Flatness, cba ness, boredom

[Fififizz]

Just posting about this which is/has been one of my main menopause symptoms and maybe just part of ageing and the change. I just can’t be bothered with anything much the mundane life stuff especially but also the things I used to enjoy like music, fashion, food. It all seems ‘meh’ and a bit pointless. I’m on HRT but have been tweaking the regime and dose for the last 5 years and still don’t feel that great. Can anyone else relate? Any tips or solutions? I have hypothyroidism but that’s now successfully medicated. The cba ness is a drag though. Thanks

Same here! I had surgical menopause 2 years ago so after dealing with the trauma of that I'm left with feelings of CBA about most things!
Even time spent with my lovely adult children! I actually feel a bit like 'can I go home now?'

I'm going to try the checklist idea up thread.

I am actually better than I was and just trying to concentrate on what makes me happy and ignoring everyone else!

Lol, I’m Jennifer’s age too and the only thing I have in common with her is very fine hair 😂 I do wonder though if she gets fed up of having to look and be a similar way for the camera and if secretly she’d be in the CBA club too. 🤷‍♀️

@Fififizz Oh god love, you're grieving for your dear dog on top of all this. Losing a beloved dog is such heartbreak. The pain is awful and you'll have lost a lot of the motivation and routine that your dog gave you, so that perhaps partly explains your lack of get up and go. Be gentle to yourself, take time to heal.

Add - sandals with velcro not buckles as I can't reach the buckles and they fall in the wrong part of my varifocals so I can't see them 🤷‍♀️🤣

Please may I be in the tribe too?

I had 6 or 7 glorious weeks in the summer where I first started HRT and felt absolutely flipping fabulous, I had energy and I was interested in life again. It seems to have gone, I'm tweaking my doses and my thyroid is being looked at by having had that reminder of how life used to be is almost worse 😢

I'll join! I'm 50 and have no energy for anything. I go to work and I come home. I'm off this week for half term and I'm supposed to be decorating DD1's bedroom. Both DDs moved out many months ago so it should already have been done but I've no energy or enthusiasm at all. DH will be home after work and he's supposed to be helping me with some bits that I'll struggle with on my own but I haven't even started yet.

Can I join , I’m 51 and in addition to menopause, my 19 year old son is having a mental health crisis, and is at home all the time . I can see myself rapidly physically aging and it’s awful.

I don't know where menopause symptoms begin and grumpy old git-dom end.

I've had a horrible realisation that my dearest, closest friend has got dull conversation and a limited world view. I hate myself for this as she is so kind, generous and loving. I can hardly believe it but I don't really look forward to seeing her. I don't think I can medicate myself out of this, I'm already on HRT.

Maybe menopause takes off a layer of tolerance or something. In some ways it's a blessed relief and a big money saver too, but it's very odd when you can't be arsed catching up with your 'bestie'.

Oh I've defo got 'can I go home now' syndrome. Can't think of the last time I actually wanted to stay out.

Same here. I'm enjoying it! It's empowering, enlightening, a moment of revelation. No pain, no gain. Maybe peri/menopause should be regarderd as a sort of initiation ceremony for wiser women. Don't get me wrong, it's a horrible experience, but it shouldn't have been if we had been educated about it and prepared for it when we were young. I think the scientifc term for this flatness, boredom feeling is anhedonia, a condition in which someone is unable to experience pleasure. The definition is interesting because it makes me think that oestrogen affected the reward system in my brain, enhancing my feeling of pleasure with things like fashion, make-up, etc, that are important for reproduction (mate attraction goal). Once my oestrogen levels have dropped, these things are no longer important (for reproduction purposes), and it makes total sense that I'm no longer interested in them. Now that I am 8 years post-menopause I am learning to enjoy other things and they are gradually firing my brain reward system again, and even resuming some old pleasures, not because they are reproduction-driven but because I enjoy them for most selfish reasons than perpetuating the species.

55 here too... Fine hair to the point of bald areas; have resorted to Skechers slip ins, (nothing to do with not wanting to touch my shoes, just cba bending down to put them on!!!) I keep looking at all my make up then putting it back; think of excuses to not do something before I'm even asked; perked up at an advert the other day for the Fashion World catalogue or some such like; my close old friend aggravates me too now, everything is a drama and I just don't give a shit about her neighbours husbands medical issues; and don't get me started on the peeing when coughing and sneezing! The list is bloody endless! 🙄

Testosterone, 100mcg oestrogen patch, Mirena, vaginal oestrogen.

PLUS

Therapy/counselling

PLUS all the other shit like diet, exercise (though I've always done those)

And now I dance around the kitchen again. I'm like a new woman. It took 12 months to all kick in.

So why don't you do an econsult and get the testosterone blood test ball rolling. The sooner you prove your levels are non existent (mine were), the sooner you can collect a prescription.

Watch out - 3 weeks and I practically jumped on my husband.

This is a recently published scientific article on reward seeking behaviours in perimenopausal women and the effect of transdermal estradiol. It's a small study, but it is very pertinent to this topic.

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0306453023003177

Click View Open Manuscript to read the full article.

Can I join too please?

I'm not down, I just feel completely demotivated and now have the concentration span of a gnat with concentration problems. There's loads of little things needing done in the house but I just cba - can't be bothered with the hassle of finding a tradesperson. Going on a long haul trip next year, flights are booked but can't be bothered looking at accommodation. It's that type of thing that I used to do without thinking about - now it's like I just want to sit and stare at things. I still see my friends, exercise, walk my lovely dog, go out and do the things I've always done but it's more like muscle memory rather than thinking 'yay, let's do this!'. Certainly can't be bothered with any drama any more, and find myself reading the awful things in the news in a sort of bored, detached way.

Oh - and I don't know and don't care what's for dinner, family. Why would I?

Me too! Also have underactive thyroid. Thinning hair, feel so tired, can't sleep. Dr won't prescribe HRT as I have v high cholesterol. Lost a stone this year which helped a bit, but the weight coming off my face made me look haggard. Hate it.

now it's like I just want to sit and stare at things

YES!😂

Can I join the CBA gang? Changed username especially for this.

I’m 53, take HRT and I usually feel good on it but recently it’s as if it’s wearing off. Bugger. Today I feel very irritable and bad tempered yet on the verge of tears, it reminds me of bad PMT.

I have a mountain of chores to get through, several work emails, a meeting to prepare for and dinner to consider for ungrateful teens but I just want to lie on the sofa under a blanket and watch shit TV like the Real Housewives. I’d booked a Pilates class for 7pm but have a headache and CBA to squeeze into my leggings so am going to cancel.

This is not the real me 😭

I bet Jennifer would love to stuff her face with a massive chocolate eclair but instead has to nibble on a fish oil tablet and a lettuce leaf.

Jen looks so unwell in real life. It's v sad.

As well as cba, I often feel like randomly screaming as if something horrific is about to happen. I call that my wtf moment that subsides very quickly.
If I journeled it would read cba, cba, cba, WTF, oh cba.
I ran a department once of 12 people successfully…… cba, cba WTF, cba….

This is me. All the hobbies I had I now just can't be bothered with. So I'm just left with nothing.

I absolutely hate it, it's so frustrating.

I bought a house with a huge garden as I had always wanted to create a beautiful big garden. It's full of weeds. Had a greenhouse built. I haven't grown a single thing in it. I used to love cooking and have 150 recipe books. Now I just want to buy meals from Cook because I cba.

I think that peri and menopause can cause Cholesterol to increase and I thought that some HRT can help with this? Maybe it’s more complicated and individual but I see lots of GPs (who do zero and I mean zero hours training on menopause) say women can’t have HRT for certain reasons and it’s simply not true.

Oh me too for this club please.

Im just so tired!

I take HRT including testosterone at great expense. I don’t think it’s doing anything remarkable.

I have tried cutting out sugar, alcohol. I exercise and love my dogs but honestly what a drag.

im definitely not depressed.

ironically I work in a role dealing with Chronic Fatigue syndrome so I know (and follow) all the advice

Another one here.
Sadly all the HRT the Newson clinic can throw at me hasn't fixed it.
Testosterone has given me a terrific crop of leg hair though!
I do best if i leave dh and dc behind and walk / swim solo. Lots.

Another one here.

I thought I had it sorted when I got my vitD levels back up to normal, but it just gradually crept back and I just keep upping the dose and adding co-factors to it.....

I have been TATT since my late 30s and have read books on ME, am forever trying to cut out processed food and eat lentils and stuff.

I haven't been on holiday for ages. I need a holiday but where to go 🤷‍♀️