Flatness, cba ness, boredom

[Fififizz]

Just posting about this which is/has been one of my main menopause symptoms and maybe just part of ageing and the change. I just can’t be bothered with anything much the mundane life stuff especially but also the things I used to enjoy like music, fashion, food. It all seems ‘meh’ and a bit pointless. I’m on HRT but have been tweaking the regime and dose for the last 5 years and still don’t feel that great. Can anyone else relate? Any tips or solutions? I have hypothyroidism but that’s now successfully medicated. The cba ness is a drag though. Thanks

@PeggyMitchellsCameo Why are you bothering to organise everything at Christmas? Embrace the CBA'd theme of the thread and scale right back, especially if no one is mucking in or prioritising you. And if people piss n moan cos Christmas isn't the same, let that be a lesson to them. If, for instance, you buy all your other half's family members presents, simply tell him that's his responsibility this year. If that means Great Aunt Edna gets nothing, so be it. That's on him.

I’ve enjoyed reading this thread and feeling less alone. I went to an 8am Pilates class today and sweated like nobody’s business, despite being on HRT 😩 I looked at my naked sweaty body before getting into the shower and thought FFS, when did I get cellulite on my stomach? Why am I so bloated? Why are my thighs really rubbing together when they didn’t use to? When did that cellulite grow at the top of my inner arms, it wasn’t there a year ago?

I know I’m fortunate to have a body that works well and allows me to do everything that I want to do to stay active but seriously it’s changing at a rapid rate despite Pilates, dog walks, healthy eating. I have cut back on alcohol but allowed myself a small glass of red last night and now I have a headache. I’ve got work to do on the laptop but I just want to curl up under a blanket on the sofa. Sorry for the moaning just needed to get it out. I want to find my inner @Azaleah as your post was very inspiring.

You haven't lost your sense of humour, though. 😂

"Rage, rage against the dying of the light."

PS: if you're still able to eat chocolate, no IBS, GERD, or migraines, enjoy it while you can.

@PeggyMitchellsCameo made me laugh too. Never read so many “rage” in one post!

When your eyesight gets worse the cellulite and wrinkles won't look so bad 😂

My current mirrors are my cats, they're so gorgeous and cute 😻😻

@Azaleah ….. but you can’t see the chin hair clearly 🤣. Seriously, I noticed a one inch long hair under my jawline at the side the other month and thought wtf.

I’m happy with my appearance (weight aside), my skin has always been good and I’ve always loved my hair.

I have to check my chin before I put my contact lenses in. Or else I just can't see it, it's quite horrifying.

I had a hairy neck from puberty, which turned into a hair jaw in my late 30s and testosterone has definitely increased.

So pluck daily, microplane every two days and I'm fine.

Me too @Twentybottlesofbeer , I was teased about my ‘sideburns’ at school as a teen. I’ve never done anything about it until recently, I took testosterone to counteract side effects when dealing with the big C. The hair didn’t decrease when I stopped taking it after 18 months.

I wax my own legs and I’ve used my waxing kit to deal with it twice recently, quite successfully. I must remember to have a go with my Lumea on my face when I do it next but I’m a bit wary.😐

😂 Mine are white and thin now, they don't bother me any more.

I envy your good skin, I like my hair too minus the stubborn white ones. Most body hair is gone, no more boring shaving, waxing, lasering, whatever you call it now.

The joys of low testosterone.

@Azaleah i hadn't realised how much impact my peri meno had had on my hair until I started having to shave my legs again all the time after starting T!

I realised that they had gone very scant, including my eyebrows sadly.

@FaceLikeACrackedScreen i was referred to by the boys as 'Billy goats gruff'. Nice. 🙄

@Twentybottlesofbeer Sex hormones are powerful stuff. I wonder if after decades without them (very low levels), I'm going to feel like a child again. Most of my maternal female ancestors lived long enough after menopause without hormone treatment, and they were sua funny bunch of lovely ladies. I miss them so much, they had the 'joie de vivre'. Is chronic discontent a sign of the times?

A friend has suggested going for a coffee together today. Omfg. I just wanted a weekend where I don't have to leave the house or get dressed properly. I feel obliged to meet her.

I am annoyed with a friend also. An old friend who I thought I knew well, keeps asking me if I will contact my mum (I am NC with mum and she knows this) Why would you want someone do contact someone in that situation? It's making me feel guilty and sad and I don't need it. I thought she knew me but it seems not. Maybe just because someone has known you a long time, doesn't mean they actually 'get' you at all.

Could you just say you aren't feeling well? maybe you just need a bit of space

I can definitely relate to the feeling of exhaustion! I am on Dr Wendy Sweet’s My Menopause Transformation course and she suggests that if you’re exercising daily our bodies are not able to recover fully - hence feeling knackered! She suggests cutting back a bit until you feel less exhausted in your body.

she doesn’t say stop moving but more talking swimming and ‘gentle’ exercise for a while instead of full on classes.

might be worth a try? It’s something i found hard to digest but i cut back my high intensity classes and feel quite a bit better .

it’s the CBA in terms of stuff to do in the house that I need to fight now 🤣

I managed to hoover the car out for the first time this year. I usually do it every 6 weeks or so. It took a huge amount of energy but wasn't actually too bad once I got going

This is a very interesting (albeit techy) article about Vagus Nerve Stimulation and its potential role in helping people with apathy or anhedonia. I wonder if the hormonal upheavals of menopause can impact the balanced functioning of the vagus nerve.

www.nature.com/articles/s41467-020-17344-9

Hello, I read this thread nodding along. I’m 51 and been on HRT for two years (Mirena and gel) which seems to do naff all beyond having given me a pot belly. I am really not enjoying this stage of life and would happily stay in my pjs until perk is over.

@Judystilldreamsofhorses I'll join you in pj's all day until this crap is over with. I feel miserable, bloated, heavy, sad, miserable, achy, fed up, cba, angry, consumed with rage, boring, overwhelmed, anxious, tired, emotional and fat.

<mopes off for a long cry>

Me too. Having to go to work is a serious pain in the butt now!

So much wisdom on this thread, I love it. 'fab after fifty' etc on social media - ODFOD.

The bloated-ness is the pits. We don’t have kids and I have always been the envy of my friends who do because I had a small waist/flat tummy (a huge arse though). <Hollow laugh.> I am so self conscious about how my body has changed, although I am still a size 12 so not that big if I am logical about it. I have fibroids (nice) and IBS (also nice) and can look six months pregnant by evening. And the jowls. Jesus wept.

@Judystilldreamsofhorses I have jowls. I don't like them but cba to do exercises that might lessen them. I'm trying to embrace the jowls or just smile constantly.

I struggle with the surprises in terms of appearance. that come out of nowhere…

look in the mirror: oh I guess I am now grey at the temples…

next day: wow, suddenly my right eyebrow has a massive bald patch wtf?

then: why are there cactus pricks appearing on my chin? White prickly hairs?! wtf

i also have a lot of rage, but I channel that into my sport and some of my peers now think I am a bit scary and competitive 😁 I often end up competing against men (and enjoy their baffled faces)

made myself a rage playlist on Spotify and DH and adult son know what it means when I have Slipknot in my headphones

53 on Mirena and Oestrogel

I am not CBA tbh, mostly full of rage 😂😂😂 and that gives me the energy I need I guess. So I embrace my anger and go into battle mode with life/tasks. With an occasional break to have a big old cry as life’s challenges can be a bit much… (caring for elderly parents, husband can’t get a job, kids have issues, people I love dying etc etc)

I’m trying to keep up with this thread. I intend to go back over it and re-read everything at sone point but my brain keeps slipping off task so today’s not the day.

Strangely, I’m feeling a smidgeon better in some respects.

I have a tad more energy and have been a little bit more productive.

Don’t get me wrong nothing like my pre menopause self days but maybe I’m finally absorbing some oestrogen from the patches.

I did experience ‘the rage’ in ASDA though. People just seem away with the fairies and I don’t mean menopausal aged women as I now cut them some serious slack. 😂

I’m with you on the body changes. The flatness and moods are one thing but coming to terms with what’s happening to the body isn’t easy. Though currently I cba to do anything proactive about that either than just think ‘oh dear’ to myself.