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Original poster

Where have all the fit and interesting men gone part TWELVE

1000 replies

lou33 · 07/09/2009 17:38

starts here

why would you bin off gymboy before asking about it?

he may well just have been checking mail or hiding a profile or something, talk to him before you dump him

OP posts:
DONTtouchMUMSspecialJUICE · 28/09/2009 15:45

sb - have you told him why your feeling so pissy or does he think your just having a shit day?

Original poster
lou33 · 28/09/2009 15:45

tbh calling me hunny would be enough to end it

OP posts:
thesouthsbelle · 28/09/2009 15:50

he's always called me it thou so I worry when he doesn't really!

I told him it was due to work but I woke up in a shitty mood & he just said ok then and went a bit quite. we were talking as normal thou. I said i'd work it out in combat & would be fine to talk after - i'm about 90% sure on what way i'm going with things but just want to get this anger out first.

Original poster
lou33 · 28/09/2009 15:52

i'm just being flippant, ignore me, its the painkillers

though i dont like the term myself

OP posts:
thesouthsbelle · 28/09/2009 15:57

don't worry Lou,

sorry i've been moaning on again today, how's your back, is it improving at all, oh and re the new CSI - it's not all that tbh.

scl/misty - good luck, hope you have better luck, we had agreed to try & see more of each other - maybe i'm being unreasonable a bit as well to expect to see him everytime I have childless time - it's just it doesn't happen often so I like to use it in the best possible way . we shall see.

mousie - what is it about ex's and their terms??

sincitylover · 28/09/2009 17:23

not holding my breath with samename but if so I won't be heartbroken - hard to explain - I like him but have never had that angsty feeling with him.

I don't like hunny either but am guilty of calling someone honey. Only cos they wanted to use terms of endearment.

Samename sometiems calls me darling (!!!!!!) I always feel like laughing hysterically.

DONTtouchMUMSspecialJUICE · 28/09/2009 17:42

bf calls me toots. which implies he thinks i'm small ... well i'm smaller than him i suppose.

thesouthsbelle · 28/09/2009 17:49

never know scl - how long have u been seeing him?

toots is nice.

I usually go with sweetie but not very often thou tbh.

thesouthsbelle · 28/09/2009 17:51

am thinking of texting him to say I don't want the hassle, the dating bit yes but not the rest of it, not the emotions. not sure if I can keep it like that thou myself cos as I say he does have the potential to be something special but he's putting pressure on himself which in turn is putting it on me (he openly admitted the pressure was coming from him & not me re DS). what do u think?

DONTtouchMUMSspecialJUICE · 28/09/2009 17:57

belle - thats not what you want and you will end up hurt.. you have said it several times.

the emotional wreck that will leave you of not knowing exactly where you stand will be far worse than it is just now if you relegate this to a casual relationship.

why do you want to offer him a casual thing? why not just decide its all and proper relationshipo.. or walk away and find someone else who deserves you, if he doesn't want to know you because of ds, then he is not a nice guy at all... and what i'm asking is why you would want to be with someone who isn't nice under ANY circumstances.

thesouthsbelle · 28/09/2009 18:05

fair one. i'm ready for the next step with him, BUT i'm not ready for the stress. pressure and basically DS to be involved so where does that leave me? Mum's worried that if he does get his head around things that DS will become like an emotional punch bag to him - that is something i'd never allow, one thing for me another thing for my son (have alwasy said that about XH as well)

DONTtouchMUMSspecialJUICE · 28/09/2009 18:08

sb - dare i say maybe this isn't the right relationship for you?

DONTtouchMUMSspecialJUICE · 28/09/2009 18:10

the right relationship shouldn't be stressful or full of pressure. everyday ups and downs are hard enough. a partner should be there to support you and feel relaxed when you escape daily life... not feel like an added worry

thesouthsbelle · 28/09/2009 18:22

I know the rest of it does it's this one issue. tbh thou i'd feel the same with any man. (discussed this bit with the deejay many moons ago lol).

ho hum, going to have a break from it all I think for a while.

DONTtouchMUMSspecialJUICE · 28/09/2009 18:29

we're not talking about issues like whether or not he puts toilet seat down though are we.... we're discussing whether or not he can accept your ds?

Original poster
lou33 · 28/09/2009 19:23

its a huge issue and would be a deal breaker for me tbh

my back is feeling lovely thank you (loving hte pain relief)

OP posts:
notevenamousie · 28/09/2009 19:37

It is a huge issue sb and I'm so sorry it has come to this. I hope you can have a snuggly evening with your precious ds.

the Trekker phoned me from Ikea asking if I wanted anything! Bless - that sort of thing certainly feels like more than just someone I've been on a few dates with! Think work stress may get better as I have told a few people how I feel about it. Now if dd would only sleep through....

Original poster
lou33 · 28/09/2009 20:37

just had a nice long chat with lb on the phone about all sorts

i'm looking forward to being cooked for and spending time in his company on friday

OP posts:
thesouthsbelle · 28/09/2009 20:45

aww mousie how old is your DD? am liking the Ikea thing - we have a new one just opened here, am yet to risk going in there thou

Lou - glad your back is feeling better.

well feeling better now been to combat up the gym and worked really hard to beat him I mean my frustrations out. has worked. ultimately it is a deal breaker for me, if he can't come to the decision on his own then yes I will have to and things will be off. I know this deep down, and also know that I won't wait too long for him to actually decide.

The Deejay said today he had issues accepting his ex's DS and they lived together, but he sometimes found it hard so guess it's just some people (fwiw I know the deejay is a decent person really)

anyhow 1.5 hours gone and i've had a call & a text. half hour apart. so far haven't replied.

notevenamousie · 28/09/2009 20:53

She is nearly 3!!! And stopped sleeping when I started her in her new nursery for my new job... I think we need to move (to reduce commuting) and also move nursery. But in the meantime I don't know what to do. Have had suggestion of an extra blanket (in case she is cold) and that toddler milk stuff (in case she is waking up hungry) but she doesn't feel cold and eats loads. However I am going to try both as I need to do something about it.

He has got my lights from Ikea and we are planning our only both-of-us childfree weekend in a few weeks time which I am so pleased about. He seems to think I am worth it despite my "issues" - am I in luck here?

thesouthsbelle · 28/09/2009 21:00

does she come in with you? not to make it sound bad, but DS still does that and he's 3.5, I think with his thou he picks up on how i'm feeling - it can be something simple like your DD is picking up on your anxiety re the commute etc.

althou mum watched a programme about 'orbs' (if you believe such things) being around in kids bedroom and they basiclaly like to wake the children up to play - not sure if you'd go with that idea or not?

also I think they just like to have a bit of security, jsut to know you're there if she's just started in nursery it's prob just that.

As I say DS was a nightmare for about 18 months after we moved here, but very slowly he's getting there and actually stays in his own bed until half 5 now!!

notevenamousie · 28/09/2009 21:10

Unfortunately unless she is properly poorly, once she gets in my bed she wants to play, hide, tickle and generally NOT sleep. I'd be willing to try that otherwise tho. I guess it takes a while for their little toddler systems to adjust. Thanks sb for replying given what you are going through.

thesouthsbelle · 28/09/2009 21:14

ah don't worry water off a ducks back at the mo - been thru worse, will go thru better right - we all have.

oh and yes you are a lucky one.

scumbed thou and texted back saying had a good work out & feel better now, have fun & safe drive home, he sent one back within 10 mins (considering he's eating dinner with his folks for his dad's b'day) saying we're just eating, will ring u after we get out.

thesouthsbelle · 28/09/2009 21:16

hmm, have you tired getting in her bed next to her for some comfort (I knwo it's not the prefered choice) but when DS was going thru this phase my thoughts were any sleep is better than no sleep so would sleep in next to him (or him me) - he also used to like to play and be awake for a few hours ok when not working but not when you are!

just thinking what else it could be - is she teething (the back ones I mean?) Loosing a dummy/teddy? - well you know how they work

Original poster
lou33 · 28/09/2009 22:10

just had a v nice pic of lb with his hair newly cut

and on that note i am off to bed to sleep a valium induced sleep , and hope my back has sorted itself by the morning

night

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