Where have all the fit, interesting and available men gone? Part 21

[Monty100]

Did anyone beat me to it??

eww i jsut logged onto zoosk and went to see who had viewed my date card there was one photo of a guy int he shower that was barely legal - the pic not theguy ewwwwwww

mrsm - ah come on. dont knock being a cougar till you try it

have't heard from clint or orwell since sat ... i'm not texting them.so we'll see if i hear from then again to confirm their dates. both were told i am very busy and not available for a date till end of month/june.

forces cant look at flights till he is back to germany and gets his laptop.

mrsm - If I had said no to him rearranging he would have gone anyway and took DS to the party who is 5 and autistic and hates strange houses and people, and would have just gone along while his dad got drunk and showed no interest in him except as a 'look how cute my little boy is' type trophy. If I had plans I still would have let him change days and sorted a babysitter, putting DS first doesn't always = him seeing his dad on arranged days sadly.

juice - that is how I am tryng to view this meet up yes, time out of the house see how we get on in RL and maybe make a new friend, maybe not.

What is a cougar? It is some new term I am not familiar with isn't it. Have heard it a few times and if I can't ask on MN where can I ask!

hatesponge - no wonder you are fuming! Have these accounts he is running up debt on now been frozen if they are in joint names? Sorry I can't be much help apart from to direct indigant anger at him.

Sponge - just incorporate the debt into his part of the divorce settlement . The proof is there. Obv you'll know all this, just a message of support really. xx

Hi everybody

Thanks for the words of support. Have been through it all some more and it's actually over £40k. Unfuckingbelieveable.

I hadn't stopped his access to the account, because as of 6 weeks or so ago he assured me (via his solicitor) that he wasn't putting anything in or taking it out. Which of course was all lies.

Think I am finally going to have to bite the bullet and get a solicitor, rather than doing it all myself, because am feeling out of my depth now. I have no idea how to stop him using the account. Hopefully they will.

He really is a total twunt though. Spent £300 in Ernest Jones on his girlfriends' Xmas present (I rarely got any kind of present when we were together, even bought my own engagement ring!) yet also has just renewed his membership to Dating Direct (which I didnt even know he was on..)

sorry for the rant. am quite close to chucking all his stuff in the street at this point.

sponge - def time to get a solicitor. would you like a hand in chucking his stuff on the pavement? i'm sure he can stay at a relatives till his new place is ready for him... this after removing the furniture would be a step too far for me. you are a saint to have put up with him this far already.

cougar - older lady who purposefully dates younger man due to his age.(i think)

Sponge - get on to the bank, sort yourself out an account inyour own name and freeze joint a/c.

Go and see a solicitor/phone the bank - as far as I remember, it's a f*cking mare trying to get a joint account closed but you may be able to get it red lighted so that no further withdrawals are possible but at least make bank aware that you will not be responsible for any more money that goes out if you can.

The man is a twunt and more ... I feel for you - if you need somewhere to vent/feel like a night out get in touch - I can bring a punchbag if required.

Re throwing his stuff out - try not to but maybe bag up and take to third party?

Sponge - sort out the a/c before you tell them anything or they'll freeze it and not let you get anything out of either.

(It's all coming back to me now).

ah, thank you all

juice - am far from a saint trust me, have been thinking of lots of cruel punishments for the Ex today which only my legal career (or lack of) stops me putting into action....

monty/kdk- the account thing is even more of a nightmare because it's all connected to our mortgage, so I can't close/freeze it as far as i know - although am certainly going to try and limit his access to it, am waiting for call back from bank to see if its possible...

found out he's got the keys to his flat (thanks DS2 who let that slip!) and is decorating before he moves in. Think he might be going quicker than he expected.

One good thing, all this seems to have cured my various ailments - or at least stopped me thinking about them.

sponge i hope your on the phone to the bank as i type this. you are liable for any debt on this account unless you can specifically prove it was withrawn for his private use. holidays , etc should be ok as in his name.

but.. if he's been using it for cash/supermarket/household goods he can argue it was for things you both needed. like groceries for house, jewellery as gift for you.

do you really trust someoe who removed your dc wardrobes from the house not to try and wiggle out of some of it?

rearrange any wages paid into it to another account and call them now, so they freeze it. until they are notified you are still liable.

x posts. glad you have called them.

just a thought, sponge - I managed to prove that all the outgoings after a certain date were on my ex's card, not mine - I agreed (stupidly in some ways) to clear the debt up to a certain date and said if they allowed access after that knowing it was on his card I wouldn't be responsible as had informed them we were no longer together and I cut up my card in front of the bank manager!

have been a cougar before in my younger days

perhaps i should read things first
i was in mid twenties and he was 19 i think.

sponge - stop everything he has access to. NOW. don't believe him when he says he won't touch it. b***it. he will take every penny if he could sweetheart. he used a joint account to get his gf a present??? what a twunt. sorry about my language ladies, i just get so angry about these 'men' treating women like dirt.
have just caught up on the posts, i think he knows that you won't draw it all out

Hi ladies, had a nice evening yesterday with boilerman. Kinda overshadowed with some bad news today, my nan had a mild heart attack last night luckily she has one of those buttons to press for help cos she's had 3 in the past and had a triple heart bypass. Looks like she will need a further op on the bypass, so keeping my fingers crossed she's ok.

Sponge-sorry to hear about your twunt of an ex! hope you've managed to stop his access to the account!

Betty - what did you get, did you have a feel - of the present - you dirty minded lot! Sorry to hear about your nan.

Juice - for drinks in town I think on Sat. Have made it quite clear that's all he's getting (apart from a kiss or 3 that is!) Reckon I need to wear my big pants to make sure I keep to that!

Mrs M - thanks for your insight. He can't be seeing anyone else at the moment 'cos he's texting me far too much. He's still logging on to the site though so we'll see.

Sponge - what a nightmare. You need to ope en your own account and get the bank to put a freeze on the joing account.

SL - you'll be fine on your dates. Just think of it as practice your flirting techniques. I try to think of a few questions beforehand from their profiles just in case there's that awkward silence - hark at me like I'm a profession 1st dater!!

morning ladies.

sm - we know what you meant lol. oh and don't shave ya legs. that way there's no chance he'll get anything else!

betty - sorry to hear about your nan, fingers crossed she makes a speedy recovery.

mrsm - not sure on low blood pressure tbh, what has the quacks advised?

sponge totally agree with what the others are saying - is there any reason for you to still hold the joint account? tbh I think i'd also go so far as taking my name off the account as well. but do agree thou on not trusting him at all and getting the bank to freeze it. get to a sols. ASAP. oh and make sure you have copys of his business accounts & all other financial papers as well - I wouldn't trust him at all to do the decent thing.

juicy - na didn't sort it - and let em come running back to ya girl.

lining - good luck with your date. oh and ref first dates they get easier - but go be yourself, charm them, buy a drink - have one then a soda water or something. if you're not comfy only have one, get a mate to ring you after half hour incase you need an out.

anyhow.... better run for now soldier is on the blower....

right am back again to finish catching up.

sin you and me both ref the earthy men and banter. I'd rather date a 'normal' down to earth person who I could be myself with than someone who had a stick up his butt thinking he was all that.

thankfully soldier seems to be earthy and so far a stable calming influence, we've had earthy, we've had stable but not had the 2 together - and well it's all about that for me.

kdk - what site are you finding these blokes on!?! lol.

mrsm - so what's happening then with you an dates coming up?

< i'm scaring myself as well - last 2 weeks glee's been on - althou there's a man on it who sounds like a woman - in fact his voice is 'prettier than mine' - scared emotion!> lol. still think it's pants thou.

Evening all

Re professional men - think it really depends - I've got a few male friends who are professional and they are as much a bunch of pissheads/down to earth types as anyone else so think it's more to do with personality than anything else ...

And @ belle, sadly - various sites - PoF, OKC, Smooch - I think I give off subconscious signals offering myself to loons/oddballs and the seriously deranged!

Betty - how is your Nan? Hope she's ok.

Hi everyone .

Sponge have you confronted the twunt?

ah you're in the big smoke thou - say no more lol.

Is that the reason - I wondered what it was! Bit like living in a giant care in the community commune! Mind you, still doesn't explain why they all home in on my profile though.