haven’t noticed!
Fizzing sounds a good way to describe it. But I know there is nothing behind it and no one knows as I walk round Lidl.

Totally agree with this. I’ve never been the same since entering menopause. Don’t take HRT but it coincided with losing a parent and dealing with some personal trauma and difficult things going on in the family. I had years of chronic insomnia. Lack of motivation, lack of joy, feeling like a different person. I’m on the other side of it now but I am still very much a different person . I don’t like crowds, noise, my tolerance for city life is much lower, etc etc. I think looking for the joy in the small things is key.

@EverEdith I feel every bit of that. Sending hugs and positive vibes 💐

God I relate to this!

@MoonWoman69 thank you - and you. What’s that saying ‘I’ve found my people!’ Xx

One thing I have done which helps, is take up oil painting.It's a hobby that gives me joy and fulfilment ( not into walking or gardening etc ). Makes me feel a bit better about getting older and not feeling so vibrant.

Me too, I cba with anything that requires physical effort this year.

I love my work but hate the organisation I work for.

I used to love doing two sports, cba at all. My idea of a good weekend would be not leaving the house, reading, pottering, sticking something in the oven to eat.

Not on HRT but have been struggling for years, have gynae issues, it has never been suggested.

Single parent to teens, I need to keep earning at at least my current level for ten years. I’ve had enough of it all.

@Appalonia I’ve signed up for a painting class.

The general malaise is close to breaking me. I’ve never been enormously active but even going for a gentle yoga class or stroll is unappealing at present. I have however always been ambitious and full of plans and ideas. Now I just can’t be arsed.

It’s so difficult to figure out what’s “just” exhaustion - because frankly I’m run off my feet and what is menopause.

urghh

Think I need to join too. Literally CBA to do anything these days . I look at the dust on a couple of photo frames under the lamp in the living room and think I must do that tomorrow. Tomorrow comes and I just can't be bothered to do that simple task. Now little cobwebs have formed amongst the dust too...
I can only just muster enough energy to do my job and force myself outside once a day for a walk. Both of those things are a pain at the moment.

I just feel done. And bored.

I want to join please. Big time cba plus some existential angst too. No hrt, some testosterone but it's not cutting it. Would gladly not have sex again - I hadn't honestly realised how much hormones had affected my behaviour and some poor decisions when I was younger. Now just cba.
Having no commitments on a weekend causes deep joy. Well actually just slight contentment; joy left the building years ago.

I’m definitely going to adopt the phrase
“Cba ness.” 😂

I started painting a few months ago and really enjoyed it at first, bought loads of art materials, watched a ton of YouTube tutorials and produced a couple of quite nice pieces.
I'm struggling to get back into it now though and it's making me feel guilty.

I think the dark days make it even worse and I miss the nice light.

I feel the same. I miss being a teenager and getting excited about every little thing, and actually feeling things! I feel flat a lot of the time.

One thing that helps me a bit is seeing friends who are not like this. For example, I have a (menopausal) friend who always dresses up, wears really interesting clothes, and wears makeup and jewellery and perfume every time she steps out the house. I’m never going to be like that, but when I see her she does inspire me to have fun with fashion again, and to be creative with my wardrobe, and to make the best of myself even though I’m past my best 😂
Another friend is always going out to the cinema, to events, to yoga classes, to retreats. She inspires me as well.
Spending time around people who put effort into their lives still, does seem to motive me a bit.

Absolute CBA. From the minute I'm up, I'm counting down the hours until bedtime!

I'm in the wrong job for my time of life, but CBA to do anything about it now.

I look forward to my one coffee a day ( which fucks with my bladder) and I'm always spending on what turn out to be rubbish products to help me sleep.

Ah well...

I miss that too @LeaveALittleNote - that excited feeling of endless possibilities and opportunities. I’m looking forward to retirement in a few years, but even that feels a bit cba with all the planning. In the meantime I’ll just look at the cobwebs on my ceiling and post shite on MN.

Yeah I only like mornings because I get to have one coffee or two. Never after lunch and yes messes with my bladder on my dog walk but I don’t care.

Hate the afternoons- boring , can’t have coffee and now I can’t even have wine in the evening..Just look forward to going to bed (to sleep badly - after taking 10 supplements that don’t work. I’m even immune to melatonin).

@Delatron yep I've got enough supplements to open my own bloody shop! All a load of crap! Melatonin is the only thing I haven't tried.

If you’re not sleeping well I can highly recommend Trazadone (although you would have to persuade your GP to prescribe it - I take it for anxiety) and the website or podcast called Nothing Much Happens bedtime stories part. Takes around 2-3 weeks while you train your brain to make the link between her voice and the stories, and sleep - but it’s absolutely brilliant.

Thank you! I thought I saw something recommended but couldn’t remember the name. This sounds like it. My GP gave me some awful sleep pill that made me so groggy the next day I would rather just have the broken sleep and non grogginess!!

Will check out the podcast too. Thanks!

My GP prescribed progesterone for help with sleep.

haven’t taken it yet as it’s clearly supposed to be used alongside better sleep hygiene (not least because you have to take it an hour before sleep) and I don’t currently have that level of organisation/forethought/arsedness in me

Hope it works for you @Delatron 😊 I take the smallest dose of 50mg and between that and the podcast I drift off every night with no grogginess in the morning. I do still wake up through the night sometimes but that’s usually for a wee, and then the podcast gets me back over.