Did menopause make you go off men

[whatisforteamum]

Recently I've noticed my colleagues and dh are getting on my nerves.They are all men,everything thing they do seems so childish. Weirdly I've always worked with men no issues .
Tbh the misogyny is rife where I work I just wondered if anyone else has been through similar in the menopause.

Yes a lot of the time my dh just irritates me he can be grumpiest sod on the planet and all the health issues his and mine, it never ends think that’s why every two years or so I go down with an illness that puts me to bed and I have to stay there. I’m 55 now love him but don’t think of him sexually any more, I know one thing I’ll never have another man. (Dreams yes)

Yes.
And my family is only men now (DH, DSs, a brother), no female relatives left.

In recent years (partly because of MN!) I feel that I've had my eyes opened to all the misogyny I've put up with over the years - in education, work, family, relationships and it's left me bitter and angry.
Caring for parents and a child with SN kiboshed my career and I've been left feeling hollow and unappreciated.

When DH does one of his numerous irritating habits I just look at him and think "what is even the POINT of you anymore?"
I genuinely think I'd be happiest if I could leave them all to it and live in a commune with only women. I might even become a celibate lesbian . . .

I’m 45, not menopausal yet and I know exactly what you mean. The Darwinian urge is very strong when you’re younger. Most men irritate me intensely now, although a handful are quite delightful (platonic friends, cousin, brother, son, one particular work contact). I think a lot of it is impatience with the culture TBH. The misogyny is just as strong as thirty years ago.

@BillieSpain you’ve really made me laugh I know I shouldn’t but by god when they get on a roll it’s dreadful isn’t it? I just think ffs sake will you shut up.

Yeah, going through the perimenopause and some days I get the complete rage and I want to beat up a man, they just annoy the fuck out of me and sex is so overrated, I have a magic wand now, my own money and a cat so why do I need a man, I don’t.

It was men who made me go off men.

Ha ha so true. Men think of themselves as so much more full of vigour at 50 something but if their dating pool was accepted by society to be 65 ish then they'd be flatlinging. If it was accepted by society that a 50 something woman could still hope to find love with a 35 year old then women would be a bit more sexual.

But the whole thing is such bullshit. I understand how much time I spent hoping to meet somebody, 25 years since i was 18 and 7 trapped with a abuser because i was afraid not of being single but of being known to be single. The patriarchy did a number on me but enough now.

Guccijackie I know men who have had flings with 50 something women who where their mums age.
I just think their thought process is so different.I crave female company now which I never have before.
As a female chef I'm overlooked all the time.A penis would've got me further than 30 plus years and qualifications.

Younger men definitely seem to be attracted to older women, I’m 39 and in the last year I’ve had a 24 year old ask me out, a 28 year old and a 27 year old, it’s great for the ego but they have too much sexual stamina at that age and I can’t be bothered with penetrative sex lasting more than 10 mins, it’s the foreplay that should last ages, not the sex, when will men get this? It’s no fun being ‘banged’ for ages

OMG - 47 for me too when the urge to shag just died.

I'm so lucky that (so far) t's one of my only symptoms, no night sweats, hot flushes, VA etc. I'm wondering whether to bother going down the HRT route just to bring back something I don't really miss.

@MultitudinousSeasIncarnadine

OMG - 47 for me too when the urge to shag just died.

I'm so lucky that (so far) t's one of my only symptoms, no night sweats, hot flushes, VA etc. I'm wondering whether to bother going down the HRT route just to bring back something I don't really miss.

If you meet a man then you may want too? I’m just feeling like this because I’m not on HRT either and I am single but I’m only 39 and not quite ready to be celibate yet, and I want to meet the love of my life, even though I’ve went off men just now then I want the HRT to sort that out!

I think the age when menopause comes along has a lot to do with having it up to 'here' with men and their bullshit but I see a lot of younger women, thankfully, becoming less tolerant of men in general. I hope it's patriarchy being dismantled

@GucciJackie .. exactly the same here!!! Spent decades obsessing about being 9 stone or under ! I'm 54 now .. in menopause.. or through it, not sure. I'm 10 stone .. a 12 rather than a 10 and perfectly happy !!! Why did I do this to myself !! I probably look better now ..

I'm still 9 stone however I am doing it for my health but I know what you all mean about trying so hard to stay slim.
The men I know don't bother at all.

Yes but not because of menopause, because so many of them are substandard

But t I am menopausal. But my libido has not decreased unfortunately

I’ve become more intolerant of people generally. You’d think with lockdown I’d be desperate for any conversation and interaction but the minutiae of folk’s life’s bores the tits off me. I like my own space and having DH and kids around most of last year has driven me to end of tether. I’m sick of folk asking what I’m doing, what my plans are small talk blah blah. Just fuck off! Everyone! And leave me in peace!

I too long for the cabin with music, books and cats!

I was struggling with libido issues...and then discovered my husband was secretly watching porn (for which he shows no remorse - only sorry he got caught). I am struggling to move past this - especially the secrecy aspect.

I see other couples out walking together and feel a twinge along the lines of I don't have that and I am planning solo hobbies moving forward. Living separate lives really, living reasonably amicably and co-parenting under one roof.

I've wondered how much of my angst is down to the peri. and how much is genuine (heading off to therapy soon) but honestly I think I've just had enough of men in general. It's kind of sad but I'm hoping by developing my own interests etc. I will discover things I wouldn't have and meet people I wouldn't have if I were locked into coupledom some people find themselves in during retirement (trying to put a positive spin on it when really I feel sad about it all).

I would never get married again.

Not sure if it could be the menopause too (about the right age) but I'm quite confident that the thing that put me off men is men. So done with all that now.

Men made me go off men.

Why what happened anything specific?

Peri menopause here, has anyone else noticed that Menopause is literally, pause men?

[grin]@RainbowRaine. Clever.

@GucciJackie

It has made me realise how pointless all that effort was. Im single. A life time of hoping to meet somebody fgs. What a waste of my time. All the very ordinary men i tried to see through a positive lens. All the men who used me. My abusive x (chikdren's father). Love bombers. Men who only date women 10 years younger.

If i hadnt given up, id be looking at 60 somethings (im 50) and theyd be thinking i was menopausal. Fuck that!

When my dc were little i spent way too much on babysitters. I thought i had to at least try and meet somebody.

I could have had my kitchen extended or done a philosophy degree

Absolutely this

Weird I'm 47 and single and not remotely bothered by meeting anyone. But I've felt like that for years ! I'm seeing a gynae consultant and he can't get his head around the fact I'm not having sex.