Ada yes I love them, they were 2,3,4 & 6 when I uprooted and moved in with DH, mine were 5,9,16,18 and 20. The 16 yr old lived with us the other two had already left home although the 18yr old joined us a couple of months later. So we had six under 10 and two teenagers. Me and my kids were a team, I couldn't work without them taking a huge role in caring for their siblings before I met DH, they were and still are awesome.
Me moving in with DH meant that the skids BM could go to work, she used to look after kids while DH was at work despite the fact that she left two years before. She was in effect the nanny.
They were like little robots, everything had been done in a controlled way by BM. They weren't allowed out of bed until an alarm went off so often wet the bed rather than break a rule, they would spontaneously burst into tears if their meals were 5 minutes late, had a playroom but could only play with what she said on a particular day. They all had to be in bed by 6:00pm and so much more.
She wanted to continue being nanny but she smoked so wasn't going near my kids. I worked full time, 2 or 3 days in London and the rest of the time from home. My childcare bill was astronomical. BM never paid maintenance and had the skids twice a week for tea (2hrs) and every other Saturday from 10:00 - 4:00, she never took them to her rental house (said it was against tenancy agreement) never had them overnight.
I loved our brood, my teenagers were amazing helping at weekends, taking them to cinema, roller skating, bike rides and babysitting so that we could go out, do couple things etc. My eldest DD would take annual leave during half terms and come and look after all of them - just like she always did when I was a lone parent. It was so rewarding watching the skids blossom and become "normal kids". We were blissfully happy, our Sunday evening was polishing their school shoes and sorting out their laundry, so many knickers, socks, school uniforms all over a bottle of wine.
Five years later BM bought a house and had them a bit longer and started having them overnight every third weekend. As they got older and easier BM had them more, she was raising DC to be superior, intelligent human beings, gradually she poisoned them against me, my DC and the way we did things at home. When we married she was livid, wrote to school saying I had no authority to sign school letters, couldn't take them to the dentist etc. They all became mentally screwed up. If she had them for a weekend me and DH still had to take them to sports activities, swimming, parties etc.
DH was so frightened that she would take them away that he did whatever she wanted. When the older ones got to secondary school she started the weird stalking stuff, bought the same clothes as me, I get a new car, she gets a new car. She convinced them that her and DH would still be a family if it wasn't for me. Then I became disabled. But yes I love them, my heart breaks because of what she's done to them, they have completely screwed up views of life. I remember one skid talking about all the things she would do when she was older, I said you might not be able to do all of that when you have kids - she looked at us and said well they will live with their dad so I can do what I want., it was chilling.
Then I became disabled and the rest you know.