Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Menopause

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Did menopause make you go off men

202 replies

whatisforteamum · 27/05/2021 18:12

Recently I've noticed my colleagues and dh are getting on my nerves.They are all men,everything thing they do seems so childish. Weirdly I've always worked with men no issues .
Tbh the misogyny is rife where I work I just wondered if anyone else has been through similar in the menopause.

OP posts:
Frogsonglue · 31/05/2021 20:52

*musing not missing

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 31/05/2021 20:58

Yesssss and l think women age better than men too.

Men become kind of leathery/scaly and hairy.

Women look after themselves, so look better. I look loads better than Dh😁

Goawayquickly · 31/05/2021 21:01

Men made me go off men, menopause gave me the push to realise I neither need nor want one.

OverByYer · 31/05/2021 21:01

I agree , my friends all look fabulous. Their husbands less so

Frogsonglue · 31/05/2021 21:02

Ha yes Arse that's true. I also look better than my DH Grin Also a lot of women get funnier as we grow into ourselves. And more adventurous. Whereas men's personalities seem to stagnate.

Northernsoullover · 31/05/2021 21:06

I don't know if its menopause or MN that has heightened my disdain of men. I am in a relationship but if that ends I'm absolutely done.
My libido packed up and went. Tbh I don't know if I want it back. The thought of sex leaves me cold. The thing is HRT might bring it back but I'm so not arsed. I do feel sad for my partner though. If his libido went we'd be really happy Sad

CherryDocsInYrBalls · 31/05/2021 21:08

I'm 48 and pray for the menopause but regular as clockwork, no hot flushes, but when I was 42 I met my xh after hopefully doing online dating. Fast forward 6 years, a divorce, my 2 kids hitting their teens and I couldn't give a shit about meeting a man thanks God!!! No interest in online dating and have no opportunity to meet them in my line of work/social life/hobbies. Those 6 years have been a real turning point and it must be to do with diminishing hormones.

FourTurnings · 31/05/2021 21:12

I’m 51. I am in a happy marriage now but when I think of the effort and energy I wasted on the succession of idiots I was involved with over the years, I could cry. The bloody abuse I put up with, how much it mattered to me what they thought of me, wtf was I thinking? I was gorgeous, intelligent and financially independent and they were so LUCKY to have me. I’ve got a good man now and I love my kids but if I ever became single - no, I’d never have another relationship.

MaMelon · 31/05/2021 21:19

I am irritated by most people, especially stupid or inconsiderate ones. My idea of heaven would be a little cottage in the middle of the countryside with a dog and garden for fruit and veg, and no fuckers to annoy me.

I’m totally off sex and no longer eye up men in the way I used to - I just know they’ll leave their socks on the floor, make irritating jokes and spend ages in the loo.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 31/05/2021 21:22

I mean,

Nigella Lawson or Jeremy Clarkson. Who looks the best?

Musntgrumble2021 · 01/06/2021 00:17

Queenofthenorthwest: I could literally kill him for chewing and breathing. I know I have some sort of issue I've googled it but most days I can deal with it. Some days I can't be in the room with him when he eats.

Oh my god, I could have written this! The eating noise!! I feel such overpowering rage at times. I have to leave the room too.

I’m def peri and am often fantasising about being alone. When I am alone it’s bliss. Total bliss. Lockdown and DH not working much at the moment hasn’t helped. He’s there ALL the time. But I can def cope with it better for a couple of weeks a month.

The other thing that really irritates is that assumption that if he’s talking I will be listening. I’ll have left the room and he will carry on talking, like what he is saying is so important I’m going to come back in to hear it. Or pausing mid sentence to eat so I have to wait with bated breath for whatever is coming next. And talking for ages just assuming I want to hear it. Telling me what he thinks about everything. Everything!!!

I could go on. It’s my rage filled few days of the month. Don’t want to see anyone or do anything. A hut in the middle of nowhere would be ideal.

Holothane · 01/06/2021 00:21

Oh I they go on and on and you’re sitting there ffs I do not care about so and so.

TO12T39FRQ · 01/06/2021 00:38

I thought it had, but then the tiktok guy happened...

Providora · 01/06/2021 00:38

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow

I mean,

Nigella Lawson or Jeremy Clarkson. Who looks the best?

I think that comparison just illustrates that only beautiful, youthful looking middle aged women are 'allowed' in the public eye, whereas men can look as rough as guts (and have appalling personalities) and still earn bucketloads as celebrities.

As a 49yo I'm finding this thread intriguing as none of what's described has happened to me yet. Maybe it's hormones which were recently tested and came back as normal, maybe it's that I've snaffled one of those vanishingly rare men who is thoughtful and kind, and actually makes my life easier. If and when the sex dies off he'd still be a wonderful friend and companion. I do realise how lucky I am in that respect, it took me most of my life to find one like him after throwing back a lot of frogs.

fallfallfall · 01/06/2021 00:57

yes from 40+ i realized how pathetic men were. it's like a light turned on i'm 63 now and i don't quite "hate" the species so much but i'm 100x more vocal about sex based injustice.

Lisheen21 · 01/06/2021 01:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BlitzenandMikey · 01/06/2021 08:14

Not bothered about men either. Been with partner for 20 years, two teen kids and we are more like companions these days rather than partners as such. A mix of the menopause, Hormonal son, work and just general knackeredness have all contributed. We are all going on a family trip soon and frankly I’m dreading it!

BlitzenandMikey · 01/06/2021 08:19

I also dream of being alone, in a self contained flat, no maintenance, no bloody garden, no painting and decorating and no bloody mess! I’m done with the domestic shit in life!

MaMelon · 01/06/2021 08:22

I’m done with the domestic shit in life!

Absolutely this. And I swear to god, if one more fucker asks me what’s for dinner I’m going to kill them.

Journeynotdestination · 01/06/2021 08:27

One of the plus points of menopause is that you care less about men. I still love sex but no longer have the relationship angst I used to have.

rabbitcow · 01/06/2021 08:36

God, I thought it was just me! Mid 50s. I do love my DH, but some days I would very happily walk off into the sunset alone. If we split, there is no way I would have another man in my life . No way. The whole relationship thing is a con for women.

FourTurnings · 01/06/2021 08:40

Couldn’t agree with you more rabbitcow. It’s a con I spent most of my life buying into.

rabbitcow · 01/06/2021 08:41

Men, on the other hand, seem to get progressively grumpier, lazier, smellier and more pedantic

The grumpiness, it drives me crazy! I think it is their hormones?

justanotherneighinparadise · 01/06/2021 08:42

My libido is non existent at 47. I would say it disappeared around 43/44.

revampneeded · 01/06/2021 08:44

Yup, no interest. And I'm gutted: I've been looking for ages for a good, cheap upholsterer to rescue some of my shabby old furniture. Finally found a brilliant guy local to me, and he started asking me out. I'm not interested in him; I look like shite so God knows what he sees in me, and what I REALLY want is someone I can talk to about complementary cushion piping.