Did menopause make you go off men

[whatisforteamum]

Recently I've noticed my colleagues and dh are getting on my nerves.They are all men,everything thing they do seems so childish. Weirdly I've always worked with men no issues .
Tbh the misogyny is rife where I work I just wondered if anyone else has been through similar in the menopause.

*I wonder if when I was younger and my sex drive was higher, I was happy to take the unappealing traits on as I was concentrating on the physical appeal, excitement, butterflies etc.

Now that I’m older the rose tinted glasses have come off ?! Maybe.*

I've wondered this too.

Blitzen Your post resonates with me a lot. I have had my children later - I am in for the long haul. Trying to be kind to myself.

Yep. Met up with my sisters yesterday for the first time in so long and it was bloody lovely. We're all either in peri or menopausal & it was fucking brilliant to let rip.
Oldest sister is 57 and got out of an abusive relationship 7 years ago. No interest in men and she looks absolutely fantastic - happy, a job she loves & enjoying being single & her freedom finally.
I have absolutely no tolerance left for men generally, including DH. Same with my other sister who is married to a nasty, lazy dickhead. It pisses me off so much because she's amazing, funny, strong, kind and deserves so much better
Perimenopause is proving to be an absolute bastard. Seven years in and I'm desperate for it to end!
I have no interest whatsoever in sex or being a grown man's stand in mother anymore. I fantasise about only having my own mess to clear up and having my own little space where I can shut the door and be done with it all. No idea whether this will pass or if it's permanent.

Thanks for this thread OP, I needed to get that off my chest

And I'm running out of patience with my 2 teenage Ds's.
I love them to bits but it's so draining with the backdrop of peri and the stresses of lockdown etc.

Same. Im a single parent in a v small terraced house. 2 teens. I was so glad to get this house but now we are bursting out of it and i cannot cope with the size of them and the mess and the entitlement. I want them to move out but it will be at least 4 years before even one of them can move out 😵🥴
I long for a tidy house.

Following with interest

C0nstance
Oh god yes, I dream about things being tidy and actually staying that way! It would be so bloody lovely to have a calm, organised living environment - would help my brain function better & stop me from wanting to shut myself in a cupboard & cry!

YY to a tidy house ☹️

Oh I can imagine threewheeler1.
Thank goodness my dcs are adults.

Well yes, but that's nature's great trick, it's how it perpetuates the species! Once oestrogen and testosterone start to plummet you see more clearly.

I think of men I used to know at university. When I look at their social media, I realise that most are assholes, and probably always were.

You care less. I was carrying something long and pointy today (dangerous) and some younger men made some sexual remark, and I snarled at them to fuck off. I doubt I'd have done that at 25 or 35 but I've now come to realise that entitled loudmouths need to be told where to get off.

@MultitudinousSeasIncarnadine

OMG - 47 for me too when the urge to shag just died.

I'm so lucky that (so far) t's one of my only symptoms, no night sweats, hot flushes, VA etc. I'm wondering whether to bother going down the HRT route just to bring back something I don't really miss.

I'm not sure that standard HRT does that much anyway.

Relieves the vasomotor and GU symptoms...the horrible fatigue and the wildly up and down moods...but sex drive in women is fuelled by testosterone, not oestrogen. If you don't need HRT and don't want sex, it is only really useful for bone health if you enter meno earlyish.

57 and post meno here. My periods only stopping August 2020 and although I still enjoy a high libido I have zero tolerance or need for a man. I dont mind one or two as a platonic friend though. I just have 'arrangements' with the occasional guy for shenanigans. I still have my teenage boy aged 16 to cope with at home. I am not impressed with his testosterone at times either. Still once he moves out in a few years it will be pure bliss. We get on ok but males always think they are so important... I am just amazed women can put up with their partners for years and years. I do seriously feel sorry for them they havent learned independence and peace and quiet!

Today was a prime example.Doing the gardening he decides to strim a bush while I was right by it with my shears.I point out the branches could go in my eyes so he throw s down the electric strimmer and runs off.
Dh is 61.Embarrassing or what.I don't need a toddler.

@whatisforteamum

Today was a prime example.Doing the gardening he decides to strim a bush while I was right by it with my shears.I point out the branches could go in my eyes so he throw s down the electric strimmer and runs off. Dh is 61.Embarrassing or what.I don't need a toddler.

The toddler tantrums are wearying. They sure regress as testosterone levels fall 🙄

This by far is the best threat I've ever read. Ladies you all rock!

I have found my people!!

I've had cancer twice so can't take HRT....luckily I don't need it for my health so I'm not bothered.

I was inspired by this thread to get a blow up bed and when my partner comes up to visit once a month my living room gets turned into his bedroom. Once lockdown is well and truly over I'll be getting rid of my uncomfortable couch and getting a good sofa bed. He's fine with it all, his last visit a couple of weeks ago we had a better time as I wasn't dead through lack of sleep and feeling ready to kill him!

Lots of people don't understand why we don't live together. We did for awhile but the flat got sold and we couldn't afford a deposit on a new one, so I returned to my previous city. I used to care about living together again but that went along with my libido!

Thought Germaine Greer put it simply and well when she said that post-meno, you 'become more like the girl you were, before hormones took over.' A second childhood, doing the things that you like, reading and creating and spending time outdoors and laughing with your friends, what's not to like?

@junipertree2 I agree totally - as a fellow Aussie, Germaine certainly hits the nail on the head with that! There's a part of me that does feel like I wasted literal decades caring too much about men - wanting them to like me, fancy me, etc. I put them first (and they always put themselves first too) ...so much time, money and energy wasted!

[quote noirchatsdeux]@junipertree2 I agree totally - as a fellow Aussie, Germaine certainly hits the nail on the head with that! There's a part of me that does feel like I wasted literal decades caring too much about men - wanting them to like me, fancy me, etc. I put them first (and they always put themselves first too) ...so much time, money and energy wasted![/quote]
'The Change' is a great book I think - embrace the third stage of life, don't endure relationships unless they are worth it, don't give in to societal pressure not to age. 👍

@junipertree2

Thought Germaine Greer put it simply and well when she said that post-meno, you 'become more like the girl you were, before hormones took over.' A second childhood, doing the things that you like, reading and creating and spending time outdoors and laughing with your friends, what's not to like?

I think there is some truth in this! Downside is, as pp said, men seem to tend to regress to grumpy toddler.

Junipertree2.
Yes I agree.Simple pleasures become more important.

@StarCourt

Yes but not because of menopause, because so many of them are substandard

This

@justanotherneighinparadise

My libido is non existent at 47. I would say it disappeared around 43/44.

Snap, except mine has returned with a vengeance! My husband also sodded off when my libido left. That may have been a blessing…

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow

It’s not terrifying in the least.

It’s a huge relief. And a sense of contentment. And empowerment and freedom.

Sex: just cannot be arsed
Sexist male shite- just laugheable and pathetic.

I can so relate to this. I was really anxious about the menopause as I suspected I'd lose my libido. And yep, it's pretty much gone out the window, but what's so interesting is I don't care. I feel like I've been released from the hormonal roller coaster ride that I've been stuck on since puberty. I'm not hijacked by my sexual urges any more, and free to focus on what I love. It is empowering, and freeing. Especially the not giving a shit bit, now my placid, nurturing hormones have the flown the nest.

No.
Men made me go off men.